I can confess that I wanted a magic movie scene. One where I stood in line to board my plane and this kid running like mad through the airport came and confessed his deep love for me and kissed me as a circle of people surrounded us and clapped. But this is also the real world and that doesn't exactly happen too often.
My flight was nearly six hours, non-stop. I slept for the last four hours with my head resting on the window. When we landed, I woke up and looked over with a smile only to have the reminder that the seat was empty and Luke wasn't with me. Even when I turned my phone on after the long flight, there wasn't one text or call from him.
I met up with Michael and Ashton who had picked me up from the airport. They'd all planned to be in the same area for spring break, but it was only the couples that were staying in the little beach house Calum had. We spent most of the day together, mostly on the beach or just roaming the town. It was small and laid back, just where I had imagined myself in a few years.
I let the two boys in on what went down between me and Luke since there was the fact that Luke hadn't come off the plane with me. I guessed he just wanted some space, but they told me that nearly 3,000 miles was enough space and that Luke more than likely is bothered by something else that wasn't me.
I was in bed at 10pm which was 1am at home and exhausted wasn't a strong enough word to describe how I felt. I was picking apart the pieces of what had happened between me and Luke to figure out what happened and what everything meant and I eventually I gave up. I was tired and upset or mad or something that I couldn't even manage to comprehend.
I slept for six hours before I woke up at 4am. I woke up to an unfamiliar room and an empty bed and mixed emotions. But there was no emotion to distract me from feeling the ache in my chest and emptiness in my fingertips.
I sat up and looked around the dark room, the only thing giving me sight was the small night light in the corner of the room. My feet dangled off the queen bed before I decided to get up and go sit in the kitchen. Since Calum and his girlfriend were coming tomorrow night, or technically today, I hadn't had anyone to casually bump into at this time of night and spill my thoughts to.
I sighed as I rummaged through the fridge for a drink, doing really anything to distract me from my thoughts that had been lingering for so long. I checked the time and realized that this time yesterday Luke and I were yelling at each other for the dumbest reason. Sure, he was in a bad mood and he didn't like something I said, but that doesn't give either us a good reason to say some things that we shouldn't have.
I buried my head in my hands for a moment, sighing a few times as things kept replaying in my head. My thoughts soon soothed over and my head seemed empty for a second right before a loud thud was heard outside of the house. I jumped at the noise, not expecting it especially this late at night.
I sat in my chair since I was rather scared and didn't know what to do. I heard some shuffling and decided to get up and at least peep through the side window to see what was going on. The closer I headed towards the door the louder the sound of the waves seemed to get. I put my hand on the lock as I pulled back the small curtain to see who was standing outside. I unlocked the door and pulled it open slowly, the smell of the sea water soothing me as the cool air gave me goosebumps.
Their back was turned to me, as if they were watching the waves instead of knocking on the door. They turned around, dressed head to toe in black with a suitcase in hand.
"Um, hi." Luke spoke, his voice soft and sleepy.
"Hi." I breathed out, unsure of how I should react since I couldn't tell how he was dealing with the situation right now.
"I took a red-eye flight, took off half past midnight. Midnight at home, of course." He told me since he knew I would ask about it anyways. I simply nodded my head, glancing down to the suitcase in his hands. "How about I set this down and we can go talk?" He suggested, already jumping on his actions and stepping inside to put his things down.
I took a step back and watched as he set his luggage right next to the door. He stood up right and peered down at me. My arms were wrapped tightly around myself as I nervously bit at my bottom lip. Luke wasn't making me nervous, if anything I was happy that he was standing right in front of me. I was nervous of what he was going to say.
He led the way out, snatching a beach towel that hung over the balcony. We were on a path to a private beach and he stopped as we reached a fence.
"Luke, I don't think we can go in here." I told him, speaking over the waves that were only so far from us.
"No one's bought these houses yet, no one will catch us. We're okay." He assured me as he opened the gate to let me through. His smile was the cause of mine and there seemed to be a huge weight off my shoulders.
We neared the water, laying out a blanket about twenty feet from the shoreline. Close enough to listen to the waves, but not close enough to be touched by them.
He laid the towel down and we both sat down, facing the water. He sat with his legs stretched out as did I, but since his were a lot longer it made me want to laugh, but I wasn't too sure if it was the most appropriate time. We were both resting on our hands behind us, maybe an inch between our hips.
"California is pretty, isn't it?" he said, looking over to me.
"Yeah." I answered, smiling as I looked out at the water lit up by the moon. I heard him sigh and I glanced over to him.
"Autumn, I-" he started, unsure of where he was going with his words. He stopped for a second, shaking his head as it fell. He picked his head back up and looked out ahead then back over to me. "I messed up, didn't I?" he asked, his voice breaking just the slightest amount.
I filled the empty space between us, "Listen to me," I began, looking right into his tired eyes. "We both did. We both mess up a lot, actually, but that's okay. It's all okay. Just because this time was a little different doesn't mean that it's the end of the world." I explained to him, bringing my knees to my chest.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I yelled at you like that." He buried his face in his hands. "I mean, my girlfriend, my best friend, my whole goddamn world." He muttered, making my heart melt just a little from how disgustingly cute he was at times. "I'm stupid sometimes, I'm sorry." He apologized again and I bit at the inside of my cheek to keep myself from smiling like an idiot.
"It's two sided, it's not all your fault." I chuckled, which is when he leaned onto my side just a little too much and knocked us both to the ground. Luckily the towel was big enough to keep both of us out of the sand. We were both on our backs now as we stared up at the sky.
He sighed, "I know, but frankly I'm too far afraid of letting you slip through my fingers to let you take the blame for this when in reality I'm just a big asshole." He spoke quickly, almost too quickly to where I couldn't understand what he was saying.
"You aren't an asshole." I told him. "And we're just some kids trying to get our lives together. I think we're doing okay." I peered over to him to see that he looked rather occupied with his thoughts by the way his eyebrows were furrowed and he we tugging on his lip ring again.
We laid like this in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's presence. It was calm and peaceful and I was glad I was spending it with Luke by my side. I inhaled deeply, taking in my surroundings.
"I'm in love with the sound of waves." I said quietly, not really sure if Luke had even heard me.
"And I'm in love with you." He spoke just as soft as I did, his hand making it's way to mine and lacing his fingers with mine loosely.
I turned my head to him, and he soon followed. He seemed expressionless, as if he hadn't just made my breath hitch and my heart stop or my head spin by him telling my he loved me. A small smile pulled at my lips and he had one to match.
"Really?" I asked, looking up into his eyes.
"Yeah." He whispered, replying instantly. I nodded slowly a few times, gripping onto his hand.
"I'm in love with you too." I said. It surprised me how well the words seemed to flow between us, like we'd been saying it forever. We'd heard each other say that we loved each other, but not once have we heard 'I'm in love with you'.
He inched closer to me, nuzzling his head right into the crook of my neck and leaving a light kiss under my ear. He pulled back, looking over every inch of me.
"I love you like this." He told me, which made me a little confused. "I can see the few freckles on your face that are always covered up and your hair is tied up with the same stupid blue elastic that's always around your wrist and you look a little sleepy and your lips are a little more pink since you've been biting them and-"
"Shut up." I laughed. He responded by rolling over on top of me with an arm on either side of me.
"No, I won't shut up." He told me, raising his eyebrows at me. "You have really pretty eyes, too. Have I ever told you that? Well, I'm telling you now. I love every part of you, including your curvy sides that I know you don't like and your butt." He rambled on, making it seem that he could go on forever.
"Oh my God." I mumbled, my cheeks burning a bit.
"And when you no longer have curvy sides and the butt of a 19 year old, then I'll still be in love with you because I fell in love with the way you speak and your mind and your thoughts before I realized that every inch of you was just as special." He continued, his hands going to either sides of my face
"Stop." I giggled, his warm finger tips brushing over my cheeks.
"Okay, I was done anyways." he said. He quickly leaned down to kiss me as if he didn't right that second I'd disappear into thin air. "I also like kissing you, you're a great kisser." He added before moving down to press his lips to mine again. My hands went to his back, pulling him closer to myself.
"Thanks, you aren't too shabby yourself." I answered as I pulled back from him for a second. I had felt breathless just by the way he had kissed me. He smiled and continued on, deepening it just a little more.
His teeth tugged at my bottom lip a few times, since he knew that was one of my favorite things he did. It drove me mad. I took things from there and slid my tongue across his bottom lip and my fingers subconsciously grazed up his sides. He lowered his body onto mine even more, there was barely any space between us to begin with and now there surely was none.
"Oh my God," He muttered onto my lips. He let out a breathy laugh, "I am so in love with you." he said, repeating it again. "And I get to say that all the time now." He smiled as one of his hands left the side of my face and he gripped onto my sides, letting things become more passionate.
My hands moved up his chest and settled on his shoulders, which I soon started tugging at the collar of his t-shirt. He broke apart from me and pulled it over his head. His hands fumbled around with the tie on my pajama shorts and slipped his hands under the waistband to pull them off. He tossed them to the side and let them land right where his shirt was.
He seemed nervous tonight, even after all the times we've been in this same position. His breath was shaky and he would flinch a little every time I did something that made him feel just a little too good. He took things slow this time and made sure he was giving me the most he could.
His lips had been over every part of my body at this point and I had done the same to him. Things were a little different this time, easier maybe, but definitely a good different. I felt secure with him, that there was no way either one of us would be running away, especially when things got a little difficult.
We were both completely exposed without a blanket let alone a roof to hide under. Luke had just thrown his wallet aside to where the rest of our clothes were, his hands running up my thighs to part them. We both threw our heads backs just the slightest amount once we got adjusted to each other as the crashing waves blocked out any faint sounds we had made.
His fingers lightly curled under my chin, getting me to look up at him as his hips rocked against mine. He leaned down to me and put his forehead to mine. His heavy breath tickled my parted lips, letting him take my bottom lip in between his lip every so often.
He grabbed my hands, pulling me up and towards him as he fell onto his back. We both erupted into giggles as I swung a leg on either side of him. I placed my hands over his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat literally in the palm of my hands. He wrapped his fingers around my wrists, giving himself a second to readjust and actually take the moment in.
I tucked a falling strand of hair behind my ear once his hands went back to my hips again. He gave me a gentle smile before I started getting back into rhythm which ended in me collapsed on his chest, taking in a few deep breaths. I felt Luke grip onto my forearms and push me up off his chest with his t-shirt in hand.
I slipped it over my head without word as he struggled to get his boxers back on. He stared up at me, putting his hands behind his head as I traced random patterns over his chest.
"I could watch you all day." Luke said, taking my attention from the shapes I was drawing that tickled him.
"You say that because I'm practically naked right now." I quietly told him, shaking my head at him.
He sighed, "I love you."
I smiled, "I love you too."
-
A/N:
their first "i love you" and luke decided to say "i'm in love with you" because he's a sappy piece of shiT
this was dirty i am (not) sorry
i hope u liked this :')
ALSO THIS IS NOT OVER YET THERE'S ABOUT 10 CHAPTERS LEFT!!!!
update:
LUKE GLOVED BEFORE HE LOVED
also they're on a private beach at 4am who will see them no one