"Always remember that Allah's decisions are better than your wishes."
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I rubbed my hands together nervously as I walked down. Zaynah and her mom were standing right in the middle. I knew this was Maryan's another evil trick, but how could I convince Zayd's family to think so too?
"Yes?" I said politely as I went and stood in front of them.
"What is this?" she said as she pointed towards the envelopes on the ground. I looked at the envelopes and then at her. I didn't know what to say. What do I say?
"Hamna I asked you something!" her voice got loud which shook me. Her mother put her hand on Zaynah's shoulder as to calm her down. I gulped. "What about them?" I asked, staying as calm as I could. She picked up an envelope from the ground in rage and handed it to me.
"Read it and tell me what this is!" she spoke. I looked at her and then down at the letter in my hand. I didn't want to open it. I didn't want to read anything that was written in it. What will I reply about it? My hands were shaking as I opened it. I couldn't properly hold it to open it all the way. When I finally did, I saw nothing but hearts and colorful kisses stamps. I took a deep breathe before focusing on the wordings. I felt everyone staring at me. I felt like I was going to fall on the ground, but I kept standing with stiff feet as I read.
Dylan baby! Tomorrow Zayd and I are going on our honeymoon. I don't want to. I so wish it was you and not Zayd. One day when I can finally be confident, I will marry you. I hope you love me back. And don't worry about money. I have all of that planned out. Zayd's family is very rich. Anyway, I guess see you sometime later. Bye bye.. <3
Love, your dearest, Hamna. :)
My eyes got off the letter and now towards the smiling Maryan and the frowning Zaynah and Mrs. Siddiqui. I closed the letter and handed it back to Zaynah.
"I have no idea what this is", I said. Zaynah squinted her eyes. "Oh?" she said as she threw the letter down in rage. "Is there any other Hamna around?"
I could not get myself to speak at all. I looked down and then at her. "I didn't write that", I finally spoke up. I had never felt this confident and good in my life.
"Then who did?" Zaynah shouted. I stayed quiet. What do I tell her? She would never defend me against her cousin.
"Why Hamna? Zayd gave you everything you ever wanted. Love, wealth and most of all, happiness. He never made you upset or play with your feelings, then why did you? Why did you not respect him and his love?" Zaynah said as her voice got heavy and tears filled her eyes. "That was a very low step. Love letters to a non-muslim? I hate to call you my sister in law now. I wish I had looked beyond your good looks and had peeked a little in your character. Having a beautiful character is the real beauty but you... you have a very ugly character", she finished.
Hearing her call my character ugly, filled my eyes with tears. I tried holding back my tears but I couldn't. They started falling on my cheeks as I wiped one after another.
"Zaynah...", I croaked as she picked the letters up. "Let me explain."
She looked at me. "Let you explain why you were such a hypocrite to my brother?" she asked. I shook my head as her mother spoke up. "I made a mistake choosing you for my son. You're a disgrace to me, my family, and your family", she said as she walked to her bedroom. She had a disappointed look on her face and I didn't know how to tell them that I actually wasn't. I wasn't. I was a good girl and those letters were fake.
"I didn't write those, trust me", I said in between my tears. Zaynah glared at me. "Then who did?" she asked.
I felt a lump in my throat as I tried to speak. "Maryan", I finally said. Zaynah looked at Maryan and her smile suddenly faded away.
"What?" she pretended to be surprised. "Maryan, did you?" Zaynah asked.
Maryan glared at me as she came with an excuse. She shook her head as if she was disappointed about me lying. "Why would I write a love letter to my own brother? And why would I frame Hamna? What do I have against her?" she said. I furrowed my eyebrows as I walked up to her.
"What do you have against me?" I said. She stared at me blankly as I continued. "You have always been against me and my life. You can't stand to see me happy", I spoke firmly, while still keeping my voice low.
"Why would I be against you Hamna? I don't even know you properly", she pretended to be innocent. I shook my head in disappointment. I wiped the few tears that had fallen from my eyes and looked at Zaynah. She was closely listening to Maryan and I's conversation. I looked back at Maryan.
"Why would you be against me? Yeah.. that's the questions that's been circling in my mind for the last 3 years. Why would you be against me? Why would you betray me and use me like that?" I reminded her all that had happened 3 years ago. I had mistaken her for my friend while she only wanted money. She rolled her eyes. "What happened 3 years ago that you started thinking about it then?' she asked.
She was being stubborn and hardcore. I nodded my head and took a deep breathe before telling her off again.
"Remember the first day we met? You told me you wanted to be my friend and I fell for that", I said. "You told me Dylan was innocent and harmless and I fell for that."
"Hamna, hold up! Dylan is innocent, that wasn't a lie. What did he do that you thought he wasn't?" Maryan's voice got loud as she defended her brother. She still wasn't ready to admit her fake act and so I had to make her admit it.
"I fell in love with Dylan thinking he loved me back. I left my home to go away with him because I thought he loved me. Only after a few moments I realized it was a trap and you were a part of it. You're still going to deny everything?" I asked her, happy and relieved that I was finally up to her challenge.
"Deny what?" she said as her vicious smiled returned.
"That you and Dylan-
I stopped talking when I remembered Zaynah was standing right behind me. She had heard everything I just said to Maryan. She wasn't supposed to hear that. She wasn't supposed to know about my bad past. I shut my eyes as Zaynah came and stood in front of me. "Oh? So you were always this bad and sinful", she said with a relaxed expression. Why was she relaxed all of a sudden?
"Zaynah, it's a misunderstanding. That's not what I was saying", I said but it was already too late. She wasn't going to believe the real story.
"Just wait until Zayd gets home. I just can't believe I thought you were innocent", she said and walked up the stairs. I watched until she was out of sight. She didn't even give me any time to explain the real story. Maryan went back in her room, with Joshua following her. I was now standing alone. The sun's rays hit my face when the curtains moved and I had to blink. It was then I realized that my eyes were filled with tears. I kept standing still. Everything was wrong. Zaynah thought I was bad. I had repented. I wasn't the same Hamna anymore and I didn't write those letters. I feared the most about Zayd. I didn't know how he would react. This could be my last day in this house. I never wanted this to happen, yet fate always decides to play with me. I knew Allah was still there for me. And whatever happened later today, was His will. And I had to trust His decisions.
For the rest of the day, the whole family neglected and ignored me like I didn't even exist. When I went to get a glass of water from the kitchen, Zaynah didn't even move away from the fridge so I could get the water bottle out. I stood there for good 10 minutes before she decided to leave. I took the bottle out and drank the water. My throat was so dry and with every passing moment, my heart beat was getting faster. I kept pacing back and forth in the living waiting for Zayd. I didn't want him to know all that happened today, but a little voice inside was convinced that maybe Zayd would believe me. I felt knots in my stomache as the clock struck 7. Zayd was going to be here any minute now. I just prayed to Allah that Zayd would believe my side of the story and not Maryan's. I couldn't believe she created such a scenario just to get her revenge. I wondered if there was more to come when Zayd came home. I hope not.
I was sitting down when Joshua came into view. He was scratching the back of his head as he sat down on the couch next to me. I immediately stood up and sat down on the other couch. A sly smile escaped his lips. "Sweety, I don't bite", he said. I stared at him in disgust. Dylan's words echoed in my mind.
He wanted you for himself.
Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable being in front of him. He had seen me in my worst days. He had seen and watched me when I had no fear of Allah in my heart whatsoever. My heart ached everytime I thought about how I didn't think about what Allah will do if I betrayed his rules and orders. If only I had been wise and listened to what Allah says, I wouldn't have been in this situation.
I looked away and tried to ignore Joshua as he continued. "You have a beautiful face", he said. I kept looking the other way. I wanted to get up and go upstairs but somehow, I couldn't move myself. My body was stiff but I wasn't being bothered.
"Would you take my hand if I asked you to?" he asked and that was when I lost it. I glared at him and immediately stood up. A slight smile was occuping his face.
"I wouldn't take your hand even if I had to walk on burning coals", I replied and ran up the stairs and into my room. I was proud of myself for saying that. I had just told off a gangster. Could that count as a special skill or...?
I was smiling to myself when I heard Zayd's voice from downstairs and immediately my smile disappeared. The sweat and the funny feeling in my stomache returned and all I wanted to do was curl in a ball and hide under the bed. I wished none of this happened and I hadn't said all that in front of Zaynah. How could I be so foolish and forget that she was right there? All this time, I had made all sorts of compromises just so Zayd's family wouldn't know about my horrible past. And all that just washed away in seconds. Allah was definitely testing me. I had to stay strong and trust His decisions. What else could I do anyway? We're all powerless in front of Allah's wills.
I built some courage and walked downstairs, where Zaynah, her mother, Maryan and Joshua were standing. I knew they would be. But it didn't look like Maryan and Zaynah were telling Zayd the same story.
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Sorry for the late update. I was super busy and writing was the last thing I had in mind.
Anyway, thanks for reading and until the next update, Chao!
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