The mirror shone with nothing but the gloom of my dress. Gabriella had fastened my hair in a secure bun, really bringing my features forwards. That was what she said earlier, I hope she's right. The dress just reached the spot right under my knees, being tight and stretchy it really made me have a bit of curve. Not that it mattered anyway.
I twisted to the left, then right. Something bothered me, I just couldn't put words on it. I twisted again. Then again and again. I groaned. This wasn't right and everything had to be. It was my mother's funeral. Nothing was supposed to be unperfect. I threw my hands down along my sides, dodging away from the mirror.
I strolled towards the window, my hand rubbing against my forehead. "Deep breathes, Nina. Deep breathes." As I tried to take my own advice, two people walked around in the garden, talking silently amongst each other.
I leaned against the part of the wall there lined up to the window. It was slightly open, bringing in a frosty wind. "Have you told her yet?" one of the men asked. I couldn't recognize them from the back, but their hair color identified them as either, Francisco, Luis, Manuel or Anthony.
"No, but I will." The first man grabbed the other mans wrist, stopping them in their strolling. "After the funeral of course."
"This is not a light matter, Anthony. I hope you understand."
Anthony?
"I know, but her mother's funeral isn't either, so let's work through that first."
"You're right about that matter, but not long after she has to know that her father is in the hospital." They curved towards each other, the sides of their face showing. Manuel's glasses were the first thing popping out. Why was my father in the hospital?
"I know, but to be honest, it wouldn't surprise me if she wouldn't care at all. That man is insane. He can't even be called a man anymore because no man would lay a single finger on his own flesh and blood." Anthony turned his head as soon as his sentence had stopped. I a hurry, I spun around and tipped against the wall, out of his sight.
My heart beamed against my chest as if it tried to tear a hole. "What the hell just happened?" I asked myself, placing my hand right over my heart and closing my eyes shut.
A knock disturbed my unpleasant thoughts and made me open my eyes again. "Come in!" I yelled in return for the friendly knock.
The door opened and in walked Antonio, wearing a black suit and a pleasant white shirt underneath tied together with an even blacker tie. "You look good," I told him, folding my hands in front of me and strolled closer to him. "Do you want anything?"
"I just wanted to talk. Our conversation at the hospital was nice and calm, but I haven't really had the chance to talk with you about us being brother and sister." He scratched his neck, avoiding my gaze.
I shrugged. "I guess not, however, right now I don't think that this is the time for us to talk about that. My mom's funeral is in an hour and I can't say that I am in the right stage of mind to talk about anything."
"I understand that, but there are so many questions there have been controlling my mind the last couple of days. I've talked with Liam about it, but he never really had any answers and now... Charlotte is dead. Shouldn't I be affected by that?"
"No, you shouldn't. She wasn't your mother, only the one who protected a man who abused your friend. Gabriella is your mother. It had been a different story if she had died. Don't forget that, Antonio. Gabriella is your mother, not Charlotte." I gave him a half-hearted smile.
"Thanks, but maybe after this, we should talk. I still must go back to the city and collect my stuff from my former home. You know, Sofia has chosen to move back to her hometown in Virginia, we haven't talked much, but her parents are nice people and have apologized thousands of times on her behalf." He shook his hand as he ran a hand through his hair. "I still don't understand that and then with all of this on top of it... it kind of sets my mind into overdrive."
"I understand what you mean, but right now I'm afraid I can't help you. And regardless Sofia, you should talk to her, in person. Ask her what lead to all of this and maybe even get you to settled on good terms. You were about to get married after all."
"Sofia may be a very simple woman on the outside, but she struggles with her owns battles. I believe that something went wrong with our relationship I worked too much to notice. I see your logic in talking to her, but right now she needs space and time and we have a funeral to attend. This is not about any of us, but Charlotte Watson. She may not have been the best mother, but she was your mother and in some way, I believe it would be good for you to honor that."
"Well thank you for that."
He smiled and opened his arms. "Care for a hug?"
I threw myself into his arms, feeling the warmth of a brother surround me in seconds. "I haven't cried yet."
"Over what?"
"Over her death. I should be crying my eyes out, but I haven't. I cried that day only because I thought I was unfairly treated. I didn't cry because she died, but because she did it in front of me. Doesn't that make me a bad person?"
He stroked my hair gently. "No, it makes you human. You're not perfect; none of us are. You're still dealing with her death in your own way and I promise that you'll soon figure out why you're responding this way and not the way you believe you should."
"Your whole family is very good with words."
"I know. We are businessmen and woman after all," he laughed and let me go from his embrace.
"Um... can I ask you a question about Cisco?"
"Of course, but I must say that he's kinda weird and likes to be all over the place."
"Yeah... I know that, but can you tell me how he can afford a Ferrari. I believe he isn't getting pocket money from your parents any longer."
"No, but as the only one who interested himself in marketing, my father chose him as the heir to the firm and since he's over twenty-one, he owns about twenty percent of our parent's company. You gain a lot of money from that."
"I see... so buying Ferrari's is just his thing?" I asked. That was something I had never thought I would say.
"I wouldn't put it that way, but he's very fond of cars. They kind of helps him relax and just forget the world for a moment." Antonio glanced out the window. "What are Anthony and Manuel doing outside?"
I gazed the same way as him. They were still standing there, just not talking anymore. "Agreeing when the best time is to tell me that my father is in the hospital for unknown reasons."
"What?" Antonio blurted loudly. "John is in the hospital?"
"Didn't I just tell you?" I tilted my head as I stared at him. I am sure I told him.
"Yes, but it just seems weird that he suddenly is in the hospital."
"Yeah, but right now I have to focus on my mother's funeral you and Liam so kindly planned."
He nodded and extended his arm, which I gladly took. "Then let's go meet the others. I believe you have a car we can drive in?"
"I suppose I have."
He smiled down and me before we both moved our feets and strolled out in the kitchen to the others. Manuel and Anthon soon joined us, Anthony wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Are you ready?" he whispered.
"I don't think I'll ever be."
"Understandable, however, I have to ask you about that speech you want to pull off in the church today. Are you sure you can handle it?" He pulled me tighter.
"I need to do it."
"Okay, then let's get going."
We all parted up and drove two to four people together in one car.
I gazed up at the church in the other part of town. It was as tall as any church could be and nothing like the one I had always visited on Sundays and sometimes when I just needed someone to talk to. Though, in this church, I would guess that no one laid roses inside the door. Which still leaves my mind heavy with a mysterium about the flower layer.
The church had crystal glass windows and was made out of old stone. Spears towered highly into the sky as if they were reaching for the angels above. The double doors were made from solid dark wood and appeared much older than the windows.
Everything from there really went in a blur until people streamed in through the doors, laying their flowers on the floor leading up to the coffin with my mother inside. It was a beautiful one and as my hands roamed its polished surface, I saw my mother's face stare back at me. The last time I saw her was bloodstained and lifeless, having just taken her own life. I denied seeing her again, but my gut was filled with regret.
The coffin gleamed as the early morning strays glistered through the cathedral windows. It had to be unimaginably uncomfortable to lie in such thing, apparently only made to bring comfort to the living. I was made with faux-gold handles there seemed just as polished as the black coffins itself. The flower on the top was some I had placed there myself. I picked them in Anthony's garden yesterday and couldn't figure out what I wanted with them. Now, here they are, on top of a dead woman, what a shame. But they fit in perfectly with all the tears of the people taking seats on the wooden bench lining the aisle, which was crafted out of exquisite marble.
A hand landed on my shoulder, gently pressing down. "Let's take our seats," Anthony told me from behind. I nodded without turning and took one good look at the coffin before I went with Anthony and took a seat beside him and Liam.
I had never seen Liam cry, but here he was, eyes fixed at the altar and salt drops gliding down his cheeks. My hand found him and squeezed it tight. That should be me too.
"We are gathered here to say farewell to Charlotte Watson and to commit her into the hands of God," the priest said.
"In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." He kept a short break. "Charlotte was a good mother and a loving wife. She supported her blood and would take the ride to the grave for her. She, herself, may not be walking amongst us anymore, but something will never separate us; our love for God and the Son. He was a strong believer and she wants us to remember her through our faith. Remember that she's still looking down upon on us and watching over her beautiful children. Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord. And let perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen. May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen."
The priest and the rest of us made ourselves ready for the prayer.
" Lord our God, you are the source of life. In you, we live and move and have our being. keep us in life and death in your love, and, by your grace, lead us to your kingdom, Through your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord."
"Amen."
I closed my eyes, taking in the feeling of this. Being in God's house and having everyone staring at you. I felt so alone that it was unreal. My mother was gone, but still right in front of me, buried in cracked memories and delicate flowers. This was supposed to be beautiful, but to me, it was nothing else than hideous.