He knew it was wrong.
Of course he did.
His mother was once a good parent and had told him all his life to stay away.
To stay away from drugs.
Especially the powders and the pills.
But there was something about the way that the white powder swam through his body, heavy like golden syrup and the temporary fix of happiness that it provided.
There was something about the way that it gave him something he didn't have.
Sure, Jeon Jeongguk was suicidal, you could say.
He was suicidal enough to feel like he wanted to die, but not quite at the point where he was willing to go through with his feelings.
It was down to numerous factors.
Like, the depression that had to kick in at the wrong time.
Or the fact that his brother was creeping around and his uncle had been seen many times, with said brother.
Or the fact that he wasn't good enough for Kim Taehyung, but somehow Kai was.
Jungkook took a drag from the freshly lit cigarette, watching as the smoke danced around in the air.
What had he ever done wrong?
He did everything a good boyfriend should do.
He spoiled Taehyung with love and affection, peppered him with kisses and had sex quite often. He doubted that Kai was better in bed than him, considering Kai was straight and only had experience with women.
Jungkook knew that you didn't have to major in biology to know that having sex with a man would be different to having sex with a woman.
It's mostly common sense.
His friends weren't bad people and he knew for a fact they all loved Taehyung to pieces, even after they turned on him.
He'd heard them talking about how much they missed Taehyung and how they wished he'd never done that to Jungkook.
He remembers how broken Taehyung looked when he'd seen him the morning after he'd slept with Kai.
Of course, Jungkook was more heartbroken.
You didn't have to be Einstein to figure that one out.
He'd seen Taehyung cleaning in the morning, and heard Taehyung's soft voice call his name.
That voice.
Why did it have to be so enticing?
Why did it give him butterflies in his stomach?
Why did his heart feel like it was going to burst whenever it sounded his name?
And his eyes, those big brown eyes.
Why did they have to be so pretty?
Why did he have to have a set of unique eyelids that Jungkook would kill for? One double, one mono.
Why did he have to be so gorgeous?
Jungkook had just simply whispered a broken, 'don't talk to me' in response.
After all, how was he going to be able to look at Taehyung?
When he had another man's marks on his skin and moans of his name swirling around in his thoughts?
He couldn't do that to himself.
He'd burst into tears at the very sight of one hickey decorating Taehyung's neck.
Because it wasn't his. Taehyung, wasn't his.
He probably never was.
Jungkook had always felt like a back up.
A back up plan for when something went wrong. Or someone to come to if someone else was busy.
He was never wanted.
Not even by his own parents.
They always preferred that damn Jeon Jung-hyun.
His stupid brother.
Who did nothing but havoc. Never achieved good grades in school. Never really did anything well.
Hell, the kid didn't even know how to tell the time until he was eleven.
Jungkook had picked it up at the age of three.
But that wasn't impressive, somehow.
Somehow, someone was always better.
Jung-hyun was always a little taller, a little more muscular. His handwriting was oh, so, slightly neater than his own. His cooking was always a little nicer, the food a little richer. He was a little funnier, a little more cheekier. His voice was a little deeper and his laugh a little louder and more appealing to the many girls he'd attract.
That prick.
His mother and father probably liked him a little more because Jungkook didn't have the appeal to go out and get as many girlfriends as he could. They'd always joke that he was gay and he'd simply laugh along and tell them that it wasn't quite his time to shine.
Jungkook scoffed, flicking the ash into the ceramic tray.
He'd never really been lucky.
Not only did Taehyung cheat on him, he also left the mafia to go find the guy he cheated on him with and join his gang, which was an uprising enemy to the mafia.
Not like Jungkook couldn't handle it, of course he could. He was tougher than he looked, mentally and physically.
He tolerated a lot of shit.
But, he wasn't sure that he'd last much longer.
To get the thought of being weak out of his head, Jungkook then remembered how much fun he and Taehyung had had. Including all the sex.
The duality was amazing.
One time, Jungkook had subbed for the first time in ages. It wasn't like he was scared of being bottom or that he didn't enjoy it, he just had more of a dominant twang to his personality and it just fit that Taehyung was more submissive.
However, Taehyung wanted to be top one day and Jungkook let him. He knew Taehyung was attracted to him no matter how he acted.
He dressed up.
A sub, sub, sub and whole fucking sub.
Jesus, he was being more submissive than fucking Park Jimin, and everyone knew that was hard to do. Pardon the puns.
He'd dressed up in baby pink and white. He knew Taehyung had a bit of a baby boy kink, so he switched their roles around and became the baby boy.
A white, oversized fluffy jumper matched the white thigh highs that were decorated with huge pink bows. A pink garter paired with the pink choker that sat delicately around his throat.
He whined for Taehyung, he was needy.
He remembers how Taehyung had told him that his long eyelashes and ruffled hair were pretty. He remembers how Taehyung had bit his lip, dragging it out as he touched Jungkook.
Taehyung was also into handcuffs, judging by the way that Jungkook's slim wrists were encased in fluffy pink restraints.
He'd coated Jungkook in hickeys, the purple blotches showing up on his milky skin like pansies in a field.
He remembers how Taehyung had wrapped those gloriously large hands around his throat and how Taehyung's cock had twitched at the most erotic sound that came out of Jungkook's mouth.
It was like a whine, mixed with a moan and it shot raindrops of shivers throughout Taehyung's body, leaving little goosebumps behind as the sound swam through him.
"That was fucking beautiful." Taehyung had said, slightly in awe.
He remembered how good it felt when Taehyung finally slid into him, filling him up. He'd scratched all over Taehyung's broad back, mewling as he began to move.
Taehyung had watched as Jungkook closed his eyes in pleasure, the jumper pushed up to reveal more skin and his slender waist. He'd repeated the motions that made Jungkook dig his nails in deeper, practically screaming his name as he hit the bundle of nerves that made Jungkook see stars.
Taehyung found Jungkook's panting overwhelmingly attractive and spurred him on to want to fuck him into oblivion.
"Ca-n I co-o-me?" Jungkook's broken voice had moaned out, nearing his close.
Taehyung had shook his head, continuing to thrust as he denied Jungkook's release.
But who was Jungkook to listen?
Jungkook had bit his lip, staring directly at Taehyung whilst he mewled, coming anyway.
"Bad Kookie." Jungkook had pouted, moaning as Taehyung's huge hands struck his skin as punishment.
And then there was the usual days where Jungkook would top.
He liked being bottom, but he enjoyed having control over Taehyung as he was just so fucking perfect to use like a toy.
Jungkook was laid, in his boxers, beckoning a completely naked Taehyung to come over. The only bit of fabric that covered Taehyung's skin was the thick choker that danced around his thin neck. He'd worn it because he liked the feeling of slight asphyxiation that he gain when Jungkook tugged on it.
"Show me how bad you want it. Show me how much you want daddy's cock." Jungkook had purred in Taehyung's ear, Taehyung drinking in the arousal and relishing the feeling that ran through his body.
He'd crawled over Jungkook's body, laying on top of him. He'd captured Jungkook's lips with his own, rolling his hips to rub his own dick against Jungkook's, who'd hiss every so often if Taehyung ground his hips down just right.
Taehyung had gasped when Jungkook grabbed his ass, using the slight shock to let his tongue enter Taehyung's mouth. Taehyung had made whines of appreciation into Jungkook's mouth as Jungkook's fingers slowly slid into Taehyung's hole, bending and scissoring to find the spot that would cause Taehyung to jolt.
Taehyung had moaned into Jungkook's mouth, grinding his hips around to try and get Jungkook's fingers to go in deeper.
"P-please." Taehyung was a whimpering mess and under Jungkook's complete control. He'd let Jungkook do pretty much anything as it always felt good.
"What?" Jungkook had played dumb, slowing down the thrusting of his fingers, "what does my baby want?"
Taehyung desperately ground his hips down, practically using Jungkook's growing bulge to jerk himself off. He needed something.
"I w-want you." Taehyung had replied, content with the feeling of Jungkook's confined member pressing against his belly.
"Of course." Jungkook's smooth voice replied, deep and melodic to Taehyung's desperate ears.
Taehyung slid Jungkook's boxers down, immediately wrapping one of his hands around the base of Jungkook's cock.
He flicked his wrist, enjoying the look on Jungkook's face as his hand slid up and down.
He carried on doing what he was doing before bringing his mouth to the tip, sucking on the sensitive skin. Jungkook had bucked his hips, causing Taehyung to gag a little at the size that touched the back of his throat.
He coated Jungkook's cock with the precum that was lewdly leaking from the tip before lowering himself down.
Jungkook had told him to do it slowly, but Taehyung didn't listen. Instead, he'd slammed down, Jungkook moaning deeply as the hilt of his cock hit the rim of Taehyung's hole.
Taehyung threw his head back as he grew accustomed to the feeling of fullness.
He had weakly put his hands on Jungkook's chest, pushing his hands down to raise himself up. He went back down slower this time, sliding himself up and down carefully. He'd picked up the confidence to start bouncing, more used to the feeling.
He didn't miss Jungkook's low groan as the sound of skin against skin began to echo throughout the room.
He didn't miss Jungkook's panting as he neared his close.
He didn't miss the feeling of warmth as Jungkook shot ropes of cum into his body.
Jungkook sighed, putting out his cigarette. He missed Taehyung, and no amount of cocaine or alcohol could fabricate the happiness he'd felt with him.