Chapter 25: A 'Threat' For Two
[PAUL TREVOR'S POV]
From: Exellor Oneiro
We will not practice today.
Napakunot naman ang noo ko sa text niya. Ano nanaman kayang trip ng babaeng 'to? Natatawa na lang ako sa sarili ko pag nasasabihan niya ako ng mga 'kasabihan' niyang halos yata kaya niyang i-relate sa akin.
Nabibilib na lang ako lagi. Sa lahat ng ginagawa niya. But there's this something that I can't explain. The sensations, the weird tingles I felt everytime she says something that would leave my mouth hanging. Lahat ng lumalabas sa bibig niya'y may tagong kataga, na dapat ako lang ang makaalam.
Hindi ko man alam kung ano ang mga iyon, pero hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti dahil may nararamdaman ako sa bawat salita na gusto niyang marinig ko. I feel so damn special for her. And she, she is special for me. I'll show it to her. I just need the right timing.
Again, no assumptions. I learned already.
But damn, I can't get over his freakin' smile–
“UUUUY!”
“Aray!” usal ko ng bigla akong batukan ni Greg! Fckface!
“What was that for?!” bulyaw ko sa kanya habang siya itong ngiti-ngiting nagtataas pa ng kilay sa akin.
“Ikaw ah, kanina ka pa ngumingiteeee!”
“Bakit? Masama bang ngumiti?”
Kita ko ang pagtikhim ni Kylie. “Trev, 'lam mo naman siguro na hindi ka makukulong sa pagngiti diba?” bahid ang pagkasarkastiko sa kanyang tono.
Inirapan ko lang siya, at sila pang dalawa ni Greg ang tumawa. Napailing-iling na lang si Jayvee sa kanila, at nginitian ako. Nginitian ko rin siya, kahit alam kong may gusto siyang sabihin, ngunit hindi niya iyon magawa.
Napansin ko ang pagbabago niya mula ng nawala si Rhianne. Kung dati, siya ang palakwento sa amin, siya ngayon ang nakikinig, at parang namamasid na lang sa mga kwento ng barkada. Hindi naman gaanong malaki ang kanyang pagbabago, pero nahahalata.
“Kayong dalawa ah...” turo ko kina Greg at Kylie na hindi pa rin tuigil sa kakatawa. “Anong trip niyo?!”
“Ewan!” sabay nilang sagot.
Binilisan ko ang paglakad ko paalis ng school, pero sunod pa rin sila ng sunod sa akin. Tumigil ako, kaya sila rin ay tumigil. What the hunch?!
Kunot-noo ko silang tiningnan. “Bakit kayo sumusunod sa akin?”
Hindi sila sumagot, at binigyan nila ako ng isang malaking ngiti. You mean, ngisi.
“Guys, you can't follow me.”
“Bakit? Saan ka ba pupunta?”
“Kay Exellor.” I answered, so straightforwardly.
“Luh, alam mo bahay nila?? Uy sabihin mo naman saken para puntahan ko siya minsan tas mag-night out kami!” aniya Kylie.
“Hindi e. May lugar lang kung saan kami nagkikita... kaya lubayan niyo na ako! Bye na!” talagang minadali ko ang pagsakay ko sa motor ko para makapunta na sa fields, at dahil nga doon ay nilubayan rin naman ako ng mga kaibigan ko! Thank for that!
“UY! MAY GIG SA FRIDAY AH!” paalala pa ni Greg sakin.
***
Atat na atat akong tumakbo tungo sa same spot namin doon sa fields ni Don Kael para makita si Exellor.
Parang ang gulo lang kasi. Ayaw niyang mag-practice, pero kailangan. Kaya nga tinawag na practice! Practice makes perfect ika nga, sa kanya, practice makes no sense! Nang makarating na ako sa fields...
Halos lumuwa ang mata ko ng makitang wala siya roon!
NASAAN NA YUNG BABAENG YUN?!
Halos mangati na ko sa kakaisip nasan siya. Alam ko mag-tetext naman yun kung nasan siya, kaso wala pa akong narereceive ni isang message sa kanya.
Kahit yung 'Sure' pa niya yon, o hindi.
Halos umikot ang mata ko, hinahanap hanap sya.
“You're too early.” may narinig akong boses mula sa likuran ko. Bigla akong napangiti ng sobra, at lumingon.
The same beanie, uniform, bag and face... Yup. There she is.
“I had to do something.” she says, sitting on the grass, literally sumarizing the things she really did.
Just nice.
I sat beside her, just as she placed her bag on her left, letting me sit on her right. I nudged her arm, which made her head turn to me.
My god, her stare made the hairs on my skin stand! Fck.
“A-Ah-uhm, Magpractice tayo mamaya ah? Para doon sa mga steps na binigay na talagang isasayaw.”
“Sure.”
Seriously?
Atleast, she answered a yes for that!
And last night, I really had the time to practice my dancing skills at home in my own bedroom, playing a classical music, trying to dance with an imaginary partner. I looked liked a total idiot doing it but I got the steps that way. For that, I had the confidence to dance with her.
Imaginary's better than having to dance with Manang. Baka mabigyan ko pa siya ng osteoporosis.
And there goes that long silence again. Nakakaramdam ako ng awkwardness kahit papaano dahil sa mga ganoong pangyayari na minsan eh hindi ko gusto. Hindi tulad niya, ay hindi naman ako laging tahimik. Kaya nagulat naman ako at may mga so called 'friends' rin siya kung ituring. Which makes me think...
“Kinakausap mo rin ba sina Jamiel and... Chris?”
Lumingon muli siya sa akin. The eyes! Damn! “They talk to me.”
“Kailan mo sila nakilala? Buti na lang pala, nag-transfer sila rito.”
“It's a long story.”
“...Then tell me. I'll listen.” I say, getting her full attention. Pansin ko iyon ng bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata niya.
Then, again, silence emerged. Lagi na lang naming kasama ang katahimikan.
She took a sharp breath and once again, looked at the vew before her, before she spoke. “June 10, 2013, first day of class for my 7th year. I chose to sat at the farthest seat of the room, just as I started to look at my new classmates. Then, class started. With the usual introduction, we had to introduce ourselves, as well as the teacher, and the lessons that will be discussed for the whole grading.
But, this particular girl came late. She came 30 minutes late. The teacher looked at her, and asked “Since you are late today, can you introduce yourself to us, kindly?”
She then, plastered a sincere smile, looking at us with glee, “I'm Jamiel L . Patrimonio. 13 years old, I'm actually a transferee here, so sorry for the lousy introduction...”
Some students chuckled at this, and so as the teacher, clearly amused with her. “So, Jamiel, what are your hobbies? Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?” the teacher asked.
“Okay, I'm actually interested on... computers. Specifically arduino, and drones... Also computer games and all that. I loved reading too, and discovering things.”
“Nerd alert.” I heard someone say, making some students snicker. I saw her gaze from the second row of chairs, to the very front. She smiled proudly, showing off her silver-colored braces.
“Y'know boy, the correct term for that is... smart.” she says.
“Smart? I don't see why you are one?”
“That's the point. Sabi-sabi kang you don't see eh hindi ka naman bulag, dumbss.” she whispered to the guy who just told him that, then turned to look for chairs to sit on. Her face went sour looking at the front.
Then her eyes landed on me. It landed on the vacant seat beside me. She went towards it and sat.
“Uhm, what's your... name?”
“Exellor.”
“Ha? E-xellor? Eselor?”
“Exellor Oneiro.”
“Weird... but cool.”
That's the day where it all started. Chris's story was a different one. I met him when she introduced him to me, when I once, visited their house.”
“Ah... Interesting story actually..” komento ko.
Naintindihan ko naman ang kwento niya, but I struggled to keep my eye on her, and my body relaxed. Kanina pa malakas ang kabog ng puso ko at ang tanging ginagawa ko lang ay titigan siya. Hindi rin niya alam, na habang nakapahinga lang sa damuhan ang kamay niya, ay nagawa kong pagtabihin ang kamay ko sa kanya. It felt like thunder. My fingers came in contact with hers, that gave weird sensations on my skin, leaving me wanting more, but at the same time, leaving me to stop 'cause I felt like it's something that's illegal.
She's an illegal masterpiece.
Sht to the infinite master legendary power.
“Paul...” I heard her call my name. I realized that I've been staring too long. Just embarrasing.
“A-Uh-U-Uhm... Sorry, I just... I was just lost...”
“That's why I like it here. This place makes my mind wander, and lost.” She said. If you only know you were the reason why I'm feeling like this.
“Buti na lang talaga at dumating ka. Nag-alala ako at kala ko naman e saan ka na pumunta.”
“If I hadn't really come, what would you do?” she asked.
“Hmm... I'll probably try ways to find you.”
“And if you don't?” she asked me, raising a brow.
“I'll just wait.”
Maya-maya pa nga, ay napagdesisyunan ko nang magpractice kami para sa Foundation Day, since malapit na rin iyon.
Well, kahit na nagtext siyang hindi kami sasayaw today, pinilit ko na siya since malapit na talaga yung ball.
I already have the steps, it's the practice that we need to do. To be familiarized with it.
Hindi tulad noong unang practice, ay hindi pa gaanong kulimlim at bakas pa ang kulay kahel sa kalangitan ng simulan na naming pag-aralan ang mga steps.
Buti na lamang at na-focus naman ako sa practice, avoiding her gaze, na halos ika-atake ko yata ng puso. Hindi ko alam bakit ganoon na lang ang kaya niyang gawin sa akin. The first steps were easy, but it kinda got hard when we got into the middle of the song that we're supposed to dance with. I'm actually surprised how she already know how to dance. We did the countings and she did too, missing a few steps here and there, but she's an excellent dancer.
“How can you dance like that? Nagpapractice ka ba sa bahay niyo?” I asked her, really curious ofthat thought.
“No. Like what I've said, I just had to feel the lyrics and the tone of the song, to be able to dance...”
“Ahh...” wala na akong nasabi at nagpatuloy pa sa practice.
In the end, we did great. Halos mabilis lang namin naka-bisado ang sayaw na parang eksperto kami roon.
***
[EXELLOR ONEIRO'S POV]
“Naku! Nasugatan ka nanaman sa noo! Ikaw kasi, mag-ingat ingat ka! Lagi ka na lang nasusugatan ah!” there was Jamiel's yammering on me again, while we walk our way to our room.
She acts like a kid but she isn't one!
I really have to buy a hearing aid if she wouldn't stop.
“Like I told you, if it's unavoidable, then what can I do?”
“What can I do? Can you be aware of your surroundings, girl?”
“Are you my mother to scold me?”
“No, but I'm your friend.” she turned to face me, stopping me from walking.
I raised a brow at her, just as a small hint of smile forms on her lips. “Come on now, Xellor.”
I made her stepped aside, trying to fasten my walking pace, but hopefully she catches up, still whining about my wounds.
When will she ever stop?
Entering the room, my eyes automatically finds Paul's eyes. And at that moment, he was also looking at me.
I felt surprised, that I shouldn't feel towards his stare. My eyes went down to his childish smile, which he usually wears a lot or the past few days. I noticed how he felt so calm when he's with me. Unlike the time where I first met him. His eyes were full of deceive. But now, it became innocence.
I had the urge to bite my tongue for that weird sensation I felt again.
I look away, and saw Jamiel already sitting on her chair, talking to Jayvee.
I didn't had a choice, but to shook my head and sit on mt chair. But before that, her eyes landed on me. Rhianne's eyes landed on me.
Her look tells the same thing, as her eyes had a burning glare into them. I know she's furious. I got a glance at her shaking, clenched fist while walking towards her seat on the back. She never removed her stare at me.
It was chiling, scary, and threatening.
But I never felt chills, 'cause I've already felt something even more demanding that what she's giving.
***
Time flies and it was already dismissal.
Nothing much happened on lunch and class. Just the unit tests that we have to answer on every subject because we had to take our mid term exams the day after tomorrow. And oh, Rhianne was still staring at me the whole time, like I was naked or something. But I ain't. I know she wants me to feel her wrath.
She must do something more than that.
When I opened my locker, a letter immediately fell on the floor. I picked it up, and opened it. Handwriting was familiar, and so as the message on it:
I thought you'll follow, but you can't.
It will stay that way, you said
Don't know what you're into,
But definitely, I'm giving you a threat for two.
– r.j.s.
She doesn't have patience, and definitely not an observer. Her minds is filled with darkness, driven by hate and jealousy. Jealousy. Something that she felt because of an assumption, which leads to love-turned-hate.
I hope she recovers quickly, or she'll really regret this for so long. Hindi magtatagal ay mapapawi rin ang galit na nasa kanyang ulo na ang nais lang ay kontrolin siya.
Habang naglalakad palabas ng school, ay may biglang umakbay sa akin, at sumunod sa paglakad ko palabas ng school.
“Sumunod ka sa'kin, and don't you even dare shout. Who am I kidding? You don't even do that for a girl like you.” Caily whispers to me.
We went to this empty alley, not that far away from school, where I had a glance at the girl who's standing erect, hands behind her back, looking at the cemented floor. When I was a few inches away from her, I really had to wince in pain, for Caily had forcefully swept her feet to the back of my knees, forcing them to knee on the cold, cemented floor.
Then the girl looked up. It was Rhianne, now wearing a victorious smile that left me hollow.
“You think I was cliché, and I'm gonna pull off your hair like a btch? Sorry, but no.” she says.
“No, I wasn't thinking of that. Befriending a girl like Caily makes imaginations twists like fairytales turning to a cry fest.” I answer, enduring the pain on my knee from the cemented floor, almost feeling my naked flesh being tore apart.
I know what will happen. I never saw how but I know.
“Akala mo ngayon nagsisinugaling ako sa kundisyon ko HA?!”
And with that, I just knew her shoe hits my face, which made me stumble to the ground, and my heart shaken just like that. I felt my eyes brimmed with tears, but I had the courage to open my eyes and still see the calm and beautiful sky. I felt the pain ranging from my forehead to my mouth, which hopefully did not bleed from the impact. But the pain felt like burning lava.
“I didn't not exactly agreed or disagreed to your deal, remember?”
I remember I never had an answer to her condition. I did not have an answer for it. It's like I don't want to answer. I just don't want to. She acts like he owns her but in reality, no one owns somebody.
“Ibato mo nga sa kanya!” her voice was filled with anoyance. Just then, I felt a bunch of photos thrown in my face. Some got in my cheeks, which I took, and had a look on:
It was Paul, behind the fences of the fields.
I took another photo near my eye, it was recently taken, it was the night where we first danced. I was standing behind the fences while he's already on his motorbike.
She's been spying on me. I bet she felt so insecure and had someone to take photos. My hand just felt clammy, just thinking about it. I don't want her to regret things, but I can't just say it yet. It will affect everyone, even her or my life.
I struggled to stand, picking up the photos and seeing how much she really despised my friendship with him.
“You really despise me?” I ask her.
She took a big step towards me before answering. “Alam mo, kung hindi ka lang dumating sa buhay niya, everything would be normal! Hindi ganito! Alam mo ba ung feeling na gusto mo nang makapatay ha?! That's how I despised you.” she made an emphasis on her final words before landing a hard punch on my jaw.
I stumbled again, now lying on the floor, as I felt blood coming out of my wound that her punch made. It burns like hellfire. It hurts like a stab from a dull knife. I could tolerate pain for I'm used to it, but with her, she inflicts double of it, making my mind forget about tolerating it and instead accept it.
Do I deserve this? Am I hindrance to someone's destiny? Is this enough to make me pay for my sins?
I repeatedly asked myself, as the attacks started coming. I saw another girl beating me up with Rhianne which I don't recognize, but her attacks were furious as the two started beating the life out of me. Every punch and kick that they did stabs my heart like they really want me gone.
I had to bite the bullet just to keep myself from crying. From yelling out loud. From fighting back.
I was losing my breath, trying to comprehend what was happening. My vision were blurry, and I felt every inch of me already tired and hurt. My arms were shaking, and so as my legs.
A tear fell down on my cheek.
A sharp kick at my lower rib made a tear fall again, hearing myself sob so hard. I can't stop it anymore.
Hot tears fell from my eyes, as they continued their merciless assault. Caily's kick on my nose made it bled hard, the other girl's kick on my arm made scratches on it and Rhianne's words were a pain in the head. A migraine that has no cure.
It tears me apart, slowly.
It's like my world stopped moving. Flashbacks started invading my head again.
I am no good, just a useless piece of trash. Made to be the bearer of pain. To see darkness. To feel what pain is. To taste what imperfections does. To smell the scent of hatred. To touch the fantasies that tried to hide reality.
I can't ask anyone for help.
No one dare would help a girl like me. They'll likely want to take advantage of me. Everything was taken away from me anyway.
Suddenly, the attack stopped. All I heard was my harsh breath and the mere whispering of the girls are all that I can hear. Until I felt a hand, touching my beanie. My eyes shot up, the visions of fantasy and reminiscence vanished in an instant.
“Tanggalin mo!” Caily yelled at me, while I keep my hands on my head to keep it still.
A sudden bolt of electricity surged though my veins. They cannot do it!
While both her hands were struggling to remove it from me, I had a greatest strength to stand and land a hard kick on her jaw, which made her stumble, as she voluntarily lets go of my beanie, hitting her back on a cemented wall in the process. I turned back, just in time to see the other girl running towards me.
Eyes turned red, and fists were clenched as I prepared myself from her impact but even before she lay a finger on my bleeding face, I had punched her with my right, then I did a right kick to her stomach, sending her flying to the cemented wall, which hits her back too.
I turned to face Rhianne. Her face shown fear.
I went towards her, and prepared a right hand for her. Raising it quickly, there was nothing on my mind but anger, hatred, and pain.
I gritted my teeth, really wanting to punch her face.
But that is something that I don't do.
Tears kept falling, as I struggled to find the strength to hit her. My clenched fist was shaking, directed towards her.
Why can't I do it?
Because I shouldn't. I shouldn't.
“Syempre. I live my life to the fullest! Even if destiny interferes, I'll let it. If it wants to play, then I'll play with it.”
I remembered Paul's voice saying those words. Then, I remember him almost leaning to me, just to... kiss me.
“I know you'll respect me, Paul Trevor...”
Respect. Maybe that's what I forgot. My own emotions deceived me, playing with me just to tell me I'm something that is dangerous.
Rhianne prepared for my punch, closing her eyes slightly. I decided to put down my arm, just as a shocked Rhianne looked at me, confused.
That's when I felt a sharp, painful hit from my back, forcing me to lie down on the ground, head first.
I can't see anymore, but pitch black. I felt like I can disintegrate. My head felt very light, and all energy was lost from me.
“Tara na! Mag-gagabi na oh!” I heard Caily's voice.
“Rhianne! Ano pang tinatnga-tnga mo pa diyan?!” she yelled again at her, before I was completely lost in the dark.