Bite.
Every bite I took on my taco, there was a brief moment filled with many strong flavors. Most came from the ground beef, but there were also the crunchiness of the fresh lettuce and earthy taste of the cheese. They were spreading all over my tongue like a wildfire, but they all faded away before I got the chance to savor them. I decided to bite more, trying to enhance the seasoning.
"You said you're full but you eat like a fucking pig. Well done, dude." Asher snorted as he swallowed the first bite of his food. At the same time, he steered his car to the right. "If you're really starving, I could have bought you a bunch of tacos."
"One is enough." I muffled as I chewed my food, as I looked through the window. I stared at some random people that were walking to their respective places. Mostly they were in groups of two, although I saw some alone or with a larger group. I breathed heavily, before nibbling again on the tortilla.
"Dude, you gotta learn how to lie, because nobody ain't falling for that." Asher let out a loud sigh, as he diverted his attention from the road towards me. "You really should eat more than that."
"What are you, my father?" I found myself giving Asher an incredulous look. Simultaneously, I mentally clamped my hand against my face.
"Just a friend worrying about your well-being."
It just felt weird seeing someone who used to despise my guts now considered me as his friend. I probably thought about it so many times, but I couldn't help it.
"Instead of worrying about me, how about worrying about yourself instead?"
As if on cue, a BMW suddenly appeared from around the corner and was about to cut through our way as to get to the other side. It all happened too fast, but from what I remembered, Asher abruptly pushed on the brake. As a result, my body hurled towards the front, losing all my balance. I instinctively groaned at the sudden change of momentum, but fortunately, the seatbelt held me down from being thrown too far. When I regained my awareness, Asher punched on the steering wheel, inducing the most loudest honk that made my heart drop.
"Holy shit!" He exclaimed, holding his breath and cursing. "The fuck's that car doing?!"
I didn't answer him, instead I observed the driver. I couldn't see his face clearly, but judging from its postures and physique, I assumed that it was someone within our age range. He was holding something, probably his phone, which was the reason why he didn't see us coming. Asher only shook his head in disapproval as we watched the car took off without a word, as if nothing happened.
"That was so fucking close! Thank God, I wasn't speeding up, or else we might have been dead by now." Asher exhaled profusely. "This is why you should never play your phone while you drive, dammit!"
While my orange-haired friend continued complaining, I remained silent as I finished the remains of the taco. After all, this situation was pretty much mundane and always happened within the community. I had normally heard loud honks, followed by an angry stream of words from the drivers in Downtown.
"You okay?" I decided to ask out.
"Yeah, yeah I am. Almost lost my taco, but it's fine!" He said between his chuckles. "Geez, if not for you reminding me, I wouldn't have seen the car coming!"
"That's why." I muttered under my breath, before I disposed the wrappers on the small trash can.
The rest of the ride consisted of me directing Asher towards my home, to which he had no idea where. When we arrived at my home district, Asher was still halfway on finishing his food. After the near-crash incident, he kept his eyes on the road; nothing seemed to distracy him. He didn't pay much attention on finishing the taco.
"Wow, your house is as twice as huge as mine. Not that I'm surprised, though, especially the fact that you lived in this area." He remarked as he slowly observed the house I had showed him. Stopping in the driveway, I instantly unplugged my seatbelt and opened the door to step out. Asher also got out, however he only leaned against his door as I trod towards the entrance.
"Thanks for the ride, Ash." I quickly remembered about the need to thank him. Before I unlocked the gates, I glanced over my shoulders to see him.
"Not a problem, man." While crossing his arms, a wide smile spread across his face. He then returned back to his car, and proceeded to open the window to speak out something. "Well, I gotta go now. If I'm late, my chick's gonna kill me."
My chick? I blinked, but after a certain amount of processing time, I started to know what he meant. From his frequent Facebook posts he had with his crush, he must have asked her out at some point and succeeded. They were currently dating, and from the comments, many of his friends I didn't know congratulated him, one of them being Seb.
"Okay." I nodded, before he raised his hand at me as a sign of farewell. He eventually closed the window while his car slowly departed from the driveway. Even from the distance, I could still hear the distant sound of his revving car.
I let out a profound breath. I didn't put much thought about it and gradually went inside. Obviously, I was greeted by none other than the mischievous, barking Myla. She was always the first one to welcome me back, probably because she had smelt me from afar. Like usual, her tail beat from side to side as she hopped all over me. I tried to grab her, but then she took off running, deeper into the house.
I sighed, before pursuing after the dog. When I arrived at the living room, I expected Lu or Katherine to be hanging out around here, or for Mother to pop up from her room or the kitchen. However, I sensed none of their presence. I skimmed around, and simultaneously peered at my own reflection on the mirror.
"Mom?" I called out, then waited for an answer, but no response was given. Where did she... go?
I slowly moved through the dining room, then to the kitchen, where I heard a faint creaking noise. Taking a peek on the kitchen, I noticed that the fridge was open, and someone was ransacking through its contents. What the fuck... who's that?
The person was humming a song, and based on it, I immediately assumed that it was a girl. Swallowing my saliva and gaining some courage, I snuck closer, feeling something clung tight against my ribs. Despite my soaring heartbeats, I tried to act calm as possible as I approached the oblivious girl. Suddenly, she drew itself away from the fridge, and in reflex, I stepped backward, and a yelp almost went loose from my lips.
When she noticed I had been there the whole time, she was thrown aback as well. She almost lost her grip on the chocolate milk and her bowl of cereal. Her fiery, red hair was revealed, but it was tangled and dishevelled. She didn't bother fixing them or the strands that was standing up. Despite everything, I recognized her instantly, much to my relief.
"Fuck, Jesus Christ, Ed!" She screamed. "You scared the living shit out of me!"
"I should be the one saying that." I narrowed my eye at her. "What the hell are you doing in the kitchen, and where's Mother?"
"Hmm... I wonder... what am I doing in the kitchen for...?" I totally had no idea, man." Lu asked in a mocking manner, shaking her head as she shut the fridge with her leg. The sarcasm on her voice can be compared to an excess grease dripping out of some food. I was completely immune to Lu's witty attitude, so I simply shrugged it off.
"To answer your question from earlier, Mother's going out with her friends, so she won't be here till evening." Lu placed the bowl on the counter, before she opened the carton and poured the milk into it. She then took a small spoon from the drawer. "Don't worry, though, Kat and I will be here if you need anything."
"Where's Katherine?"
"Still snoring her ass off, probably." Lu rolled her eyes and groaned. "She's the one who woke all of us up yesterday, now she's the one who's still asleep."
"That's Katherine for you." I muttered, with a shrug of my shoulders. Lu then headed for the dining room and I followed, but not before I took a glass. She set down on the table, and began to eat on her newly made cereal. I was taking water from the dispenser as I listened to the noises her teeth made as she crunched her cereal.
"Heard that you were out early in the morning." Lu initiated after she swallowed her first bite. "You sure must be that willing to go somewhere at that time."
"I'm just visiting my friend's grave." I answered, before I sipped my cold water. At my reply, Lu glanced up from her cereal, raising her eyebrow. I immediately knew what she was going to ask next, so I decided to intervene before she managed to speak. "Well, even if I had visited last week, I kinda had the urge to."
"I understand." Lu scooped another spoon of cereal as she merely acknowledged at my answer. She firstly observed every milk that dripped from her spoon, before placing it right on her mouth. As she enjoyed her breakfast, I decided to return to my room, and lay on the bed in peace, but before my first step, something glinted in the corner of my eye.
There beside Lu, rested a pair of scissors, which was left wide open. It seemed that it was used by her to cut something up, but she had forgotten to put it back to its spot. I kept silent as my arm reached out to take the sharp tool away.
Wait.
Before my fingers could touch it, something flashed in the back of my head. I didn't know what the fuck just slipped through my head. From what I remembered, it was all white and foggy, so it was too difficult for me to comprehend. I tried not to bother too much and carefully closed the razors, as not to accidentally injure myself.
It's just my... imagination...
As soon as its snipping sound was heard, something abruptly came flowing into my vision, causing me to stop with whatever I was doing. I immediately recoiled my hand away from the scissors, and that was when it all happened: it was the flashbacks haunting me again. From the incident that day, to where... the grin he showed me as he held his scissors up in the air, ready to tear my eye away.
No... it couldn't be... Akh... ugh... The throbbing pain quickly struck against my brain, as if thousands of thin needles stabbed through it. The excruciating pain as the scissors went through my skull returned back as well, which made everything worser. I have to get it away... I have to get rid of it...
I clenched my head tightly, but looking back at the scissors, I hyperventilated further, to the point that I had to use my mouth to breathe. More memories of my dreams came back, until I heard something snapping inside of me. It drove me to raise my hand up and knock the scissors away. There was a a soft thud, but I had no idea where did it land, but I didn't give a fucking shit.
Lu stared at me in awe, as her mouth dangled open. Before she could do anything, I immediately backed away. She called for me, but I was too focused on retreating back upstairs and back to my room. She didn't give a chase, though, which was a relief for me. I have to be somewhere alone where I could calm myself down...
Once I shut the door behind me, I slid down to the floor. I gasped as hard as I could, trying to gain as much oxygen as possible. I found myself pulling on my hair, and I felt some sort of liquid trickling out of my mouth. If it weren't for my bones and skin, my heart would have jumped off my chest, but they hurt so much. My vision blurred for a moment, and all I could see was vague white dots.
He's not here, Ed... I tried calming myself down, especially my breaths that sounded like I had an asthma. He's not here... He couldn't and shouldn't be here...
It's fine... you're safe... he's not going to find you here... Nothing's going to happen... I struggled standing up, before staggering towards my bed. Once near, I plopped on the mattress, with one of my hand still on my face. All this shit keeps fucking me... It drives me insane...
I inhaled and exhaled, stopping myself from hyperventilating further. I clamped my mouth, as the overwhelming feeling of nausea struck against me. Breathe...
"Ed?" There was a knock on the door. The sound of Lu's worried tone quickly drew my attention. I noticed the knob turned over before it gently swung open, revealing my nervous sister.
"What?" I dared myself to look at her, who zoomed her brown eye at me.
"...Father's right, you really need go to the therapist. There's no more choice, and you just can't leave it untreated." Lu walked towards me, then placed her hand on my shoulder. I felt myself jumping at her touch. "If you're like this the whole time, you're definitely not going to recover."
"No, Lu, it's just that the scissors reminded me of something I don't want to remember." I quickly pushed her hand away. "Nothing is wrong with that."
"Yeah, nothing's definitely wrong with that." Again, Lu used her sarcastic tone as a way to counter my statement. "Your face looks like as if someone is after you and is going to kill you."
What's going on with her...? I thought as I moved further the bed. Why is she... acting so differently?
"The memory shocked me, that's why." I stumbled upon my words, while lowering my head.
"Stop covering up everything, Ed." Lu's placid, playful tone had completely disappeared. She gazed at me sullenly, as she placed her arms on her hips. "I know what's going on, and I know there's more something than your so-called excuses. You wanted those hallucinations and memories to stop haunting you, right? Then, I think therapist is the only way."
"... You should have known and understand, Lu. I'm not going anywhere and I'm staying here." That was the reply that exited through my mouth. This is just a minor episode... there's no problem in there.
"... well... if you can handle everything by yourself, then do whatever you like. I'm just suggesting." Lu sighed loudly, which was the least of my expectations. I quickly looked up, surprised by what she was thinking. I thought she was going to force me, but no, she didn't. "It's up to you, Ed. You have your own rights."
She then walked back towards the door and closed it slowly behind her, as a click sounded. When I heard her disappearing footsteps on the hallway, I clenched my hands and stared hard at the floor.
Maybe, Lu had given up on me, just like Father. Even if it was a good thing, an uneasy feeling gripped against my chest, and I couldn't shrug it off that easy. I felt as if I had done something unsatisfactory, even though I should be satisfied.
Why...?
Why am I feeling this...?
***
A/N: So much apology for the delay! I'm really busy due to school stuff, and I also kinda had a bit of a writer's block. However, don't worry! The new chapter next week will be lenghty as usual :)
For now, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to vote, comment and leave your thoughts.
Question
1. Ed seems to be severely stubborn about his condition. What do you think makes him so stubborn?
Catch you all next week!
- Tara