What the fuck is happening?
I'm still in shock from Dark's sudden gesture. Why the fuck would he do that? What the fuck?
The spot on my forehead remains cold, phantom lips lingering on my skin. I shudder, but my stomach also knots and twists. My mind understands what he's doing, how he's manipulating me, but my feelings are at war. On the one hand, he's affecting me with ease, using his charm and attraction to get me to trust him. On the other, my body is revolted by the thought of him being so near to me.
This causes the shivers of fear and fervor, the sickness of desire and dread, the dizziness of anxiety and anticipation.
Another shudder wracks my body, and I curl into a ball with my hands over my knees. This is one of my thinking positions – blocking everything outside so I can focus on everything inside. I frown.
What am I supposed to do? Dark's done a swell job of making sure that the only major emotions I have towards him are fear and affection, so I have to surrender to one. If I choose fear, he'll have too much power over me. After all – fear is the second most powerful motivator. However, affection is the most powerful, but it isn't as severe and he's less likely to physically harm me.
My mind desperately searches for an answer. As I focus less on what's happening outside of my mind, the tingling cool on my forehead wanes, but I hardly notice. Eventually, I give my mind a break and stand up, stretching. I loosen my stiffened limbs, then get myself a snack. An apple will do, for now. I need to eat healthy if I want my mind to be in peak condition for dealing with this demon. It's a tragedy, but junk food will just have to wait.
After an hour of doing nothing but pacing and thinking, I grab my keys and phone in frustration, storming out of my house.
Outside, there's a cool breeze, making it much more comfortable. The sun warms my skin. I'm wearing a simple steel-colored t-shirt and dark jeans. Once out of the house, I turn right towards the shopping block. There're clothing stores, jewelers, restaurants, cafes... frozen yogurt. In between a Gap and some hipster shoe shop, there's a pastel building full of cool air and "a thousand" (thirteen) flavors. I quickly walk inside, filling a small paper cup with fro-yo, adding about three toppings, and paying.
I'm unsure of whether frozen yogurt helps me think or not, but it sure makes me feel a hell of a lot better. I find an empty table with two chairs on either side, sitting in one and propping my feet up on the other. Sinking into the metal seat and closing my eyes, I'm able to relax like I've wanted to for days.
The shop's bell rings, and some guy walks in. I don't pay him any attention until he moves over to my table. I open my eyes, glancing over him. My heart jumps into my throat for an instant, but I calm myself, sitting up slowly.
"Hey, [Y/N]. How've you been over break, so far?" Martino asks. He's been my crush for the past two years, but we've been decent friends, so I didn't want to make things awkward by mentioning it.
Swallowing my feelings, I respond coolly: "'Sup, Martino? I've been pretty good – a little bored, actually. School's out, at least. What about you?"
He shrugs, making a face that always makes me smile. "I've been the same I guess. My brothers keep me fairly entertained." Martino has two older brothers, both tease him occasionally. I laugh.
"Siblings – can't say I want them," I joke. He laughs with me.
"Believe me, you shouldn't." Martino motions to the chair I had my feet on before. "Is this seat taken?" I shake my head. "I'm gonna get some yogurt and I'll be right back."
Martino walks off and grabs his frozen yogurt, then sits in the chair in front of me. Long after we've finished our cups of the cool treat, we're still talking and laughing. The manager doesn't mind because we're not causing any trouble. An hour or so later, I realize the time.
"We've been here a while. I should probably go," I stand, grabbing our cups and tossing them. "It was nice to–"
"Do you wanna just walk around for a bit?" Martino offers. "We haven't been able to talk to each other since school let out. If you don't, it's fine."
A scream is let out in my chest. It's my heart freaking out.
"Sure, we can walk around for a bit. I just have to be home by the time it gets dark," I say, happily accepting his offer. He grins and opens the door for me. We walk around the stores for even longer than we were in the frozen yogurt place, but we don't buy anything for a while. Only when we enter a small store and get to the front desk does Martino pull something off of a shelf.
"Head on outside," he says. "I'll be right out."
Though confused, I nod and wait outside the store. My mind wanders, but doesn't focus on any one thing in particular. I'm happy to be here with Martino, but I'm not like most people who have crushes like this. I have the ability to suppress my feelings so that I hardly feel them at all. I've chosen to have a crush on him because I spend time with him anyway, he's got a great personality, and he's attractive. I smirk at the idea that I can stop these emotions at any time–
"Alright, I'm here," Martino beams as he walks out. He hands a small box to me. "I know you don't really like really flashy stuff, but I thought that you might like this." Inside of the box is a silken [F/C] bowtie. My stomach does a somersault at his thoughtfulness.
"Woah... Thanks, Martino. You really didn't have to, I–"
"Oh, please. I wanted to, you don't have to do anything in return," he interrupts. I smile, then notice how dark it's getting.
"I should probably head home, but it was great getting to talk to you again," I tell him.
"Alright, I'll see you," he returns as he opens his arms for a hug. I accept, giving him a hug and another 'thanks'. The instant before I pull away, he plants a small peck on my forehead. Then, he begins to walk away, waving back to me as he does.
I wave to him with a gigantic smile. As he walks out of sight, my smile instantly drops. I turn to go home, shoving my hands and bowtie in my pockets and frowning in thought. I reach a hand up and touch the place where two pairs of lips have met my face today: one icy and toxic, the other warm and gentle.
Thank god this isn't some kind of love triangle, I think to myself. At least I already know who actually cares about me.
I finally reach my house as the sun is setting. I'm inside and in pajamas before it gets completely dark. I sit on the couch with my phone, scrolling through app after app in an attempt to find something to do. Eventually, I find my mind struggling over the same topic as before: How do I get Dark to leave me alone?
If I knew what he wants, I groan, I could just give it to him and he could be on his merry way. I'm laying on the couch upside-down, so that the top of my head rests on the floor and my legs are slung over the top of the couch. This is my other thinking position. I close my eyes. Unfortunately, he's never gonna tell me because... reasons. I guess affection would be the best one to surrender to, since I can control those emotions fairly well.
A cold flow of air hits my face, cultivating goosebumps along my arms. Opening my eyes, I find myself staring at a sleek pair of pitch black dress shoes and the crisp fossil-colored hems of dress pants. My eyes pan upwards until I meet the charcoal eyes of a tall man looking down at me.
"'Sup?"
Dark takes a step back, then crouches. I keep looking up at him, waiting for him to do something weird. I'm already in a vulnerable position, as is. I don't need him to make things worse.
"Where did you go this evening?" he asks with a stony expression and searching eyes.
"You probably already know this, I don't know why you're asking, but I went to the shopping block nearby," I answer, wondering why he's asking me.
"And?"
"And what? I hung out with a friend of mine? He was there, we walked around together for a bit after getting frozen yogurt," I continue.
Dark lets out a quiet sigh, then asks a more specific question: "Who was he? Why did he kiss you?" I roll my eyes, crossing my arms.
"He's my friend, like I said–"
"I'm fairly certain that friends don't–"
"You kissed me and we're less than friends, so be quiet," I snap. Dark reluctantly quiets, more interested in my answer than in arguing with me. "I don't know why he kissed me. He probably likes me."
"Do you like him?"
"What are you – my mom? Sure, I like him. Well, I let myself like him," I scowl, worried for Martino.
"Did you enjoy the kiss?"
"Why do you care about this guy so much? I get that you're pretending to care about me, but this is excessive," I say shrinking from his intensity.
"Just–!" I flinch as it seems as though Dark's being glitches in and out of existence, like a shell or facade was breaking. He quickly calms himself (just barely), gripping the seat of the couch on either side of me as a deadly smile crept onto his face. I begin to feel sick.
"Just answer the question, [Y/N]," Dark seethes. I tremble at his proximity and fury, never being this close to him while he's angry, much less ever seeing him this angry.
"I d-don't really know. I didn't allow m-myself to process my emotions at the time and now I've sh-shoved them to the side," I stutter, forfeiting any attempt to hide my fear. A low growl rumbles forth from his throat as his smile turns into a grimace.
I quickly add, "I was kind of indifferent. It didn't take my attention for too long."
"So it wasn't important enough for you to focus on," Dark concludes, slightly calmer. He continues to stare at me with those icy eyes. I wonder what's going through his head, but don't dare ask.
Finally blinking, he rises. "Fair enough." I quickly sit up, ignoring the headache I receive from the blood rushing from my head.
"However," Dark adds, increasing my anxiety yet again, "I don't want you with him."
I swallow my words of protest, but he answers my thoughts. Dark places a hand under my chin gently, and leans close to me so I can see the hatred and anger in his eyes. The quantity of contempt I find for someone who he doesn't even know is staggering.
"You already know what I'm trying to do, and it's obvious that he'll only get in the way. I can't have this Martino–" he says with loathing, his hold on my chin turning into one wrapping around my neck "–interfering with my plans for you, now can I?"
He's not cutting off my breathing, but the grip is firm and threatening. I remain quiet, deciding to just do what he says. I don't even want to know what would happen to Martino or I if I disobeyed.
Dark grins at my obedience. "Good. Now, to prove that you've learned," he says, eyes almost glowing with ill-intent, "I want you to kiss me."
I freeze at this. "What?" escapes my previously silenced lips.
"A kiss. It shouldn't be that difficult, [Y/N]." I shudder, but it's caused by more enmity than shameful eagerness. "What? You refuse to prove yourself? If so then I'll–"
I quickly shake my head. "I-I'll... do it."
Dark places a gentle hand on the side of my face, and I squeeze my eyes shut as he slowly leans forward. Suddenly, he quickly pulls me forward smirking as our lips meet. Dark's lips feel even colder than they did against my forehead. My stomach flips more than it ever did with Martino, maybe because I'm not in control of these emotions. It's difficult to not automatically pull away, but the kiss goes on for far too long. I try to gently pull away, but Dark holds my head in place. I begin to panic, pushing against his chest with all the strength I could muster. His arms don't budge.
In desperation, I bite his lip with mild force. Dark hisses and pulls away, and I realize that I drew blood. I can feel a cold liquid trickle out of the corner of my mouth, and I see a thicker line drip down the side of Dark's. It's nearly black, and tastes... The taste is something I've never experienced before. It's like death and emptiness and pure darkness. The scent fills my nostrils, and I begin to gag at both sensations: the taste and smell. Dark puts a hand up to his mouth to wipe away the blood and swears at me. I'm too busy trying not to vomit to listen.
I begin to rush to the bathroom to rinse my mouth, but Dark grabs my bicep with an iron grip. I turn to him fearfully, immediately regretting what I'd done. I didn't mean to bite that hard, I just wanted to get him off of me. I'm forced to swallow the blood in my mouth – a truly revolting feeling.
Dark's eyes are shiny and black, just like any other time he's angry. However, the world around me grays and it looks like reality itself is buffering. His hand will definitely bruise my arm, but I have no time to worry about that as he tugs me toward him and places his opposite hand at my throat. Slowly, he raises me off of the ground.
"What makes you think I'll let you get away with that?"
I hope you enjoyed this chapter of "I'm Here to Help You" as much as I enjoyed writing it. Comments and votes are super appreciated. Thanks for reading! ~Blue