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It's party time, and I'm excited. I decide to wear a mini skirt and a tight long sleeved shirt that made my boobs pop. I have already downed two beers, and taken four shots of tequila. It may have seemed to be a lousy party because of who was throwing it, but this party has been insane. These girls know how to party, Hailey seems to be having fun. I have never seen her drunk before, so I know tonight will be pretty interesting.
I head over to the keg and feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Ethan and Lip beside each other. Lip face lights up when he sees me and my first instinct was to hug him. "Ahh! You guys made it!" I beam.
"Wow. You look... amazing." Lip says, and I grin.
"Thanks," I smirk and hear someone clear their throat beside Lip. I look over at the girl beside Lip as she glares at me. "Oh sorry, I didn't see you there." I awkwardly say.
"I'm Amanda, Lip's girlfriend." She says with an attitude taking her hand out. I look over to Ethan who walks away. Lip seemed awkward and I? Literally dying, my heart was breaking at this very moment.
"Girlfriend?" I question, and she makes a face.
"As of recently yeah." Lip scratches his head, and I look back at Amanda and give her my world famous fake smile.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Ellie," I say over the music finally shaking her hand.
"Ellie? Oh, I've heard a lot about you from Lip. You're Ethan's sister. You two must have been close." She says not sounding very excited.
"Very." I sternly say, and Hailey walks over.
"Lip! You made it! That's so great. Ellie get him a drink, drink a lot tonight!" She slurs, and I nudge her.
"This is my roommate, Hailey," I say. "Hailey meet Lip, and his girlfriend Amanda," I say she quickly sobers up.
"Girlfriend? heh"Hailey's eyes widen. "Ellie how about we do some shots, you look like you need shots, let's go," Hailey says grabbing my arm pulling me away from Lip and Amanda. "Oh my gosh, he has a girlfriend!" She whispers yells.
"Yeah, I wasn't expecting that." I look over to the two who were laughing together. "I was hoping we would get back together." I pout.
"You still haven't told him?" Hailey asks, and I shake my head.
"You're right though; I need shots." I walk toward the alcohol and drink my pain away.
I grind to the music and feel eyes glued to me. I look over to Lip who was ignoring Amanda and staring at me, right where I want him. I felt a little deja vu from when we went to that party on the north-side. And here we are, destined to be together and not doing a god damn thing about it.
"TEQUILAAAA!" Hailey yells out, drunk as hell. We dance together as people watched. Ethan had been talking to a girl throughout the whole party. Which was perfect since he was distracted and not bugging me about something.
"You should totally join our sorority." The president of Hailey's sorority says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"That'd be amazeballs!" Hailey beams. I laughed at how cute she was when drunk.
"Yeah, that'll be cool." I shrug off. I didn't really care for sorority, but I did want the full college lifestyle.
"Okay, you're in!" The president, Rebecca cheers. "You're just the amount of fun we need."
"Woooo! I'm in a sorority!" I cheer, and all the other girls yell. I look for Ethan to tell him the great news and spot him going upstairs with the girl. I look over to Lip who was alone at the moment. "Perfect," I say under my breath and head over toward him.
Once I'm close, Amanda comes out of nowhere and starts making out with Lip. I freeze in place and watch the make-out session go on. A tear falls down my cheek and Lip's eyes land on me when their lips part. I bat my eyes away while more tears fell down and scurried past the hoard of college students. I make it outside and start breathing heavily. My chest tightens, and my world feels like it's falling apart.
"Ellie..." Lip says to me, and I stand up straight and take a deep breath. I dry my cheeks and turn around. "Hey, how's the party?" I smile, and Lip walks down the steps of the house.
"You uhm, okay?" He asks.
"Y-yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I force a smile.
"Because back there...uh." He trails off and sighs.
"Lip, you moved on, you have a girlfriend, and it's fine." I shrug off and purse my lips.
"No, it's not fine." He mumbles.
"What?" I ask, and he just looks up to me.
"It's not fucking fine. Nothing has been fine since you've left.." his voice raises a bit.
"Lip..." I say and scoffs.
"And you're back, but you're not really back. And now I'm with Amanda. Things are just uh, fucked up a bit." Lip says. "You kind of fucked me up when you left. And even though I want to hate you, I can't which fucking sucks. I want to hate you so badly."
"Then hate me Lip, I deserve it." I wave my arms up. "If that's what you want then fine. I fucked up when I left, but I had to leave." I bark at him.
"Why?! Why the fuck?! It doesn't make any fucking sense!" He yells at me, and I flinch, not saying a word. "Why is it so easy for you to want me to hate you than for you just to tell me?!" His jaw clenches and I gulp.
I walk up closer and look up in his glossy blue eyes, "My mom was sick, so I left. That's all." I sternly say, and he scoffs.
"Bullshit." He barks back. The door of the house opens and out goes Amanda. I look at Lip and then back at him.
"You should go, your girlfriend is waiting for you." I harshly say and walk away from Lip.
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I walk in the dark halls of one of the buildings on campus. I turn to another hall seeing light beam from the bottom of the door and head towards it. I knock on the door and it creaks open after a long pause.
"I-I had no one else to go to." I shyly say, looking up at his deep brown eyes and he steps aside opening the door wider. I take a seat in one of his seats across his desk and look around his office. The only lighting was his table lamp that beamed on his paperwork. "I'm sorry for just showing up unannounced. I figured you'd still be working."
"You reek of alcohol." He sternly says leaning back in his chair.
"So do you." I scoff, and he grins.
"What brings you here?" He asks, and I think about what to talk about first.
"I was pregnant." I blurt out and smile. "Wow, it feels good to just say that to someone else that isn't my brother who has been so hard on me lately," I say.
"Why has he been hard on you? Because you were pregnant?" Schultz asks.
"Because I haven't told the father. I went away to New York with this secret. I didn't tell him so he can live his life and I had to break things off with him after everything was so perfect." I pause and tears start to run down my face. "And I lost the babies, I have nothing now. No Lip, no babies, just me." I cry harder now and Schultz hands me a box of tissues. I look at the tissue box and laugh, still with tears running down my face. "The box of tissues in reach while I vent is so cliche."
"But very helpful." He smirks and leans closer. "I'm very sorry for your loss." He softly says and I start to sob. He gets up from his seat and sits on the arm of my seat, rubbing my back. "Shh, just let it all out." He coos and I stain his suit with my tears.
"It just hurts. I've been pretending that I'm fine and I'm not." I cry out and Schultz leans down so we are face to face. He dries my tears and caresses my cheeks. I stop crying and look in his eyes. Without thinking I lean in and kiss him. He backs away and stands up. "Oh my god, I'm so stupid." I gather my things and run out his office.
I dried my tears off my cheeks and sped to my dorm. To bury my head in my pillow and let out all the anger and pain that's just been adding up for months. I'm like a hurricane, ruining everything around me quickly.