Mid-January brought Olivia back to London. She returned to her little house, full of determination. Her holiday away filled her with the strength and willpower she had lost. She found Lord Dryden in his study, staring at his desk. She hovered at the door, watching him for just a moment longer. Somehow, she expected his attractiveness to diminish with the distance and her change in affection. But, he sat there the sunlight casting a halo upon his head and her breath caught. She shook her head and walked inside the room.
Olivia kept her hands behind her back, gripping onto the pleated folds of her skirts. He glanced up from his desk, blue eyes bloodshot. "Olivia," he croaked out. "I am sorry."
"What have you done?"
"I received my divorce and have asked Kassandra to marry me." He almost sounded apologetic.
"Then it is with great fortune I have come here to end our entanglement," said Olivia brightly.
"End? But...no, you're right." Philip shuffled through the papers on his desk. "I will speak with my lawyer about the contract." He licked his lips, voice trembling on his next words, "I cannot express how sorry I am. You were all I ever wanted. I--"
"Please stop, Lord Dryden. If that was true, then you would not have sought another."
Philip hung his head. "I cannot marry you," he explained in a low voice. "I am unable. My father's will states that I cannot marry a woman of a lower class. It is not that I do not want to...I simply cannot. I will lose my estate, my title, my fortune."
The governess tilted her head back, a sigh escaping her lips. "Since we do not live in a novel, I cannot expect you to sacrifice your livelihood to marry one such as me."
His explanation was the final piece of what had puzzled her for so long. Wills had the power to make or break someone. Dryden had the misfortune of a father who controlled him from beyond the grave. Still, she felt a little bit at peace.
"I love you so very much, Olivia. I did not want to cause you any harm."
"But, you did." She cleared her throat, forcing a smile on her face. "I will be removing myself to the Baynes if you need to send a note."
"This is your house," reminded Philip. "It is in your name."
"Stay here until you find rooms in the city, I know you don't rent any."
"I appreciate your kindness, but...Cecily has returned to the country, so Dryden House is available."
"Then, I will stay here. I expect your belongings to be removed three days hence." She turned on her heel and strode out of the study. Olivia made it out of sight before her knees weakened. She collapsed against a wall, breathing heavily.
That had not been as hard as she expected. Yes, her heart ached and her head swam, but it was done. She could put her life back in order. She could figure out her plans. Olivia took a steadying breath.
For now, she needed to hire a lawyer and find someone to handle her business matters. The contract stipulated an impressive settlement, which did not include all the stipulations according to infidelity and the like. She almost had to laugh at a mistress contract including a cause for infidelity when the entire relationship was founded upon such. Even so, Olivia would benefit from what she once thought silly.
She had to thank her younger self for agreeing to the contract. Olivia found Hannah fretting over her trunks. The maid frowned at the contents, deep in thought.
"Hannah, we are staying with the Baynes for a few days."
"Then what, Miss?"
"We return to our home to find it devoid of a masculine presence."
"Just like that?" It seemed too simple. "It is over?"
"It is finished. For good."
◊
"You...left...Dryden?" Olivia broke the news to Ellis on a frigid January day. Having sent a note to his home earlier this morning, the earl arrived with snow dusting his hair. Miss Fairfax appeared composed, her dark brow smooth, her countenance relaxed. Her fingers wrung the handkerchief in her hand and droplets of sweat matted her chemisette.
With a curt nod, she replied with, "Indeed, to a point. He has been granted his divorce and announced his intent to wed Miss Leitner. I wish to not entangle myself any longer in this tragic farce."
"That is best," he agreed. Ellis brushed the lingering snow from his hair, sending droplets onto the sofa. "But...why have you summoned me?" She looked him over, happy that he showed.
"You enjoy the law where many others find it tedious. If you are willing, I ask for your help in deciphering what I am due." She stood and walked to her writing desk. She opened the top drawer and removed a thick stack of papers. "The contract we signed. I know I shall keep the house if I so choose and all gifts and all in my account..."
"But Dryden is a fickle fool who promised you a settlement in the event of you choosing to end the arrangement AND if he has taken an additional lover." He crossed the room and took the contract from her. "I read it over when he had it drawn up, so I am familiar with it."
"Will you help me?" Olivia's gaze darted away from him. "I know you are good friends, but I do not know many trustworthy men."
"I do not agree with how Dryden handled any of this and I have let him know," he explained curtly. "We have not spoken in some weeks, I fear. What occurred over Twelfth Night has not entreated me to seek him out either."
"Oh...Ellis," she said sadly. "You have been friends for years!"
"Undoubtedly, we will be friends for many more...but not right now." Ellis' lips lifted into a smile. "I will be happy to help you, Miss Fairfax."
"Good. I will be pleased to put this behind me."
"Is it so easy?"
"Much easier than expected. But those feelings have long cooled," she admitted, fingers tapping against the desk. "And I am quite untutored in the ways of love, but surely someone who truly loved me would never behave in such a way?" Her voice caught on the end, thick with emotion.
Ellis cleared his throat. "No, Miss Fairfax, they would not."
She exhaled sharply, blinking her eyes. "Well, I must thank you, my lord. Forgive me, but I am not feeling well. Can we meet at a later time?"
"Of course. Just send a note and I will be here," promised the earl, sweeping into a deep bow.
Laughter escaped from her lips. "You are so gallant," she teased. "This matter is not pressing, so do not feel the need to rush over at a moment's notice."
"My days are not as busy since I have stopped taking mistresses. I have so much time to myself, I know not what to do."
"Box? Attend Trials? Attend one of your Society meetings?"
Ellis' answering grin stunned Olivia. His usual smiles were practiced tweaks of his mouth that sent women into faints. But this one lit up his face in a shockingly genuine fashion. "How do you know how I spend my days?"
"You speak as if we are not friends and do not see each other more often than we do not...it would be silly if I did not know." Olivia closed the top drawer of her writing desk. "I will walk you out."
He did not protest, offering his arm to Olivia. Ellis slanted a glance at the sometimes governess. Dark circles pooled beneath her usually sparkling eyes, delicate frown lines marred her smooth olive skin. She never spoke of her own feelings. With each conversation, he did not glean much information about her personal opinions but delighted in her opinions on academia and observations of the world around them.
At Bleumoor, he had a bit of a glimpse into her mind. She felt some sort of affection and desire for him, but the trust was not there.
"I have not forgotten Twelfth Night, Ellis. Not one bit."
"Do not think of it now. You have other concerns. As I said, I will be here for you always."
Olivia noticed then a slight interruption in her pulse, a jump in its normal regular pattern. She brought up the proposal to glean his reaction in a different setting. She had been blaming the magic of the holidays and the Baynes' lethal rum punch. Lord Linville had all the looks and wealth of Dryden. They shared many similarities, including a penchant for blondes. She hoped Ellis was more constant than her former lover.
She withdrew her hand. Ellis placed his hat upon his head. With one last parting smile, he departed from her home. Alone again. Olivia ran trembling hands over her bodice. She had secured Ellis' help. For now, she needed to draft some letters and make some plans.
◊
Olivia Fairfax bid a wistful farewell to her home of two years. With Ellis' help, she managed to sell the small home to a spinster of independent means. She accepted Lady Baynes' offer to move back to their home. The twins had no further need of a governess as they were to come out during the next Season. Despite her employment in their household, the Baynes' always considered her part of the family.
True to his word, Ellis had been a dear help in the entire process. And neither of them even mentioned Dryden's name. Towards the end of their entanglement, there were some days he never passed through her thoughts at all. While Ellis' name had invaded with a terrible force.
She knew not how long she might remain in the Baynes household. She had a hunger for travel and the means to do so. With those dreams firmly within her grasp, she wavered. She teetered on the precipice, far too unsure to take the final leap.
But on this fine sunny day, such thoughts drifted far from her mind. She focused on the tedious task of managing her accounts. With Ellis absent to the country, Lord Baynes helped as best he could.
"You are on the verge of becoming disgustingly wealthy," announced Alexander, blue eyes wide. "Not bad for a young lady of indeterminate means."
"I must thank Lord Dryden and both his thoroughness and his fickle nature," she replied, without a hint of bitterness.
He let out a sigh. "Ah yes...my cousin is to thank indeed."
"I have thought much on this and I intend to open a home for orphaned girls and donate money to Mrs. Clearwater's." She cleared her throat. "Anonymously, of course."
"That will not be difficult to do. She receives many such donations due to the sheer number of babes abandoned on her doorstep."
"She did much to aid me and they all put up with my incessant questions and desire for more challenging books. I would like to give back now that I have the means."
"A capital idea, Miss Fairfax!" Alex leaned back in his chair. The woman stared out the window. She had thrown off her governess greys and the exquisite gowns gifted by Philip, which left her somewhere in the middle. She wore a sensible gown in a striped muslin, her chemisette a delicate arrangement of fine lawn. She returned to their home with a tired air and spent most of her day in her room.
"What do you plan to do now?"
"I...do not know. Before I said I'd travel...but..."
"Why not? You have more than the means and a very devoted servant."
"I-I...am unsure why I waver so. It should take no convincing at all to leave this behind."
"It is not in human nature to change one's life in an instant. Despite what you may think, you have your life ahead of you. There are many roads you may take: travel, more governess positions, even marriage!"
Olivia's laugh came out ragged. "You have heard of Ellis' proposal?"
Alex made a yelping sound. "Linville offered for you? When?"
"Twelfth Night. Cat did not tell you?"
He slapped his hand on the table. "She chatters on and on about debutantes and courtship but decides to keep this tidbit to herself."
"That is odd," agreed Olivia. "Perhaps she did not wish to alarm you as Philip is your cousin."
"Sod that," he grunted. "Cousin or not, Ellis proposing to you, let alone any lady, is news indeed." The Viscount gasped. "But you did not accept."
"I postponed the discussion of the possibility of marriage."
"A very diplomatic way of saying you refused him." Alex fell against the back of his chair. "Well, I am astonished, Miss Fairfax. I am sure the ladies have filled your head with what a good match he is, but that means little to you."
"What do you mean?"
"You have suffered a massive disappointment at the hands of the first man you ever loved. Then you sacrificed your reputation for him and he made a bit of a fool of you by divorcing his wife and then choosing to marry another."
Olivia swallowed the bile that rose in her throat. He only repeated the words she had thought so many times. "At least, that is how you view it," he amended. "It is not unusual to be wary of wealthy titled men...or any man really. We are fickle. I, too, have succumbed to those follies, but Cat set me straight very early into our courtship."
"Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more. Men were deceivers ever,- One foot in sea and one on shore, to one thing constant never," she recited.
Alex offered her a comforting smile. "I cannot deny that. So, I will say this, if you are at all intrigued by marrying Ellis, discuss your doubts with him. If not, tell him you do not want to marry him and wish to travel to Abyssinia." Alex chuckled to himself. "Actually, do not tell him that...that hit far too close to home."
"Thank you, Lord Baynes."
"I think, at last, you may call me Alex."
"Thank you, Alex. I will think this all over and hope to come to a decision tomorrow."
She was gone before Alex could insist she take longer than a day to plan out her path. But, she scurried away, head eyes downcast, mumbling to herself.
The news of Ellis' impromptu proposal came as no surprise. As Cat cooed over Philip and Olivia, he noticed Linville's fascination with the governess. In the beginning, it amused him to see the sought-after earl so mystified by an orphan from Bath. Then the intrigue deepened into what Alex could only call affection, which then resulted in a poorly-timed marriage proposal.
Ellis lacked Philip's poetic soul despite his numerous mistresses. Any sort of declaration held far more weight than his cousin's. But Olivia seemed unaware or unwilling to see and decided it best to look upon all men suspiciously. Not that he blamed her one bit. Philip's actions stunned everyone, but no one more than Olivia. The members of the ton delighted in the gossip of his divorce, while Alex remained thankful that Olivia's name did not cross anyone's lips in connection to him.