Louis' too tired to care now and easily let's Harry insert the plug snugly in place, keeping the stretch and Harry's come inside him. It was comforting to feel claimed and marked up in that way, so he smiled and climbed onto Harry's chest to sleep.
Harry had set an alarm for seven and woke up just before it could go off in blaring insanity. The news came on instead of an annoying ringtone on the digital clock, and he watched Louis' sleeping form in admiration as the reporter spoke.
The boy was still tucked into his side with a dainty palm on Harry's chest, looking so frail amongst the sea of black ink that Harry littered himself with. He took the hand in his fully capable own, while the bandaged left hand ran lines up and down Louis' side. The sensations were probably ticklish and made Louis squirm, a far from threatening frown forming on his face.
Harry moved to Louis' tummy where it smelt like disinfectant wipes and the pudge was perfectly formed. He traced the outline of it and when Louis shifted, hauled the boy onto his chest for safekeeping. He kissed Louis' forehead and telepathically sent his wishes for the boy to wake up to him.
Louis' body fitted into its ideal slot from Harry's body, and it was a settling thought to have that maybe - by some divine providence - people were actually made for each other in a physical sense.
"Darling?" Harry sneakily felt around for the plug and when he found it, he applied pressure to the base.
Louis grumbled something incoherent that sounded like 'Leave me be.', but it didn't mar Harry's intentions. He felt Louis' foot tuck itself between his thighs and his chest lie flush against Harry's as he sighed contentedly.
"I'm gonna make us breakfast. You can shower first, okay?" Harry slid Louis off him and it felt like detaching himself from the warmth of the world.
Nonetheless, Louis obeyed and started to wake up. He knows that he's potentially the worst he's been in terms of soreness, every step meant a wince and biting his lip because of the delicious burn between his legs. He's grown complacent since meeting Harry, feeling like he now had the man to look after him so there was no need for early rising and a strict regimen for himself. He liked - loved - feeling small and cared for because that world was safe and made him happy all the time. Most of the time.
Harry leaves the bedroom in the general direction of the kitchen and Louis pads into the joined bathroom, all yawns and hunger demands from Bean. After a refreshing shower he dresses in the clothes he'll use for uni from the bags Harry brought.
In a printed T-shirt he liked not because Lil Wayne used it in a skimpy music video but because the alien caption had amused him, a pair of blue jeggings that hugged all his feminine curves in just the right places and black secret socks, Louis strides into the living room.
He almost trips on something that he doesn't remember being there and gasps when he looks under his shoeless foot.
"What's Bolg doing here?" Louis asks, watching the creature crawling towards the lounge carpet that's thick and red.
"I thought you'd appreciate the sentiment." Harry greets him with a longer kiss than necessary when Louis comes to sit on the opposite side of the breakfast counter.
There were waffles already on a plate and two tall glasses of orange juice. Louis gives up drooling over the food to ogle Harry instead, the man with as a gorgeous vision from the merciful Gods above. He knows Harry would scoff at that and say he came from the pits of Hell instead.
"I am gratefully." Louis beams. "Is Bundy here too?"
"He's in the studio still. Probably just didn't leave his cage." Harry shrugs, turning back to the stove. "C'mere, darling."
Louis takes two steps around the solid counter, he approaches Harry with quizzicial eyebrows. He's smirking suspiciously when Harry cups the side of his face and leans down to share in a languid kiss. Louis' fingers fan out on his bicep and he lifts his weight onto his tiptoes.
"Shoes?" Harry doesn't like Louis moving around in just socks that are so thin.
"Don't wanna wear 'em now." Louis' pouting at Harry's prominent Adam's Apple.
"That's fine but don't let the cold affect Bean, okay?" Harry kisses his lips and temple leisurely. "Eat, while I shower."
"Alone?" Louis turns to look at Harry's hesitantly retreating figure.
"I won't be long. Eat, love."
With the huff of a fussy child, Louis begins to stab a fluffy waffle and has a fair dosage of maple syrup with some berries. Morning sickness hasn't started so Louis has a while to enjoy being around food variations. After the over sweet taste of waffles, Louis takes some scrambled eggs from the heated frying pan with half a sausage.
He turns around and nearly knocks himself over in shock.
"Harry!" Louis clutches his chest and the fork-speared sausage in his hands.
Harry's dressed from the waist down, but putting his tattoos and marks on display for now. He's smirking at Louis as if surprising the boy nearly into cardiac arrest is amusing.
"Not funny." Louis mutters, poking Harry's chest. "Mean."
"Sorry, princess." Harry takes Louis' hand with the fork and bites a chunk out of the sausage.
"Where'd you come from?"
Harry sips his orange juice as he manoeuvres around Louis to set a tiny tube of something orange into the extravagant coffee maker. "Mother's womb."
Louis rolls his eyes, turning back to appreciate his plate of food - and a quarter of a sausage since he started out with half - when Harry seizes his waist. Without breaking the intense staring they're a part of, Harry slips his hand into Louis' trousers at the back and feels the plug still there.
"Such a good boy." Harry smirks proudly, flashing his perfect teeth and lust flickering in his dark eyes.
"I cleaned myself." Louis erases that smirk quicker than developing it.
"You did?"
Louis nods hesitantly, looking away from Harry's gaze to where Bolg has reached the carpet.
"Let's rectify that situation then." Harry picks Louis up off the ground and glances at the clock. They have plenty of time.
Giggling and tightening his weaker arms around Harry's neck, Louis turns his neck to look over his shoulder at where they're going. The small table that serves as a reservoir for mailed letters and sometimes a dining room table on the opposite end of the room, it seems. Louis' interest gets more curious.
Harry sets him on his feet and goes for the button on his jeans, popping it deftly before working the tight zip. He frowns at this because tight zips meant constriction for their Bean.
"No more tight clothing." Harry pushes the pants down and drapes it over a chair back. "Bean could be uncomfortable."
Louis cooes at the thought of their unborn, undeveloped little Bean. Not long after, Harry picks him up by under his arms to seat him on the solid table.
"So pretty." Harry kisses Louis' neck in a wet trail, clasping the backs of the boy's knees to tighten around his waist. "Lean back, baby."
Leaning all his weight on his elbows, Louis watches Harry sit down on a chair between his legs. "All yours, Daddy."
Harry's eyes meet Louis' in a fleeting moment where they exchange something silent and shy, before the man is back to massaging the inside of Louis' thighs and spreading his legs. He props Louis' feet up on the edge of the table with bent knees raised in the air.
"Aw." Harry peppers feather light pecks with damp lips over the 'HARRY' engraving. "Are you sore, darling?"
Suddenly Harry's waking up and bending at an uncomfortable angle to kiss Louis swiftly. "Don't move."
Louis doesn't ask questions. He never does. He just lays there, sprawled out on the bloody dining room table watching Bolg weave through tall strands of synthetic wool. He's breathing heavily and his underwear has gotten excessively tight so he chucks the article of clothing aside.
Click.
In a haste, Louis covers himself with his shirt and sits up to see what made that noise.
"What are you doing?" Louis relaxes when he sees Harry. Harry with a camera.
"Documenting." Harry shrugs and comes back to his rightful seat with the Durex lube. "Lie back."
Louis nods and falls slowly, his back sticking to the table's surface where his shirt rode up from all his squirming. Harry grabs the base of the plug and slowly extracts it; sitting gave him the ultimate view of how Louis' body repeatedly clenched around the toy. It released completely with a soft popping sound that made Harry bite his lip.
"You look sore." Harry's so very smug about it, his agile fingers pressing at all the right places.
His eyes feast on the fragile state that Louis is in, all flushed and glistening pink. Louis' still stretched and the tight muscle flutters, gripping repeatedly to nothing but air and makes Harry salivate. His own pants tighten until the outline of his bulge is recognisable. He knew there was no serious pain, and that Louis enjoyed the tenderness of feeling absolutely wrecked.
"You're so beautiful." Harry kisses Louis' tummy on the pudge, down to his muscular thighs and plants one right over Louis' hole.
Small fingers tighten in his hair and the musical sound of Louis' broken moans in several pitches, fill the flat. Harry parts his lips, still pressed to the sweet smelling skin, and plunges his tongue into Louis. There's not much resistance and he can feel the squeeze of Louis' walls closing around him. He seals his mouth around the intrusion and forms a strong suction with all the power of his exercised lungs.
Louis' vision begins to dim and black spots are forming to represent the pleasure flowing so openly through his willing body. He pauses between tugging on Harry's hair and scratching his own thigh to scream. His body picks up every movement of Harry's now that he's pressed to close in such an intimate place. He feels Harry's groans and his smile, each one sending sinful vibrations up Louis' back causing it to arch.
When Harry removes Louis' hands from his hair and releases his legs, Louis whines and tries to gather that lost energetic attention again. He attempts to keep Harry between his legs because the man had a tongue of sin and lust, and Louis' greedy for it.
"Lou, baby." Harry chuckles like Louis' not a whimpering mess on his dining table. "I'm going to fill you up with something better, okay?"
The confession catches Louis' attention and he becomes obedient once again, anticipating the moment Harry stopped taking so long. He even spread his legs equally apart to attract the man's longing attention.
Harry unzips his fly and releases his throbbing erection that's hardened to its true length, showing off his size as he pressed the head against Louis' rim. It was a stretch and the healing of last night had to be stopped in order for him to fit.
Louis locks his ankles around Harry's back and pulls him in, arching off the sticky table when Harry bottoms out. Their hips meet in the best possible way and Louis' blinded from sanity with the amazing burn of feeling so full. Harry keeps his left forearm pressed against the table and the right creates finger-shaped bruises for Louis to remember him by.
"Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?" Harry puts his left hand on Louis' tummy.
"I don't." Louis blinks away his fuzzy state of mine. "Want you."
"I know, darling. But Bean can't be uncomfortable."
Louis agrees so he nods and blushes when he gets pulled up into a sitting position. Harry forces Louis' thighs to be hitched on his thighs and starts to thrust shallowly in and out.
Click.
"Damn camera." Louis gasps at the loud snap and bright flash.
"Shh." Harry picks his thighs off the table and begins to fuck deeper, burying his face in Louis' neck at the overwhelming silky heat that's enveloping him.
"Love you." Louis hasn't said it as yet and can't have them forgetting.
Harry grunts into Louis' neck and takes some of the already branded skin between his teeth. "Love you."
Louis knows this won't be their last time doing something so naughty on a surface like this, so he finishes quicker than usual. Harry releases into him after feeling the tightness strengthen around him, and inserts the plug to take his place - to a lesser standard - in record time.
"Tired?" Harry smiles at Louis' swaying form.
Louis nods, eyes half-lidded and hair disarrayed. "Little bit."
"Think you'll survive the day long enough to come with me to a doctor's appointment?"
"What appointment?" Louis pulls up his pants and tries not to flinch as how sensitive he is now that he has clothes on, rubbing against his skin.
"We need to know more about Bean." Harry answers, taking Louis' hand and leading him back to the kitchen after a thorough clean-up. "I made an appointment with a Dr. Cole for twelve today since we both have an hour break at that time."
Louis nods in understanding, only slightly disorientated now from previous heated escapades. He suddenly remembers the Seattle trip and how Harry ignored his wishes by paying for him.
"When's the Seattle thingie?" He asks, nibbling on another waffle with eggs. He really wants a sausage now that Harry's already bitten his.
"February third." Harry responds, sliding smoothly onto a tall stool and heaving Louis onto his lap. "Why do you ask?"
"That's a few days away." There are eight days to be exact. Louis feeds himself more egg, craving meat.
"Don't stress about that." Harry kisses his temple. "We won't even go if the doctor says we can't."
"I want to go."
"I'll take you after Bean's born if you really want to."
Harry has nothing to lean against so he mainly leaned on Louis with as little weight as possible. He set the camera to take three consecutive photos every minute, so it goes off once again - on the kitchen counter this time - and captures their moment. Harry's legs overflow and Louis' don't touch the ground, Harry's body completely shields Louis' and hides him from the world.
"What time's your first lecture?" Harry asks, his injured and freshly bandaged hand rubbing Louis' tummy in an old-fashioned, possessive way.
Louis grabs his phone from the charger and checks his schedule. "Quarter to nine."
Harry hums in acknowledgement. "I've been thinking about changing my course."
"Oh? Why?" Louis notices how Harry left his own sausage untouched on his plate, and decides that it's now his.
"I don't like what I'm doing now." Harry shrugs.
"You love photography."
"No, I mean that at first I took so many subjects just so I could find you but I don't like sacrificing that much time dealing with all of them."
"So what do you want to change to?"
"I'll drop everything and take one major course."
"Major? You need lots of credit for a major course."
"I have that." Harry nuzzles Louis' neck and admires how perfectly shaped it is, with no knots and stiff muscles. "I was a straight A-plus student and I have extra credit for the admission."
The coffee machine is done preparing Harry's expensive coffee and beeps with a flickering green light on the lid. Louis collects the blank mug from under the nozzle and hands it to Harry.
"What major course were you thinking of?" Louis finishes up his food and watches Harry take the first sip of the scalding beverage. "And isn't that hot?"
Harry sets the mug down, filling the air with a wonderful coffee bean aroma. "Yes it probably was but, I couldn't feel it."
"You could hurt yourself!" Louis bats Harry's hands away from the mug and stirs the black drink with a spoon.
"Medicine." Harry answers Louis' question. "Anesthesiology, to be specific."
That's a shock. It's a surprise to Louis and he almost stops stirring the coffee. "That's a lot of work if you're starting now."
"Saying I'm too old?" Harry laughs.
"I'm saying it's a lot of work for anyone. I remember those requirements clearly."
"Twelve years of study. Four years doing a pre-requisite college course with Bachelor of Science. Four years getting a medical degree at med school and another four years for a residency."
Louis knows Harry did his research thoroughly if he's looking into actually altering his course officially. It's just a drastic change and although he has full faith in Harry's capabilities, he knows those courses are hands-on and notoriously well-known for their time-consuming nature.
"If you're sure-" Louis smiles. "-then I'll support you."
Harry's shaking his head and watching over Louis' shoulder as steam comes out of the coffee being carefully stirred. "You know I'm joking, Lou."
"Hmm?"
Harry's wild cackle makes Louis fidget and blush. "Lou, studying medicine would take all my time. Take me away from you and Bean. I don't want that."
"Oh. Your jokes are awful, Haz." Louis lifts the mug to his lips to do a test but Harry takes it away before he can. "Hey."
"No caffeine for you. It's not good for Bean."
* * * * *
"Lou!"
Niall is jogging across the parking lot towards said person, who is being held around the waist by Harry and having kisses demanded from.
"Kiss me." Harry brings his lips very close to Louis' again.
"Niall's here." Louis turns away with a cheeky smile and greets his best friend. "Morning, Niall."
"I thought you weren't coming today." Niall eyes Harry's stance but moves on quickly.
"I'd miss you too much, Ni." Louis knows Niall can't see that Harry's whispering about kisses in his ear whilst nibbling on his ear lobe, so it's his duty to guard that blissful ignorance.
"Clearly." Niall knows. There's no way he doesn't know since Harry's being so indiscreet about it. "Also, I have an invite for you."
"Invite?"
"Yeah for our entire dorm. There's a party at Beau's brother's dorm and we're invited."
Louis nods, hands pushing futilely at Harry's shoulders. The man is a human boulder.
"I'll let you know." Louis doesn't like parties. It's too loud, too bright and too drunk. He has Bean to worry about nowadays.
"See you in class?"
Louis sends Niall the saddest, most apologetic look he can manage with Harry crushing him. Niall laughs as if it's hilarious and runs off with a pathetic wave.
"Why must you go?" Harry's kissing all the visible marks of claim he made under Louis' turtle neck - the boy had to change after he took one look at his reflection.
"I have class now." Louis brings Harry's head away from his neck. "So do you."
"Kiss?"
Louis presses their lips together, simultaneously moving Harry's hands away from his back. He is careful with the bandage, but Harry wore an extra long-sleeved shirt to hide it already.
"Have a good day, baby." Harry kisses Louis' nose.
"Ditto. Learn something artful for me."
* * * * *
Niall's been making loud kissing noises for the past ten minutes.
"Niall!" Louis whisper-shouts at his friend. There's a row of them now, all Louis' dorm mates who are partaking in the public humiliation scheme.
"Lou-Lou?" Niall blinks innocently and if it weren't for those eyes of his, Louis would have managed to stay angry.
"You're a menace."
"I didn't take you for an exhibitionist, Lou." Beau says, making Louis turn tomato red and want to melt into his chair.
"Shh!" Niall throws a pencil at the boy. "People are looking."
Indeed people were looking and Louis has a new death wish for his dorm brothers, but he rubs his tummy and feels better. Bean always makes him better, being such a soothing presence as a constant companion.
After that horrific lecture, Louis now has eight assessments to complete before the Seattle trip. Only four are complete. Harry sat in three of his lectures, and received one spectacular project that's going to carry a chunk of their final grade.
"Does anyone know about the Arts on Main fair?" His female lecturer asks the class as they sat in front of canvases at different stations.
Harry didn't, so he kept quiet. It's become harder for him to not glower at everyone for just being there with their glorious Wednesday morning smiles and exposed throats. He wants to cut it all, like a man with a sickle but no power. Louis' not here to cuddle with him and giggle and tell him that he'll be bloody fine.
"Lazy, all of you." She shook her head and laughed. "The fair is one of the cities' biggest ones. There's an open market where the students from the culinary classes will prepare food, then there's the art. This year they'll showcase your work."
There's a rise of approving noises and excited peeps. Harry Googles the Arts on Main fair on his phone. It's a good distraction from staring at the way his lecturer's spot of skin on her clavicle beats with her pulse.
He let's his mind wander - no harm in that - to what could cause something like that. Cutting the skin would tell him for sure.
"Unfortunately there are only five galleries available so when you give me those projects I asked for last week, I will choose five of you. You'll be given a space and asked to fill it with your original work before August."
It sounded interesting and Harry would have photography plus drawn, painted and sketched art to put up. He misses having Louis' body to caress and calm himself down so much.
"That will carry sixty percent of your final mark. Not this year but at the end of your three years. I'll give the selected five the criteria and rubric later."
There's a knock on the door and everyone turns to look at the keeper of the Biology lab - where the student body kept their live animals for research - stands there in her knitted skirt sheepishly. Harry goes back to his phone after one look at her.
"Sorry to disturb you, Lizzy." She says first. "The lock of the bio-lab won't open and I need one of your students to help out if they can please."
"Oh of course." Harry's professor is so polite. "Harry?"
He hates her, and makes sure the glare he sends her way conveys that message. He doesn't let anyone volunteer him because he'll go if he damn well pleases on his own. Fuck her piety.
"Would you mind?" The intruder asks.
Everyone's looking at him. Anticipating. Waiting. Bored. His hyper-sensitive nose can smell sweat and flavoured gum being smacked between someone's molars probably. He thinks about Louis and how mad he'll be if Harry was outwardly rude. They're trying to work past that together now.
Without a word to anyone, he wakes up and walks out ahead of the intruding teacher. He takes the keys from her hand and ignores her completely. He's doing them a favour but he won't be pleasant at the same time.
"Are you always this grumpy?" She questions as if she's fucking allowed to.
Harry slides the key into the padlock, already able to hear the skittering noises of tiny creatures. Tiny and vulnerable creatures. Harry wants to hold them. Tightly.
"Thanks, Harry." She says gratefully after Harry yanked the stubborn lock with his right, uninjured hand and it sprung free.
He left her keys attached to the lock and walked off.
By the time twelve o'clock comes around, Louis hasn't seen Harry all day but waits beside the Dodge anyway. He planned his day mentally whilst he sat on the nearest bench.
He needed to cancel dance lessons - adding forever to that sentence was depressing - and visit the gym's pregnancy-friendly zone while Harry worked out. He felt like watching Grease tonight but first he'd complete one entire assessment.
After ten minutes Louis saw Harry storming out of the Fine Arts building, walking in his direction like he knew where Louis was without looking up. Louis stands, and barely has time to put his satchel back on his shoulder before Harry's right in front of him, broad and intimidating.
"Kiss me." Is all he says before his lips are slotted into place with Louis'.
Louis almost stumbles backward from the surprise, but Harry has him around the middle. His calloused hand draws calming circles on Louis' pudge under his shirt and he bites the boy's bottom lip.
"What's wrong?" Louis wasn't naïve enough to think that Harry reacted that way just because he wanted to. He knew better than that.
"I feel like I've taken a celibacy oath." Harry grits and maybe it sounded funny but no one's meant to laugh, the pained look in Harry's eye was no joke.
"If you did, then you've broken it at least twice so far."
Harry's smirk lessens the worry in his eye. "It'll be three, maybe four by tomorrow morning."
"Wishful thinking." Louis giggles and Harry's chest loosens up a little. "Tell me your troubles now."
"It's hard, Lou." Harry exhales through clenched teeth. "It's so difficult."
"What is?"
Harry's not ashamed to say it, even if they are in public. The world is such that the passer-by's will just think him to be a lunatic stuck in his prime dimension before moving on to family dinners.
"To look at them. To know that everyone's.....out of my reach." He doesn't know how to explain it to someone who understands but can't empathise.
"You never felt this way before, Harry. Even when you weren't doing anything but could."
"That's because I knew that I could. Now, there's a.....a fucking restriction and when you're not around it's impossible to look away."
Louis sighs, feeling a burst of regret coming on but he couldn't back down on this. If he did, it'll ruin the future of their baby and he'd rather die than let that happen.
"I'm sorry, Haz." Louis has to tilt his head upwards to look into Harry's eyes that are tinted over in black and so uncertain. "I can't relate to you but I know it must suck to go through that."
At least Louis wasn't pretending to get everything Harry's saying. He appreciated that he wasn't pulling the old 'put yourself in my shoes' technique that every therapist tried.
"I'll do anything to help you, Haz. You know that." Louis smiles but it's a nervous one that ends with a twitch.
"Love you."
"I love you too, Harry."
The thing is, love doesn't take away pain. The figurative pain that hurt Harry worse than any physical pain could. Instead, love masked the pain and made it better for a short time: but when that time was up and something wasn't there to block it, it would erupt in his face.
It's for those reasons that Harry smoked two cigarettes on the way to the doctor's appointment. Louis said nothing.
Dr. Cole's office was in a private building in the middle of the city, next to the most expensive square block in Chicago. Harry parked in the underground parking and held Louis' door open for him. His princess is still the only person he'd use his gentleman manners on.
"Ready?" He held Louis' hand and kissed his knuckles because the scent calmed him and their purpose here, even more so.
"Not really." Louis was guarded in his responses but he tried distracting Harry as often as he could.
"No?"
"I'm excited but-" Louis wrings his fingers tightly together nervously. "-maybe it was just a glitch the first time?"
With an amused smirk directed at Louis' paranoia, Harry flinches without feeling pain but noticing the swelling in his wrist. It's nearly purple and bloated.
"A glitch? Is that possible?" Harry hides his hand behind Louis' back when the nurse summons them.
Louis and Harry are directed down a short hallways that smells of clinical alcohol and baby wipes, before a door with Dr. Cole's name on it is opened for them. Inside they are greeted by a friendly-looking doctor in light blue scrubs with a spotless white coat over it. His full head of brown hair and carefree smile sets Louis' anxiety at ease but just fires up Harry's.
"Mr. Tomlinson." Dr. Cole stretches his arm out.
"Louis." His response is polite and topped off with a smile.
"Mr. Styles." Dr. Cole smiles all the same at Harry, who just nods stiffly after a firm handshake and sits down next to Louis.
The office is spacious and very elegant, Harry notices. There are many crystal figurines on the edge of Dr. Cole's large table in different colours.
"They're good feng shui." The doctor notices Harry staring at the mini ornaments.
"They're beautiful." Louis compliments.
"Thank you, Louis. Now-" The doctor seats himself opposite them with his hands folded. "-you're here because I've only dealt with male pregnancies and you want the best for your baby. Do you have any questions?"
They didn't really, not yet so Louis shakes his head for the both of them.
"We're going to do a scan and maybe we'll see something because male pregnancies work faster in the first trimester but the heartbeat can only be heard four or six weeks in."
Louis lies on the stiff rubbery bed and lifts his shirt, Harry standing supportively by his side and clasping his hand. The cold gel is spread and Louis watches how intently Harry's following Dr. Cole's actions as if trying memorise them for later.
"Do I smell cigarette smoke?" Cole's questioning gaze, laced with disapproval, moves between Louis and Harry. "Mr. Styles?"
Harry wasn't going to answer and Louis knew that, so he said something before the awkward silence grew tangible. "He smokes regularly."
"Well, we can't be doing that around Louis. This little baby could be born with a disability or incurable condition if he or she is constantly exposed to environments like that."
Fucking great, Harry thinks to himself but his eyes were always the most expressive part of him and Louis notices the hot irritation.
"There we are." Dr. Cole has the wand pressed to Louis' slightly lower tummy. "One little baby."
Harry can see perfectly and the corner of his mouth lifts in a purely joyful twitch when he observes the faint wriggling of a bean that will grow into half Louis, half himself. It's way past miraculous and extraordinary now.
"Can we have a moment please?" Louis asks the gynaecologist and receives a nod in answer. "Haz?"
Harry looks up from the monitor where he's willing Bean to move a little more and notices that they're alone. "Hmm?"
"You okay?" Louis reaches up and caresses the side of Harry's face.
"Yeah." Harry breathes, cupping Louis' hand with his and leaning into the warm touch. "That's Bean."
"That is."
Louis sat up straighter and wiped the gel off his stomach with complimentary tissues. He takes note of Harry's tension and remembers the first ultra sound as a regrettable experience.
"Harry, if you.....-" Louis doesn't know how to say it, how to draw Harry out of miserable bubble he's isolated himself in.
"If I what?" Harry seems to grope at the attention.
"You don't have to....stay with me. There's no-"
"Obligation?"
Louis nods, taking back his hand feeling a little relieved and a lot worried.
"Lou, we've discussed this already." Harry quickly covers Louis' front with his shirt and brings their bodies closer. "I love being here. I don't feel obligated because there's nothing I want more."
"I'm sorry, you're just....not with me."
"I know, I was distracted but I'm here now. I promise."
"Thank you." Louis presses the cold tip of his nose to Harry's neck. "Can you call Dr. Cole back please?"
When Harry promised to be mentally present for the rest of the appointment, he meant it. He answered every question directed at him and when there were none he read the many pamphlets given to him by Dr. Cole. They got digital photos of Bean and had to pay a much higher fee to have the digital Blackberry photo displayer with it. It was magical and Harry liked that it was a moving image of their baby, maybe repetitive and not a live feed, but Louis lit up everytime he glanced at it.
They asked about air travel for the Seattle trip and were assured that it would be okay, as long as Louis took the pills now prescribed to him and ate on the flight.
The other bits of information Harry commits to memory and makes a reminder to check on the food they have. He wasn't going to keep any unhealthy groceries beyond what they really wanted.
"Your wrist." Dr. Cole nods in Harry's direction. "Lost a finger?"
Harry's about to growl and tell him to fuck off because that wasn't his business, but the good doctor continues.
"It shouldn't be swelling if it's healed enough to be out of a brace."
Louis makes a confused face as he rises to his feet. "They didn't give Harry a brace."
"They didn't? Well that's extreme negligence." Dr. Cole shakes his head in a disgusted manner. "This building houses many specialists' offices, let me call my friend to come check it out please. She's the best radiologist and will take care of you in no time."
It's Louis' insisting expression, that's dripping with defined concern and worry that gets Harry to sit back down.
"I'm fine." Harry whispers to Louis while Cole's on the phone with his friend.
"It's swelling, Harry." Louis chews his bottom lip. "I can't believe I didn't notice."
"I wouldn't let you."
"Why?" Louis looks positively outraged.
"Didn't need you to worry. It's nothing fatal, princess."
"You can't know that, Hazza."
The other friendly doctor comes in - apparently on her lunch break - with bright amber eyes and dazzling teeth. She introduces herself as Dr. Hepburn and goes on to examine Harry's hand very delicately while Louis hugs himself and chews his thumb nail.
"Does it hurt?" She asks strictly.
"I don't know." Harry answers.
"Meaning?"
"Congenital analgesia, I have it."
The look on her face melts into something more reverential but cautious. "Really? That's a rare condition."
Harry doesn't say anything as she removes the bandage and opens the well-equipped briefcase that accompanied her up three elevator levels. He pulls out an iPad and a cylindrical scanner while Louis comes to Harry's side, fitting in effortlessly with Harry's healthy arm encircling his waist.
"There's no fracture." Hepburn informs them. "But I brought this for you anyway. You must wear it no matter how much it bothers you, okay?"
"What's the purpose of this?" Harry eyes the brace in her hand.
"We need to keep as much blood as possible flowing correctly. Your finger has open nerves and won't stop bleeding if you keep using it as if it's normal. Wear this and it will make the healing easier."
"How long does he have to wear it for?" Louis enquires as the newer professional wraps Harry's hand from finger stub to wrist again in a blue bandage.
"You need a family doctor to record this and tell you but if you want, you can come back to me in a month."
Harry doesn't trust doctors, especially now that he's been robbed of a proper first few recovery days but agrees with her anyway.
"I'll start a file. Here are some forms I need you to fill these in-" Dr. Hepburn hands Louis a thick envelope. "-and get them back to me, okay?"
"Alright, we will." Louis plasters his public-polite smile as he accepts the offering. "Thank you."
Harry has a wrist brace made of structured metal over a hard, stiff bandage dressing. He has to wear an arm sling that kept his hand angular and able to heal without any physical exertion. The brace was new and the bandage had powder in its fibres that were beginning to itch, and Harry was fucking angry about it all.
They were quiet on the way back to their campus, with Louis in the driver's seat. Louis could sense Harry's tension and Harry was numb to everything not concerning him. He never should have gotten out of bed.
The professors didn't care that they pitched up almost half an hour late and had to ask the person next to them what had happened thus far.
Louis went through the rest of his day without any obstacles, and when it came time for his class with Harry he was excited. It's been nearly five hours since he kissed Harry at the Dodge when they got back from the appointments and maybe it was over-active pregnancy hormones, but he really missed Bean's father.
Except when Harry walked into the class he immediately took a seat at the front, despite Louis having kept a spot for him as he always did.
Louis knows he did something wrong, and he doesn't know what to do. Maybe that freak comment was still alive, or maybe Harry changed his mind. Men can do that.
After the lecture ended, Louis expected Harry to get up and leave without a word. He even planned to ask Niall for cash so he could take a cab, or maybe he'll stay in the dorm again. Instead, Harry waited dutifully by the door and Louis took longer than necessary packing up because of slight pinches in his tummy.
"Jesus, Bean." Louis mutters under his breath, supporting himself on the table after bending over.
"Lou?" The voice Louis' been missing so much to mend his wounded heart is right next to him, whispering in his ear.
"I'm fine." It's ruder than he intended it to be.
A big hand is moving his away from his tummy and taking its place. Harry picks Louis up to his full height and kisses his forehead.
"I'm sorry." Harry tells him softly, lips pressed to Louis' temple.
"Why didn't you come sit with me?" Louis closes his eyes and leans into Harry, tilted to the right because he doesn't want to further aggravate the bandaged half.
"I don't know." Feeling guilty, Harry wraps an arm around Louis' back and presses their bodies into a perfect fit. "I was so angry earlier and I just didn't think."
"I missed you."
"I love you, princess." Harry leans in closer to kiss Louis' lips and feel the negative feelings from today just flow off him. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
There's no opportunity to reply because Harry shamelessly forces his tongue into Louis' mouth and squeezes his bum through his jeans. He wishes he could use both hands but even now he can feel the plug Louis' been keeping inside him all day.
"Let's go home." Harry says, picking Louis' bag up.
He wants to pick Louis up but due to obvious circumstances he can't. There's no better experience than holding Louis really close and feeling Bean's baby pudge against him. Even though it's another infuriating thing for Harry, he just let's himself be taken with his princess.
"Aren't we going to gym?" His princess asks, climbing into the car.
"We have an hour or so before we have to." Harry gets into the driver's seat and prepares himself to drive with one hand.
"Harry, I can drive."
"It's okay."
Louis leans back in his seat and closes his eyes as the scenery starts to blur around him. As he contemplates the body of a presentation he has to do based on one theme and six literature pieces, Harry turns the radio on. The latest news report distracts Louis for a short while.
"Police haven't made any comment yet but it seems the bodies were forced into wine barrels-
Harry turns it off right after he listens to that, and Louis watches his knuckles turn page white on the steering wheel.
"Was that-"
"Not now." Harry snaps then sighs. "Sorry, baby."
"It's okay."
Louis understands. He tries to get better at it everyday for Harry and Bean's sake. He knows that Harry wants to get away from a terrible past and he wants to help in every way possible.
"Are you hungry?" Harry parks in the private garage next to the only elevator in the lot.
Louis shakes his head and yawns, making a cute tired noise at the end. Harry caves when he opens Louis' door and stops Louis from jumping down.
"Wrap your legs around me." He instructs, all business-like because he can't afford to mess this up.
"I can walk, Hazza." Louis giggles and the light in his eyes are magnetic.
"I don't want you to."
"Your arm is hurt."
"But I love you more."
Harry doesn't get to carry Louis upstairs in the end, because Louis hopped down and avoided Harry's arms that were constantly gravitating towards him. Once inside the apartment - Louis wasn't sure if it's theirs but he doesn't want to think that because his name is nowhere on the lease - Harry takes their stuff to the studio while Louis changes.
The floor-length mirror in the walk-in closet never really came in handy, but Louis couldn't stop looking at his stomach with it. He pushed it out a little and pulled up his shirt to expose his skin, make it look more real. Harry walked in looking for his pregnant princess who was easily deterred from any path, and leaned against the doorway silently to watch.
"We'll get there." He said through the silence.
Louis, as always, knew Harry was there the whole time because his body had easily latched onto a sixth sense that constantly alerted him of Harry's nearby presence.
"I know." He settles against Harry's chest when the man winds his arms around his body from behind.
"I'm impatient too." Harry sets his perfect chin on Louis' shoulder.
"You are?"
"As a father, I want to meet my baby as soon as I can." Harry's hand spans out across Louis' flat tummy. "Let's go out tonight."
"No." Louis' quick in his response and breaks into a soft giggle after.
"No?"
"No." Louis repeats.
"Why not?"
"Because we have gym until six."
"We can be back by nine."
"What do you have in mind?"
Harry didn't tell him, but promised Louis a good enough surprise. All through Louis' training session with a personal guide at the gym - employed for those like Louis who can't do the basics anymore because of pregnancy - he tried to crack the riddle. Bridget was not there and Louis found that he actually missed her company. He took swimming lessons and those were quite interesting because Louis particularly enjoyed the coming night casting such beautiful shadows in the heated pool.
He showered more thoroughly than the first time because they aren't going home right after, washing his hair and scrubbing himself. He thought about putting the plug back into him after having removed it for the gym session, but the tender nature of his sore behind left him against it.
Harry had another twenty or so minutes left to work out, so after being allowed a brief moment to greet Louis with a peck on the lips he went back to work. Louis sat cross-legged on the table against the wall and read very softly to Bean and himself. Today's choice was The Book Thief.
When Harry finished showering he looked like a dirty vision. The sweat droplets were replaced by water and his body gel left a trail of scent everywhere he walked. His hair was wet and sticking to the sides of his face and neck.
"How do you train?" Louis asks, because Harry couldn't have been doing proper boxing with a stiff arm.
"I had to work with one arm and a punching bag." Harry answers. "Treadmills and weights."
Nodding, Louis stood to help Harry back into his brace and bandages. He couldn't use them when he worked out because the risk of damage was great.
"They told me I shouldn't come back until my hand is healed." Harry continues. "I could hurt it even more."
"Then you should listen to them, love."
"That is forfeiture."
"No, you caveman." Louis wiggles to the side so his body puts no pressure on Harry's arm sling. "It's accepting some excellent advice."
"I'll listen to you since you agree, but not anyone else."
"Biased." Louis turns his head to the side to kiss Harry's piece of art jawline, nudging at his warm neck with a cold nose.
"I prefer to call it in love with."
"You're biased and in love."
"I'm crazy and in love."
Harry's date idea was last minute and nothing spectacular, but Louis loved it from the moment Harry opened his car door.
"You brought me to the cinema complex?" Louis let's Harry clasp his hand for warmth against the cold and undying chill that travelled with Chicago's wind.
"I still owe you that movie." Harry brought Louis around to his right side and threw an arm delicately over his small but proportionate shoulders.
"I forgot about that." Louis admits, feeling the cold breeze whip through his damp hair and making him sneeze.
"Lou." Harry sighs with a disappointed tone. "Did you dry your hair?"
"You didn't."
"I have a strong immune system."
"So do I."
With an unamused frown, Harry leads Louis into the building with a quick pace. It's warm inside with carpeted floors and lots of people waiting in queues. Harry pushes Louis against a nearby wall and blocks all his escape routes.
"I'm fine, Hazza." Louis whines when Harry starts running his fingers through his hair.
"You'll get sick." Harry curts, in no mood to banter with Louis.
"Then you'll take care of me."
"I obviously will but why would I when we can easily avoid all that? Plus, Bean will get sick too and we don't want that, do we?"
"No." Louis' pout is the most beautiful thing to land on this Earth and Harry will attest to that.
"Let's go." Harry figures he can't do much now that they're already in public with no resources. "Wait here."
Louis stands obediently by the main entrance for Harry to return. A cleaner from the bathrooms notices him standing alone.
"Waiting for someone, are we?" The aged man is golden haired and brown-eyed. He's hunched over and using his mop as a support stick.
Smiling very politely but showing his discomfort by stepping away, Louis answers. "Y-Yeah."
"You're a shy fellow." The stranger observes. "What's your girlfriend think?"
"She doesn't exist but I do." Louis' fear and discomfort fades into something warm and fuzzy instantly. "Get the fuck away from him."
It's uncalled for and Harry's words are very harsh but Louis needs to keep Bean safe and you can never judge a person - old or young - by their looks. The janitor moves away and the few close people who overheard turn back to their groups, while Harry comes back to stand as a tower over Louis.
I leave you for two minutes and the perverts pile up at your feet." Harry smirks in a lopsided manner that lights up a dull room.
"That's mean." Louis accepts the heavy jacket being put on him.
"It was effective."
"Thank you for saving me from a seventy year-old man. Who knows what he'd have done to me, right?"
"Princess." Harry admonishes. "It's not to be taken lightly."
"Or blown out of proportion, Smarty Pants."
The cinema complex was different than other cinema houses, because these theatres could only take ten people at a time. The seats were plush red couches and there were people on hand to get you whatever you wanted. It also cost a whole lot more.
Harry asked Louis to sit on his lap and the boy was very willing but also very conscious of Harry's arm. He snuggled up Harry's warmth and bathed in the scent Harry's jacket gave him, forgetting about the very adventurous adverts that were playing on the screen.
"Do you plan on watching?" Harry asks when Louis' fingers start playing with his shirt buttons.
"I do." Louis turned his head towards the screen and stopped fidgeting.
Harry lost interest five minutes in, and so took to playing with Louis' fingers or kissing behind his ear. Louis would mumble something and try turning away but Harry hauled him back every time.
"Stop it." Louis arched his back and whined like a toddler when Harry started tickling his sides. "I wanna watch."
The cinema had eight other people who pretended not to envious but annoyed at the couple sitting right at the back.
"Sorry, princess." Harry kissed Louis' cheek. "I love you."
Louis hummed, eyes glued to the screen and widening whenever the movie resembled its predecessor: Jurassic Park.
"Lou." Harry wanted to hear Louis say it back.
Louis didn't hear him because at that moment there was a loud crash on screen that blocked him out.
"Lou." Harry tried again, growling as he would when he demanded attention before. "Baby."
"Hmm?" Louis couldn't choose a movie over Harry but he really was tempted.
"I love you."
"I know." Louis squawked when Harry poked his sides repeatedly. "I love you too!"
"Thank you." Harry turned Louis on his side to face to movie and curl up on his lap.
The movie finished and Louis was exhausted afterwards, when the excitement of a motion picture wore off. Harry had been rubbing Louis' tummy for two hours now, and hates that he has to stop.
Back at the apartment, Louis emptied their gym bags into the bathroom hamper and fed his pets - who were both already experts in the layout of the flat - while Harry showered.
"Bolg, get inside." Louis was laughing at the creature's stubbornness. "It's bed time."
Bundy was nocturnal and therefore went about his business on his wheel, not bothering anyone.
"Have half a carrot stick then." Louis breaks a thin piece off and feeds the tortoise.
Then came his turn to shower. Harry swatted his behind as an encouraging send-off as Louis scurried off. Afterwards he flopped onto the bed in boxer briefs and Harry's Packers jersey, turning onto his side.
"Come to me." Harry spoke, all serious tone and seductive man voice. Louis' never had that tone of voice.
Louis found his way into Harry's open arm and got his leg hiked up on the man's hips. The comforter and duvet is brought up over them and Louis giggles when Harry's hand magnetises to his tummy again.
"Is it amusing that I want to feel my unborn child?" Harry raises an eyebrow.
"Not at all." Louis shrieks with laughter when Harry rolls them over and puts his face on Louis' tummy.
"Goodnight, angel." Harry kisses Louis' belly button right by the pudge.
"Night, Hazza."
"And goodnight, little Bean." Harry nips at the flesh. There's no answer but Harry's satisfied with just that anyway.
It was going good for Harry. He felt.....lighter and could be healing after twenty-six years of having an open wound. Louis made him warm and whole, plus the presence of a promised child that Harry will protect to no limits.
It's not you. Twenty-six years of living freely and in a day you're letting this boy dictate your life.
Harry hasn't heard that voice in weeks, and it was an absence of whisper he's willing to part with. He stiffens at the serpent's appearance, his eyes remain closed because he knows what he sees if they're open.
You know. He's a hole to fuck and now you ruined it. You're obligated, not in love. Love doesn't exist.
Why was it coming now? After all this time it was silent and now Harry's subconscious brings the pain back. Louis hasn't been asleep for five minutes yet and Harry's starting to feel beads of sweat roll down his sides.
Fucking leave, you coward! You never should have went back to him. Should have stayed in Middleston.
Harry buries his face in Louis' bare tummy. The scent and softness calm him and the raw bleeding starts to slow. He clutches Louis' hips like he's his lifeline.
You'll just do it later when you realise how stupid you're being. This isn't your life and you're lying about wanting it. A fucking boy is pregnant and they won't let you stress. They won't let us do what we know how to do. They won't let you smoke either.
Well that was the truth. All of it was. Harry loosened his grip a little but wrapped his able arm around Louis and kept the other straight since he had no brace on.
You'll snap, Harry. And when you do, you won't be able to go back.