Bonus Chapter- Calvin's Reasons to Live
(Takes place ten months earlier, in Chapter 1)
I woke up to the sound of another beer bottle making in contact with the floor. Immediately, my heart started racing as I jumped out of my bed to the other side of the room where Becca was. I hated when he was home. I hated feeling useless.
"Becca! Wake up, Erik is back, Erik is here," I gasp quietly as I looked at the bedroom door, keeping quiet to hear for any footsteps. My heart thumped erratically in my chest as Becca quickly shot up from the bed and made a beeline for the door to lock the door. She quietly grabbed the bat she kept near the door and I swallowed nervously. "Should we call Caleb?"
I knew the answer to that question but I took the chance to ask each time Erik acted out. Becca was seeing this guy in high school. His name is Caleb. He was nice and sweet to my sister. She said he was her guardian angel.
I frowned at that comment since guardian angels were supposed to protect the person.
I never understood that comment of hers.
Did I have one?
I don't know.
Did I need one?
I don't know.
She never told him what was happening at home. Even when I hear Caleb questioning over the phone, she'll make up a lie. They only started seeing each other, but she didn't want to tell him. She never asked for anyone's help.
I shook her head to my question.
I got all the blankets to try to block the door, trying to be as quiet as possible in the process to hopefully not remind Erik that we were just upstairs. Maybe Erik won't hit us today. Sometimes, he was too drunk to come up the stairs to beat us, but it really was based on luck itself.
Today, luck wasn't on our side when I heard the creaking of the staircase.
I gulped when we heard the creaking stairs as well as his mumbling.
"Bec..." I said, trailing off. I felt my heart pumping fast, my blood draining from my face and sweating hands. Becca backed away from the door when there was a huge banging on the door.
"Come out here, you fucking leeches," Erik yelled. I pushed myself to the end of the bed, terrified of out of my wits. I heard Becca curse next to me.
She only curses when she's afraid and mad.
She turned to me and I look up at her, confused.
She smiled.
I know she does it to try to calm me.
I wish I was older than her so I could protect her.
She knelt down till we were staring at each other, eye to eye. Gently, she nudged me under the bed and smiled. "Hide under the bed, Calvin. Don't come out no matter what you hear. Do you understand? Can you do that for me? Cover your eyes and ears?"
I nodded and quickly went under my bed as more thumping pursue before Becca unlocked the door. I covered my ears and shut my eyes.
___ ____ ___ ____ ___
I stared at my surroundings of the school blankly with my hands in my pocket, bored.
Knowing that I was standing close to 200 feet up from the roof, the impact from me hitting the ground would instantly kill me. The thought of me made me smile.
Senior year was finally here. The last year of freedom I was given when I went to school. After this, there would no longer be the need to wake up at five in the morning, there would be no more homework, no more anything.
"I could hardly wait," I mumbled to myself.
A light breeze picked up again as I made a lean forward again, but stopping myself once more.
I was so eager for the ending of everything as I stared down at the edge of the school's roof, feet already dangling a bit over the edge. The thought of death didn't really scare me, in fact, it seemed like I worshiped it. With Becca moving soon with Caleb to New York, my job as her protector was over.
Of course, there was my mom, but she was beyond saving at that point.
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaled, trying my best to relax myself. I was supposed to be free, but that was just an illusion. Erik wasn't going to let me be free, scared that I would stray off and tell the police or the government about his illegal works.
I tried to think of a happier time before Erik came into my life, but found it impossible.
Before my dad died of stage four lung cancer, I was happy, I think. I couldn't remember much about him since he died when I was so young. But from the remaining pictures I had of him and my family, we were happy.
When Erik entered the picture shortly after my mom fell apart of her remaining sanity, that was when everything changed. I did my best in order to help out but whenever I seemed to make even one little mistake, I was due for a beating.
He beat me with everything and anything, especially after Becca left.
He'll throw beer bottles at me.
He'll burn me with his cigars.
He'll hit me with just about anything in the house.
He'll do anything until he was satisfied with how much pain I was in.
How much blood was drawn.
The thought of the physical abuse made my blood run cold and my hands gripping in anger. Although I didn't look often on my body, I knew there was a lot of scars. But I couldn't tell anyone. Not that there was anyone to talk to anyways.
Besides Caleb.
He was too occupied with Becca to hear my problems, nor did I want his pity or sympathy in general. I didn't want anyone to think of me any less than a man for not being able to stand up for my family. I would if I could.
I would if my family would be put at risk for my actions.
I closed my eyes again, hearing the world around me.
Trying to think about the little thing that was good left in this world that God had given him.
Although it didn't matter anyways since there seemed to me more negative in his life that just pushes away all the things he was given with.
Even with an inheritance of everything after I turned 18 wasn't enough.
I needed a reason to continue going.
I needed a reason.
A reason to live.
Reasons to live.
A reason to keep going when everything seemed to be better to just end it.
I looked up at the sky, hoping God was listening.
Hoping maybe my dad was listening up there with God.
I remembered Becca telling me right before her brain injury about everyone having a guardian angel. Hell would I like to see mine right now, if possible. I stopped from leaping and thought about it. The coincidence would be too high, but I took my chance as I smiled at the sky. "Give me a reason to live."
A waited for a few seconds in silence. I wasn't sure why I even waited. God had left me long ago to save myself.
Five seconds ticked by.
Ten seconds ticked by.
By the time I counted to fifteen in my head, I raised one foot, ready to end it when a soft voice made me stop everything.
"C-Calvin...?"
I quickly spun as I made eye contact with her, eyes widened.
Maybe a part of me was going crazy for thinking that possibly God heard my prayers.
But what were the chances of that happening?
Reina Calverly.
She was it.
Mon ange.
My guardian angel.
My reason to live.