Hi there you awesome people :)
So I was supposed to upload this earlier but my internet crashed down. So thanks for waiting patiently :)
Enjoy...
Chapter Eighteen
I sat still, my ears disbelieving as her voice echoed through the house.
I waited, thinking maybe my mind was playing tricks on me but then I heard a clatter from the kitchen and I didn’t hesitate to jump out of my room and run down the stairs, my hands pushing open the kitchen door with a bang, my breathing coming and going fast.
“Not...so...loud,” my mother’s back was facing towards me and her voice was slurred.
My eyebrows furrowed into a frown as she opened the draws in the kitchen, looking through each of them until she turned around gave me a drowsy grin and popped two tablets into her mouth, washing it down with water. Then she dragged her feet past me, into the living room, her body swaying from side to side as if she was going to fall any second and then she slumped down onto the sofa, resting her feet on the table after struggling to take her shoes off.
I stared at my mother’s slim figure, tall and slender, laid across the couch. Her grey eyes reminding me where I inherited mine from but they were glazed over. Her dark brown hair was set in a loose bun, a few loose strands framing her small face messily. Her thin lips, turned down in a grimace as I stared at the woman I thought I knew. “You’re drunk.”
My voice was hard.
She narrowed her eyes at me in distaste. “Is that a problem?”
I looked at the woman before me. No love to share whatsoever, just a cold, disgusted look directed at me. The way she looked at me, as if she would rather bury herself in mud and stay there. Her drunken state made it worse. She didn’t care; she didn’t know how much I’ve been through. She had no idea how I’ve just been surviving on bread, how the money I’ve saved for university has been lessening each day. How everyday I come up for excuses to both Nana and Tommy just for her.
I was losing grip. I couldn’t hold this family together if she didn’t want to be a family. I stared into her dark and emotionless grey eyes, wondering where the warm light vanished to, when her always smiling lips turned into a scowl. Yet, I already knew.
Everything carefree, everything full of love died...Died alongside with my Father.
“Yes mother, it is a problem,” I didn’t recognize my own voice, it was so empty.
“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow, mocking.
“You have a son remember? Yes his names Tommy, he’s five,” my voice, void of any emotion, yet it seemed to anger her more.
“You think I don’t know that Rosaline?” No one called me that. My full first name, it sounded too formal, someone you wouldn’t know to call you that.
Is that what I am to my mother, a stranger?
“You could have fooled me mother. I mean there’s been no contact for weeks, you’d think that you’re a woman with no responsibilities,” I smirked, disgusted that I had to do her job.
Why had I been given all these responsibilities? Why did I have to be the mother for Tommy? I just wanted to be his sister. A normal sister, who get’s annoyed with her little brother. A sister who doesn’t have to give him my food because I feel he’s a growing boy. I shouldn’t be doing that; I should be taking his food to irritate him. I’m not supposed to be the one who scares the monsters away for him; I shouldn’t be the one taking care of him like I am.
But I chose to, because one of us had to.
“Watch your tongue young lady,” she pointed a wobbly finger at me, her eyes narrowed but looking at her drunken while I’m here at seventeen years of age caring about everyone but myself just made me angrier.
“Or what? Are you going to just run off, flee away as if you’re not leaving anything behind, is that what you’re going to do mother, is it?” My questioning didn’t go well with her as I saw her stand up, swaying for a moment and then stepping to my face, I was taller but she still mustered up her intimidating glare.
“I’ve been working to pay the fucking bills you ignorant girl! Who else is paying for the electricity in this house huh? I had to manage all of this and cope with you’re father’s death and you’re that selfish to say I’m running!” she screamed pathetically, wavering on her own two feet.
“I’m selfish? Wow mother, that’s rich. Don’t come up with pathetic excuses about working because you haven’t once picked up the phone to tell me where you were, you could have been dead for all I knew. That so called money you’re giving, well it proves how selfish you are because its all for you isn’t it? I had to buy food with my own money savings and I don’t even have a job!” I was only just starting so I caught my breath, ignoring the way her face reddened with anger, as I said nothing but the truth.
“And that bull about coping with Dad’s death, at first I may have believed you, but you left. You just left with a note, yes it was okay at the beginning because you actually called but then slowly you just stopped with contact. I had to take care of Tommy who was only four. I was sixteen Mother! Sixteen and scared. You would come back, just to get a few things and then you’re gone and now I’m the one keeping everyone together because I knew I could never let Tommy feel the pain I go through everyday,” I continued my voice angry but most of all hurt.
She needed to know this. But I wasn’t done, as I stared into her eyes that were beginning to water but it had no effect on me because while she was out getting drunk, ignoring her responsibilities, I took it face on and slowly had nothing left to give but my love for Tommy.
“Do you think that Dad’s death was easy on me Mother? Is that what you think? Because even you know Dad was everything to me, everything if not more. I mourned every night, every single night. I hoped that maybe you would come in and just once say that everything will be okay but you didn’t, you didn’t once comfort me. No, I had to make sure Tommy was okay, I had to stay strong and then I would cry myself to sleep every night quietly, so Tommy wouldn’t hear my cries. You started slipping away from me and then everything changed. I stopped my contact with my friends and put all my effort into my studies in hope to go to university, to become something so I can take care of us but do you know what?” I questioned.
“You’re dead mother. You’re dead to me; I lost you with Dad too. You’re fucking dead!” I screamed in the end, my bottom lip trembling, my eyes filled with unshed tears and my hands shaking with rage.
Then a loud echo filled the air as she raised her hand and slapped me across the face, hard. I kept my face to the side, looking down at the floor, my hair creating a curtain around my face as the stinging sensation started on my right cheek.
A traitorous tear dropped to the floor, the carpet under my feet absorbing it at once. I didn’t touch my cheek, I stayed staring at the ground, my hair covering my face, and then she spoke up as the tension filled silence felt like it was going to choke me. “You are a pathetic excuse of a daughter, disgraceful and disgusting. It makes me sick to look at you, to know I brought someone like you to life.”
Her nose turned up, her eyes cold as I looked up at her in disbelief and pain finally whispering, “What?”
“Oh don’t try to earn my sympathy and act innocent. You’re the reason why your Father died. To me you’re not a daughter, just a murderer.” I was speechless, my mouth hanging open and then I stood straight, outraged that she was blaming me for Dad’s death.
“Go to hell,” I wanted to shout, scream even or screech, just to be loud enough to make it clear but it was just a little above a whisper and that’s all I had left in me.
I didn’t shove past her, I just simply side stepped away from her, ignoring her calls to me and walked into my bedroom. I changed into a pair of black jeans, a white top, and my black leather jacket. I shoved my phone, purse and iPod in my back pocket and ran back down the stairs.
I saw my Mothers body lay across the couch and realised she was passed out. I scowled at how quickly she can just go to sleep. I could never do that, too many things to worry about but not today, I was not doing any caring.
I slipped my feet into a pair of white plimsolls and walked past my truck and down my street, letting my feet take me wherever they wanted. It was cold as I walked down the different streets. It was around seven in the morning, a school day but I wasn’t going to go school. No I was just going to do what I felt like.
I walked to a cafe I saw ahead, ordered a coffee, not having an appetite for breakfast. I brought the coffee to my lips slowly as I watched through the window the streets getting busier as people started getting up, another busy day awaiting everyone in some way. I sat there for an hour, maybe two hours, I don’t know, I never checked.
I spent a few more hours walking aimlessly in town, going in shops but never really seeing. Eating but never really tasting. Listening to people but never hearing. Everything past by in a blur as I thought about nothing, for once, I stopped myself from thinking.
I walked some more, no idea about the time. My legs started getting tired so I walked to a park I had never seen before. I looked around, realising I had no idea where I was and everything looked a little run down but I didn’t dwell on it.
I walked into the park, walking past the swings and slides and heading further back, where I saw a large tree. I made myself comfortable on the grass, leaning my back against the trunk of the tree, my legs stretched out in front of me as I stared straight ahead at a few kids messing around on the roundabout.
I plugged my headphones in my ear, allowing the music from the iPod to consume me as I stared up at the light blue sky, slowly starting to doze off. The slight breeze felt like a blanket around me as my eyes closed shut, as the lyrics filled my mind.
Then I find myself running, I’m running as if my life depended on it and then I fall as something smashes at the back of my skull and I roll around, my eyes connecting with a pair of blue eyes, my fathers blue eyes as they stare into my soul, silently telling me to get out of there and then his eyes roll back in his skull as the shot goes off.
My heart feels like it’s been ripped out as I let out an agonizing scream and then my eyes snap open, realising it was just a dream and that I was still in the park. I look around me and find the park is empty, just silence, as the once light blue sky is now dark grey. How twisted that the whether matches my mood perfectly.
I look up at the dark clouds, looking up to the heavens.
“I miss you so much Daddy,” my voice is so quiet, but it felt like a shout in the silence of the park.
One tear drops down my cheek and then another follows until they flow like an ocean, but I make no sound, just allowing the silent tears to empty, just like everything else inside me.
My own mother slapped me today. She had actually hit me, something I never once in my wildest dreams think she would do. Then she blamed me for my father’s death, and it felt like a punch to my gut, repeatedly. I tried to save him and I’m a murderer in her eyes.
I felt so numb and then when I looked back up at the sky, I realised it was raining. Raining heavily and the winds were howling, as everything turned dark once the night took over and the moon came out.
I was drenched, allowing the rain to soak me, try to wash away some of the pain. Then I took my phone out of my pocket that had been vibrating since last night. I unlocked the phone and had more than fifty missed calls, all leaving a voicemail. My memory was full with the number of texts overflowing in my inbox.
There were a few from the boys and couple from my group of friends but they were little compared to the number of times Drake was trying to get into contact with me.
I only allowed myself to check the most recent text which was two minutes ago. I opened it up; surprised at the concern it held.
‘Rosie, for god’s sake please! I’m begging you here, tell me where you are. You’re scaring me! Just give me a chance to explain. That’s all I’m asking. Don’t ignore me! I’ve been trying to ring you. Just tell me you’re okay. You’re not at home. Please just tell me you’re okay.’
I felt angry with myself for feeling guilty but then I looked at the text, the worry he felt clenched at my heart. I had to keep wiping the screen as it filled with raindrops.
Could it be possible that he cared or was it just sympathy of what I witnessed?
My fingers were about to type back a reply, when I realised I could hardly feel them. I looked down at myself, soaked head to toe in freezing water, the rain still plummeting down and only then did I realize how cold I felt. Looking at my hands, I realised I was shivering uncontrollably.
This is not good, I thought.
I tried to get up, but I felt too heavy.
My teeth chattered together, my face frozen and my purple hands shook as I sat in the park, huddled against a tree, seeking for warmth.
I don’t know how long I sat there as the cold filled my whole body, trembling.
Then when I was going to let myself black out into unconsciousness I saw a figure running towards me, making me smile as I thought, I could at least die, looking at him one last time.
His dark brown hair was matted to his forehead, rain dripping down his strong jaw, his muscular body hunched over me as he took in my state. His bright green eyes shining in the awful weather with nothing but concern and something else I couldn’t quite place.
“Rose? Rosie! Shit can you hear me Rosie!” his voice was like a beautiful deep melody to my ears. I was going to die with a smile.
But the frown on his face, the unshed tears in his eyes, and the slight tremble of his lips made me want to reach out to him, to wipe it all away but I couldn’t feel anything, I felt dead. I wanted to tell him it was okay, but my lips were frozen.
Then in one swift movement I was in his arms, staring up at his beautiful face. Then the next second I know, I’m inside his car, watching him put the heating on full blast but it did nothing to warm me. I was frozen.
I heard him repeat the words over and over again and I think he was trying to reassure himself more than me. “It’s okay, you’ll be okay.”
Those were the last words I heard as he pushed my hair back and my eyes rolled behind my eyelids, giving into nothing but blackness.
***
My mind felt like a foggy haze. It took time for things to clear up. My nose twitched as I breathed in the air, smelling of cleaning sprays and disinfectants. There was a constant beeping sound; otherwise I couldn’t hear anything else. My body felt really warm but my mouth was extremely dry.
I slowly opened my eyes, afraid that the light I will be confronted with will be hard to adjust to but surprisingly there was a nice dim glow filling the room. I frowned as I stared up at a plain white ceiling, looking to the side I see a monitor where the constant beeping of my heart rate continued. I was lying down on a single bed, wrapped in blankets, with a heater above keeping me warm.
It felt too hot so I tried to move my right hand to push the blankets away when it refused to move. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as I realised someone had their hand in mine, intertwined together, I tried to tug it out slowly but they just tightened their hold on me.
I lifted my head slowly, seeing who was in here with me. My eyes widened as I saw his muscular body sitting on the floor, his back resting against my bed, his head lying near my hand, his dark brown hair messy, falling into his closed eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed into a frown; his face was contorted into pain, his lips turned into a grimace. I wanted so badly to take that look away, to get rid of whatever nightmare he was having as he gripped my hand tighter, like he was scared to let me go.
I shook my head.
I needed to stop my feelings for Drake but why was it easier to say than be done?
I sat myself in a sitting position, my legs outstretched, still keeping my hold on Drakes hand. I positioned the pillows properly so I can lean against them and then picked up the glass of water near my bedside table. As it touched the tip of my tongue, I only then realised how thirsty I was. It felt like I hadn’t had water in days, I put the empty glass back on the table and stared at the plain wall ahead.
I was in a hospital.
I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the memories of the last time I was here.
I was starting to wonder what I was doing in here when the sound of his voice cut off my thoughts. “Please, please, I, Rose...”
Drake’s voice was filled with pain, begging for a release. He started thrashing around, screaming my name and my heart stopped with the beeping sound of the monitor. I couldn’t watch him like this so I got out of bed, my hand still in his, as he had a death grip hold on it.
“Drake! Drake wake up!” I shook his shoulders hard, lightly slapping his face when he still didn’t respond. Then when I pulled my hand out of his, not even a second had passed before his eyes snapped open, his green eyes connecting with mine as he held my gaze, his breathing coming out short and fast. Those green eyes were painful to look into as they overflowed with emotions. I felt like I was invading his privacy, so I look away, staring at my bed as I kneeled in front of him on the floor.
“Am I dreaming?” His voice was hardly a whisper but I still heard.
I looked back at him, smiling slightly. “No, we’re in a hospital, not one of the best things to dream about Drake.”
His eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe I was here. I frowned and then he raised his hand, softly touching my cheek and I felt blood rushed to my cheeks as I looked down at my hands, blushing.
Then without any warning, I was embraced in a warm hug, Drakes arms wrapping around me securely, his face buried into my hair as he pulled me tighter than I thought was possible. I stayed still at first, not sure whether it was a good idea but my heart won over and I wrapped my arms around him in return as I let him comfort me, or maybe I was comforting him.
“I thought I lost you,” Drake mumbled into my hair.
I was starting to feel really confused.
“You’ve been in hospital for four days and you didn’t once come back into consciousness,” he explained.
“It was my entire fault,” he went on and then he said some other things but my mind went blank.
I had been blacked out in hospital for four days?
How much have I missed?
How’s Tommy?
Oh no, has my mother left? Did she see him?
My mind was swarming with questions that no one could answer unless I went myself.
“Why am I in hospital?” I asked Drake, pulling out of the hug, standing up and walking to my bed, sitting down. He copied my actions, sitting next to me.
“Don’t you remember? I found you in the park, sitting in the rain, drenched and when I saw you, you’re whole face was blue, you’re lips were purple and you couldn’t move, so I took you to hospital but you had passed out before we got there. Turned out you got hypothermia for staying out there in the cold rain, so they said you would get better, but you never woke up and you scared the fuck out of me Rose!” he explained, his voice rising slightly at the end as he thought back to what happened.
The memories came flooding back as I thought I was going to die.
“Okay,” I mumbled.
“Okay?” Drake growled.
“Yes okay,” I frowned at him.
“No it’s not okay! Something worse could have happened to you Rose! Why did you leave without telling anyone where you were going?” he shouted angrily.
“Don’t fucking shout at me Night! It’s none of you’re fucking business what I do! I do what I want, so just stay out of it. Yes thank you for taking me to hospital but I would have been happy to just stay there and die, now you can go and kill some other people. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” I was angry and fed up.
Who was he to shout at me and tell me what to do?
“You wanted to just...die?” he asked in disbelief.
“Just leave me alone Drake,” I said tiredly.
“Not happening, we’re going to talk about this once you’re out of here. You’re going to listen to my side of the story,” he wasn’t asking me, no, he was telling me.
I couldn’t be bothered to argue, so I nodded my head.
He stood up as I lay back in bed, he put the blankets over me even though I protested at his help but he gave me one glare and I let him carry on. He leaned down, his face inches from mine as I stared into his green eyes that looked so tired. He looked at me in a way I couldn’t explain, as if he were struggling.
He shook his head, and stood back up straight, walking out of the room, banging the door shut behind him as I stared at the closed door.
My sleep didn’t come easily after that, I kept having the same nightmares, my dad’s lifeless body always haunting me.
***
When morning finally came, a nurse who looked to be in her mid twenties came rushing in with a huge smile, her big brown eyes shining and her dark skin glowing. She was by my side in a second, pulling me into an unexpected hug that caught me off guard.
“Oh Rose! You scared me girl!” she frowned looking at me, pulling out of the hug.
I just stared at her with wide eyes, fully confused beyond everything.
“Um...” I started, not sure what to say.
“Oh! Stupid me! I’m Ella, your nurse. I’ve been looking after you for these couple of days and yeah I kind of get attached to my patients,” she smiled sheepishly.
I smiled, looking into her innocent brown eyes.
“Ah, that’s okay. Thank you, I just, yeah never really had nice nurses before,” I said stupidly.
She grinned down at me, checking my body temperature and everything else. “You’re all good to go, but now that you’re awake I don’t want to let you go.”
The pout on her face made me giggle slightly.
“Okay then, do you want to talk?” I asked nicely.
“Yes! I thought you’d never ask,” she squealed like a little girl. This was so weird and different. I wasn’t much of a social person as I used to be but she seemed kind.
“Right, so how comes you’re in such a good mood?” I asked curiously, people couldn’t be this happy when they’re in hospitals unless you’re in the maternity ward.
“Well, I’m usually like this but maybe I’m a tad bit more excited than usual because you’re awake,” she smiled.
“But why are you so excited I’m awake?” I asked confused.
“Because, there’s been this boy who’s been in here day and night, sitting on the floor by your side, holding onto you’re hand and refusing to move when the doctors said no one was allowed until visiting hours,” she started to explain.
“And then when he refused, security came and he totally knocked them out and then I realised he’s obviously has a thing for you so I came in, saying I’ll keep an eye on him when he’s with you and since then he hasn’t left your side. I had to bring him new clothes and he wouldn’t eat or even drink water!” she gushed.
I looked up at the nurse, looking at the excited look in her eyes and knew she wasn’t lying but it was hard to believe. Drake did that all for me? What an idiot, who fights security? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it though.
“When I asked why he wouldn’t leave, he said to me whether I would ever want to be alone in a hospital and when I replied no he said exactly. He said if he left your side, he’ll lose you and he said he can’t lose someone like you and ever since I’ve been trying to get you to wake up so I can see how amazing he said you are,” she finished with a sweet smile.
I felt tears well up in my eyes.
“He said that?” I whispered.
“Yes!” she squealed.
I nodded my head and asked to be released from the hospital. I gave her a hug, thanking her for everything and she wished me luck with Drake. I needed all of it.
The hospital was near my house so it took about ten minutes to get home. The house was not surprisingly empty. No sign of my mother was shown; it was as if she was never here, no note, no voicemail, and no message. Absolutely nothing.
I walked up the stairs, looking into the mirror to find myself looking like some dead zombie. My grey eyes looked so dull, my hair was stuck to my head messily, my lips were chapped and my cheeks looked hollow.
What was I expecting... to look like some beautiful, sexy princess? Yeah right.
I spent the rest of the day taking a shower, changing clothes, studying, eating bread and then watching a movie which I was now halfway through, that is until the doorbell went off and I made a big mistake opening it without seeing who it was.
Now face-to-face with a blue eyed guy, my heart stopped, and a bone chilling shiver ran up my spine as he held a hand knife with his fingers, with four big burly men standing behind him and a black van waiting in my driveway.
“So are you going to be a good girl and listen or are you going to be difficult?" his voice was slimy and disgusting.
I was frozen with fear, as I knew where I remembered him.
........................................................................................................................................
Dont kill meeeee!
I love my cliffhangers xD
Vote and Comment pleaseeeeeeeee! I'll upload earlier ;D