"What are we going to call him?" Leo asked as I held my newborn baby in my arms, close to my chest. He was barely hours old but I already felt a connection to him.
"I'm not sure," I answered honestly, looking up at Leo.
"Well we could always name him after me," Leo joked sending me a wink.
I didn't particularly want to name our child after his father, our baby deserved a name of his own. A name that shouldn't bestow standards on him at such a young age.
"No, he needs his own name, not his father's... I just don't know what we will name him," I sighed, looking back down at the sleeping baby in my arms.
"I understand bella, there's no rush to think of a name, After all, it will stick with him all his life," Leo said, I nodded my head in his words.
Suddenly, Leo's phone began to ring, startling the baby who began crying loudly. My heartbeat sped up, as I realised I didn't know what to do.
I looked back and forth between Leo and the baby, frozen on the spot. Leo stared back alarmed, with his phone still ringing in his hand.
"Comfort him Leah!" Leo yelled over the baby's crying. Instantly, I began shushing and rocking my arms, attempting to quiet him down, but it wasn't working. One minute the baby was like a sleeping angel, the next he was a ticking time bomb.
"Maybe he's hungry?" Leo suggested. I frowned at that, I had literally just fed him an hour ago... or maybe he was hungry.
I skillfully took my breast out of my nightdress and guided my baby to my nipple, just as the nurse had shown me and to my surprise, he started suckling fast.
Wow, was this child going to be the death of me.
"He's going to be a handful," I groaned, leaning my head back and sighed heavily. "He gets it from you, Leo."
"Well he is my son, so what do you expect," Leo chuckled, standing near me. He enclasped his hand with mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"I know he's just been born, but we do need to talk about what my mother said," I hated the words that came out of my mouth, it felt like I couldn't just accept the happiness that was bestowed upon me. It felt wrong to be happy when there was obviously something wrong with my life, we weren't safe.
"I don't feel safe Leo, how can we bring our son into the world knowing that there are people who don't want us to be happy and may want to do him harm?" I questioned my husband.
All throughout my pregnancy, my life and my baby's life had been endangered. It wasn't fair to bring an innocent life into our dangerous world.
Leo sighed, he ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, that was once tidy and slick back. I watched as he clenched his knuckles tightly, causing the bones to crack.
"I'll look into it, what was it your mother said? What kind of woman, young or old?"
"A young girl and she said that she didn't know her name, so perhaps she came from your side of the family?" I said unsurely.
Leo nodded his head, but the hard look didn't leave his face.
I looked down at our son, and saw that he was asleep, no longer feeding. I quickly covered myself up and lifted him in my arms, to burp him, rubbing his back soothingly. Despite him being asleep, he actually did let out a small burp, leaving excess milk to drip down onto my shoulder. I cleaned his mouth and placed a sweet kiss on his forehead.
"You must be tired Bella, let me take him and you can rest," Leo suggested standing, to take our precious baby.
I nodded my head, and lifted our baby up, Leo effortlessly took him in his arms and held him close.
I watched as Leo cradled our child and whispered in Italian to him. I never thought I'd see the day where Leo was being fatherly and caring for a small baby. It was such a precious sight to see, and I knew that the memory would be forever engraved in my heart and mind.
I slowly laid down and tried to get comfortable, despite being in so much pain. My eyes slowly closed and I fell asleep to the sound of Leo's soothing voice, whispering soft words.
**
I had to stay in the hospital for three days, the doctors wouldn't let me go home because I had lost a lot of blood whilst giving birth, and they were weary that something would happen to me. It was a load of rubbish, I felt fine, I was only tired and drained, but to them, I wasn't alright.
I hated every minute of staying in the hospital, I would've thought that Leo would want me to go home straight away, but he agreed with the doctors and refused to let me go home without telling the doctors.
Angelo and everyone had wanted to visit me in hospital but I wouldn't have it, I wanted to be fresh and happier when they all met the baby. It made no sense for them to come to the hospital where they could only spend less than two hours due to the visitation rights of the hospital.
"You ready to go home babe?" Leo asked, walking into my hospital room.
For the last three days, Leo had stayed with me and the baby despite being told not to. He had just come back from our home where he went to freshen up and also get the car seat sorted out for our baby.
Wincing as I walked around the room slowly, I grabbed a cardigan and put it on. I was still in a lot of pain but I didn't want to show it to the nurses in case they thought I should stay longer. I needed to be in the comfort of my own home and I had no doubts that Leo would look after me and the baby.
"Can you help me get him ready, sorry I didn't do it earlier. He was hungry and then he fell asleep so I fell asleep," I sighed, I had never been so tired in my life. The baby slept mostly through the night, waking up naturally for a feed or a nappy change. Leo was always there to help me but I still couldn't help the tiredness that I felt.
"Of course Bella," Leo smiled, taking our baby out of his incubator and laid him down on the hospital bed.
I quickly went to the bathroom, knowing that I now had a weak bladder, even though it was weak when I was over 7 months pregnant. It was even worse now. I could remember the countless times where I would sneeze, whilst being pregnant and I would accidentally wet myself, unintentionally.
After doing my business, I washed my face and brushed out the messy knots in my hair. I couldn't wait to go home and sink into my bathtub. Though the hospitals had showers, they weren't comfortable and my showers were cut short because I couldn't stand for long, due to the intense pain and soreness that I felt.
"We're gonna have to get him registered soon, but he doesn't even have a name yet," Leo sighed, not taking his eyes off the road, to look back at me.
"Yeah I know, I just don't know what to call him and it's obviously not right that we keep calling him the baby," I murmured softly, my eyes gazing over my sleeping baby, in his car seat.
Leo and I gathered all my stuff and left the hospital room that I had been in since I was in labour. The easy part was discharging myself and signing the paperwork, the hard part was trying to locate where Leo had parked. I couldn't believe he actually forgot where the car was, it was totally unlike Leo to forget something like this; unless he was extremely tired.
After loading everything into the car, and putting the baby safely at the back, we were ready to go home. Just as a precaution and maybe because I was being slightly overbearing, I had decided to sit at the back of the car, with our son.
"You know, he's sleeping nothing is going to happen to him," Leo stated, as he drove home.
"I know, but I'm just making sure he's alright. It is his first car journey after all," I said. It was hard to believe that after nine long months, he was finally here in the world. I couldn't help but feel sad at the fact that I was no longer pregnant. I did enjoy carrying the baby but at the same time, it was incredibly difficult, especially in the last few months.
We reached home in less than fifteen minutes and a realisation hit me, like a brick, I hadn't been home since I went into labour. I had no way of preparing for the baby, let alone I didn't know if I had even finished the room or if the house was a mess.
"Leo, is the house a mess?" I asked abruptly, quickly getting out of the car an walked to the baby's side fast. Leo was already there, getting the baby out.
"No, Leah," he said dismissively.
"What about his room, what about the Moses basket we planned on getting to put in our room?"
"It's all there Leah, I made sure of it before I brought you two home," Leo said holding the car seat and most of the bags. I only carried one thing, which wasn't even heavy.
I followed behind Leo, up the drive and to our house where he unlocked the door.
"CONGRATULATIONS!" Multiple voices cheered as soon as I set foot inside my house. I jumped at the welcome and also stared widely at the sight in front of me.
Angelo, Don, April and Lia all stood near the stairs smiling widely at Leo, the baby and me. I scanned the hallway of my house and saw that on the walls were multiple signs saying 'IT'S A BOY' in blue signs. The entrance of the house was decorated with blue banners and balloons and there was even a stack of presents wrapped in shiny blue wrapping paper near the stairs.
"Let me look at my nephew!" Lia screamed, racing towards Leo, and practically tried to snatch the car seat, in which the baby was in, off him.
"Rosalia, calm the fuck down! He's sleeping!" Leo yelled at her, causing her to instantly calm down and mutter a quiet 'oops'. She turned her attention to me and grabbed me in a hug, instead.
"Well done Leah, I'm so proud of you! Leo told us how strong you were and brave," She said kindly, pulling away. April was instantly by my side and pulled me into a hug.
"Thanks, girls, I think we better go to the lounge, I don't think I can stand for much longer," I said honestly.
Their eyes widened in realisation and all at once I was being ushered into the lounge and being pushed into one of my couches.
Leo sat beside me and slowly put the car seat down on the floor. I was surprised that the baby was still sleeping, after all the noise that our friends had made.
I looked away from my sleeping baby and gazed up at our friends who all stared at Leo and I intently.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Well, what's his name?" Angelo asked, in a sarcastic tone, causing me to stare back down at my unnamed baby.
Without thinking I opened my mouth.
"Luca.. his name is Luca," I said more to myself than anyone else.
I didn't dare look at Leo, after all, I just practically named our baby myself.
I felt Leo tense beside me, I didn't give him the chance to think of a name with me. I didn't even take into consideration that he might have hated the name, Luca.
Slowly, I peeked up at Leo and saw him staring down at me with a solemn look.
"Is that the name you want to give him?" Leo asked, clasping his hand in mine.
I almost did a double take, Leo wasn't angry at me?
"Yeah it is," I smiled softly, squeezing his hand.
"Wait, you didn't give him a name yet?" Lia's voice interrupted the moment Leo and I were having.
"Your point exactly?" Leo asked his sister with a glare.
"How could you not name your child? Surely, you would have thought of names-"
Leo's put his hand up to stop his sister from her rant and she instantly clammed her mouth shut.
"It's none of your business what Leah and I do with our child. You came here to see him, you've seen him, you can go now," Leo spat out.
That escalated really fast... I felt like I had to say something but at the same time, I did feel offended by Lia's words. We did have names picked out, in fact only one name had stuck by me for the duration of my pregnancy.
"Lia, I've always wanted to call the baby Luca," I began to slowly say.
"No Leah, you don't need to explain yourself," Leo stopped me, standing up in a manner that suggested he wanted to kick his sister out.
I stood up also, and slowly took the bab.. Luca out of the car seat. I cradled him to my chest, feeling all love and adoration that I had for this small human.
"In all fairness, I shouldn't call him Luca.. but I can't help but still mourn for the first baby I lost. I ahd a dream that my first baby was a boy and his name was Lucan, and I feel obliged to somehow keep his memory alive even though he was never really alive..." I could barely say anymore, I stopped talking and stared at the sleeping baby in my arms. His cheeks were so chubby, his nose cute as a button and I just couldn't believe that I was given a second chance.
"I'm sorry Leah, I respect you so much and no mother should have lost a child. I'm happy that I have a nephew, I really am," I heard Lia say, she was by my side, peering at her little nephew in my arms.
"Here, you haven't held him yet," I laughed, trying to stop the tears from welling in my eyes.
I gently placed Luca in her arms and she supported his head and cradled him like he was the most fragile thing on earth.
"Dio, he looks so much like you Leo," She gushed out, obviously smitten by the little baby.I watched as Luca slowly opened his eyes and stared at his auntie.
"Green eyes as well," she laughed.
Everyone took a turn to hold Luca, I was surprised that he didn't cry or even signify that he needed feeding or changing.
Once Luca got to Angelo, he began to cry and that was my cue to go in and save him before he dropped my poor baby.
"Aw it's okay, what did bad uncle Angelo do to you, was he mean?" I cooed, and almost instantly Luca stopped crying.
"I didn't even do anything to him! Leo what the fuck did you tell your son about me?!" Angelo yelled.
"Hey, no swearing around Luca!" I scowled.
"It's not my fault he can sense idiots around him," Leo laughed, making his way towards me.
We spent the rest of the day with everyone, relaxing and celebrating the arrival of Luca.
I laid down in bed, exhausted but content. I couldn't wait to get a proper night's sleep. Leo flopped down on the bed next to me, he instantly moved closerand wrapped his arms around my waist.
"I can't stop thinking about what Don said, he's right," I whispered.
"They don't need to meet him, Leah, they made it clear that they want nothing to do with our son," Leo replied, kissing the hollow of my neck.
"I know but sooner or later they are going to have to meet their grandchild, it's obvious he is the heir to the business," as much as I hated that fact, there were no doubts that my son would grow up to be involved in the mafia. I knew there were ways to get out of it but it would be a fight to do so.
"Let's focus on the present, don't think about the future yet bella," Leo sighed, holding me tight. "I've missed sleeping with you."
"Me too."
"Goodnight mio amore," Leo whispered, kissing my neck again.
"Goodnight Leo."
I slowly began to doze off, feeling comfortable and content that I was finally going to sleep better but I thought too fast...
Luca's crying made me groan and grumble, he was in the same room as us but we still had to get up physically, to fetch him from where he was sleeping.
"He's hungry," Leo said, not bothering to unwrap his arms from me.
"I know," I mumbled sleepily, pushing Leo's arms away. I slowly slid out of bed, turning on the bedside light.
Luca was nearer to me than to Leo, making it easier for me to get him whenever he cried at night. I picked up my crying baby and held him close.
"Hey sweetie, what's all the crying for?" I said in a soothing voice, Luca's cries began to stop and he made little noises indicating that he needed something.
I held him up to my nose, seeing if his nappy needed changing and it sure did.
"I'll be back Leo," I said, Leo didn't reply. Turning my head around, I saw he was fast asleep, holding my pillow close to his chest as if he was holding me. I laughed silently and cradled Luca.
"Daddy's sleeping," I told my son, his teary eyes staring wide, his little pouty lips trembling.
I began to walk to Luca's room, where we kept his changing table and also the rocking chair was there. It would be easier to feed him on the chair, I thought to myself.
Once Luca was changed and I had put his soothing lights on, that projected colourful shapes on the ceiling I sat down in the rocking chair and began to rock back and forth, whilst feeding Luca. He hungrily sucked at my breast and it surprised me how hungry he was, I had fed him an hour before I laid down in bed. This baby of ours was definitely demanding and it just made me smile how alike he was to his father even though he was days old.
I started to hum a familiar tune as I breastfed my baby, rocking on the chair.
Luca's eyes were wide open, staring at me. His green eyes were so vibrant and big, exactly like Leo's. There was definitely no way he would be Raphael's child, despite the fact that Leo and I had done a test to make sure. Leo was the only one out of his siblings to have green eyes, the rest has brown; like his mother.
I continued to feed my son, finding myself drifting off to sleep.
Leo
The bright sun shone through the curtains. Groaning slightly, I stretched my arms, trying to find Leah to pull her close to me; except I found that my bed was empty.
Instantly I sat up, opening my eyes to scan our bedroom. My eyes instantly went to the small basket my son slept in, except he wasn't in there.
"Leah!" I yelled out, darting out of bed, and grabbing my phone off the bedside table.
I quickly looked in the ensuite in case she was washing Luca, but she wasn't there.
I was about to run down the stairs when I stopped outside of Luca's room and saw that the door was wide open. Usually, we always kept all doors upstairs shut, it was a safety precaution that I had for a while. If a door was shut, I would be able to hear of it opened since most doors in the house creaked open and made an annoying nose; yet I didn't hear Leah go in this room last night.
I walked in and scanned the room, sighing in relief when I saw my wife fast asleep on the rocking chair, with Luca placed in her arms protectively. They were both fast asleep. My wife and son, my perfect family. I smiled at the thought and quickly unlocked my phone to capture this perfect and precious moment.
I had no clue that Leah had not returned to our bedroom since Luca woke up. She had spent all night looking after him, waking up every hour when he cried, changing him and feeding him. It was so obvious to tell that she cherished our son.
Leah longed for a baby, she longed to be a mother after the opportunity was stolen from her previously.
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and slowly walked up to my wife and child, being cautious not to wake them.
With ease, I slipped Luca out of Leah's arms. She stirred in her sleep, adjusting her position to get comfortable. What Leah didn't know about this rocking chair was that it reclined. I carefully pushed the button on the side of the chair and allowed Leah to stretch her legs out.
"Good morning Luca," I whispered to my son, he stared back at me with his identical green eyes. It was funny how he looked so much like me but hardly anything like Leah. I knew that the Russo genes were dominant but I never really knew how strong they were.
I placed Luca on the baby changing stand and began to take off his baby grow so that I could change his nappy and clothes.
I had only done this a few times, and I still had yet to master the act of changing a nappy. Leah had done all of the changing and I realised how very little I had done to help her with our child.
I took off Luca's dirty nappy and as soon as I did that I regretted it.
"Oh for fuck sake!" I yelled out as my cheeky baby started pissing on me.
"Stop it Luca! Fucking hell!" I cursed as I looked down to see that my chest was covered in my son's urine and was dripping down from my face also.
Suddenly, Luca began to cry, a loud shrieking cry that pierced my ears. How the fuck did this escalate so quickly from being a simple act of changing to an extreme disaster.
"Stop crying or you'll wake your mother up!" I told my son, attempting to clean him but to my dismay he did something disgusting again...
"Cazzo dell'inferno! Per l'amor di Dio!" (F*cking hell! For the love of God) I cursed darkly as I watched my son practically shit himself.
"Leo," Leah said in a quiet voice, I jumped at our calm her voice sounded and raised my head up. Leah was staring at me with curious eyes.
"Do you need help?"
I didn't want to admit to her that I was struggling, I knew that I needed to learn myself and to be honest I didn't want to appear incapable of caring for a baby. Not just any baby, our son.
"No, Bella," I lied casually. Leah's melodic laugh filled the room and she got up and made her way towards Luca and I.
Leah moved me out of the way, with her hip, standing in front of me and proceeded to change our son and clean him from everything that he had done.
"Watch me, it's easy once you get used to it," she said positively, but deep down I knew I never wanted to change a fucking nappy again.
"Well actually I think you both could do with a bath," Leah chuckled as she looked me up and down.
"Lesson number one, always be quick. As soon as fresh air hits a baby's bottom they will feel free and instantly do a poo or a wee," she told me with a small smile.
I watched as she grabbed a baby towel from the storage unit we had and lifted Luca up, holding him close to her chest.
"Follow me," Leah said, and I did as I was told and followed my wife to the bathroom.
"I'm gonna tell you how to get the right temperature of water for a baby's bath and then you're gonna bath him," Leah ordered me. I stared at her in shock.
"What about you?" I questioned, not bothering to hide the panic that was in my voice.
"I'll be here but I'm not the one who needs a bath, only you boys do," she chuckled.
I sighed heavily and listened to Leah's instructions and directions on how to get the bath ready.
Leah had said put a smaller baby bath in our big bath and explained the water temperatures and how much baby bath wash to put in. It surprised me that she knew so much and that I knew so little.
I sat down in the bigger bath, and Leah sat down outside of the bath and lowered Luca into his baby one.
This was the first bath that he was having since being born and let me just say one thing... it was fucking disastrous.
I wasn't cut out for bathing a baby, so I left the room as Leah washed him. He screamed and cried, clearly not used to being washed, water was splashed everywhere and Leah was soaked, due to how many time that Luca kicked his tiny little legs.
Once I had showered in another bathroom and dressed myself, I went to go and help Leah. She was practically done, but I could tell that she was tired.
Luca was wrapped up in a towel as she carried him back to his bedroom to dry him off and dress him.
"Bella, let me do that. Why don't you get dressed and dressed up?" I suggested as I realised that Leah was still in her pyjamas.
"It's fine, he's relaxed now and I don't want to get him upset," she sighed.
"Leah I can help, just let me-"
"He'll cry and scream with you Leo," she said sharply, turning around to give me a hard look.
I felt anger flash through me. It wasn't my fault I wasn't used to babies or that I didn't know how to look after one. The only way that I would learn was if I got used to my own baby.
"You can't just smother him with your attention Leah, he has two parents don't forget-"
"I know that Leo! Just let me do this and then you can have him after I feed him," she said firmly, leaving me no room to give my opinion.
This angered me, before I met Leah I never let anyone tell me what to do. It was always the other way round, but married life changed me and there was a huge part of me that hated it. I hated not being in control, the devil in me was fuming that a woman was telling me what to do. I had adjusted to it due to the fact that Leah was pregnant before and I knew I couldn't afford to upset her but now it was different. Leah was no longer pregnant, she no longer would call the shots. My blood was pumping, rage filling me and it was hard to control it.
"Forget it, I don't f*cking want him!" I yelled at Leah, watching as she flinched at my tone.
I watched as Leah turned around, facing away from Luca and glared at me sharply.
"What the hell did you say to me! What the hell is your damn problem Leo! What do you mean you don't want him?! Don't take it personal that you don't know how to care for him, it takes time you idiot! He's only been here for three days, three fucking days Leo!"
"I don't want him Leah." I said through gritted teeth. I didn't miss the flash of anger on Leah's face and I knew I was about to get an earful. I didn't mean the words that came out of my mouth but as usual Leah would exaggerate and assume the worst.
"You arrogant arsehole! How can you not want him, he is your son! Don't forget your first child died, you're lucky that Luca didn't as well, considering that his father is a dangerous man! You're lucky you even have a family with the life that we live, there are people out there who can't have children or even find someone to love and cherish and you're just taking me and your son for granted-"
My eyes looked away from Leah and turned to our son. Everything happened in slow motion, Luca rolled on his side and kept on rolling and before I knew it he rolled off the changing unit, my instincts kicked in. I pushed Leah out of the way with force, causing her to fall to the floor, and quickly grabbed Luca before he too, fell to the floor.
My son's shrieks and cries filled the room and I held him close to my chest, attempting to calm him down.
"LUCA!" Leah screamed, her scream sounding strangled. She got up from the floor and darted to us, taking Luca from me and held him close to her.
"My sweet baby, oh my god! I'm so sorry!" Leah wailed.
Luca was fine, I had caught him before he hit the floor but I was guessing the shock was a lot to take in... for all of us.
Wrapping my arms around Leah's shaking body, I felt regretful, Luca would have never rolled off the changing stand if I wasn't such a dickhead.
"I'm sorry Leah, I'm so sorry, he's fine Bella. Stop crying," I soothed, but I knew my apology wouldn't be enough.
"You need to stop your bullshit Leonardo! I can't take it, you can't say you don't want him, how can you say that to me, not after what happened with our first child. If you don't want this, tell me now and I'll take Luca and leave, you'll never have to see us again," Leah sobbed. My heart cracked at her words, I didn't want that, that was nowhere near what I wanted but yet Leah and our son deserved so much better.
"I don't want that, I want you Leanne and our son!"
"Then show me you want us, care for us Leo! Don't say things like that, don't break my heart, I won't be able to take it! Please don't say you don't want our baby, you have to want him, he needs you Leo! We both do!" Leah cried, tears streaming down her face.
"I know Bella, I know," I sighed heavily.
I held my small family in my arms protectively, Leah cried into my shoulder and Luca was silent, being held in his mother's arms.
I knew what I needed to do, and I would do it straight away.
"Leah get dressed wear something nice, I'll take care of Luca," I spoke authoritatively.
Leah looked at me and nodded her head, passing Luca to me.
"Where are we going?" She asked, with a sniff.
"To get Luca registered," my answer was simple but important.
Leah nodded her head and turned away. I watched as she walked out of the room, wiping her tears from her face.
Half an hour passed and I was seated on the rocking chair, with Luca in my arms. I had dressed him in light blue trousers and a white shirt, which were slightly too big for him but they were newborn clothes.
I had already dressed earlier in similar clothes to Luca's, I had purposely made us match. I had to make Leah happy and prove to her that I did want Luca and that what I had said meant nothing.
I continued to rock back and forth in silence. Luca was fast asleep in my arms, he probably wasn't comfortable in my arms as he was in Leah's, but it felt right to hold him instead of placing him in his crib.
It seemed like ages until Leah entered the room wearing a simple white dress that hugged her child bearing hips, her legs looked toned and long in her nude heels and I couldn't help but eye her up and down. Leah's hair was sleek and straight and I could tell that she had put more makeup on than usual. In my opinion, she didn't need it but she had just been through labour and probably felt that she looked terrible, when really she didn't.
"You look beautiful," I smiled, making her blush.
"The dress isn't too tight is it? I mean, my stomach isn't poking out, right? I think it's too tight on my bum-"
"Leah stop fussing, it's perfect," I said standing up, with Luca in my arms. I moved closer to my wife, feeling her body pressed against mine.
"I love the fact that it's tight on your arse," I whispered huskily into her ear. I didn't miss the red tinge that covered Leah's face, despite wearing makeup, and I just loved the fact that I could tease and flirt with her to the point that she would still blush and get shy.
Leah cleared her throat and looked up at me
"I should probably feed him before we go." Leah smiled gently, I don't why but when she said that I instantly looked down at her breasts and not at my son.
It has been a while since Leah and I had last been intimate, and I couldn't remember the last time that I had softly caressed her breasts, nor did I remember the last time I ran my tongue over her sensitive buds.
"Stop staring, and give me my baby," Leah laughed, I did as she said and sighed lightly. Placing Luca in Leah's arms, I sneakily attempted to caress Leah's but to my dismay, she moved away from me quickly, almost as if she knew what I was aiming to do.
"Leo no-"
"I just miss you so bloody much," I said heavily, staring deep into Leah's eyes.
"But I'm right here," she replied, confused, as she adjusted Luca's small body in her arms.
"Not like that bella, I miss us together and I know we have to wait until you've healed but I'll tell you now that I can't fucking wait-"
"Language Leo!" Leah scolded but I did miss the beautiful blush that stained her cheeks.
"English or Italian, bella," I smirked, Leah shook her head at me before walking away.
Leah
"There you go my baby, try and burp for mummy," I cooed, as I held Luca to my shoulder, rubbing his back so he could burp.
One thing that Luca and Leo did have in common was that they were both stubborn as hell, and unfortunately, my baby was refusing to release a burp.
"Come on Luca, we need to get going or we won't be able to register you today," I sighed, patting his back. I turned my head down to see Luca's eyes had shut. Whilst I was breast feeding him, he was beginning to fall asleep but I had woken him up and started to feed him again. I sighed heavily and carried on patting Luca's back.
The bedroom door swung open, and Leo entered holding the baby bag filled with spare nappies and all the essential things that we would need whilst being out of the house.
"Are you ready?" Leo asked, looking down at me as I was sat up against the headboard of the bed, with my top of my dress exposing my chest.
"No, he's being stubborn and doesn't want to burp and if he doesn't-"
"He'll vomit, yeah I know Leah," Leo said, placing the bag on the bed and taking Luca from me.
"Let me try."
Sighing heavily, I could feel the lack of sleep weighing me down, and I knew it was something I had to get used to. Fixing my dress, I got off the bed and stood in front of the full-length mirror, behind me I could see Leo holding our baby boy close to his body. It would've seemed shocking to any other person to see Leo holding a small child close to him but to me it was normal and it warmed my heart to see a father and son bond.
I smiled to myself and put on my nude heels again, as I had taken them off just before I fed Luca.
It didn't take us long to get into the car and drive towards the town's civic centre.
I sat in the front passenger seat next to Leo in the Range Rover, as he drove. I was slightly worried about Luca being in the back by himself, however, Leo reassured me that he would be just fine.
As Leo drove, he kept one hand on the steering wheel and his other hand was enclasped with mine. He only let go of my hand whenever he needed to change gear but soon after he would entwine our fingers together again.
"When did you start driving?" I asked, staring up at Leo. He looked down for a split second and smirked, before focusing his eyes back on the road.
"I started learning at around sixteen, which is obviously illegal as in the UK you can start learning after seventeen but I guess I just got bored and didn't know what else to do with myself," he replied.
Leo has been driving for roughly over five years of his life whereas I had started at seventeen and I had only been driving for two years. I wasn't a bad driver but clearly Leo was a lot more skilled and experienced than me.
"Would you let me drive Luca around without you?" I wasn't sure why I asked Leo, I just felt that I needed his approval.
"Why would you even think of going anywhere without me, Leah?" The time in Leo's voice made me realise that I had touched a soft spot. I should've known that he would say something like that but yet I thought the situation would've changed as soon as Luca was born. Nothing had changed, and I doubt that it would in the near future, Leo would always be possessive of me and his child or future children to come.
"Well, what if I needed to go to the store to grab groceries, or Luca runs out of nappies... or we would come and surprise you at work-"
Leo braked harshly, sending my head slamming back against the seat of the car.
Luca whines loudly but didn't start crying thankfully, he was just shocked by the impact.
Leo roughly grabbed my chin and made me look at him. His eyes were stone hard and frown lines had appeared on his forehead.
"Leanne, never and I mean never come to see me at work. It is not a place for you nor our child. Do not go against me on this," Leo warned, making me swallow hard.
I nodded my head and pushed Leo's hand away from my chin.
"Don't grab me like that and don't bloody brake like that either. Stop with this controlling and possessive nature and just carry on driving," I snapped, adjusting my dress that had risen up to my thighs, I looked at the rear mirror and thankfully there was no car behind us.
"Leah-"
"Just stop your shit and drive Leo, or get out of the car so I can. Who the hell do you think you are, braking like a mad man with a baby in the car!" I growled out feeling frustrated and angry.
Leo didn't say anything but I could tell by the way he had clenched his jaw, he was happy with my little outburst.
"I don't like the thought of you being out and alone with our child Leah, Dante is still out ther-"
"And who's fault is that then?" I challenged, crossing my arms over my chest.
"We've been over this," Leo snapped at me, looking down for a split second before focusing his eyes back to the road.
"And I will keep on reiterating the fact that you should have ended him!" I knew what I was suggesting was not normal, but at the end of to think of Luca's safety and the only way I would know if he was truly safe was by seeing Dante's corpse.
We reached the civic centre in no time at all. It wasn't the first time we had been here as, it was also the place where Leo had gotten our marriage certificates for our wedding.
I let myself out of the car, much to Leo's annoyance and opened the boot of the car to get the stroller out.
"Leah let me do that, you'll strain yourself!" Leo snapped, he didn't mean it in a harsh way, it was like he was reminding me that I had only given birth a few days ago and my body wouldn't be used to lifting heavy things, despite the stroller not being too heavy.
I let Leo do all the heavy lifting, and stayed by Luca who was still in the car sat in the car seat.
Once Leo had slotted Luca's car seat into the stroller, he took the baby bag and carried it and decided that he would push Luca around. I stayed by his side as we walked into the building. I had no doubt that we would receive many looks of fear but at the same time Leo and I were just normal people, who wanted normal a life but that was something we would never have.
We reached the open desk and there sat a middle age man, looking bored out of his mind.
I wasn't sure if we were meant to book things such as getting registered but knowing Leo he would make any person submit to his will.
"Good afternoon, sir," I said politely to the man. He looked up and gave me a warm smile but as soon as he saw Leo, that smile vanished.
"M-mr and M-mrs R-russo," he stammered looking shocked and scared at the same time. He didn't know where to look between me and Leo, as I was trying to be friendly whereas Leo just had his usual stone cold expression. I guess that the man wasn't used to seeing Leo in person but yet he was well aware of who we are.
"Che figa," (What a p*ssy)Leo muttered under his breath. I elbowed Leo in his side and sighed heavily.
"This may seem last minute but are we able to register our child?" I asked the man. Leo was definietly not going to take charge and only one of us was capable of talking reasonably without making a person want to shit themself.
The man opened his mouth to say something and whatever he was going to say I just hoped it wasn't anything bad. He couldn't see Luca in the stroller and for all he knew, we could've had a bomb in there. However, he must have known every single detail about Leo and I, especially the fact that I had just had a baby.
"I don't know," the man replied looking away from me.
I sighed heavily, and Leo grunted in annoyance.
Before I could say anything, it was too late Leo had already opened his mouth and the dark and dangerous threats were unleashed.
I tried not to listen, I always hated it whenever Leo threatened innocent people but at the same time it hurt me to know that the man was judging us. He wanted us to leave, he didn't want our baby to be registered and no matter how nice I could be to him, it still didn't change the fact that Leonardo Russo was my husband.
"I'm sorry sir, I sincerely apologise. If you and your wife and child would please follow me, we can proceed with the registering," The man hurriedly said and before I could blink he was out of his seat, gesturing for us to follow him.
I sighed again heavily, nothing would ever come simply, everything would always be a struggle.
"We're naming him Lucan Leonardo Stephen Russo," Leo said in a hard voice, I didn't dare challenge him on that despite not having a discussion about it.
"Okay," I whispered and followed behind Leo as we proceeded to get our baby registered.
***
I sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard as Luca suckled hungrily at my breast. I could feel sleep weighing me down and I tried my best to keep my eyes open. Whenever I breastfed, I always seemed to struggle with staying awake and just like Luca I often fell asleep too.
I stared at the wall ahead of me, the same wall that I had once hurled a phone at causing it to break into so many pieces. The same wall that I used to stare at for hours on end, when Leo was in a coma after getting shot in multiple places.
I didn't like to think about that part of my life, the earliest stage of pregnancy, before Leo and I had finally gotten married. I never had to once question myself why I was so in love with a beautiful monster, who had treated me both badly and lovingly. The same man who had given me a child, despite our first one being taken from us.
Breastfeeding did warm my heart, it made me happy to know that I had someone who needed and depended on me, but at the same time, it did cause me to overthink.
The bedroom door opened and Leo walked in, bare-chested with a pair of pyjama shorts hanging low on his waist. Leo had gone out for his nightly cigarette before he went to sleep, I wish I could say that I had gotten used to his smoking but in reality, I hadn't.
Luca pulled away and I looked down to pull my top up and lift him up to my chest. I rocked slowly side to side, massaging his back so he could burp, and thankfully he gave me one.
"Good boy," I praised, leaning my head against his small one and pressing a kiss to the side of his head.
I lowered him down into my arms, not feeling ready to put him down in his baby basket. At the same time, Leo slid into bed, sitting up against the headboard.
Straight after registering Luca, we came home and fell into a routine of me cooking dinner whilst Leo worked from home. It took me longer than usual to cook a simple pasta dish, as I had to feed Luca, change his nappy, endure his crying for attention. Leo didn't bother to help me at all, he just locked himself in his office and didn't come out until he smelt that the food was ready.
We ate in silence, not uttering a single word. I didn't even get to eat all my food, as I held Luca while I ate and my appetite had just vanished.
The rest of the hours rolled on and I had just spent the rest of my evening alone with Luca, feeding him, changing him over and over again. I was physically and mentally drained.
"Put him down, you need to sleep," Leo said, his tone soft but at the same time he wasn't asking, he was ordering.
"I want to hold him, he feels safe in my arms-"
"Is that why you practically distanced yourself upstairs, because he's safe with you and not me?" Leo scoffed.
I rolled my eyes at his words and at his attempt to pick a fight with me. I turned my head to glare at Leo, his face was stiff, showing no emotion.
"You distanced yourself from us, locking yourself in your office, running away from your responsibility to our son! I've said it before and I'll say it again if you don't want us, tell me and I'll leave with him-"
"Just stop your shit Leanne! Clearly, you're angry about me deciding his name-"
"That's not the problem you idiot! I love his name, it represents both light and strength! It represents you but it shouldn't because you clearly don't want him!" I couldn't hold Luca, whilst being in an arguement with Leo, I slipped out of bed ignoring the pain I was in and placed him in his basket. Thankfully my sweet baby was fast asleep.
"Either you sleep in another room or I will," I told Leo, knowing that he would rather get eaten by lions than sleep away from me.
"Just get in the bed Leah," Leo said, folding his arms across his chest.
I stood still, unmoving and ignoring the pain in my lower back.
Leo's jaw clenched, he was debating whether to pick me up and place me in the bed or sweet talk me.
"Leah please, just get in the bed, We've both had a long day-"
"Oh please Leo, don't use excuses. I'll get in the bed if you change your ways-"
"We've already had this conversation, I won't change Leah!"
Like always it was three steps forward and two steps back.
I didn't realise that I was crying until Leo got out of the bed and stood in front of me, He wiped the tears that streamed down my face and embraced me tightly. I couldn't help it, I just melted in his embrace. I breathed in the familiar smell of Leo's cologne mixed with the smell of tobacco. Leo was my home and no matter how many times I could tell him that I would leave, I could never bring myself to do it.
"I'm sorry bella, I can't help it. I'm stressed as hell, I constantly worried about your safety-"
"Just forget it Leo," I sighed heavily, pushing him away from me. I tried to hide hour tired I was but I couldn't any longer, I needed sleep. All the pointless arguing was too much for me.
"Leah-"
"Can we just talk about it tomorrow, I dont have any energy," I mumbled, slipping under the covers.
I heard Leo let out a string of curse words and a huge sigh before he too got in the bed and cuddled up next to me.
Despite everything that had happened, I allowed him to hold me in his protective arms because I knew that all the bickering and arguring was a way of Leo saying that he was worried. He knew something that I didn't know, and I just had to find out.
***
Please don't hate me!!
I know it's been super long since I last updated but life has been hectic cause of school and exams. I know I said I would update on the 18th but I've had just chapter written for a while and it's Saturday so I just felt like updating!
So there's trouble in paradise for Leo and Leah!
Please let me know what you would like to see in the upcoming chapters, I'm not sure how many chpaters are left of this story, I'm just torn between finishing the story soon or having more developed chapters, showing Leah and Leo as parents to Lucan. What I am essentially saying is, would you prefer more baby chapters of Lucan or should I just skip to not the end but like to Lucan nearly being a year old, if that makes any sense.
Please VOTE and COMMENT -lets see if we can get at least 10 votes and 15 comments??
I will try and update soon, my last exam is the 18th so I would probably just spend time after my last exam writing the new chpater so I can update ASAP
Thank you for reading
Dhana xo