seventeen
THE ONLY THING SEHUN WANTED that dark night was closure. Closure for why Yixing was dead. Closure for who did this to him. And not only that, but closure for if Junmyeon ever wanted to see Sehun again.
It had been multiple days since Sehun had to watch Yixing die. And each day went by slower and slower. The image kept creeping back into his mind at the worst times—most of those times were in his sleep. He'd wake up drenched in sweat, the moment where Yixing was shot would play in his head. It was terrifying.
He hadn't talked to Junmyeon since the day they were caught. That seemed to have been killing Sehun the most.
He knew showing up at Junmyeon's window this late at night could end badly, but not as bad as he would feel if he went any longer without seeing Junmyeon's face. He needed to talk to someone about the situation.
Three soft knocks on the window was all it took. Junmyeon raised the blinds, revealing his somber face and messy room. He winced as he lifted the window.
They just looked at each other for a while, Junmyeon unsure of what to say, and Sehun unsure of how to address the situation.
"Can I come in?" Sehun asked quietly as he rested his hand on the pane of the window. Junmyeon simply nodded.
"Just whisper okay? My dad is home," Junmyeon instructed as Sehun made himself comfortable in the tiny bedroom.
Sehun sat on the bed, Junmyeon doing the same. Junmyeon could tell something was off, for Sehun almost never acted this way around him. He could even see tears slightly forming in his eyes.
"What's going on?" Junmyeon asked as he placed a hand over Sehun's. The younger stayed quiet for a while.
"Yixing, he..." Sehun started, staring at the ground. "He died a few days ago. He was shot while in a fight or something, and it's just been so difficult. I had to watch him die. And now I always picture the moment he was shot. He was a good person. He didn't deserve that."
Junmyeon pulled Sehun closer in his arms once Sehun let a tear fall down his face. Junmyeon lifted his head so he wouldn't have to watch Sehun cry. He had never seen the boy cry—he didn't want to start now.
"I'm sorry, Sehun. You didn't deserve to see him die, either." Junmyeon tightly held his hand. Sehun wasn't really crying anymore. His breathing stayed normal, just the tears falling down his face representing the mourning he had been enduring.
As Sehun rested his head on Junmyeon's shoulder and leaned into his side, he finally felt the closure he had been searching for. Junmyeon still accepted him. He still cared for him. It was okay. They were okay.
But Junmyeon didn't seem as okay as Sehun had wished.
"Are you alright?" Sehun asked as he wiped a tear from his face. Junmyeon breathed in deeply.
"I guess, yeah. It was hard not seeing you all these days," Junmyeon explained quietly. Sehun looked at Junmyeon's hand. He wasn't wearing the bracelet. He felt himself hurt even more.
He brushed his fingers over Junmyeon's wrist. Another tear fell. Instead of speaking of it, Sehun just laced his fingers between Junmyeon's and gripped his hand.
And they sat there. Peacefully with one another again. Close and holding hands. Just what they both had wanted. But as always, good things come to an end.
"You," the door swung open, a cold breeze entering the room along with the drunken self of Junmyeon's father. His eyes were sunken, probably caused by the intake of the beer he held in his hand. "I told you if you did this again, you'd be done." His words slurred as he shouted at his son. Sehun sat up, keeping a blank expression. Junmyeon was the same. His face was bland, so much you couldn't tell what emotions he had been feeling. His eyes wide, pulling back tears. mouth in a straight line, eyebrows relaxed.
Sehun held Junmyeon's hand so tight, the skin covering his knuckles turned a ghostly white. The older felt real pain as his hand started to turn red.
Junmyeon looked down towards Sehun's direction. "Go," Junmyeon whispered. "Save yourself."
Junmyeon's father must have heard that statement, because the second Sehun began to stand up, the man across the room stormed towards his direction and took a sharp swing at Sehun's jaw. The force pushed him into the wall, hitting his head once again. He winced in pain and slouched over.
"Ha, you're even worse. You're the one who turned my son into a homo, right? Like he's even my son." The man set his beer on the desk in the room before pinning Sehun to the ground. He continued to take sharp blows at Sehun's face, blood eventually dripping from his temple and out his nose. Once he was done with Sehun's face, he started punching the boy in his stomach. With each swing, Sehun let out groans of agony.
Junmyeon stood up, his expression now angry.
"You can hurt me, but you can't hurt him." Junmyeon clenched his fists at his sides. His father turned around to see where Junmyeon had been standing. The stare Junmyeon got from his father put the boy in a transfixed position. He immediately regretted what he had said. Junmyeon braced himself for what his dad was about to do to him.
The man pushed Junmyeon to the ground, his head knocking against the ground with force. Junmyeon had expected him to just take constant swings at his face, but instead, the adult grabbed his beer from the desktop. Before Junmyeon could take a breath, the beer bottle that was less than half full was smashed against the skin of the boy's collarbone, the glass cutting into his flesh. He let out a sharp noise of pain, feeling the blood starting to seep from his neck area. He couldn't help but let tears fall as the stinging throbbed in his arm.
"Scum." The older man kicked his son, walking back towards the doorway. "I want you gone by morning."
The man the door shut as he exited the bedroom. Silence was all that occupied the ears of the two lovers as their breathing became slower and their hearts beat softer. Sehun managed to let out small noises of pain, but could barely move towards Junmyeon to make sure he was okay. As much as he wanted to hold Junmyeon and comfort him, he could barely stay awake.
The pain on Junmyeon's arm was one thing, but the pain he felt as he realized how truly lonely he was was too immense to comprehend. He began to feel numb.
Junmyeon stumbled as he stood up. He walked to where Sehun had been laying. Seeing Sehun in that state put an uneasy feeling in Junmyeon's stomach. He didn't feel sad, and he didn't feel pity. He felt angry. Furious, even. Mad that his own father—his own blood—had done this to the one person he loved most. Sehun hadn't ever looked this lifeless to Junmyeon. He was always full of color and joy. He was always full of life. But now, he looked empty.
"You will stay with me, Jun," Sehun trailed on. His voice was quiet and dry. It scared Junmyeon.
"I can't do that. You've done enough for me." Junmyeon lightly touched the clean areas of Sehun's face.
"Can...can you drive us...please," Sehun breathed. Junmyeon just nodded. He barely knew how to drive—not since he failed his first course of driving school. But Sehun couldn't even keep his eyes open. Junmyeon moved his hands to where Sehun's rested and held them tightly. Sehun didn't squeeze back.
Junmyeon kissed Sehun's forehead before he started to search his room for a bag of any sort. Once he succeeded, he began to throw random articles of clothing into the bag. All the while, the biting pain would shoot through his upper body as the cuts on his chest moved with his arm.
Once he had his bag filled with all he needed for the upcoming weeks, Junmyeon helped Sehun stand on his feet. The older made his way out the window before helping Sehun crawl out himself. The two then made their ways into Sehun's car. Junmyeon situated Sehun in the front seat, buckling him in and taking the keys to the car out his pocket. Junmyeon then got into the driver's seat and started the car.
"Jun, that isn't enough. Just please stay with me," Sehun begged as Junmyeon backed out of the driveway. "Where else will you go?"
"I'll come back for more later. And I'll find somewhere. Don't worry about me, okay?"
"Junmyeon, I won't let you do this. I love you. I need you right now." Junmyeon could sense a panic in Sehun's voice. He set a hand on the boy's arm, trying to calm him down.
As they made their way through the quiet streets and into Sehun's neighborhood, Sehun would occasionally groan from the pain he had felt. Junmyeon, however, kept in the ache he had felt from the cuts on his neck and collarbone. As much as he tried to convince himself that the pain was subsiding, it just grew even worse.
Junmyeon pulled into the driveway of Sehun's house, running to the front door before helping Sehun's out of the car. He brought Dongchul out the the vehicle to help Sehun get on his feet once again.
"What the hell happened to him?" Sehun's foster father exclaimed as he saw his beat-up son. Sehun began to sit up, Junmyeon grabbing the boy's arm as he did so.
"He got beat up. He can barely walk," Junmyeon replied. The two put Sehun's arms around their shoulders. Junmyeon's wound began to pulse shooting pains through his chest. He winced and gritted his teeth.
They lay Sehun on the couch in the living room, Junmyeon sitting next to where his head rested. He stroked Sehun's hair, trying to make his pain diminish. The younger eventually peacefully closed his eyes.
Dongchul entered the room with a bottle of peroxide and some tissue. He kneeled before the couch, pouring the substance into the cloth and patting it where Sehun's leisures were. He winced as the stinging ran through his head. He reached for Junmyeon's hand.
"Stay, Junmyeon. You're hurt too," Sehun exhaled. Dongchul exchanged looks with Junmyeon, and then he noticed the cuts on his neck and shoulder.
"Junmyeon, your cuts could get infected. Here," Dongchul said as he helped Sehun sit up. He poured some peroxide on a tissue, motioning for Junmyeon to lie down. He did so, pulling his shirt down and exposing his entire shoulder area. Dongchul pressed the cloth against the wounds. He felt the same misery as Sehun once the substance made contact with his open skin.
Once Dongchul was done cleaning up their wounds, the two made their way upstairs into Sehun's room. The younger had gotten some energy back, for he was able to slowly but surely get up the stairs. But the pain in his stomach from the kicking he had to take was still hadn't gone away.
Junmyeon and Sehun made themselves comfortable beneath the duvet, Junmyeon curled up close to Sehun's side. He ignored his wounded shoulder, for he just wanted to be there with Sehun. He wanted to pretend like his father didn't do this to them. He didn't want to accept the fact that he won. He beat the both of them. As strong as their love was, they were defeated. He wanted to think that all wasn't true.
The two froze in their places. Sehun had his eyes open. Junmyeon let out a deep and shaky breath. Sehun held his hand, waiting for another action from Junmyeon. But it was unexpected when he broke down into tears. The painful sounds of sobs brought tears to Sehun's own eyes as Junmyeon brought himself closer with Sehun.
Sehun softly stroked Junmyeon's back, hoping to calm him down.
"What am I gonna do, Sehun? I'm homeless now," Junmyeon panicked. Sehun truly didn't know what to say. As long as his foster parents knew they were in love, Junmyeon couldn't spend any more nights with Sehun. And being on the streets would kill him. He had no money, just enough clothes to last him a week. He wouldn't make it. Not without Sehun.
"I'll be your home for now. I love you, okay?" Sehun reassured, wiping the tears from beneath Junmyeon's eyes. He bit his lip, looking up at Sehun.
"I think you're the only person who's ever told me that."
Sehun softly brushed his fingers through Junmyeon's hair, exposing the boy's ear. Sehun grabbed his phone from his pocket. He put an earbud in Junmyeon's ear, then placing one in his own. He played Over And Over Again by Nathan Sykes.
Junmyeon enjoyed being there with Sehun as the two listened to the music in their ears. The man singing had a deep and smooth voice, which went perfectly with the moderate piano melody in the background.
Just put your heart in my hands, I promise it won't get broken.
"Sehun," Junmyeon spoke. The younger opened his eyes more, for he had begun to fall asleep. "What's your favorite song? Of all time, I mean."
Sehun softly brushed his thumb against Junmyeon's cheek. He wasn't smiling, but he also wasn't frowning. He just looked empty, like Junmyeon's father had knocked all the emotion he had out of him.
"Go to sleep, Jun."
I'll love you over and over again.