Katie's POV
Currently I am in my room laying on my top bunk because I have nothing better to do but get lost in my own thoughts.
Let me ask you this one question...ever hear of the saying "Old habits die hard" or "Old habits are hard to kill" ? Well let me tell you those sayings are so damn true! It is so damn hard to kill the demons in my head, just when I thought I was free of them, they just laugh and pull me back in. Which ever asshole said recovery is easy...I call bullshit on them, cause it's not, it's actually pretty fucking hard.
Before I got deathly sick and was unable to keep any food that I had tried to eat down, the voices in my head came back. Since then they are becoming harder and harder to shut those little ass holes up. I purge most of the meals that I eat, only keeping one meal down a day. I started to cut again to release the pain from hearing the voices and to try and make them be quiet again. It's like the won a battle in my mind and take control whenever they want, and NO before you all ask, I don't have any plans on telling Demi any of this. Since its summer all my cuts are on my hips, Demi would notice even faster if I was wearing a hoodie in 90° weather no matter what state we are in, cause that's just insanity.
Suddenly I get pulled from my thought by Demi's voice.
"Katie, come downstairs, we need to have us a little chat." She yelled up.
Shit, Shit, Shit....she knows. How the fuck does she know already.... Ugh!
" Coming" was all I replied with...I was to paniced about if she knew or not
I climb down the latter at the side of my bed, passing by the full lengh mirror in my room, not happy with what I saw...then again when am I ever, leave my bed going downstairs to have this "little chat" with Demi.
Demi's POV
I walked passed Katie's bedroom, to which the door was closed. I am so worried about her, I don't want her to turn into the person I used to be. I don't want her life to revolve around drugs, starving herself, or self harm. I decended the stairs and walked into the media room to try and get my mind off of Katie and a possible relapse, only to start pacing from the worry of my upcoming chat with my daughter.
No matter what I did, I could not get my mind of off the this chat. Finally I walked over to the base of the stairs yelling up to her.
"Katie, come downstairs, we need to have us a little chat." I yelled up
"Coming" was I got as a reply
I walked back over to the media room only to have Katie walk up to the doorway and come to a dead stop.
"Sit" I instruct her...she dropped into criss cross applesause on the floor right where she was standing.
"Har Har Har don't be a smartass" I tell her
"Come here and sit" I say as patting the seat next to me on the couch. I watch her face as panic flashes onto it but disappering just as fast as it appered.
Katie quietly got up and sat next to me
"Do you have anything you would like to tell me?" I question her
"Nope, nothing mom" is all Katie replies with
"Really? Because I noticed some things, that we need to talk about" I told her
"Really? Like what momma" Katie said
"Like how you sat there at breakfast, playing with your fruit. Barely eatting your food." I told her
"Oh." Is all I got as a responce. Well this is turning out to be harder then I had imagined
"Please, babygirl. Open up to me. Tell me you aren't relasping." I told her
Nothing but silence...like so silent that you can hear a fucking pin drop in the room. UGH!!
"Alright, you can go" I said as I felt the tears start to prick my eyes.
As she was walking out she let out a barely audible "Sorry" before she walked completely out of the media room and going back into her room.
Well it's time to pull in the secret weapon...Maddie. I took my phone from my pocket and send her a text.
To MadMad
Its all up to you know, I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't open up. She is locking me out of what's going on in her mind. When can you come over Maddie, I need you and so does Katie?
A few minutes pass and I get a reply from her
From MadMad
I have nothing going on today. Can you come pick me up? Hopefully she opens up to me, I love her and I don't want anything to happen to my niece thats older then me.
To MadMad
Of course babygirl. Let me just tell Katie where I am going. I'll be there in 15 minutes.
From MadMad
Alright, see ya soon Dem. Love you
I walked upstairs to my room to grab my keys, on my way back downstairs I stopped at her door..which again was closed. I knocked against her door.
"Yea"? Was all I got from her
"Katie, I will be right back. I have to go pick up Maddie." I told her
Alright. Is all I got yet again.
*30 minutes later*
I just got back home from picking Maddie up, thank god the traffic was super lite because this is an extremely sticky situation.
Maddie's POV
I remember when Demi first told me about Katie's past. It was so hard for me to hear it all..I just wanted to cry, I have no idea how Katie does it. She is so strong...for the most part. She is still fighting the battle which is important that she does not give up. Then Demi told me about how she does not weight in her age group and she has scars on her wrist, I knew what Demi was getting at. She purges and cuts. Just like Demi did, I knew Demi wouldn't relapse but I was so worried about Katie, I knew this was not going to be easy on her.
Earlier today Demi called my mom panicing because she thinks that Katie is relapsing and falling into the bad habits again. I knew it made Demi feel like she was falling at being a mom, but she wasn't failing because she had been helping Katie fight the battle. But when Katie got as sick as she did, I think she lost the mind set to fight like she was. But I am no doctor so I don't know, however I know one thing and that is that I love my niece with all my heart, even if she is older then me and doesn't call me Auntie Maddie or Aunt Maddie, she will always be my niece and I will always love her.
After Demi called our mom panicing, I texted Demi to tell her that she needs to stay strong and reassure her that Katie loves her. I guess Demi tried talking to Katie and that didn't go so well, so Demi has called in her secret weapon aka ME!!!
Demi just picked me up not to long ago and we are just now pulling up to her house, as soon as she opened the door, I headed over to the stairs and walked up them straight to Katie's room.
I knocked on the door.
Yea? Katie replied
Katie, its Maddie. Can I come in? I asked
Uh...Sure Mad. Doors open you can come in. She replied
Hopefully she doesn't suspect anything. I walked in and she was laying on her bed in a pair of basketball shorts and a blue sleeveless under armor workout shirt with her guitar laying next to the bed. She was in the process of picking up her papers which were laying askew all over the bed.
Before I got the chance to sit down she tried walking away from the bed, heading towards the corner of her room, by her desk. I grabbed her waist and wrapped arm around her and pulled her back. She winced in my arms. Oh god no, please don't let it be this all over again. I thought to myself.
Once I got her back on the bed, I sat on the corner of the bed which was clean and came right out and said it: "So I heard you and Demi had a talk earlier that didn't go so well. Care to talk to me about it". I told her
"Why should I? It seems to me that you know everything that happened" She said to me bitterly
"See that is were you have it all wrong Katie, I know her side of what happened, I want to hear your side of what happened" I told her
"Nothing really happened, I didn't eat much of my breakfast and Demi questioned me about it. I wouldn't tell her what was going on in my head and before I left the room I mummbled out sorry and retreated back into my room." Katie told me with her voice cracking...great this meant I was getting somewhere.
Katie stopped talking so suddenly, it was like she didn't trust her voice. Just as suddenly as she stopped talking the water works started and tears were pouring from her eyes like the hover dam broke open.
I crawled over to her, on her bed and wrapped my arms around her and started rubbing her back. I had my phone and sent Demi a quick text.
To Dem
Broke through the walls, the water works are heavy but so far so good.
"Maddie they are so loud" She said
"Who is so loud, kiddo" I asked her knowing well what she was talking about but I needed her to open up more about it
"My demons Maddie, they just wont shut up. Ever since I got so sick, they came back and they were ten times stronger. They are so hard to ignore. I barely eat and when I eat alot I usually just purge it all up only keeping one meal down. i started to cut again, but on my hips so Demi wouldn't take notice."
"Shit this is going to tear Demi apart when I tell her all of this" I thought to myself.
"Katie is there anything else you want to get off of your chest?" I ask her
"I feel like such a failure of a daughter. Here I am...the daughter of Demi Lovato, the person who is my hero and my warrior, who inspired millions of people to start their recovery and I can't even recover myself. Demi is a warrior...what am I? I don't want to be the reason she releapses, I tried to hide it but that didn't work out. God I am such a failure as a daughter, She is gonna hate me." Is all she said before the water works began again.
"Katie, you of all people know that's not true. Demi loves you more then life itself." I told her
Soon Katie fell asleep in my arms and I laid down with her still in my arms before I sent Demi a text.
To Dem
You aren't going to like what I have to tell you, but she poured everything out to me, and I do mean everthing. She is asleep in my arms right now if you want to come up and join us.
It seems as if she was waiting by her phone because almost immediately I got a reply.
From Dem
Is it what I thought it was? And on my way...
To Dem
You and I will wake up earlier in the morning and talk about it.
Seconds later a out of breath Demi appered in her doorway. Well shit I thought to myself.
Shit Demi, what did you do...sprint here from the couch? I asked her sarcastically
"Actually I didn't sprint but yes I ran here, from the media room." She replied.
Demi finally walked fully into the room and over to the bed, stopping only to pick up Katie's guitar and place it in its proper
place.
Finally joining us on the bed she wrapped her arms around us and Katie seemed to sense it because she untagged herself from me and buried herself into Demi, she started to cry a little but more but was still asleep. Demi pulled me in a little closer and mouthed "Thank You", I mouthed back a simple "You're welcome". We ended up falling asleep like that, with my niece in between Me and My older Sister...cuddling all three of us.
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Ahh!! Chapter 18 is finally up! So sorry for the extremely long wait, you can blame my math class I am forced to take for college. It takes up all my free time to write during the day and I fry my brain learning the math. I tried to write on the train to and from downtown Chicago but that didn't work out at all. But yea good news it's done and up. Also I'm super sorry about the wait (but like I said you can all blame the math class I'm being forced to take, I hate math with a passion and I am really good in it when I would like to be) and I am super sorry that I went comma happy. Sorry for any mistakes I have made in this chapter...i wrote more than half of it on my phone.
I do have a few shoutouts to give out...
@j_graceffa ~Who is currently writing a beast fanfic about joey graceffa. I have to thank her because she is one of my best friends and even though we fight and annoy eachother, she is always there for me when I need her. I love her like my sister....I'm going to miss seeing her everyday in the fall.
@kiyamyboo ~For keeping me occupied and always giving me ideas. Also for being super sweet and super awesome. I feel like I know you even when I don't. You are awesome and yea.
@iLaura14 ~Who seriously made me smile a few days ago. I hope you like this update.
@ReapersAJM ~Beast writing, I read the fanfics all the time and they are simply amazing. so if you haven't already..go check em out.
@Broken_warrior143 ~Again some amazing writing. I also enjoy their fanfics. Check them out if you haven't already. Actually their Demi fanfic is simply awesome
@FragileLovatic1399 ~For doing an amazing job editing some of my chapters. Thank you so much.
@ablazedemi ~Awesome Demi Fanfics as well...go check them out.
@ForeverSwaggin ~Thank you for inspiring me to write a fanfic. I owe a lot to your words. Also an amazing Demi Fanfic Series
@DemisStar ~Thank you for your amazing chats with me. I wish I knew you in real life. I love your writing.
and last but not least
@NickNemiDemi ~Thank you for being my latest follower. I absoultly love the Forever Series you really know how to pull the emotional strings. Check their writing out..simply amazing.
And finally thank so much for the reads, votes, comments and messages. They simply make my day that much better when I notice you guys enjoying the book. I owe this entire fanfic to you guys and Demi for being who she is and inspiring each and every Lovatic in one way or another. I love you guys!!! I thinm its time to end this incredibly long authors note for now my little stars!!! ♡☆
Oh um....super fast
Spoiler alert: Names. Katie and Demi talk it all out and Katie comes up with and idea she thinks will help her always.