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|🌀|CHAPTER:61|🌀|
Funny reality#1; as much as you want to change your life according to how you like it, it will end up the opposite way.
funny reality#2; no matter how much you wish you can change the way of things, you won't be able to.
Funny reality#3; the more you wish, the more you desire something, the more you love something, the more you need something, the harder it gets for you to reach it and the more out of reach it gets.
Funny reality#4; when you want something so bad, you keep asking for it, and finally you get it. But with it there is a huge price that you have to pay. At that moment you regret even pestering God for that. Because the price is so big, your life might end paying it off.
Funny reality#5; certain times, you would want to go back in time and reverse everything so that you could right your wrongs. But thing don't work that way. Which is the saddest reality of all.
"Mr. Richard is in the hospital!"
My eyes stayed glued on the stranger that had the big announcement. Mom let out a shriek and ran towards the guy. It was hard to process anything. I felt like my mind was moving round in circles.
The whole crowd immersed into murmurs while my eyes went back to Lucas who had been frowning now. "It's going to be okay," he whispered, holding me close. "Take a deep breath and relax. Let the hall get cleared. Okay?"
Not even a minute had passed and Lucas's family was running out. Soon all photographers had followed them out of the hall. I didn't know if I should've cried or laughed. He was, after all, my real father. Even if I wanted to react like a daughter would, I did not feel that extremity of sadness. Of course the news had an affect on me but I couldn't react how mom did. And it made me guilty. My selfishness, my carelessness and lack of sadness was drowning me into a sea of remorse.
I wanted to cry and run towards the hospital, like a daughter would but I didn't feel like it. It was the right thing to do but it didn't feel right. A presence beside me made me aware of the fact that Lia and Maddy were still there. Lia patted my back and side hugged me, trying her best to comfort me.
Comfort. I was sure I didn't deserve any of it. The sudden shock had me completely paralyzed. It was clear that the wedding was to extend but I didn't feel relieved. What I was feeling at that time was accountability, guilt and regret.
I had wished for the marriage to stop but I wouldn't have wanted it to go this way, I would have never. I hated my father but he was a human. This feeling of being responsible for the accident started to form a hole inside my heart. I was dying inside. And I couldn't do anything.
My mind was completely exhausted and even standing straight was hard. My heartbeat had accelerated so high, it seemed like my heart would explode of the pressure. The pain in my whole body was nothing compared to the increasing pain in my chest. It was not the pain for what happened to him. It was for the realization of the reason for what happened to him.
"Lia-Lucas– p-please take me to Richard. I'm... I'm so so sorry. I never– wanted it. I'm s-so-so sorry. It-" black dots started to appear before me as I held onto Lucas for support, my breathing short and broken. "I'm s-sorry- it just-" before I could say anything more, darkness engulfed me.
* * * * *
Stretching my body, I yawned. Realization struck me as I felt myself laying on a bed that was not mine. My eyes opened up to witness my surroundings representing a hospital room. Sitting up, I dragged my body ahead trying to get hang of all the things that happened.
My eyes caught a movement outside my room's door and I looked up to meet with the sight of a curious looking Lucas. His smile was wide as he entered the room. "You're awake, I see."
"Yeah. How's-"
"For how long you hadn't slept?" He interrupted me.
"Uh- I was kinda... um, sleep never came. I hadn't had proper sleep in almost two weeks. Even if I was sleeping, my mind was always awake, thinking about stuff."
"And food? How long have you been starving yourself?"
"Lucas, I didn't starve myself. I just... I couldn't eat okay?"
"And to think all of it was because of me, I don't know how do I correct it. It's like I'm being punished fir something." He continued, "I need you to know that I care about you, I like you Sophie. And definitely not as a sister or a friend. But I know, you're not rightfully mine. You can't be mine. Because that guy out there has your heart locked. And I'll be more than happy to do anything to reunite you guys. I promise." I stared up at him, nodding like an idiot as I was too shocked to utter anything.
Lucas liked me.
Carter was outside.
Lucas chuckled, bringing me out of my train of thoughts. A sudden urge of knowing about Richards health grew inside of me. "Lucas, how's Richard? I mean he's fine, right?"
"He's in the operation theatre. The operation has been carried out fine. Now we're waiting fir him to wake up. I'm sure he'll be alright. Don't worry, okay?" His words were like a sharp knife to my chest. The heaviness increased as I realized I could've been the reason for someone's death. I wanted a miracle to happen, to have my marriage canceled and God did it this way.
It was all my fault. I was the reason a human was struggling some minutes earlier in the operation theatre.
"He's going to be okay, right?" I found myself questioning. I needed to see him but I couldn't face Carter in my way. Going out to watch Richard would mean meeting with the sight of Carter– that, I couldn't do.
"He's going to be fine. Don't worry, he'll be perfectly fine. You know, you need to eat something. You fainted because of excess weakness. Come on sit up, I'll go get food for you. Oh, maybe I should leave you to talk to Carter...?"
"No Lucas. Please just.... I just want to be alone for a while. Just let me know about Richard's condition time by time okay?" I asked, laying back on the bed again.
"No Carter then?"
"Exactly. Lucas I can't face him. I can't face that look he is giving me ever since he has known." Sadness accumulated in my heart as I realized that Carter had been waiting outside for me but I couldn't face him. I didn't have enough power in me to meet those eyes of Carter's.
"What about food? You need to have something in your system. Please, I'll get something to eat for you, okay?"
"I can't eat anything right now-"
"But you've to eat something, anything. You need to eat. I'll bring something really tasty for you," he argued.
"No Lucas! I said I don't want to eat. Why can't you understand that?!" After it was out, I regretted how my tone sounded. I didn't mean to shout but his constant questions and statements irritated me.
"I'm sorry. I just- I want to sleep, okay? I'll eat later, I promise. Can you please, let me rest? Please?" The last thing I could do was rest. With all the things running through my mind I could neither sleep, nor have any amount of rest. But I needed to get Lucas away from me and that was the only thing I could think of.
Laying in the bed, all kind of thoughts ran through my mind. I couldn't help but regret my selfishness. If I hadn't been so hell bent on stopping my marriage, my own father wouldn't have been struggling to live– he would've been happy dancing, enjoying the money he'd gotten from that marriage.
Sighing, I closed my eyes as I tried to clear my mind off things and think rationally. As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard my room's door open. Thinking it was Lucas, I didn't open my eyes pretending to be sleeping. The footsteps became louder making me aware of the nearness of him.
The familiar scent engulfed me, clouding my mind like it always did. It was so relaxing, I didn't want it to ever leave. I wanted to remain engulfed in this contending scent and enjoy the warmth and satisfaction it provided.
It was Carter's scent.
Just as I figured out it was him, I was glad I decided to close my eyes. I felt Carter's fingers clearing my head of unnecessary hair that hung above my eyes. His hands tucked all those stray strands behind my ear as I felt him placing a kiss on my head. His touch was so comforting, I craved for more. I wanted to be near him, to have him hug me, kiss me, stay by my side but it was impossible.
"Sparkle, I bought food. You need to eat, you know? You have become so weak, it is painful to watch." His hands cupped my cheeks as my heartbeat accelerated.
Carter, please don't do this to me.
"I have never loved anyone like I love you, Sparkle. But I guess, like you said, we are not meant to be. God has different plans for us," I could clearly hear the sadness seeping out of him. A cold material made contact with my skin as I felt his scent fading away.
He was finally giving up.
He was giving up on us.
It pained me. I wanted to shout out loud. To stop him. To tell him how much I loved him and how much I wanted him. I wanted to reach out to him, just for once, I wanted to be selfish and care about my happiness and nothing else, to follow my heart. But my mind did not let me follow my heart.
I wanted him all for myself, yet I wanted to save his life. Both of these were not possible. I had to compromise on either of these. My selfishness had almost costed me the life of my own father and I did not want another person in this position because of my happiness. A sigh left my mouth as I heard the door being closed.
Carter had left. I opened my eyes and searched for the thing Carter had left for me. It was a toy star. A sparkling silver star. Last time when he visited me, he left a butterfly. Like it was his thing to bring me toys. The star looked like the cutest thing I could ever see. I had no idea how even he finds such cute toys.
A smile made its way on my face as I stared at it. Slowly, my lips curved downwards, tears pooling my eyes. Beside me, there was a tray containing a plate of French fries and a glass of shake that I knew Carter had left.
Reaching out for the tray, I started to eat the fries. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks. I didn't notice when Lucas entered into my room. He started to come towards me while taking in the sight of the mess that I was. "Hey, shh," he ran towards me and hugged my frame. "Sophie, what happened?"
I knew my tears were messing Lucas's shirt but it didn't matter. "Lucas– Carter. He-he,"
"I know. Don't cry. Everything will be alright Sophie. We'll work it out, okay? Shh." He patted my head while trying to calm me down. "Plus, you shouldn't be crying because I have a good news. Your dad is awake. He was asking for you."
"Richard is awake? Is he alright? What do the doctors say?"
"Doctors say that he's healing fine. He's perfectly fine for now and wants to see you. So finish up the fries and go meet your dad."
"He wants to m-meet m-me?" I found myself asking to which Lucas replied with a nod.
I felt relieved, like a huge stone had been lifted off my chest. I couldn't wait to see with my own eyes if he was okay. I couldn't wait to meet him. "Lucas... is Carter– is he still outside...?"
"No, he's not outside. He left. Talking about Carter, you eat when he brings food but not when I do? I'm hurt." I didn't know how to reply to that kind of statement of his. I ate because Carter said it was painful for him to watch me like that. And he bought food with love, I couldn't reject his love deliberately when I had the choice to accept it.
"God, I'm kidding! Come on let's go meet Richard." With that, he grabbed my hand and started to walk outside.
We walked further on the floor as I took in my surroundings. Lucas stopped before a door and I followed. Standing there, I tried to muster up the courage to enter into the room. Lucas gestured towards the door, nodding encouragingly at me.
Mom's voice was what I heard when I entered into the room. "Sophie, how are you feeling now?" She sprang up from her seat and walked towards me.
Before I could answer, Richard questioned, "what happened to her?"
"I guess I'll leave you guys to talk," saying that, mom left the room.
My gaze lingered on the floor as I walked towards Richard with slow steps. "What happened to you?" He asked once again.
"I... I just fainted. Because of... low sugar level or something... um, how are you feeling?" He laughed a little. I looked up to meet his eyes for the first time in my life.
"I feel like someone who just stood up after being dead."
"I was afraid you'd di- I was afraid when I heard about... your accident." I let out, regretting how my words came out.
"I'm okay now. Besides there's nothing to be scared off because I won't stop being the evil character of all of your stories anytime soon," he stated. I nodded, having no idea what to reply.
I stood there, awkwardly, playing with my fingers when he spoke, "sit down, I won't bite. Plus, remember you told me you could be as much of a pain as I am?"
I thought back to the day he had slapped mom. Sadness filled my heart. "I'm sorry, Sophia." My head snapped up to him, trying to understand what his words meant. I was certain I had misheard.
"W-what?"
"I'm apologizing for everything I have ever done to you. I'm truly sorry."
"W-why?"
"This accident made me realize how incredibly wrong I had been. If I had died today, to my grave I'd been carrying this huge weight with me. I know you might not be very happy with me still alive, but I plan on changing that. I'm sorry, I really am."
"Why do you hate me so much?"
"That's a story for another time. What you need to do now, is run and get your boy," he let out, positioning himself so that he could see me without an effort.
"L-Lucas?"
"And people call you smart? Yeah, go get Lucas," rolling his eyes at me, he gestured towards the door. As confusing as it sounded I walked towards the door because from what I had gathered, he wanted me to go to Lucas.
"Get my sarcasm woman! I meant to say, go get your Carter." With wise eyes, I looked at him. I didn't know if it was reality anymore. I blinked severally, trying to get my brain working in such a scenario.
"Carter?"
"Yes. You're free to love whoever you want. Marry whoever you want, date whoever you want and live with whoever you want. Who am I to stop you?" I was too shocked to think of anything. It was a good thing but felt so surreal, believing it seemed like foolishness.
"You will not do anything to Carter if I go to him, right?" With shaky voice, I asked.
"Carter will remain untouched. But there is a condition. I need you to make me Nutella and butter sandwich. The one you made some months back!" The man before me was not my father. I could not believe he was the same man. Did they transplant someone else's heart in his body? Because Richard didn't have a heart like this.
"You liked it?" I didn't feel anything. Happiness was not entering into my heart. Like my heart was so sure this was an illusion, it didn't let any of this affect it. It was blocking and dodging, playing safe rather than falling for the unreal. But when I looked at the sincerity-filled eyes of Richard I couldn't help but believe there was a chance of it being true.
You're dreaming Sophia, you idiot shit. You're dreaming. Don't get so happy.
"You're not dreaming.... wait," with that, I was met with a sudden splash on my face that startled me. A gasp left my mouth as I realized Richard had just thrown water at me. "See," his smirk looked anything but unreal.
Happiness blossomed inside me like a flower. My heartbeat quickened, gleaning all that had happened. Impatience was like a spark inside of me. I could bet the smile on my face resembled a demented clown.
"Stop wasting time, go find Carter! The offer is only valid for a few more minutes. The cus-"
"Thankyou! Thankyou! Thankyou so much Richard!" He chuckled at me while lightly shaking his head.
"You really want to thank someone? Thank those two little friends of yours. They've got mouths, I must say. Specially the one with weird hair!" My mind couldn't wrap around whatever he was saying.
The happiness head like a flood, drowning me completely in the pleasurable ecstasy.
I am free.
I am free!
Oh my God! I have Carter!
I am free!
I wanted to shout out to the world and so I did. The people around me could assume anything they wanted, all I cared about was that I was free to do whatever I wanted. I was free to love my Carter. To them it was just some girl dressed up in hospital clothes with a whole factory of makeup on her face, carrying a birds nest on her head.
They didn't know how crazy I had been the days earlier. They didn't know how I was feeling when I got to know I could have Carter, my love back. Oh God!
In between my happy-dance, I crashed into someone. "Would you look at this?! This is the happiest I have ever seen you! You look like you've won the whole world!"
"Lucas! I have won something greater than world! I've won my Carter back!" Cheerfulness dripped off my words as I shouted them to the whole hospital. Pressing a kiss to Lucas's cheek, I continued skipping ahead. "I'm going to Carter's house! Love you!"
Stopping in my tracks, I thanked God. I shouldn't have doubted his powers. He could do anything, anytime. I realized, whatever happens is for good and God has better plans for us then we do. So leaving things on him ends up in good way, no matter what. He loves us and wants what is best for us.
I wouldn't have been able to feel this happiness if all of that hadn't happened. I wouldn't have been able to identify the importance of love, importance of Carter. If all of this hadn't happened, I wouldn't have known how it feels to have something you love beyond infinity back in your life after it had been snatched away from you.
I love you, God. I love you! You're awesome, more than that, more than I can express.
Funny reality#6; miracles do happen. This world is full of them.
* * * * *
TELL ME WHAT EDITING NEEDS TO BE DONE BECAUSE I WROTE UT IN A HURRY.
IT DOES NOT SEEMED RUSH, DID IT?
Don't you think the book ended.
No.
It is still going on.
There is something else coming up. But yeah it's ending soon. Very soon.
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