Harry waited anxiously by the door for Louis, who always seemed to be running perpetually late to everything. He was wearing a black peacoat with a red scarf and dark denim skinny jeans, with a light blue jumper underneath and lace up boots on his feet. It was a simple enough outfit to wear, but Harry had spent nearly an hour agonizing over the perfect outfit, trying on one after another and never feeling satisfied--and certainly never feeling attractive.
Finally, after hearing all the racket, Zayn waltzed into his room and told him to calm down. "Haz," he said, gently, examining the array of jumpers and pants all over the floor. "You look great, love. What's wrong with your outfit?" Harry shrugged, embarrassed to be caught in the act of struggling with his image and looked at the floor.
"You're probably just nervous for your date," Zayn began, trying the best he could to relate to Harry. But deep down, he knew he couldn't. Sure, Zayn had felt a little insecure about his body from time to time, but never to the extent that Harry had... and never to the extent of panicking over clothes. He gave Harry a sad look, and tried to get the younger boy to look up at him instead of at the dusty corner behind his bed.
"Haz, I know it's tough, okay? I know you don't feel great right now. But trust me, if you could see what I see -- and what Liam sees and what Louis definitely sees— you'd know you look gorgeous in literally anything, love," Zayn said, touching Harry's shoulder with a firm grip. Harry looked at Zayn, studying his soft brown eyes and thoughtful smile.
"Thank you, Z. That's super sweet. I suppose you're right," Harry said with a sigh. He knelt down to start cleaning up the mess he had made, but Zayn stopped him. "Hey, I got this. Go have fun on your date, Haz. And take my red scarf -- it's lucky! It's the scarf I met in Liam in," he said with a giggle as Harry nodded and jumped towards the door, eager to get away from his closet and all the insecurities that came with it.
Now, as Harry waited, he wondered if Louis ever felt insecure about his body. He remembered he had said his exes made him feel like he wasn't good enough or attractive enough, but he wasn't sure that meant he didn't feel confident in his appearance. From the looks of it, Lou was super confident, always sporting some kind of super tight shirt or pair of skinny jeans, tussling his brown hair in ways that Harry never dared to style his. It was as though he loved attention.
Suddenly, Harry heard a knock at the door, and opened it to find Louis looking stunning in a pair of marroon skinny jeans and a silver winter coat with black converse that only enhanced the peppy, youthful glow he gave off. "Hey, Hazza. Sorry I'm late, love," Louis said, leaning in to give Harry a hug. Harry hugged him back, breathing in a bit of Louis' cologne as their torsos met -- it was strong and sporty, just the way he liked it.
"No worries, Lou. After you ran into my house in your underwear early in the morning, I've learned to live with the fact that you'll never be on time," replied Harry, coyly, a silly smile creeping across his lips. Louis stood on his tip toes and tried to kiss Harry on the forehead, completely underestimating how much taller he was than him. "Fuck," Louis said, laughing, as he missed and ended up kissing Harry's chin. Harry shook his head, his curls bouncing lightly on his shoulders, and smiled at Louis. "Forehead kisses are for you only, love. You're simply too short," he giggled, planting a smooch on Louis' head.
The two boys walked down the stairs and to the tube, shivering a bit in the winter cold as they waited for the train. "I can see my bloody breath," Louis said, laughing as he jumped up and down to keep warm as they stood under the dark green awning. "Stop jumping like a weirdo," Harry replied, watching with an exaggerated look of horror as Louis jumped to and fro on the platform.
Without thinking, Harry lunged forward and grabbed Louis in a bear hug, laughing all the while. Louis tried to squirm out his grip, but Harry was much stronger now, and he didn't let up. "Let go, Hazza," Louis said, chuckling as he strained against his biceps. "Okay, look the train is coming!"
Harry released Lou, holding him gently by the arm to make sure he didn't get too close to the moving train, and then looked into his bright blue eyes. Something about Louis just made him feel.... happy. Careless. Free. Like he could truly be himself without worrying about anything... without even worrying about his disordered thoughts.
"Haz, I really hope you like this place I picked. It's a little upscale -- it's one of those fusion restaurants. But I wasn't sure what kind of food you wanted, so I figured we'd just try a combination of a bunch," Louis said excitedly, as he took a seat next to Harry in the train car. Harry nodded excitedly, trying to think of how the old Harry would have reacted to a fusion restaurant. He would probably have been stoked -- not nervous and shaking.
"That sounds pretty cool, Lou. I've never been to a fusion place before," Harry said, stroking Louis' hair softly with his hand. "Neither have I," Louis admitted, biting his lip. "My friend recommended it to me. So if it's not good, it's on him." Louis tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach as Harry grabbed his hand, tracing small circles on it with his thumb. He really wanted this date to be perfect for Harry. Because after working so hard in rehab, he deserved something special-- and Louis wasn't sure if he could give him that something special, but he would be damned if he didn't at least try.
"Oh, we're here," Louis cried, jumping up at the Waterloo stop. Harry followed after him, his long legs quickly outpacing Louis' short ones. "Where do we go? I'm following you, babe," Harry said in a deep voice, licking his lips a bit. Damn, Louis looks hot in those skinny jeans... he thought. Mmm...
Before meeting his longtime girlfriend a few years back, Harry had been a bit of a wild rollercoaster when it came to relationships. When he felt attracted to someone, it was a feeling he couldn't shake, and he quickly began to crave their body, their scent, their skin. Back in uni, Harry was into hot, wild hookups, with either gender, letting his body do the talking as he smashed genitals with strangers, trying to ride out the wave of euphoria before he crashed the next morning. He wasn't one to text back the next day, but he certainly wasn't one to reject a second round if it went well.
Harry had of course, matured over the years, finding something more meaningful with his girlfriend Kaley, who showed him that sexual attraction was just a small part of a romantic relationship. Kaley showed him what it meant to have butterflies for someone just after a short conversation and what it felt like to be the reason for someone else's smile. Kaley was his first -- his first serious girlfriend, the first person he loved. And if he was being honest, he still loved her, but not in that way anymore... Their relationship had gotten toxic by the end, and they wanted different things, had different desires. Kaley went on to date some guy named John from Liverpool, moved in with him even. And Harry, well, he spent the past two years getting sicker and sadder until death was the only thing on his agenda.
Until he met Louis.
There were a million people in his life who told him he had to recover -- Liam, Zayn, his mum, his sister. But none of that seemed to matter until the blue-eyed boy in too-tight skinny jeans found him freaking out over a pie and told him a story about his sick sister who recovered. Louis gave something Harry he hadn't had since he got dumped by Kaley and lost his baking job: he gave him a passion, a purpose, a reason.
As the two boys manuevered through the evening foot traffic of the tube, Harry grabbed Louis' hand gently, giggling as he tried to slow down his long legs as he followed after the shorter boy. "Oh my god, Harold," Louis laughed. "What on earth are you doing?" He stopped short at the top of the stairway and jut out a hip, giving Harry a snarky smile.
"Just following you, daddy," Harry said, biting his lip in embarrassment as he realized what he had just said. "Where on earth did you learn such a term?" Louis asked, cocking an eyebrow as he pointed forward in the direction of the restaurant. The sun was beginning to set and the street lamps were coming on now, creating a soft glow around the greywashed city streets.
"Zayn," Harry said, giving Louis a silly look. "Plus it's in your articles! Runway model Jack Holden looks 'daddy' in menswear cropped suit." Louis' face reddened as he thought back to his article, which had caused a lot of controversy at the magazine -- they almost made Louis delete the article, until they saw how many views it got. Record breaking, of course, because sex sells.
"Alright, well, if anyone's daddy here, it's you Mr. Styles. You're the one with gorgeous green eyes and long legs," Louis said with a grin, looking up at Harry and half wondering how the hell he was even dating someone so beautiful... well about to date.
"Is this it?" Harry asked, pointing at the towering building next to them that said "FUSION FOOD." Louis nodded, pretending he hadn't just tried to completely overshoot the restaurant. "Yup -- this is it. You distracted me, curly," Louis replied, jogging over to the front door. "After you, love." He held the door open for Harry, sending shivers down the younger boy's spine over the adorable gesture.
"Hi, I'm Trisha and I'll be your server today," said the waitress, handing Louis and Harry each a menu. Harry tried to hide the growing anxiety in the pit of his stomach as he grabbed the thick, ten page menu with sweaty hands. Fuck.... he thought to himself. Can't I just enjoy this?
Louis looked over at Harry, carefully analyzing his tense body language. "Hey. I know it's a lot on the menu. Do you want to go somewhere else? Even I'm overwhelmed," Louis said quietly, reaching for Harry's hand across the dark wooden table. Harry looked around at the decorative waterfall and paintings that hung on the wall and shook his head. "No, Lou, this place is so perfect and romantic," he said, squeezing Louis' hand. "I can do it, I promise."
Louis nodded and began leafing through the menu, calling out things that sounded good to him. "Oh, ramen burger.. I've always wanted to try that. They also have buttered chicken tacos," Louis said, licking his lips. He periodically looked over at Harry, who had a blank expression on his face and was twirling his curls nervously.
"Haz. What do you want for dinner?" Lou asked softly. "Just name anything and they probably have it. I'll ask okay?" Harry looked at Louis and shrugged. "I don't know, usually I just have a meat with pasta or rice. Sometimes I have pizza, but I have to have milk and a salad with it... umm..."
Louis shook his head. "No, love. What do you like? What do you enjoy eating?" he questioned. Harry resisted the urge to shout: NOTHING and began to think about what he liked eating back before he got sick. "Well, um. Right now it's still hard, but I used to really like curry take away, pizza, burgers. All that stuff," Harry said, his stomach lurching at the thought of those greasy, fatty foods.
"Okay, well they have a whole section on curries. Do you want me to read them to you?" Louis asked. At this point, without asking, he had moved into Harry's side of the booth and was sitting next to him, gently stroking his arms to calm him down. "You're doing great for me babe," he whispered, kissing his head gently. "And if you want to go home at any time, just tell me. Okay?"
Harry nodded and listened carefully as Louis read out the different curry dishes, ultimately deciding upon a spinach ginger chicken curry, that sounded both healthy and delicious. It was so much easier having Louis read the dishes to him rather than having to stare at the menu, which was covered in intimidating photos of fried, unhealthy heaps of food.
"Okay, all set babe?" Louis said, checking in with Harry before he returned to his seat. In perfect timing, the waitress returned to the table with a bowl of bread, ready to take their orders. "I'll get the ramen burger," Louis said, placing his order first. Harry stared in Louis in amazement at how he could so shamelessly order such an unhealthy dish and not be embarrassed or upset.
"Um... I'll have the spinach ginger... um.. chicken curry dish," Harry said, the words barely escaping his trembling lips. "Okay, coming right up," the waitress said turning on her heel to place the order.
"I... um. Lou? Thank you so much for helping me back there. It's still a lot for me. I guess I was being overconfident over text because I was so excited, but if I'm being honest restaurants still scare me a lot... like, I don't really like people to watch me eat and order and all that," he said quietly, locking eyes with Louis who was smiling back at him. "But I want that with you. I want to be able to go out to restaurants with you and
get hot chocolate with you and have ice cream at the beach with you when it gets hot... I, dunno, you just give me a reason to try and be better...."
Harry's voice trailed off and he looked at the floor. Maybe he had revealed too much to Louis... maybe he didn't feel the same way. But Louis was still smiling at Harry, his blue eyes wet with emotion. "I want that too, love. I really do," he replied. He leaned over the table and locked lips with Harry, giving him a soft kiss that made him feel like maybe, for once, things were going to be okay.
A/N: this was actually my favorite chapter to write out of all of them so far!!! Larry is goals. I'm so proud of Harry — and even prouder of Lou for being so supportive :) this was just too cute and sweet and I was smiling the whole time as I wrote it ahhhh. Hope y'all liked it!