Only Olivia

Chapter Four

A fortnight later on a humid midsummer night, Miss Fairfax could be found penning a letter at her small writing desk. She wrote with great care and at a halting pace. Olivia wrote a few words and then read them aloud. "I hope this letter finds you well..." She bent closer to the paper. "I regret how I left you that night..." She chewed on her bottom lip. 

Olivia let out an anguished groan and crumpled the paper. It joined a tiny mountain of rejected missives on the floor. For all her skills, Olivia was not a great letter writer. With her lack of family and acquaintances, she never had the chance to practice. Was there a book on letter writing? If a subject could not be learned from a book, she deemed it useless. Like letter writing. It was 1808, surely society was above such forms of communication now! 

She set her pen down and cracked her fingers. "One last try," Olivia murmured. She pushed her curling hair out of eyes. The blank page overwhelmed her. There was too much space to fill. Too many words she could write.  

It would be an easy matter to write to him of her days at Bleumoor Park, of the funny remarks the twin would say. She could explain herself and why she could not give in to what he wanted. She did not know him at all and he certainly did not know her. Why did she let herself become so undone in those few days? 

Lord Dryden may not have even thought of her. Men liked pretty governesses. That was that. Once he did not spy her face across the drawing room anymore, he would surely forget her. A frown tugged at her lips. This flutter in her heart when she thought of him...was this love? How could she find out? She did not like what it was doing to her.  

Olivia shut her eyes. All she saw was him. All she had seen since she met him was him. Oh, she was being foolish. A servant enamoured of an earl. What a travesty. The memory of his flexible lips quirking into a smile made her own lips turn up into a half-smile. Those dark blue eyes that shimmered in good humour haunted her dreams.  

"Buck up, Miss Fairfax." She picked up her pen and began to write.

24 June 1808 

Bleumoor Park, Kent 

Lord Dryden,

I trust this letter will find you well. Please do not find me brazen for penning you a letter. From what I have learned from Miss Clearwater, an unmarried woman should not write letters to a man, especially if he is above her station. If you can ignore the impropriety of my actions, I will be much relieved.  

I fear my letter may be dull for I am no great writer. I have written to you to offer my apologies for our last meeting. I was nothing short of rude. I had wanted to apologize the next morning, but Catherine Baynes had told me that you had decided to quit the country. Was it not to your liking? I must say that I miss Bath and Miss Clearwater's. Some days, I feel trapped between worlds at Bleumoor. I am not exactly a servant, but certainly not a member of the family. It can be difficult to sort out how exactly I am supposed to act. 

Not to say that the Baynes have not been kind. They are the most wonderful family. I worry that Catherine considers me a distant relative of hers since we share so many traits. I do not want her to be disappointed when it is revealed I am the simple daughter of a courtesan or some other unsavoury woman. 

This letter has gone on longer than I intended. Enjoy your time in London.

Respectfully, 

Miss Olivia Fairfax

27 June 1808 

London 

Dear Miss Fairfax, 

I was intolerably shocked upon receiving your letter at breakfast this morning. Upon reading it, I had to withdraw at once to my study to pen a reply.