Hailey's POV
I was doing it.
I was holding back, and I knew it. I was putting up walls to protect myself and keeping Harry at a distance, and I knew he was starting to notice.
My mind had been constantly circling with images of him leaving, going back to his life and leaving me behind once again, that familiar uncertainty hanging over me and telling me I needed to be careful. I obviously knew that things had changed between us, and he'd been making a conscious effort to be more open with me and try to shift us into a new phase in our relationship, but I couldn't help but wonder if we'd just end up in the same place we had before.
It had been two days since our first official date, and things had been so amazing that I couldn't help but feel like the bottom could fall out at any moment. I was terrified to let myself think that things might stay that way, because when it came to Harry and I things never seemed to be that simple.
We were laying in his bed, staring out at the snow covered trees through the window, as a comfortable silence hovered around us. The slow and rhythmic beating of Harry's heart was softly thudding in his chest as I rested my head over it, and his fingertips gently ran up and down the skin of my shoulder as we enjoyed the last few hours of alone time before his family arrived and all of the Christmas festivities kicked off.
"I love you." Harry said softly as he leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
"I love you, too." I smiled up at him, the dimple appearing in his cheek.
He took my hand and laced his fingers between mine, absentmindedly playing with my fingers in his as I watched them rest in front of me on his chest, before I heard him let out a soft sigh and shift his eyes to look at me again.
I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth as he looked at me, and I could tell he knew something was on my mind, so I quickly shifted my gaze back over to our interlocked fingers and braced myself for the conversation I knew we had to have. A few seconds later, he reached down and lifted my chin to look at him with his other hand.
"Look at me." He said softly as I slowly shifted my eyes to meet his, suddenly feeling my stomach clench with anxiety. "What is it?"
I took a few seconds to gather myself, closing my eyes and taking a few small breaths, before I looked back up at him to see the concern in his eyes.
"When do you have to go back to LA?" I asked.
I watched as realization crossed his features, before they softened and a small smile tugged at his lips.
"I don't." He said simply. "I mean, I do technically live there...but I've got nothing going on that I need to be there for, not in the foreseeable future anyway. I'm right where I wanna be."
His answer gave me some relief, but still didn't eliminate my worry that the day would come where he would leave, and I didn't know what that would mean. He clearly knew I was worrying about it, because he reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear, looking at me with worry as I did my best to hide it from him. I should have known he knew me too well to pull it off.
"Hails, talk to me." He said. "What's on your mind?"
"Nothing." I said quickly, but he just continued to look down at me until I just gave up and sighed in defeat. "I just...I guess I'm scared."
"Why are you scared?"
"I don't know, I...I guess it just feels like we're us again, and I don't know if it's just while you're here or if it's something else." I said, feeling my eyes get glossy before I closed them and pushed the tears back. "I guess I'm scared you're just gonna leave and I'll lose you all over again. That maybe I shouldn't let myself get too attached."
He looked down at me, vulnerable and silently pleading for reassurance, and he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to my forehead.
"I'm not going anywhere, Bear." He said softly. "I let you go once, I'm not stupid enough to do it again."
I could hear the determination in his voice, and I believed him. I just didn't know how much control either of us would have over it. In a way, it felt like in our bubble everything was always great, but the second it came time for us to have to live in the real world we just crumbled like a house of cards.
"But what about when you eventually have to leave? What does this all mean?" I asked, nervously chewing on my lip as I looked up at him reluctantly.
"It means that I love you, that I want us to spend the rest of our lives waking up together just like this, that even when we're apart that you'll know that I am committed to you and you're the only one I want. I want us to do life together, whatever that looks like for either of us. I wanna be yours, I want you to be mine, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep you happy."
A smile threatened to make its way onto my face at his words, but I knew I had to hold back letting myself be completely happy until I knew exactly where we stood. I needed to know exactly what to expect, exactly what we were, and if I needed to prepare myself for him leaving again.
"But what about your career and everything?" I asked, the smile tugging at my lips as I did my best to keep back until I was sure it was okay to be happy.
"Whatever comes, we'll figure it out." He sighed as he looked back down at his hand in mine. "Every decision I make from here on out will be with us in mind, you are my first priority. I have a lot more control now, I've slowed things down, and as of this moment I have absolutely nothing planned except to stay here with you as long as you'll have me."
"Are you sure?" I asked, my tone still laced with worry. "I mean, I don't want you to give anything up. I don't need you to stay here forever I just...I guess I just wanna know that even if we're apart we're still together."
I sat up as Harry shifted beneath me, sitting up and taking his hands in mine as he moved to sit in front of me. A soft smile fell across his plump pink lips as he gazed down at me, running his fingers along my cheek as he spoke.
"Hails, you're what I want. You're everything to me, and I'm not gonna let anything happen that's gonna keep us apart again. I'm not leaving you, and if I have to go out of town for a while I want you to know that I am committed to you. I want us to be together, through whatever comes at us. I want you to live your dreams and go off on all the adventures you want, and when you get back I'll be here waiting to see all the pictures and hear all your stories. We can do this, I know we can. We can find that balance, and I don't want you to feel scared that I'm just gonna bail on you when my career comes calling, or that you have to hold yourself back from doing what you want in order for us to work."
"But I don't want you to feel like you have to stay here because of me, or that you can't make more music or do what you want either." I explained.
"I know that, babe." He smiled. "I think that's what makes us so good together, neither one of us wanna hold the other back. I know that if I go to LA you're not gonna think it's because I don't love you, and you know if you decide to go off on some adventure I'll be excited for you. Then one day when we're both all adventured out we can settle down wherever you want and make some incredibly good looking babies."
I couldn't stop the grin that took over my entire face, the thought of Harry and I really making it work, of one day having little ones running around with curly brown hair and dimples. The thought alone made my heart feel so full it could burst.
"You really see that for us one day?" I smiled.
"Of course I do, Bear. You're the only woman I've ever loved, the only one I've ever seen a future with." He said as he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my fingers. "So please, stop worrying. I'm yours, I always have been. I'm not letting you go, I promise."
"I'm not letting you go either." I smiled as I leaned up and pressed my lips to his.
I cuddled into him as he rested his back against the headboard, just enjoying the feeling of him next to me when a thought popped into my mind that I wanted to tell him.
"Remember when I told you about how I went up to my spot after my dad died? How I'd sat there until I found a way to think about it that made me feel like I could live with it? When I found the reason, when I realized he was in pain and his passing allowed him to be at peace, that's when I knew I could come home?" I asked as I looked up at him.
"Yeah...?" He said, his brows pulled together as he wondered where I was going with it.
"When I was sitting out there thinking about Gram, I couldn't find it. I couldn't find the reason, I couldn't find that thing that made me feel like I could justify it to myself, and no matter how long I sat there it just didn't come to me." I explained.
"I'm sorry, baby." He said softly as he gently brushed the hair off my face.
"Don't be." I smiled. "I couldn't find it the whole time I sat there by myself, and then you showed up. You sat there with me, and I still hadn't found it. But then you asked me if I wanted to go home, and I turned and looked at you...I looked at you for the first time in so long, and then I looked back out at that view, and it came to me. I finally knew what the reason was, why she had to go when she did. It was you."
He just looked at me, confused, and I brought my hand up to the side of his face and gently rubbed his cheek with my thumb.
"I couldn't figure out why now, why out of all the times in my life she had to go when it felt like I needed her the most. I was so upset that you hadn't called, I thought I'd lost you for good." I said, swallowing hard at the memory of those feelings and how difficult it had been. "And then she was gone...and I felt more lost and more alone than I'd ever been in my life. But then...there you were, you came back to me, and I can only believe that Gram passed away when she did so that it would bring us back together."
He watched me carefully, knowing it was difficult for me to talk about her, as he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand before leaning in to kiss my forehead.
"She wanted us to be together more than anything, she believed we were meant to be together." I sniffled, my emotions overcoming me at the thought of her. "If she hadn't gone when she did...you wouldn't be here, you would still think I was with Matt, we may have never found our way back to each other."
"Oh, Bear." He sighed as he pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly to his chest as I sniffled. "I'm so sorry you had to lose her. She loved you so much."
"I miss her." I cried. "But I found the reason I needed."
He pressed a lingering kiss to the top of my head before he pulled away and looked at me.
"I'm sorry it had to come to that for me to pull my head out of my ass." He sighed. "I should have just asked you about Matt, I should have called. There's a million things I should have done differently, but all that matters now is that I'm here with you. In a way, it feels nice to know that Gram would be happy about it. I bet she's looking down on us and telling us it's about time."
We both laughed lightly at the image, knowing it was probably true.
"Knowing her, she probably did it on purpose to prove her point." I laughed with a light sniffle.
"I wouldn't put it past her." Harry smiled.
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, letting them linger as I soaked up the feeling of him there with me again, before he pulled away and wrapped his arms around me.
"I'm here, babe. I'm not going anywhere." He reassured me one final time.
"Me neither." I sighed as I cuddled into him.
*******
Harry's POV
I was standing in my kitchen pouring myself another drink when I felt a pair of arms snake themselves around my waist and a smile crossed my face.
"Guess who?" Hails smiled as I turned around to face her, leaning down to kiss her as she smiled up at me. "I just thought I'd come check on you after the big news."
"Yeah..." I laughed lightly as I sighed. "That uh...that was only half a surprise."
She smirked up at me, knowing me too well to know that as happy as I was for Niall and my sister, it was still a little weird for me. I'd known he was going to propose, he'd asked my permission beforehand, but what I wasn't expecting was for them to announce that they were also expecting a baby next summer.
"Which part?" Hails asked.
"I knew he was gonna ask her to marry him." I said. "The rest of it was a bit of a shock."
"But you're happy for them, I know you are. Just another kid to add to the list of those who already adore you." She smiled.
"Yeah, no of course I am." I sighed. "It's just weird...it's like I obviously knew they were together, but them having a baby is just some sort of weird confirmation that Niall's been having sex with my sister."
She laughed out loud, shaking her head at me as she giggled, before she leaned up and kissed my cheek. She took my hand and led me back into the living room where everyone was now gathered looking at everyone's presents we'd opened, Soph and Cash both standing in front of Gem and asking her about the baby in her tummy.
I looked around at them all, my Mum and Niall laughing over in the corner while Ryan and Kelsey sat cuddled up on the couch watching the kids, and Hailey staring over at all of them in adoration. There weren't a lot of us, but there was enough love in that room to last me a life time and I knew I had everything I would ever need.
I didn't know at the time what our lives would become, but looking back now I think I knew that was the start of it all. Standing there in that moment, on Christmas Day surrounded by all of the people that meant the most to us, I knew that Hailey and I were finally in the place we were always supposed to be. Of course, in typical Harry and Hailey fashion, it had taken us longer than necessary to get there, but we always found our way. We just had to make it harder than it needed to be, and I'd come to realize that was just our way.
We were stubborn, and difficult, but I think that was what kept us going all those years. We were too hard headed to give in, to let the outside world win and break us apart, and we fought with and for each other whenever we needed to. Our love for each other had led us through some of the most difficult times in our lives, and we were there for each other when it mattered. Long before Hailey was ever my girlfriend, or anything else for that matter, she was my best friend.
Over the next few years, Hailey went on three more contracts to South America, doing her best to save the planet, while I made two more albums toured the world doing what I loved. Our relationship was strong and we'd made it through, both of us supportive of each other's dreams as we cheered each other on through the distance.
Niall and Gemma welcomed a baby girl that summer, and I'd never seen either of them so happy. They were married shortly after, and they navigated their way through Niall's career while welcoming a son the year after. My mother was of course over the moon, and it seemed running around after her grandchildren was enough to keep her occupied and content in the years since Robin's passing.
Three years after our first official date, I took Hailey back to her parent's favorite restaurant and proposed. We were married the following year in the yard that connected our two properties, in a small ceremony surrounded by our family and friends as we promised to love each other forever through anything life may throw at us. We stayed in Lily Ridge for the most part, travelling home to England a few times a year to see my family and stay for a while, and our lives slowly just became about surrounding ourselves with the people we loved and everything else seemed to die down.
Two years after we were married, Hailey and I welcomed a son, and twin girls the year after that. Being parents was by far the greatest accomplishment of our lives, and raising our kids to be loving and kind people became our main focus. We travelled as a family, showing them the world and the way other people lived, but always returned to Lily Ridge and the strong foundation of home that we tried to instill in them.
It wasn't until this moment, as I sit here holding my wife's hand, watching our first born walk across the stage at his high school graduation, that I realize just how far we've come. Thinking about all of those years ago, when we were just a couple of kids who fell in love one summer, I suddenly see how much we've accomplished together. We've built a life based on love, created a loving and stable home, sustained a strong marriage, raised three beautiful children, and remained best friends the entire way through. It hasn't always been easy, but with Hailey by my side nothing ever really seemed hard.
I leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Hailey's temple as she did her best to compose herself, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue as the ceremony came to a close.
"I can't believe our baby is finished high school." She laughed lightly through her sniffles. "The girls are done next year, then they'll all be off at college. When did we get so old?"
I smiled down at her, brushing my hand over her cheek and pushing the hair off her face as I looked at her.
"We're not old." I laughed. "And you're still as beautiful as the day I met you."
I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, before I took her hand and helped her stand from the chairs so we could make our way through the crowd to take the hundreds of photos I knew Hailey would want to. We found all three of the kids standing outside, chatting away with each other as Hailey and I stood and watched. The twins took turns trying on their brother's graduation cap, and the three of them laughed and giggled together before he threw both of them into a double head lock. I'd always loved that the three of them were so close, grateful that they'd grown up with similar relationships that I'd had with Gemma and Hails had with Ryan.
I threw my arm around Hailey and kissed her temple as we watched them, happy and healthy, and she turned to smile up at me.
"I think we did good, Styles." She smiled as she held her fist out.
"And to think, it all started with a cup of tigger ice cream." I smiled as I took my fist and bumped it with hers.
THE END
*Author's Note*
Ahhhh I'm kinda sad that this one is finished! I think I'm gonna have a hard time letting go of these two, I've become quite attached haha.
Now that this one is finished, I am going to upload the first chapter of my next story which is called "Breaking The Ice" so I hope you guys will check that one out too. I am working on Family Ties for the moment, but make sure you follow me so you will get notifications on my new stories if you want to be updated on what I'm working on.
Thank you soooo much for reading, you guys have no idea how much your comments and feedback mean to me, some days it's the only thing that keeps me writing. I love you all, and I hope you've enjoyed Harry and Hailey's journey as much as I have.
As always, you can direct message me or leave a comment if you want to chat :)
Sarah <3