Wilder
I had avoided kea the entire week and it had been anything but easy.
Her constant presence didn't make it any better.
She seemed to be everywhere; the field, parking lot, class and when I tried to cut class cause I couldn't take being around her anymore, I got detention.
Wherever I went she was there before me.
I could tell, she was trying to avoid me just as much.
But it just couldn't be helped.
For the past few months, I had tried so hard to be around her, our schedules were intertwined, it was bound to bite me in the ass.
But despite that, we managed to keep a safe distance from one another.
Until this damned night.
It was another weekend house party and I only came because I needed the distraction. I knew Kea wouldn't be here, she hardly ever came to these. Plus this one was at Lucas's house and Kea avoided Lucas like the plague.
So it was safe here.
Or so I thought.
It was a normal party, nothing too out of the ordinary, unlike New York people here were quite tame.
It was a welcome change.
I was near the patio when I heard Lucas roar from the doorway, when I turned to see what the blowout was about, I was fucked by the fickle finger of fate - because a very drunk Lucas had his arm around a very disinterested Kea. Who looked like she would rather be held hostage somewhere than be here.
Which right about now looked the same.
She looked at me and I could see her expression soften but it died out as soon as Lucas pulled her away.
I watched them, not liking the moron controlling her, not understanding why she was letting him.
They went up the stairs and into a room and after waiting for a while I couldn't take it anymore. I went up the stairs and entered the dimly lit room to find a bunch of people getting high.
I could do with some bong rips right about now.
Kea was sitting on the bed near the circle of people who looked pretty comfortable in their dazed states. A few of them were taken aback to see me there but then went back to their turn on the bong.
Except; Kea, her eyes were still on me. Her expression, unreadable.
She moved her hand over the space beside her as a gesture for me to come over.
And for two seconds I contemplated how good an idea of us together on a bed would be considering the last time we didn't even need the bed.
And against my better judgement, I walked over and sat next to her anyway. Lucas was on the other side crushing some more pot.
I turned to her "Why are you here?"
"Geez don't be so happy to see me."
Great whenever I wanted answers she decided to be all fun and games.
But I wasn't in a mood to back down.
"You hate Lucas, Kea. And now you're acting like best friends, you can't expect me to think everything's okay."
She didn't speak, just kept looking straight, not a hint of emotion.
I got closer to her, whispering, "What does he have on you?"
That got her attention.
Obviously.
"Why is it so hard for you to believe that I'm just being nice without it having to do with people blackmailing me."
She sounded hurt by the end there.
Hurt, yeah right?
I must be imagining it.
"I know you can be nice Kea I've seen it in the tiny things you do. It's not that I don't believe you can be nice- it's the fact that you choose to be nice to a guy who has done nothing to deserve it." I was surprised at how heavy the statement I had made was. How I had admitted to noticing her.
She looked at me - a bit taken aback.
What? She couldn't believe that someone actually saw past her facade?
She looked away yet again and said to no one in particular.
"The fanatic is incorruptible: if he kills for an idea, he can just as well get himself killed for one; in either case, tyrant or martyr, he is a monster."
I nodded knowing the quote, "Emile M. Cioran."
"I was hoping you didn't know, then I could have sold it as mine." She gave me a wry smile.
"I would have believed you." I smirked, doing my best to mask the worry I felt now that I knew what she meant by the quote.
I always knew Kea Faye was hardened by the test of time.
But for the first time, I could actually see just how broken she felt. And the worst part was that she believed that she was beyond repair.
Now that... broke my heart.
Why did everything related to Kea affect me this fucking much?
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't come up with the answer, just more questions.
-.-.-
Faye
Around eight I got a call from Lucas. I owed him and he had called to collect, like a million times before.
He wanted me to come to this party he was throwing and I knew I didn't have a choice.
And perhaps for the first time, I didn't resist too hard either.
It was convenient, since everything I had tried to get my mind off Reyes had been a waste.
So without putting up much of a fight I reached Lucas's place an hour after the party had started, the music was blaring and people flowed out of the house .
I had made a mental note not to drink anything that Lucas offered. The bastards dying wish was to see me drunk dancing again.
Story for another time.
I opened the door to a few stares when Lucas came charging at me.
The moron couldn't hold a drink to save his life.
He put his arm around my neck and pulled me into the house.
He reeked of alcohol and I immediately felt sick by the overpowering smell.
I was trying to pull away when I saw him, his midnight eyes staring at me, questioningly.
I wanted to go to him, talk.
I'd gone to school with all the people here my whole life but somehow Reyes Wilder felt like the only familiar face here.
The trance we were in was broken when Lucas pulled me away to the only thing he knew I would be interested in.
The last I saw of Wilder was the lines of tension growing on his face as Lucas led me up the stairs to his room.
I knew this place inside out.
We had practically grown up together.
One of the guys passed the joint to me and I took a drag, passing it to the girl in the circle, when Reyes walked into the room rather unsubtly.
He scanned the room and the lines of tension on his face eased when his eyes landed on me.
I tried to squash whatever elation I felt at the idea that he was seeking me, but that didn't stop me from asking him to sit with me.
But then he asked me about what I owed Lucas.
And it all went to shit.
Was it that obvious?
There was no way I could tell him. I couldn't have another person treat me the way Lucas did.
Lucas treated me like I needed kindness - saving.
But Reyes he treated me like I could take anything he threw my way and I liked that. If he found out he would do what Lucas does now.
And so...I brushed it off.
He didn't buy my little black lie but didn't push me on it for now and that was enough.
The guy actually believed that I could be nice. Well, that was a first.
And I wasn't sure how I felt about it.
We smoked in comfortable silence, the weed was good, the music soft and the company... better than I had expected.
It took a total of four intense bong rips for Reyes's eyes to turn obliviously red.
I don't know why I was keeping track.
I guess I was high enough to care.
Everybody else around us had pretty much paired off or left or had passed out on the floor.
We lay in that room for what felt like hours but I knew had only been mere minutes.
When Reyes decided to open his otherwise perfect mouth.
"You're not beyond repair."
Probably in an attempt get me to be something other than defensive he continued "It's okay to accept when you're broken, Kea." He spoke so softly.. like I would break further if he wasn't careful.
But for me, that was what I had heard my mother say all my life.
'Accepting is the first step to getting cured.'
It rang in my head, I had gone over this almost like a routine.
I hated it- being treated like one of my mother's patients and the fact that Reyes was talking to me as though I needed a saviour, a little fixing. That. Pushed me over the edge.
I turned to him, I knew what he saw in my eyes- fire.
"You wanna see what actual broken looks like Reyes?" I said with a hellish smile.
This was the first time I had taken his name and I could see his body automatically grew tense.
He stared at me, trying to deal with the flames in my eyes.
Before he could say anything, I got up and walked out.
I went to the kitchen; the counter was littered with half empty bottles. I picked the one closest to me with a resolve I hadn't felt in quite a while.
To get absolutely fucking hammered.
He thought he knew how broken I was?
He had no fucking clue.
Little did I know or even realise then- I had nothing to prove to him. He didn't want to cure me, he just wanted to be a part of the carnage that was Kea Faye.
Reyes walked in a few seconds later, eyeing the bottle in my hand, he moved his tongue over his lower lip the way he always did when he was deliberating something. "What's the plan here?"
I opened the cap and before putting the bottle to my mouth, "Giving the kids something to talk about." I smirked at him, before draining the bottle, letting it burn my insides.
It was a familiar blaze.
The party was getting boring anyway.
-.-.-.-