song: Trauma by Seventeen (hip hop unit)
Y'all I'm so sorry for taking so long to update lately, every time I go to write something comes up and I'm like 🙃 hopefully over the next week I can get back on top of it or something fat sigh
Yoo Kihyun
Hyungwon stared deeply into his mug, processing what I was forced to vent to him after he caught me sighing dramatically in the kitchen for the fourth time in 10 minutes.
To be honest, in my presence at least, it was the longest he'd gone without speaking, and the slight dazed look in his eyes made him look far more innocent than his permanent 'I know all your secrets' smirk.
"And like," I spoke after another minute of silence, desperately trying to get him to react. Say something. "I have to edit her wedding photos, and she went about the night acting like nothing happened at all. I don't even know if she told M-"
"When was the last time you spoke with Changkyun?" He suddenly asked.
"Uh," I scratched my head. "we text everyday but properly speak? I'd say maybe since last week..it's been really awkward - I mean, I'm making it awkward because I don't know how to casually slip in that my ex-girlfriend kissed me an hour before she got married, you feel?"
"I don't, and I'm glad!" He exclaimed. "Naturally, your course of action is to tell him. You acting distant may seem good to you but it's probably freaking him out and making him think that he did something wrong. Just call him over and tell him straight up, I'll even go hide out in my room."
"He's going to hate me." I brought my hands to my face, dragging them through my hair in hopes that I would figure out another solution, but it never came - Hyungwon was right. I sighed yet again.
"I swear if you sigh again I'm gonna break my foot up your ass," he slid me my phone, standing up. "call him over. Changkyun seems understanding, he'll know it isn't your fault."
I mumbled at him, pressing on Changkyun's name. Within a ring, he'd picked up. "Hello?"
"Hi, how are you?" I said.
"I'm okay, was gonna call you and ask if I can come hide out at your house. My sister is insisting on practicing a water birth and I don't want to be anymore scarred than I am every night when I lay in my bed and think my niece was conceived right where I lay," he said, slightly strained as he stretched on the other end of the line. "unless you have any other plans, like I can go to Jooheon's but I would be third wheeling him and Minhyuk for the whole day and be very b-"
The second Hyungwon shot me a glare, I interrupted him. "Door's wide open."
"Nice, I'll get ready. Any snacks you want or can I bring anything?"
"You-" I pulled the phone away from my ear, my boyfriend suddenly hollering. Even Hyungwon raised his eyebrow suggestively. "I mean, bring whatever you want."
"Yeah, yeah," he laughed. "I'll be there soon."
And like that, he hung up. I dropped the phone, staring at Hyungwon. "That's that."
"Give me two knocks when you're done apologising so I can put on my noise-cancelling headphones, yeah?" He grinned as he left the kitchen, but not before I threw one of my slippers at his back.
I slid it back as I went to answer the door, Changkyun armed with two giant bags of crisps. "I'm-"
"They had a sale," He replied curtly, sliding past me to take off his shoes, only after leaving a kiss on my cheek. "um, Kihyun? Can I ask you something?" He mumbled after a few moments.
"Sure." I forced a smile.
"Are we like, okay? You've been really distant since the wedding and I assumed it was just buried emotions coming out with everything happening but it's literally been nearly a week." My heart sank when he stared back at me with clueless puppy eyes.
"Can you come to my room?" He nodded immediately, following behind me. I shut the door with my foot, sitting on the bed next to him.
"I'm, uh, I've been holding on to this for a week now, because I just didn't know how to tell you," I said. "I don't know if you remember when everybody suddenly left Eunho's room?"
"Yeah, I had just left the bathroom when all her bridesmaids were huddled outside. What's wrong with that?" Changkyun asked.
"I stayed with her; she asked me to stay. And then she started talking about how she wished it was me she was getting married to-"
He interrupted. "Like I said, it'd been like how many years? since you last saw each other, I guess it all came-"
"She kissed me," I suddenly blurted. "I didn't react to it and pushed her away, but that doesn't make it any better. That's why I have been so quiet lately, because this happened and I just didn't know how to let you know and ugh," I sighed. "I'm so sorry I kept it to myself for so long but I just didn't know how to tell you because I was scared to lose you."
I couldn't bring myself to look at him, but I could see his fidgety hands, until they suddenly stopped. My head snapped up and in the same moment, he threw his arms around me. "It's okay, Kihyun. I know full well that you wouldn't initiate something like that because you wouldn't hurt me like that. If I'm mad at anybody it isn't you."
"Are you sure? Like, I want to punch myself."
"Who said I don't want to?" He moved away for a second, before returning with a chuckle. "I do, I want to kick down a door because sis thinks she can have her shot, leave you and pull something like this. But I'm not going to. I just need to ask you one think, Kihyun."
"Go for it." I mumbled into the crook of his neck.
"Did you feel anything when she kissed you?"
I sat up. "If it isn't you, I'm bound to feel exactly nothing. I think my feelings for her left when she did too."
"Okay, I just wanted to make sure." he grinned, kissing my lips. I leaned towards him, but was stunned when he adorably pushed back, until I was laying beneath him. I laughed.
"What?" He asked, hovering above me with his hands either side of my head. I quickly reached for his wrists, rolling the two of us over - much to his surprise.
"Nothing." I dipped down, leaving small kisses on his neck.
"Listen, you're cute and all but Hyungwon is in the other room."
I flopped on top of Changkyun, forcing a groan out of him. I sighed. "I don't know what makes you think I have any energy, I literally just want to lay down and watch How To Get Away With Murder in your presence."
"Now that sounds like a good plan," I let him go and he stood up, stretching. "should I go get the food?"
"You keep that up and I might have to marry you."
***
Im Changkyun
"I'm so glad you could make it." She smiled, hands cupped around an iced Americano.
"I mean you went through all of that just to find me so it would have been a bit of a douche move to not show up." I replied, falling into the seat.
Eunho smiled again, this time painfully. "I wouldn't blame you if you chose not to."
"So.." I trailed off. "what's up? Why this?"
Now upon a second look, she seemed different; more tanned due to her honeymoon in some fancy island in the French Polynesia, making the giant diamond on her hand stand out even more. Her hands dropped to her lap when she noticed me staring.
"I wanted to apologise, Changkyun. What I did was so out of order and ever since I have just been regretting it- hell, I haven't even told Mingyu yet because I don't know how to phrase it to him that I stupidly hired my ex to photograph my wedding and my feelings for him came back & I kissed him even though he has someone who loves him more than I ever will."
"It was just a kiss, it has no meaning," I replied. "unless it does..to you."
She raked a hand through her hair. "I'm so sorry, Changkyun. The guilt is eating away at me."
"Huh," I mused. "It's okay, I forgive you. You just need to really let your husband know, what you don't want to do is start a wedding with a lie. It will hurt less for him to find out now than later."
"You're absolutely right," Eunho sighed, a smile on her face. "I feel so much better, this was actually killing me insi-"
I started laughing; a quiet chuckle that evolved to a cackle so manic some heads turned in our direction. Eunho stared with a panicked expression. As quickly as it came, the laughter died suddenly, replaced with pursed lips. I stood up. "You know, I thought you were better than this and would let me know as soon as possible but it took you a solid week and then you have the audacity to drop that this mess actually meant something to you. You literally only apologised to make yourself feel better."
"Wait, Changkyun! Where are you-"
I turned around. "I'm going to help my sister with her fake water birth, thank you very much."
changkyun rn :