Life was going good. Too good. The kind of too good that makes you afraid for when the amount of good days has been to many, and you have a feeling the universe might throw you a curve ball.
Darren living under the same roof as me went smoother than I expected, and he often spends time at his cabin so we don't get too sick of each other, and he still has his privacy. My parents completed the paper work (surprise- dad wasn't thrilled) and they were now his legal guardians. They didn't act like parents towards him though; he is 17 after all. It would be strange for them to suddenly be authoritative and demanding. Plus, he was so polite, he never gave them a reason to scold him. The summer had been lovely, and I spent lots of time with Avery, Kade, and Daniela. Darren was still a bit nervous to hang out with them with me.
As I said, things were just going too well.
I was reading Perks Of Being a Wallflower on my bed while Darren was lying on the floor with my laptop watching some history documentary for school; that was one thing my parents asked of him. They didn't want to deal with the school if he began failing a class or skipping. Darren's super intelligent, so I knew that wouldn't be an issue. I was caught up in my book when I hear Darren say, "What is this?"
"Hm?" I say not looking away from my book.
"Arabella, what the hell is this." He said firmly.
I looked up to find him flipping through the old book I had kept notes in; the journal Avery and I had written to figure out Darren's life. My heart started beating out of my chest.
"Babe, let me expl-"
"You've been keeping tabs on me?"
"Please!"
"Like I'm some kind of f*cking science project? Is that what I am to you?"
"Darren please, you know that's not true," I yelled.
"Oh look at this. 'He says he's apart of a secret mission. Delusional? Is he telling the truth? FBI?'"
"Darren, that was so long ago, I-"
"I don't want to hear it! I'm a joke to you!"
"No! I love you!"
"Sure."
"Darren please." I cried. "Just sit down, let's talk about this, just hear me out."
"No, I'm out of here."
And just like that, he was gone.
I cried for what seemed like hours but it had only been thirty minutes.
"Dani?" I sniffed.
"Hey, girl! Are you okay? It sounds like you're crying." She answered through the phone.
"Darren found the journal. The journal where I kept notes on him. He's furious and just left. I don't know what to do."
"Oh, Arabella...yikes. Hmm, I would give him some space. He's hurt. Just wait for him to come back."
"What if he doesn't?"
"He will. He loves you, girl! Doesn't he have a short temper?"
"Kind of, I've given him a lot to be mad about though."
"And it always gets fixed, right?"
"Right." I felt my tears slowly going away as Daniela reminded me of this.
"You'll be fine. You know he has a lot going on inside his head- literally."
I giggled. "Yeah, you're right. Thank you, Dani."
"Of course."
My phone began to vibrate. "Oh hold on, I'm getting another call."
"Who is it?"
"Reed?" I said in confusion.
"Woah throwback to school which was only like a month and half ago."
"I'll call you back."
"Kay kay!"
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey!" Reed said cheerfully.
"Hey Reed...care to tell me why you called?"
"I know, it's very random. I was just thinking about you and wanted to know how you were doing!"
"I've been better. Summer has been insane. It's a long story." I laughed.
"I'll have to hear it sometime."
"How are you?" I asked.
"Amazing! Life without high school is so much more enjoyable! And my girlfriend and I are getting along so well, it feels just like the good ol' days, but better."
"That's so great. I'm happy to hear it." I said sincerely.
"Are you with that guy yet? The one you ditched me for at prom." He chuckled.
"Kind of, that's apart of the long story."
"Ahh, I see. We'll have to get coffee sometime and catch up."
"Totally."
"Alright, talk to you soon, Arabella!"
A genuine, adult, pleasant conversation with Reed.
Have I entered an alternate universe?
I had thought about opening up to Reed when he asked how I was, but I didn't feel like explaining or talking about it. There was just too much backstory that Reed doesn't need to know. Sometimes certain friendships were made to stay in high school. I also didn't feel like calling Daniela back, so I texted her.
Me: He just called to catch up, no biggie
Dani: He's still one of the hottest guys from Rockwell High. That fact will never change.
Me: Don't let Kade see you sayin' that
That evening I continued to read to distract myself, but it wasn't working. I hated the fact that I hurt Darren. I was so stupid to not get rid of that journal. Honestly, I had forgotten I even had it. It was one of the many books in a pile upon my floor. I never thought anyone would look through them. I just feel like if I could talk to him about why I started the journal, he'd understand. He even admitted he put me through a lot. Getting to know him was like knocking down twenty walls; once I got him to open up, there was just another wall standing. I picked up the book and began to tear up the pages in anger. Then I recycled them because I'm a good citizen who cares about the environment. (Pls recycle thank you).
My mom had arrived home from work. "Hey, honey. Where's Darren? Dinner will be ready in an hour."
"He's not here. Probably at his cabin."
"Well can you call him or go get him?"
Oh yeah, fun fact. My parents got him a brand new cell phone which I was very thankful for. I never had a way of contacting him before.
"Yeah...he might stay at his place tonight though," I said sadly.
"Oh, okay. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah." I lied.
"Okay. I'll call you down when it's done."
"Thanks, Mom."
The fact that I was leaving in the fall made my mom have a huge change of heart. She was being extra nice to me and worried more about my feelings and emotions more than ever, and I'm actually really thankful for it. She'd never been like that in the past. It's a nice change.
New Message to: Darren <3
Hey, i know you're mad at me but dinner will be ready in an hour. I'd love to talk.
Sent.
Dinner had come and gone, still no reply. I tried to remember Daniela's encouraging words; he'll come around and everything will be okay. We love each other.
Dani: Any luck?
Me: nope
Dani: hang in there, love ya
Me: love you too
I sat on my bed and began to think over everything from the moment Darren and I met; our story was amazing. It was something out of a movie. I would have never guessed any of this were to happen. He completely blind sided me and I fell so deeply in love, but it wasn't easy. Being with him was rarely easy, but I didn't care. I never did. Things had been going so well lately though, it actually felt easy for once. It was as if the rough patches were over, and we had found a groove, and maybe he would officially ask me to be his girlfriend.
I know "making it official" is dumb to some people, but it was special to me. Darren hated labels, but labels like girlfriend and boyfriend were good labels. They're labels you have to earn. They mean something. It means, right now, I choose you. I am yours and you are mine.
And oh how I wanted him to say you're mine.
My phone vibrated.
Darren <3: I'll come over tomorrow morning. We'll talk.
A wave of relief flowed through me.
Me: why not tonight? Just come now, love
Darren: we'll both be more clear headed tomorrow. I'm not in a good place Bella.
Me: You called me Bella, you must not be too upset. You call me Bella as a cute nickname
Darren: Patience, Bella. Tomorrow
My stomach fluttered. He still had the ability to do that to me. Now that that was taken care of, I knew I'd get a decent night of sleep. I thought over what I'd say to Darren about my reasoning behind the journal. He'd have to understand. As he said, tomorrow, we'll both have calmed down and thought over the whole situation. I loved how mature our dynamic was for our age. Older people always say communication is key in a relationship. And YES, I know today would be considered a failure, but we're fixing it.
After doing some college paperwork and emailing my counselor over details, I fell asleep.
❦
"Arabella?" A gentle voice said.
"Hmm?"
"Babe, It's me," Darren said.
I opened my eyes and saw him, handsome as always, wearing a burgundy sweater.
"Wha-what time is it?" I asked squinting my eyes and looking out the window.
"It's 12 p.m."
"Oh...wait, how long have you been here?"
"About an hour. Your parents made breakfast, then I came up and just waited here. Thought I'd let you sleep in a little bit."
"Darren Handley, have you been watching me sleeping?"
"Well, it sounds creepy when you say it like that." He rolled his eyes.
I laughed as I sat up, crumpling the blankets up to me. I felt kind of exposed in my thin, white tank that I wore to sleep.
"Don't feel the need to hide. You're beautiful." He said bashfully.
My cheeks felt warm. "Thanks...I suppose we should talk about yesterday.
"Yeah, why'd you do it?"
"You were so mysterious and...confusing as hell." I laughed, shaking my head. "I don't know, I've just always analyzed, taken notes. It was my way of making sense of everything, but that was early on when I barely knew you. The more I got closer to you, the less I wrote. I forgot I even had that stupid journal. I threw it away last night. I just hate that I hurt you, you mean so much to me and I just-"
I was cut off by his lips crashing into mine. It was as if I was the last drip of water in a dry desert. He climbed on top of me, his embrace becoming stronger, and our kiss became a full on make out session. "Darren-"
"I love you." He murmured into my mouth.
"I love you too, but-"
"You're so beautiful"
"Darren!" I giggled, pushing him lightly off of me. We both sat up. "Sorry, it's just my parents are home."
"I just got caught up in the moment, sorry." He blushed.
"Darren, look into my eyes." He did so. "You are not a science project, and you never were. I never want you to feel anything but love from me, and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Got it?"
He smiled wide, showing off his perfect smile, "Got it."
"Let's just chill today. We deserve a lazy day."
"Actually, no." He said crossing his arms.
"Excuse me?" I raised my eyebrows.
"We're doing something special tonight. I'll plan the whole thing. Spend today with Daniela. Do girly things, get all dressed up. I'll pick you up at eight tonight." He smirked.
"Darren, what's gotten into you?" I smiled. "You never take action like this."
"You deserve the best. That's what I'm trying to do. I want to do this for you. Just let me, okay?"
"Okay, I'll let you take charge." I smiled.
"I love you, see you tonight." He kissed the tip of my nose and left.
Wow, what a shift of events.
Butterflies.
He's trying to be the perfect guy for me, and I'm not going to lie, I'm living for it.
He's already perfect to me, but effort is just attractive in general.
Me: Dani, girl day! Let's get our nails done and buy a new dress, Darren's planning something special tonight!
Dani: YESSS I'm so ready! I'll come over in a bit.
A/N : GUYSSS It's been forever. My deepest apologies. Senior year has taken up all the energy from me but I got really inspired so expect more frequent updates!!! Thank you all so much for reading! I've noticed my writings improved a bit, no? Thank God for AP English. Don't forget to vote and leave your thoughts in the comments!