7.Cloud
And when the cloud shifts, it's all over. Isn't it true? And here was first hand evidence - a strong role model, a mother's favorite, crumbling into nothing.
What of her career? Her family? Her friends? Herself?
Didn't make sense to her anymore. Not when that cloud of unreal things had shifted away from over her eyes.
Ray was sitting on a chair, in their living room. Blue Andrews, her employer and doctor, was sitting opposite her. The other members of her family were trying their level best to remain inconspicuous, but it wasn't helping.
Ray's sensitive ears could hear every scrape of a shoe on their carpet, every sound that betrayed their presence, and the sounds were louder, harsher, to her hypersensitive self.
She knew they were behind the kitchen door; her mother; her sister; her friend, silently watching the scene, and that knowledge prickled her skin, stitching her mouth shut before she could open her mouth to even let a word out.
Blue crossed her legs and leaned in, fixing Ray with a soft stare, urging her to speak up.
"How are you, Ray? I haven't spoken to you for quite a while."
Ray just looked at Blue once, and lowered her eyes to her lap, her fingers curling over the soft material of her dress, bunching it in her hand.
How was she? She didn't know that.
Ray clenched her fist, around the material of her dress, creasing it, and looked down, not meeting Blue's eyes. It seemed to her, that Blue must have forgotten, that simple questions as such tend to shut people up, making them realize they were devoid of an answer, that would make people think they were still very acceptable in the thinking standards of society, that they were not crazy, desperate, depressed, or even anything remotely different from acceptable behavior.
"Ray, how are you?"
Ray slowly looked up, and stared at Blue for a while, unblinking, before answering.
"How are murderers supposed to feel?"
Blue squinted her eyes at Ray and sat up even straighter.
"Pardon?'
Ray looked down at her dress again. She started twisting the material, stretching it between her fingers, her fingers working rapidly. Ray glanced up for a second, and saw Blue pushing a notebook behind her, on the sofa, her other hand keeping a pen inside her pocket.
Ray did not like that notebook. She did not like it at all. She hated it.
"What are you writing, Blue?"
Blue, whose hands were now resting on her lap, seemed to have been caught. But she didn't seem fazed.
"Nothing, honey. Why don't we go back to answering my question?"
But to Ray, that was it.
"I don't want to talk about anything."
Blue closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again. She smiled softly at Ray.
"Nothing? But then I thought you wanted to talk to me?"
Ray nodded.
"I want to go back to work."
Blue looked a little confused.
"You do? Then, that's great! But with the injuries-"
"They're not an issue. I'm well past resting time. I want to go back to working in your clinic, that too as soon as possible."
Ray stared at Blue, silently challenging her to say no. Blue opened her mouth, but closed it. Looking at Ray with steel, she nodded.
"Then, as your employer, I require you to stay back at home in an extended leave, that I am granting you-"
"I want nothing as such!"
"-for another month, or more, until I require your services."
Ray was breathing hard, fuming with rage. But Blue looked so composed, Ray felt like shaking Blue till she understood her predicament. But she swallowed her anger, nodding her head.
"Of course."
Blue looked surprised. She narrowed her eyes at Ray and studied her for a moment.
"But, I'd like you to come to my clinic tomorrow, to collect some of your things left there. I'll be handing you your official leave letter there, and you will take it. Hopefully I make myself clear?"
"Yes, Blue."
"Then I will show myself out. Take care of yourself, Ray. And I mean it."
Ray only slightly inclined her head to show she'd heard Blue. And taking that as the most she'd get, Blue got up and left.
Ray heard footsteps coming close to where she remained seated, but she didn't move, or do anything, apart from staring at the same spot she'd been staring at for the past minute.
"Ray?'
Her fingers curled over the soft material of her dress, but she just stared. Ray just stared. And her mother?
April just silently sobbed, looking at her daughter becoming what she wished none to be.
Nothing.
****
The cab sped on, not facing much traffic. The woman inside watched the world pass by, through the glass window. There was another woman, who was asleep, her head on the other woman's lap. A sudden hard jerk pulled the asleep woman from her sleep. The other woman quickly patted her head to put her back to sleep, the sleeping pill taking it's effect.
The driver watched the pair through his mirror up front. The woman had been asleep when they'd begun their journey. The other woman had had to take the help of some other girl to put the sleeping woman into the cab. He'd stayed quiet of course, and had just watched them doing their business. He'd found it a little suspicious, but he'd said nothing.
He stopped at their destination, and turned back to voice out the amount he'd get.
The woman awake, put her finger on her lips, gave him the money, and gestured him to help her get the sleeping woman out.
He simply did as he was told, and opened the back-door. He pushed the other woman away to the side and leaned forward to pull the legs of the sleeping woman towards him, to get a better grip on her waist to pull her up.
But that slight movement roused her, and the woman standing behind him cursed.
"Shit! Should have bought a higher dose!"
The woman waking up sat up, and blinked sleepily, letting her eyes scan her surroundings. The driver backed away to let her come out herself. But something strange happened. The woman suddenly looked stricken with fear, then started hiccuping, her breath coming in short gasps.
A push moved him away, and the woman who'd been standing at his side scrambled into the car, rubbing the other other woman's forehead and back.
"Ray? Snap out of it! Don't panic, everything's alright. Come on, don't."
The other woman just kept breathing hard, and the driver watched her, a little shocked. What the hell was happening to her?
And then she passed out.
"Shit!"
The driver just stood there, his eyes wide.
"What the hell, man! Help me out! We need to get her inside, out of this car, right now!"
The driver seemed to get his bearings, and he quickly helped her get the woman named Ray out of the car, both of them carrying the passed out woman between them. His eyes fell on the board hanging above the doors he was now walking through with the women.
"Psychiatrist?"
"You got a problem with that?'
The driver quickly looked down, realizing he'd voiced it aloud. Well, that would explain what had seemed off about the women. The woman he was helping carry was definitely a patient of some sort.
"Ray?"
A receptionist quickly ran up to them, as fast as she could in heels, then looked at the woman he was carrying.
"What happened?!"
The other woman simply shook her head.
"Not now. Get Blue, quick! And some water would be nice!"
The receptionist ran off, while they placed the woman they'd been carrying on a seat.
"Thank you. You can go now."
The driver just looked at the woman on the seat, and walked out.
"What happened Scarlett?"
Scarlett looked up at Blue and the water in Rachel's hand.
"Later. Just help me right now."
The three woman, once successfully being able to make Ray conscious, moved back to let her have some space.
"I..."
Ray looked at all three woman standing in front of her, her heart beating erratically. She felt so shaken. The soft seats, the steering wheel, the brakes, the goddamn breaks... She could have died! But...
How did she get on that? That wretched thing that killed people?
Scarlett put her hand on Ray's shoulder.
"It's okay. Everything is okay."
"I...how did I get-"
Ray cleared her throat to get rid of the hoarseness.
"-on that car?"
Ray looked at everyone, and she realized Scarlett was rubbing her temples, very hard.
"Scar?"
Scarlett just glanced at her with tired eyes, and Ray, though she wanted to press her, ask her how she got on that thing, she just numbly mumbled a "Leave it", her heart still beating fast.
Blue came closer, and bent down to her level.
"Why don't you go lie down on that bed, have a moment? Would you want to drink some more water?"
Ray slowly got up, her legs a little wobbly, and nodded her head.
"Yes and yes."
Blue smiled, and together, Blue helping Ray, they walked off to Blue's office.
Ray just managed to hear Rachel sigh, while murmuring, "She'll be fine."
I'll be fine.
There wasn't much conviction in that thought, but as Blue helped her lay down on the bed, she understood one thing.
They know that I'll be fine.
But what do I know?
"Take some time, I'll be back in a few minutes. We'll talk, okay?"
Blue left Ray alone, and walked out after handing her a bottle of water.
Ray nodded, her eyes following Blue, as she gave her a smile. And then her white heels stepped out of the office door, and it softly fell shut, effectively reigning the silence in the room.
Ray could only manage to sip a little from the bottle, her thirst quenched by her thoughts.
Ray absent-mindedly put the bottle aside, and clasped her hands together on her stomach, her mind a little restless.
The sound of the door opening roused a drowsy Ray. Blue walked inside and sat down on her chair, swinging around to turn towards the bed.
"How are you feeling, sweetie?"
Ray was trying to fight the sleep, really trying, to stop it from taking over her senses.
"Drowsy."
Blue bit the insides of her cheek, and nodded. But of course, that was how it was supposed to be.
Only Ray didn't know why she was feeling drowsy.
Ray somehow managed to look at Blue.
"We need to talk?"
She watched Blue's face shift in and out of focus,while her ears heard the word "Yes."
Blue was talking again.
"I'll go straight to my question."
Ray widened her eyes, trying to stop the sleep from closing her eyes. Her eyes were watering.
"Yes please."
Blue straightened her top, her face now a professional mask.
"You had an accident."
Blue rubbed her eyes.
"That's old news."
"Not everyone managed to make it, unscathed."
Ray narrowed her eyes, sleep affecting her, along with her racing heart rattling her nerves.
"Wha-?"
Ray watched Blue turn her eyes towards her clasped hands, now clenched on her stomach, as she lay still on the bed.
"Why don't you tell me why sitting inside a car sets you off?"
Ray clenched her fingers, the veins straining on her wrists, her hands shaking, feeling heat cloud around her body. Anger, fury, frustration, and a hell lot of emotions were pulsing through her veins, all of which were now directed towards Blue.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
Blue stood up from her chair, her steps taking her towards Ray, and Ray watched her, her body instinctively moving away, towards the wall behind, her body now stuck to the wall.
Blue now stood in front of the bed, her hands on the mattress.
"It's okay, don't panic. It's just me. You have to talk to me right? If I don't know what I'm talking about, you need to tell me what I am wrong about, right?"
Ray touched the wall, her body now as far away from Blue as possible, but the sleep, the fatigue, was clouding her senses.
And she didn't even want to talk, she didn't have to. There was no need. What was there to talk about? They were mistaken, so what? Not like she had signed up for correcting everyone's misconceptions. She might as well give in, to that sleep. That was better than talking about herself, about things that didn't happen, things that didn't need explaining.
"You-you're wrong."
Blue was now leaning towards her, her face awfully close.
"What's wrong, Ray?"
You, you're wrong. Just like all of them.
"Ray?"
But Ray had given in to that force, that was sucking in all her thinking, her senses, her mind, and now she was gone. At least for a while.
Blue cursed her luck.
Her phone pinged, breaking the silence.
"Everything working fine?"
Her fingers started typing, but she paused, then deleting it all, she started typing again.
"The pills seem to be working pretty fine."
~*~
Don't kill me please, I know I'm late with the update. Studies have been occupying most of my time and attention, and hence the delay. Forgive me.
And up there we have Frida Gustavsson, our lovely Scarlett Cole.
Oh, and I have been featured in Wattpad's Dangerous Love interview book.
The whole thing's been awesome! With my book featured in their reading list, the interview was just another great opportunity. And so, to know more about me, the author behind this book, and so much more, here's the link!
https://my.w.tt/La2R6DSB8K
I absolutely love every single one of you, and do try to stick with me and my lousy updates, will you?
Love,
Orlena