Posted on June 11th, 2017 | Edited on November 9th, 2018
| . . . C H A P T E R - 2.16.1 : A W A K E . . . |
The next morning, I woke up earlier. Or, it was the fact that I barely slept. The previous night when Arnav had been by my side, despite being disturbed, I had found it easier to fall asleep with him holding my hand. Tonight, I couldn't. I felt restless being in a strange bed by myself.
When it was six, I got up and decided to just take a shower instead of staying in bed longer and staring at the empty ceiling. I decided to go down to get something to eat. Anjali was already in there preparing breakfast with Hari Prakash.
"Good morning." She greeted.
I greeted back, "Morning. Anything I can help you with?"
She dismissed, "Thanks, but I'm almost done." An alarm went off on her phone and seeing that her hands were dirty from the flour she was using to fry pakoras, she asked, "Could you?" I nodded, walked over to her phone, and silenced the alarm. In the process I read the name the alarm was saved as.
I smiled and started to walk out. She stopped me, "Where are you going? Don't you want breakfast?"
"I do, but I figured I'd help you out today and go wake up your chote."
She laughed at the word I used to refer to Arnav. No one else but Anjali used that word for him, and it was obvious. He was her little brother. Who else would call him that? "Thank you."
"No problem!" I spoke over my shoulder, making my way up the stairs towards his room. I also realized this was Anjali's phone, which meant it was there yesterday morning. I had thought Arnav was turning off the alarm on his phone, but it had been Anjali's.
Did that mean Anjali had come into the room sometime during the night, and seeing Arnav there, had left her phone in there so he would wake up by himself and she wouldn't have to come in to wake him up in the morning and make it awkward for us? If that was the case, I somewhere appreciated the gesture. I wasn't mortified learning she had seen us. I honestly didn't know how I would have reacted if I had woken up to Anjali waking us up.
As I walked to his room, I remembered a few things Anjali and Arnav had said. It had to do not only with my dad getting me married, but also the person he was going to get me married to.
"He was going to get you married to...!"
"After knowing the guy your father had picked for you to marry... after learning who that was, even I wouldn't have let you marry him."
"I help you and in return, I marry whoever I want to without your interference."
I figured one thing out. Arnav was not my father's original choice. Arnav was the one who had approached him after finding out, but... who was the guy? And Anjali's words... she herself said she knew the guy. Did the knowledge of the guy's identity prompted Arnav into making this deal with my father?
Why? What was about this guy that Anjali was displeased, the one female I have met in my life who always has a smile on her face, is kind to everyone, and holds favorable thoughts for all around her?
I had to ask Arnav.
Entering his room, I saw him sleeping on his stomach. The blanket pooled by his waist, leaving an exposed bare back. His face was partially hidden by his arms. "Arnav?" I called out, breaking the silence in the room. He didn't respond and seemed to be in deep sleep.
Something compelled me to sit at the edge of the bed. For a second, I simply watched him. He didn't move at all. He seemed to be at peace, his breathing even spaced. I recalled the faint smile on his face last night when I had replied to Armaan, confirming I would stay here and that the interaction with his uncle wasn't going to scare me away. I had made a vow to myself to get things back in order with Arnav and me. I had promised myself that this time, I would stick by him and give him as many chances as he needed, no matter how many arguments we had along the way.
That smile... it had confirmed for me just how much he wanted for me to stay, how much he needed that, how much it meant to him that I made that decision. This guy... sometimes, I don't understand him. I really do wish I could read his mind to learn in clear terms what he feels for me. It would help so much instead of having to keep playing these guessing games and relying on what others imply.
I exhaled and whispered aloud, not thinking about whether or not he would wake up and hear me talking. "Why do you fight it? You want my forgiveness. My anger hurts you. Everyone says you don't let anything affect you... then why me? You say you don't care what anyone thinks of you, then why does it matter what I think of you? You say your family is incomplete without me but what if I can't be what you need? I know... you won't hurt me. I trust you, even when I swore to myself I wouldn't trust you again. You always manage to get me even in my darkest moments but I don't know why it scares me, Arnav. What if things become difficult for you again and you push me away again? I can't... I don't want to lose you again. I..."
He stirred, and I stopped talking at once. His eyes fluttered open seconds later as I held my breath, worrying if he heard me and if so, just how much? He groaned at the sudden brightness invading his view. When he turned to move to his side, his eyes fell on me. "Were you saying something?"
I assume he woke up due to all my talking. I lied, "Yeah, I've been trying to wake you up the last five minutes."
He gave me a wary look. I assume it was him deciding whether or not to believe that. Then, he spoke, "Well, did you say my name? I usually wake up right away hearing my name."
"Well, I did call you Lord Governor. You didn't wake up." I answered, throwing in a pinch of sarcasm while my heart was going crazy worrying if he had overhead me talking and if so, just how much? See, Khushi, this is why you don't act like those TV actors who talk out loud to themselves because someone always overhears!
He rolled his eyes and sat up, "Sweet pea, don't start this the first thing in the morning."
I chuckled at his irritation. He ran his hand through his hair. His muscles flexed as he lifted them, and I found my eyes traveling away from his face. Without meaning to, I questioned, "Why do you guys sleep without a shirt?"
"The same reason you girls find it comfortable to sleep in our oversized tees." He commented, not paying too much attention to my question and taking it lightly.
I felt the need to point out, "Hey, I wear my own oversized tees."
He snorted, "Yes, because you are the only one who buys a size bigger. All other girls steal their boyfriends' shirts."
"Yeah, okay," I mumbled. "No need to remind me of my outfits back in college."
"How did we get on this topic anyway?" He suddenly questioned, making me think he was just now truly waking up and getting all of his senses.
"Never mind," I refused to remind him of the question I had originally asked. If I did, this time, he wouldn't have let it go as easily. He would have found a way to tease the life out of me first, and then let the topic go. "Di sent me to wake you up. You're awake. My job is done. Bye."
"Wait," He said, but I had already stood up, "Are you sure you weren't saying anything before? I swear I heard you talking."
I shook my head and meekly lied, "Nope, just waking you up." I tried to leave before he would have a chance to speculate.
He, however, was quicker and reached for my hand. My breath hitched, only because it was unanticipated. By now, he had held my hand enough times for me to get comfortable to it without freaking out. I turned to face him when he remained silent to see why he held my hand.
He blinked away from our hands when I hadn't tried to tug them out of his hold and stepped out of bed. I tried to keep my eyes to his face so they wouldn't have to meet his bare torso. It somewhere made me uncomfortable.
"Can we talk for a second?" He requested.
My reflex was to say no because I was still worried it might have to do with what I was saying when I thought he was sleeping. Then, I asked myself why I was running from it. If I had the guts to say it to him when his eyes were closed, what difference did it make for him to have heard it?
So, I meekly nodded and made a request of my own. "Shirt, first."
He glanced down at himself as if it finally dawned on him that it was making my uneasy. "Yeah," he whispered and released my hand to walk a few steps around me to grab the nearest shirt thrown carelessly on the lounge chair and put it over his head.
I released a deep breath once he was fully clothed and cleared my throat. "So... talk about what?"
"Last night..." I turned to face him as he talked, "Uh, I guess, thank you for staying."
I nodded, offering an alternate justification, "Yeah, you know, Riddhima and Armaan hog the bathroom in the morning with everyone trying to leave at the same time and then I am rushed into eating breakfast. No such problem here. I have my own bathroom, so..."
He glanced at me a second longer as if debating if I was serious and this was the only reason. Then, he chuckled, "Right. Totally understandable." I get the feeling he knew this was an excuse but as I smiled back, he didn't push me to admit that. "And, uh, di sort of suggested this yesterday. If we'll have the engagement ceremony again, since you know, last time the circumstances weren't..."
Even as he trailed off, I understood what he meant. With only a week after dad suffering a heart attack, the circumstances were less than ideal, adding to it the estranged relationship between Arnav and I as a result.
He continued when I didn't answer right away, "She was going to talk to your mom but I told her to wait. I wanted to ask you first. If you don't want..."
I complied, "Yeah, that's actually a good idea. And, mom will worry less. I mean, we decided to go through with the marriage but I haven't really told her about it."
He nodded, "So, you want to tell her or di?"
"Di can call her."
He answered in a nod once again but his eyes lingered and I think I have gotten to understand this look of his. He was hesitant into asking whatever else he had in mind.
I encouraged, "What else?"
He continued to look hesitant but when I continued to stand there, waiting patiently for him to ask, he gave in. "I know you said you don't want anything to do with Aarav, but it's his birthday this weekend and I was wondering if you'd like to join us."
I considered it for a second before questioning the specifics, "Join us...?"
"Camping trip. I thought you could meet him then. If you want." He quickly added the latter sentence, giving me the choice. I was noticing how almost every time, he kept doing that... as if it stuck with him the first and last time he ignored my wish and went behind my back to tell my dad what had happened with me all those years ago.
Now, he kept respecting my decision.
That itself made me smile. "Sure. It's high time I meet him anyway." After everything I kept hearing of things Arnav did for him, even recalling that one time during Aaron and Kripa's date that he had tried to crash and he had received a call that he was sick - the way he had rushed to get him his favorite pajama's so he would sleep instead of fussing - I had grown to respect Arnav's bond with his son.
Given he lives with Lavanya, I don't see him at the house but I shouldn't be inconsiderate to not make an effort.
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| . . . C H A P T E R - 2.16.2 : T I M E - T O - L I V E . . . |
Insects.
Pesky little bugs that crawl the life out of a person.
I slapped my arm once again in hopes of hitting a mosquito and killing it.
I fail.
I grumbled, turning to face Arnav with a glare, "Why are we at the zoo, again?"
"Because this is where we are camping." He answered in a patient tone, though his foot was tapping at the ground where he leaned back against his car. Both of us were waiting on Lavanya to bring him by for the last twenty minutes.
"Zoo. Honestly, why are both you and your son into all things nature?" I questioned, linking Aarav's interest in animals and the state park to Arnav's interest in gardening. They both involved trees, so there is my logical connection.
Though, Arnav doesn't see that connection. "How are the two related? One is animals. The other is plants."
"They're related." I spoke in a concluding tone, letting him know I wasn't going to debate over this while insects were sucking my blood away like little vampires. I slapped my arm again, "Ugh, insects annoy the life out of me."
Arnav chuckled, "I thought I was the only one who annoyed you."
I commented, "Well, they come in very close."
"Good to know I'm not second on the list." He said and winked.
I didn't know why but it caused my stomach to do a tiny flip. Every time. Hiding the blush creeping up on my cheek, I looked away. "Will you call Lavanya?"
"No." He answered in a monosyllable, making me gape. He tucked his index finger under my chin and closed my mouth, "You don't want an insect flying in there."
I swat his arm off, frustrated that he can find this moment amusing.
He explained when I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, turning away from him. "She's probably driving, Khushi. I am not going to call her and risk her talking on the phone while my son is in that car she is driving."
The second he had pointed out she was driving, I could guess where his reasoning was leading. It was a legit point. I did understand why he didn't want to call. Alas, I waited very impatiently. "Just FYI then, if I am very cranky by the time he gets here and he ends up hating me, it will be your fault. Not mines."
He pushed himself off the car and opened the door. "Okay, just get in the car and wait. Insects won't bother you then."
"And suffocate myself in there? No thanks."
He then handed me the keys. "Seriously, go turn on the AC. I don't care. Just don't spoil your mood. If not that, then atleast you'll stop slapping yourself and tragically failing at attempts to kill these mosquitos. You know, they only go after people whose blood is sweet. But, how is your blood sweet? Sometimes you are the exact opposite when you get in one of your moods and complain too much."
I gaped again, exclaiming, "I complain too much?!"
He dared to take a step towards me, "Yes. You do. What are you going to do about it?"
Again, I huffed, and nudged him away. Getting inside the car, I crossed my arms over my chest. He knocked on the window, but I refused to look in his direction. From my peripheral, I saw him walk around the car and open the driver side of the door. He leaned inside and turned on the ignition, effectively turning on the AC. Instead of going back outside to wait, he remained in the car.
"I see you're giving me another one of your silent treatments, so that's fine. But you can listen, right?" I turn my head to look out the window as an answer. He let out a sigh, but continued talking nevertheless, "Sweet pea, you say you want to live freely the way I used to in college, but why do you fight me at each turn? Just look around you. Look past the tiny insects and at the bigger things."
My ears perked as I listed, but pretended not to.
"You are surrounded by nature. There are animals here, and a shoreline at the other end of the park. We're going to be camping tonight. These are all things people describe in an adventure and look forward to, sweet pea. I planned this whole weekend so not just Aarav but you get something out of it too. If you let those feelings in, the insects won't bother you so much. Trust me. You'll actually start to enjoy yourself."
I couldn't even frown. He was right, and he knew it. I used to focus on so many little things that I had forgotten to look at the bigger picture. I reached for the handle, and he asked, "What are you doing?"
I turned my head to him briefly, "Fulfilling your dare. To enjoy life." Before I turned away again to open the car door and step outside, I saw his lips turning up into a smile at my answer.
It was time to live.
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