song: Try Again by d.ear ft NCT Jaehyun
(I have listened to this song at least once everyday since it came out but recently I realised it had a music video and I'm just that much more in love with it JAEHYUN LOOKS ETHEREAL uwu but also I'm so sorry for neglecting the hell out of y'all but lately I have just been drawing up a blank & thinking of ways of wrapping up the book but I have a rough idea!!
If you count the epilogue(???) we're 2 chapters away from the end DJDJDJSJSJ) (also Hixtape sndndn I have no hair and it's literally -4°C)(hello I'm so sorry this took so long but it's extra long and soft too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))
[two months later]
Im Changkyun
I laid down, letting my eyes flutter shut as a breeze blew over me. A patch of my face grew warm, and I draped an arm over it to block the sunlight.
For the first time in roughly three days, I found time to lay down in my own company; and with the weather significantly warmer than before, laying down in the garden was somewhat acceptable.
It wasn't long until my eyelids became heavier with sleep, and I was almost there until I felt someone hover above me. I snapped open my eyes, meeting another pair of brown, warm ones. "Wow, is it that bad?"
"I never thought taking care of a newborn would be so tiring," I chuckled, Kihyun laying beside me now. "She's one month old but she's hyper."
"I can only imagine," he chuckled, leaning on his elbow so he was looking over me, one hand absentmindedly touching my cheek. "you should have just rested instead of calling me over."
"No, this is perfect, they went to my aunt's so they'll be back quite late, and it's not like Youngjae cares about our presence so yeah, it's fine," I smiled. "I haven't seen you in a while. Fancy seeing you here? On this day?"
I hoped that he took the bait and remembered but all he did was laugh gently. "It's been 7 days, and it's not like we haven't been texting non stop and I don't call you every night."
"Okay, but, what if, just what if," I gestured for him to come closer, and he leaned over until our noses were touching. "what if I just missed you?"
"Hmm, that's fair," Kihyun leaned the rest of the distance, planting several pecks on my lips before proceeding to lay his head on my shoulder. "I missed you too."
The patch of sunlight grew in size, the afternoon rays now shining down on the two of us. After that - and for a while - none of us bothered to say much more, and it was nice.
As much as I claimed I was independent, wherever Kihyun went I would most likely follow him without questioning it. And the fact that months and seasons had passed since we met, but I still felt like my heart could jump out through my mouth whenever I see him told me that it wasn't a passing crush, as most would believe.
It was moments like this, when we were just laying together and doing nothing that I was reminded of how much I loved him.
"What are you thinking about?" He craned his head.
"Just..stuff," I shrugged, moving my arm from my side and around him, to pull him closer to me.
"What the hell your neighbours would think if they walked out and saw us like this," he laughed. "but just stuff too, I guess."
"Are you doing anything tonight?" He asked after a few more seconds of just the leaves rustling.
"Not that I know, why's that?"
"Keep your schedule free."
He left again not long after that, off to work. I pretty much did the same, helping around the house with my niece. After hours of playing, blowing out my candles and singing lullabies and having to move around as silently as possible when she eventually fell asleep, I started to get ready and right this second I stood outside of my house just minutes from hypothermia as I watched Kihyun's car turn into my street.
"What took you so long?" I asked after I waddled into the passenger seat.
"I'm sorry, I had to drop by my house and check up on a couple of things before I came to get you," he bumped up the heating. "how have you been in these short hours that we haven't seen each other."
"Nearly dying," I placed my hand over my chest. "being away from you during those endless hours was torture on my my poor soul. But it was okay, when Yeorum is awake it's really fun but she sleeps a lot. How was work, dearest?"
"As expected of a baby, but good," he chuckled. "and it wasn't so bad, but there was this one order from some crazy idiot; I had to develop over 100 photos by hand because it was a film camera."
"Christ, what did he even take photos of?"
"Random stuff, I don't know I went into autopilot mode after a little while," he smiled, but it dropped into a pained look as his stomach rumbled louder than the heating in the car. I frowned. "I could eat all of us present right now."
My cheeks burned. "Damn."
"I meant it literally," he looked at me directly in the eye. "but unless you-"
"I can't believe you." I laughed, clapping my hands as he shook his head.
"You started it!" Kihyun didn't hesitate to whine. "But yes, how do you feel about milkshakes?"
The look of my face was enough of an answer to get him to quickly take the second exit on the roundabout, driving to the same diner that I had walked all the way to when my Mom basically kicked me out.
The atmosphere inside was different; there was no Taehyung, Yoongi, Hoseok or Jimin (in fact I hadn't seen them for a couple weeks, Taehyung and Yoongi in Italy & Hoseok and Jimin studying for their exams already), instead, individual unfamiliar faces scattered around the tables.
We opted with taking the food away, sitting at at the counter as we waited for our order.
"Your parents," the suddenness scared him, causing him to flinch a little but then smile lightly, gesturing for me to continue. "how are they?"
"They're good, I guess. They went on holiday to Osaka for a little while but they're back" Kihyun looked at his hands. "why the sudden question?"
"Nothing, I was just curious." And we returned to the silence. It was just two minutes until the end of the day; three short minutes. Kihyun stayed motionless, only snapping back to life to take the bag of food and to take my hand in his on the way to the car.
"Everything okay?" He asked me, and I nodded.
"And you?" He nodded in response, smiling as he pulled out of the car-park, into the night.
I couldn't blame him for not remembering my birthday, he had plenty on his plate - between working and photography gigs, Kihyun was back in university, this time studying business. Alongside that, he and Hyungwon were actively looking for a new place & despite their trip, his parents were still rather hostile with each other from what he had told me before. However, it still stung, somewhere deep in me and I tried my best to not show it - I ate and laughed with him, we watched a movie and I cuddled up to him, but it didn't take a whole genius to figure out I was off.
"Everything okay?" I felt his arms wrap around me from behind as I washed my face. "You've been really quiet, and don't say you haven't because I noticed."
"I'm just tired," I turned around to his wide, innocent eyes, hoping they would light up and he'd realise but I was greeted by a blink. "I promise, I'm okay."
"Okay, come on," Kihyun pressed a kiss to my forehead. "one thing though, you can't turn the lights on in my room, okay? I have really photosensitive equipment in there. And you need to lean down a little, it's everywhere so you might bump into it."
"Fair enough." I chuckled, following behind him and letting him lead me into bed and cuddle up to me.
***
I felt the sunlight hit me, and for a few moments it felt nice and warm against my bare arm, but then what Kihyun told me came to mind and I shot up so fast everything was spinning for a second. "The blind- oh."
I stared around, sitting back down and craning my head around as I watched the multiple photos hanging from the ceiling twirl gently, occasionally blown side to side by a breeze. As I took a closer look at them, I noticed they were of me - Candids I didn't even remember being taken, all dated & labelled with what happened that day at the back. It wasn't one or two, or twelve - it was easily over 80.
"In hindsight, though, it feels a little creepy now," I heard Kihyun say, looking around proudly. "but it came out nice."
"You didn't forget?"
"Of course I didn't forget, it just took forever to print these," he wrapped his arms around me. "this is what I was doing at "work" yesterday - are you crying?!"
"Yes of course I fucking am!" I whined and he laughed, pulling me closer to him. I brushed a shaky hand across my eyes, still ugly-sobbing. "I love youuuuu."
"And I love you, far more than I can ever put into words. But, wow, Jooheon said you cried at grand gestures but I thought it was a joke," Kihyun smiled. "come on."
"There's more?" I blinked.
"Well, there should be if they got their shit together."
We walked down to the kitchen, or whatever the hell was left of it since cake ingredients littered every available surface, and it seemed like more flour was on Minhyuk and Jooheon than in the actual packet.
"You owe me $20,000, he's sobbing." My best friend whispered to his boyfriend.
"You made a bet on me?!"
"Personally, I knew you would cry but Minhyuk wouldn't take my word," Jooheon gave me a hug. "cake is in the oven and soon will be done, so, happy birthday!"
Minhyuk, who was laughing, suddenly stopped. "Oh no not again."
Yes again, because I cried some more and for the entire day as I went through each photo with Kihyun. I came to the final ones, closer to the door, when I noticed a string missing a photo. "What happened? This one doesn't have a-"
I was silenced by a flash, followed by a smug Kihyun looking at his camera. "Needn't you worry."