"CAN WE all just calm down!?" Richie bellowed. "And Stan, stop fucking flaunting your engagement ring, Jesus Christ. We get it, Bill's a stud."
Stan scowled, dropping his hand away from Ash. "You know Richie, because of you I might just switch the ring to my middle finger."
Richie narrowed his eyes at him and folded his arms, waiting for silence.
His eyes swiveled to Bev, who was whispering to Ben and barked, "Hey, Marsh! You're holding up the party!"
Bev let out a long sigh, and turned away from Ben, raising an eyebrow. "Alright, Tozier. Continue."
"Alright. The wedding is literally tomorrow you guys. Do you remember what I said when Stan came yelling about it three months ago?"
Ash sighed, and answered, "You said, 'I'm thinking rainbow balloons, rainbow dress for Bill 'cause he's definitely the girl, a rainbow cake- basically i'm just saying it should look like a rainbow threw the fuck up on the whole shebang.'"
"A-and I said, 'Richie, just because I'm g-gay doesn't m-mean I'm w-wearing a dress.'" Bill said flatly.
"And why rainbows?" Stan asked, throwing his hands into the air. "What the fuck do those have to do with anything?"
Richie shrugged. "I don't know! We can make it black and depressing if you want!"
"And you'll wear a neon sparkly pink suit." Eddie muttered, and Richie glared at him.
"Shut up, Eds."
"Don't call me Eds!"
"Then shut up about the goddamn suit!"
"Alright, alright!" Stan shouted. "When the hell did we ever put you in charge of this wedding? Didn't we ask Greta Keene to cater it?"
Richie blinked, and said breezily, "Greta took a leave of absence."
"And left you in charge?" Ben deadpanned, and Richie shot, "You shut up too, January Embers."
Ben's face reddened, and Bev raised her voice. "Oh, so we're going there now!?"
"Yeah, Molly Ringwald, we're going there now because everyone decided to attack me!"
"Shut up! Just shut up, Richie!"
"Wait, Richie," Ash cut in, and everyone stopped talking. "You have all the decorations we picked out up, right?"
Richie rolled his eyes. "Of course I do. Who do you think I am?"
"Wait, wait, wait!" Stan said indignantly. "You and your girlfriend planned this out?"
Ash looked sheepish, and Stan said, "Oh that is it! You are never going bird watching with me again, Brenner!"
He looked around at all of them, and then exclaimed, "My wedding was planned by an Asshole Duo! I thought by the time I graduated I would have moved past this!"
He dissolved into angry tears, and Richie nudged Ash. "What's wrong with him?"
Bill put an arm around him and said to Richie, "Wuh-wedding stress. Th-that, and the fact that you all planned our f-fucking wedding. D-do you know how many p-p-people are going to laugh us out of Derry?"
"No one's going to laugh you out of Derry!" Ash said exasperatedly.
"B-But Richie can't even make his cl-clothes coordinate!" Stan wailed.
Richie glared at him. "Stan, I'm not letting you and Bill down with this wedding, okay? So stop whining. That's the last thing I would want to do."
Stan sniffed loudly, and mumbled, "Fine. I'm getting a soda."
He pulled himself away from Bill and headed into the kitchen, Ash rubbing her eyelids with her hand.
"Richie, this better go well." She hissed. "Stan's having breakdowns every five seconds."
"Shh, baby," Richie said, wrapping his arms around her. "Everything's gonna be fine."
"Promise?" Ash said, looking up at him.
He kissed the top of her head. "I promise."
—
"Fuck!" Ash screeched, running through the wide halls of the church.
"Ash, where's Bill?" Eddie asked wildly, and Ash jerked her finger behind her.
"Getting ready with Richie, who's not helping for shit. I have to go and make sure the cake is here!" She called as she blew past him.
"He's supposed to walk down the aisle in 5 minutes!" Eddie screeched.
"Then fucking get him there, asthma attack!" Ash replied, and rounded the corner towards where the reception hall was.
She skidded into the room, and saw two men unloading a huge cake onto the table, and gave a sigh of relief.
"Thank you guys!" She said, and they nodded at her. "Put it in the middle, and uh, watch the napkins!"
She flew from the room and down the hallway, rounding the corner and plowing right onto Richie, who hit the ground, Ash on top of him.
He grinned up at her. "Oh, how the tables have turned."
She rolled her eyes, but gave him a quick kiss. "You look handsome, Rich. Surprisingly."
She got off of him, and he offered her a hand, pulling her to her feet.
"And you look gorgeous, beautiful. As always."
"Thanks." She felt her cheeks flush, as they always did when Richie called her beautiful.
"Shit, we better get in there." Richie said, checking his watch, and grabbed Ash's hand, leading her towards the entrance to the auditorium where Bill was hyperventilating.
"I-I was crazy to go th-through with this!" He was sputtering as Eddie tried to soothe him.
"Bill shut up and go marry your gay ass boyfriend." Richie said firmly, and he shoved him into the aisle.
"That's your cue, dipshit!"
Bill glared at him, mumbling, "Y-You're dead, Tozier." Before shakily proceeding down the aisle towards Stan, who's eyes were welled with tears.
"Fuck, these kids." Richie shook his head before he and Ash went behind Bill, reaching the end of the aisle and taking their spots at the front.
The ceremony continued, Bill and Stan not letting go of each other's hands the entire time as Ben ministered.
That had been Bev's idea.
When he said you may kiss the groom, Stan laughed and kissed Bill, his cheeks flushing pink, and Richie let out a whoop.
"The gays are back and better than ever!" He concluded, shouting it to the audience which consisted of a handful of people.
Later, they were all at the reception, Bill and Stan dancing and shoving cake into each other's faces as Ash and Richie watched them contently.
"We did pretty good." Ash said, watching the pair.
"Yeah. We did." Richie said, and then stood, holding his hand out to her.
"Wanna dance, beautiful?"
She shook her head, smiling widely, before taking it as he lead her out onto the dance floor.
She rested her head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist and he murmured in her ear, "Y'know this could be us someday."
She pulled away from him, her eyes meeting his. "Richie Tozier, are you proposing?"
His eyes twinkled. "Not yet, dollface. But soon."
He wrapped her back in his arms, and touched his forehead to her's. "Real soon."
BITCH WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS AFTER WRITING THIS OMG WE HAVE TWO PARTS TO THIS EPILOGUE LEFT EBDHSG SHIT YOU GUYS