The Gambler, the Thief, and t...

By SSSRHA2

79.9K 2.9K 4.3K

Naruto's never lost. Sasuke's never gotten caught. Sakura's going to keep it that way. Kakashi doesn't want t... More

Chapter One: How to Completely Screw Up!
Chapter Two: How to Introduce Characters!
Chapter Three: How to Write Random Stuff!
Chapter Four: The Horridly Nonsensical!
Chapter Five: In Which There Was Plot
Chapter Six: That One Filler Chapter
Chapter Seven: In Which Everyone is Screwed
Chapter Eight: In Which Things Just Keep Happening???
Chapter Nine: In Which There Are Too Many Characters

Prologue

15.7K 501 281
By SSSRHA2

Just wanted to let you all know that the cover of this is probably going to be changing a lot until I'm satisfied with it. It might be once in a month, or five times in a day. I'm just weird like that.

...

Naruto and Sasuke glanced around. The alley was dark, and they were alone. A small grin forming on his face, Naruto lead Sasuke through the worn door of a store with broken windows that had long since closed.

"You sure this is the place?" Sasuke muttered.

"Positive," Naruto said back. "She's never wrong."

"She's never wrong about this stuff," Sasuke agreed, "but you don't exactly have the best sense of direction."

"Shut up," Naruto muttered.

The two maneuvered their way through the forgotten furniture, all the way to the back of the store. Then, Naruto pushed a shelf aside. It had wheels on the bottom of it, so it was fairly easy. There was a door behind it. Naruto carefully opened it. Light and sound flooded into the store.

"Come on," Naruto said, excited. "I haven't been here since they moved it!"

"I'm coming," Sasuke grumbled. They put the shelf back in place and closed the door. There were a set of stairs leading down into the shop's basement. When Naruto and Sasuke reached the bottom, they were met by a guard.

The bulky man glared down at them. "You better go back to your mommies. This isn't the place for toddlers."

Sasuke snarled at the man. The man involuntarily took a step back. Naruto, however, just flipped the man a coin and said, "You must be new. Sasuke doesn't like people pointing out his age. We'll let it slide."

The guard, flabbergasted, said, "But, but you're five!"

"Six!" Sasuke snapped.

"What does it matter?" Naruto asked. "Besides, Doku's expecting us."

"D-Doku?!" the guard stuttered.

"Don't stutter. It's not becoming of a guard of the Kuro ie." Naruto and Sasuke went on their way.

...

"Well, well, well, look who we've got here. Welcome back."

"Thank you, Lord Matsuya."

"Forget about it. I see you brought your sidekick."

"Nah, if I called him my sidekick, he would skewer me."

"Well, I wouldn't put it past him. He's an Uchiha, after all. Now, you're in for a game with Doku and his gang, right?"

"Yes, Lord Matsuya."

"Well, be careful kid."

"I will."

...

Naruto's face was neutral, cards in his hand.

"Geez," he heard someone in the background whisper, "the kid's got mad poker skills. What's he doing down here, anyway? He and his friend are probably, like, three!"

"They're six, you idiot. Quiet down or they'll hear you!"

"What's the matter?"

"Don't you know who that is? He's Tsuchigumo! And his friend, he's the second child of the Uchiha Clan Head!"

"R-Really?"

"Yes, now shut up!"

Sasuke heard the whole conversation and was livid. Why he ought to gut them alive. It would be so quick that no one would notice until it was too late. Yes, that would be-

Wait.

Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction when he eyed Doku slip a card under his table. He glanced at Naruto. He also noticed but made no move to call him out. Sasuke understood. This was his domain.

Dammit, he didn't have any weapons on him. Sasuke shot Naruto a look. I'll be right back.

You better be quick.

Sasuke turned and calmly walked out of the room. Once he was out, he quickly grabbed a leftover apron that one of the waiters had left. He went up to a table where someone had just sat down.

"Hello, can I take your order?"

The man, who Sasuke recognized as Kanamoto, glanced at him. "A bottle of sake."

"Of course." Sasuke made like he was going to leave, before pausing. "Wait...aren't you the crazy old drunk that Sanoma keeps talking about?"

Kanamoto went rigid. "Who is this...Sanoma?"

"Uh...he was in the back. The one with the obviously-dyed-black hair."

"Thanks, kid."

Kanamoto got up and walked away. While he did, though, Sasuke carefully snagged his pocket knife out of his back pocket.

He noticed that the woman Kanamoto was sitting with had seen him. Sasuke extended the knife and flipped it in his hand, something any Academy student his age could do, but it never failed to intimidate civilians. Sasuke winked and whispered, "Shh."

The woman, white as a sheet, nodded.

Sasuke pocketed the blade and walked back to the room. On his way, he found a distressed waiter. He undid his apron and said, "O-Oh, uh, Mister? I found this...is it yours?"

"Yes!" the waiter exclaimed. "Thank you!"

Sasuke gave him a polite smile, then made his way back to the room. Everyone was about to reveal their cards. He made his way towards Doku then, quick as lightning, snatched the various cards from his lap.

"Ah," Sasuke said, "so you're cheating now?"

Doku's face twisted into a snarl. "You little...Get them!"

Sasuke and Naruto were suddenly back-to-back as a few of the guards and all the other poker players stood, advancing on them. Naruto had his kunai out, and Sasuke his newly acquired pocket knife.

The rest of the guards didn't make a single move to help. They, like most everyone in the Kuro ie, were always craving a good fight.

Naruto and Sasuke glanced at each other. What are we supposed to do? the former seemed to ask.

Determination burned in Sasuke's eyes. We fight.

The odds weren't good though. Sure, Sasuke and Naruto were quite good for their age, but against nearly a dozen people? They could win, but it would be hard.

Of course, they could just flee, but there was thirty thousand Ryo in the pot. They wanted their money!

Just as the first person launched themselves at them, though, the door to the room burst open. Men in black suits started charging in, and many people balked at the insignia on their backs.

"I-It's the Akai Kawa's men! Run!"

In the middle of all the pandemonium, Naruto and Sasuke let out a breath of relief.

"How does she always know when we're in trouble?" Naruto muttered.

"Now, that would be telling," a high-pitch voice said.

Naruto and Sasuke watched as Sakura walked into the room, a pair of sunglasses on her head.

She sighed. "This is starting to feel like a habit. You try to do something, you screw it up, and I have to bail you out. You do realize that I have other things to do, right?"

"S-Sorry Sakura," Sasuke and Naruto synced.

"You always say that," Sakura sniffed, "but you never mean it!"

"You know you love us."

"...I suppose I do."

"Yay!"

"Now, come on. We've got to go to the Academy tomorrow. Sasuke, your parents and Itachi must be worried sick."

"...I'll go."

"Good. Now-"

"Uh, Lady Sakura?" one of the Akai Kawa's men interrupted quite sheepishly.

"What is it?"

"Er, what are supposed to do with these?" He indicated what was in his hand.

Sakura critically eyed the severed head in his hand, which was still dripping blood, some guts poking out. She glanced around the room and noticed many more of her men having the same problem.

"Get the duct tape. We'll wrap 'em and take 'em out back. Make sure we've got enough wood and gas."

"Yes, Lady Sakura."

"Oh, and Suyo?" she called across the room. Suyo who was about to, er, get rid of the person in his hands, paused.

"Yes, Lady Sakura?"

"Don't kill Doku. He's too high profile."

"Got it."

Sakura put on her sunglasses and turned to her two friends. "I'll just take my share of the money and we can go."

"Of course," Naruto said, expertly dividing up the money.

"Oh, uh, Sakura?" Sasuke said. Sakura turned to him. "Here."

Sasuke flipped Sakura his pocket knife. She raised an eyebrow. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"I snagged it off Kanamoto."

"Kami, Sasuke, how the hell'd you do that?"

"Now," Sasuke said with a wink, "that would be telling."

...

Sasuke did his best to quietly sneak into his house. Out of him, Naruto, and Sakura, he had the hardest time hiding it. Naruto lived alone and Sakura's mother knew that Sakura ran her late-father's underground business. Sasuke, however, had two parents and a brother, none of whom knew about his...other life.

Luckily for him, everyone seemed to be asleep. Sasuke climbed through his bedroom window, which he always kept unlocked when he was away, and made his way to the shower. Some of Sakura's men got blood all over him.

Itachi watched silently from the shadows of his brother's room. What on Earth...

~End of Prologue~

---

Whelp...I'm definitely going to regret posting this. Anyway, here's the prologue to my new story, even though I've got a few others still going. I'm honestly an idiot, but inspiration just struck! I don't know when I'll post the first chapter, but it'll be soon...hopefully. Be on the lookout for that.

Anyway, remember to Vote and Comment! I might continue based on just how much attention this gets! Until next time, this is SSSRHA2, signing out!

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