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Dedication: JgAuthor for saying this story has become one of your favourites. I hope you do decide to check out my other stories and enjoy them as much as you do this one! <3
Recap:
A doctor walks past me and flickers his eyes to me, a look of disapproval on his face. I see the judgement in his eyes. I lower my head and my shoulders sag. I look at my skimpy skirt and mid-drift top, feeling ashamed of myself.
I shield my face from his gaze. I hate the smell of this hospital. It reminds me of the last time I was here.
I came home from school. My mother was on the kitchen floor, her wrists bleeding. I was only fifteen and I drove her to the hospital. I didn't even know how to drive. But I did.
Staggering to my feet, I fall on my knees on the hard floor and throw up into the bin, wishing I was anywhere else, but here.
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"Where are you going?"
"Out!" I say in a rush as I sprint past mum and out the door.
I feel shaky as I fall behind the wheel. Every second that passes, feels like I'm slowly letting Miles down more and more.
When I pull into the car park, my tires crunch against the loose gravel. My headlights pour across the vacant lot, until they land on his motorbike. My stomach lurches. He's still here, which confirms my suspicions.
Something bad has happened.
I step out of my car and hesitantly walk towards the bike. It looks the exact same as it always does.
I keep quiet as I begin to search the grounds, once again, returning to the locker room. I begin to feel nauseous when I can't find anything. I scour the oval and the perimeter of the field. By the time I get to the bus shelter at the end of the oval, my shoulders are sagged and my feet dragging. I feel helpless until I see it.
Blood.
There is spots of blood covering the grass and some of the grass is flattened down, as if someone had been lying in it. I drop to my knees and let out a whimper.
Oh my God.
Feeling panicked, I leap to my feet and make a run for it. I throw myself into the driver seat, my heart beating so fast, it feels like it might jump out of my chest. My tires squeal against the road as I plant my foot, heading straight to the hospital. I can only hope he has made it to the hospital, if he's hurt.
I park my car under cover and hastily pay the machine. I walk in, rubbing my arms. The air conditioning is cool and the air is polluted with the smell of sensitisation.
My eyes are pulled to the waiting room. A dark-haired girl is hunched over, shivering. I blink a few times, recognising her.
"Emily?"
Her head snaps up at the sound of my voice. Her cheeks are stained with mascara and her eyes puffy. She gets to her feet, looking faint.
"It's Miles', isn't it?" I whisper, walking to her. "He's hurt?"
She nods weakly.
"I am so sorry, Isobel. I am so, so sorry," she cries, before weakly walking towards me.
She wraps her slender arms around me and I stiffen in surprise.
"This... This is my fault," she whispers.
***
The next few hours are a blur.
I sit in the waiting room, watching people rush in and out of the emergency room.
Some time ago, I was joined by Finn, mum, Kiarra and Jai. Mum bought us all a coffee and donuts, to put something in our stomachs. I lean forward in the seat, my legs beginning to cramp from sitting for so long.
An hour or so ago, a doctor came out and spoke to mum. She was the closest thing to a parent here, considering no one can get in contact with Miles' father.
"Isobel, you need to go home. You're exhausted," she says to me, squeezing my knee.
"I'm okay," I mumble numbly.
"We can't see him tonight. There's no point staying here. Go home, shower and get some rest. We can come back here tomorrow morning."
"I don't want him to wake up and think no one is here for him," I tell her.
"He won't wake up." I look at mum sharply and she quickly widens her eyes. "I mean, he won't wake up until tomorrow morning. I promise."
I rub my face, my eyes stinging. I weakly nod, pushing myself from the uncomfortable seat.
Jai gives me a warm hug, before he leaves. Finn and mum travel home in mum's car, while Kiarra takes my keys. She wraps an arm around my shoulders.
"I'll stay tonight," she murmurs.
I nod, leaning my head on her shoulder as we walk.
The radio breaks the silence as we make our way back home. I lean my forehead against the window, watching the streetlights rush past, feeling too drained to speak.
I move like a robot. I walk inside, shower, get dressed and fall into bed. Kiarra crawls in beside me and turns so that we're looking at each other.
"I'm sorry you didn't get your special night," she whispers.
I close my eyes and sigh. "Me too."
"It will be okay. He will be okay."
"He has to be," I murmur sleepily.
I beg sleep to consume me, but I lay there for a long time. I toss a few times, trying to find a position that's comfortable.
"Can't sleep?" I hear Kiarra's voice ask.
"No. Can you?"
"No."
"This is messed up," I sigh.
"It is."
I bury my face into my pillow. My body feels so tired, but my mind is alert. Running, whirling, possibilities swamping me. Questions, assumptions, scenarios. They bounce inside my head, making me feel dizzy.
"Is?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I tell you something? Something I've never told anyone?" she whispers.
"Of course," I nod at her.
"I should have told you already..." her voice sounds far away and thoughtful.
"What is it?"
"There's something you should know. About Samara. About... Samara and I."
My eyes open. I faintly see her silhouette in the light that's peeping through my blinds. She's facing me, her hands tucked up, covering her face, as if scared I will judge her.
"She... told me she loved me."
I frown. "She told us both that all the time."
"I mean... Love me."
I blink, trying to figure out what she means. "Like... love you more than just a friend?"
"Exactly."
My lips part. "What?"
"And we... made out. A few times."
"What?" I repeat, trying to process what she is telling me.
"It started when we were drunk. She did it so casually, like, it didn't seem like a big deal. But one night, she kissed me out of nowhere and told me she loved me. And I realised that she really did. Love me, I mean."
"Did you feel the same way?" I whisper.
"No," she replies hesitantly. "It was fun at first because it was something I'd never done before, but it meant more to her than it did to me. I've liked Jai forever. Ever since I first met him."
"Oh."
"She didn't really take it well. She was so rude. Saying all these horrible things to me, like I'm heartless, I used her, I always chose you over her, absurd things. I tried to reason with her... but she is so stubborn. Things weren't good between us. Then I went on holidays... and when I came back, she told me she had been with Jai. She did it, because she knew I chose him over her. That was the lowest thing she could have done to me."
"If she likes girls, why would she be with so many guys?" I question quietly.
"To hide the fact that she likes girls," she shrugs. "It's obvious, isn't it?"
"It wasn't, until now..." I trail off.
"She kissed you, too, right? When I left?"
My heart is beginning to beat faster. "She did, but it didn't mean anything..."
"It didn't mean anything to you, because you liked Miles. And guess what? You didn't return her feelings, so she reacted the way she does. She went after Miles. Don't you see? She does this, over and over."
"But she always says she's in love with Eli..." I trail off, trying to make sense of all of this.
"It's a lie. He doesn't go to our school, she didn't have to go out of her way to try to be with him. She just says it, to fool everyone."
I roll onto my back and stare up to my ceiling. My head is spinning.
"She'd never to commit to a guy, because she doesn't like guys. The signs were there, Isobel. We just didn't see them."
I rub my fingers over my eyes, my head beginning to throb.
"I shouldn't have brought this up tonight. You've already got so much on your mind. I should have told you a long time ago."
"No, it's fine. I'm glad you told me. I honestly had no idea."
"I know," she whispers.
"That's horrible that she can't be honest."
"She tried. In our own way. She told me and I rejected her. I didn't mean to... I just didn't feel the same way," she mumbles tiredly. "And now I hate her. I hate her for the things she's done to me. And I hate that she thinks I hate her for how she feels. That's not it. It's the way she handles things. The horrible things she says. The fact that she goes out of her way to hurt me. And you."
"I... I don't even know what to say," I shake my head. "I can't believe I didn't know any of this. She was my best friend. Why didn't she tell me?"
"It's harder than you think, Isobel," she says to me with a heavy sigh. "It's harder than you think."
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Did anyone see that coming? I haven't seen any comments guessing it, so I'm hoping it was a surprise! Do you think that makes a bit more sense as to why Samara is acting the way she is? Tell me your thoughts!
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