Posted on November 16th, 2018
| . . . C H A P T E R - 2.18.1 : R I G H T - V S - W R O N G . . . |
[Angad's POV]
"Good bye, Mrs. Khanna." I sternly said into the phone before pressing my thumb harshly on the screen to end the call. It was the last thing I wanted today, to have my mood ruined. But, no. My so-called Mother always has to call at the right time for the wrong reasons.
Today was Khushi's engagement. They'd all arrived in Shimla last night but I was too far gone to visit them then. As if nursing a hangover wasn't enough, she had to call to remind me of the deal we made whereby I have to start showing interest in 'family' business.
Getting out of the car, I walked around the back of the house knowing their back entrance was almost always left open, unless it was night. As soon as I entered, Armaan greeted loudly. "Khanna! You finally made it."
"Lower that voice," I grumbled at once, wincing.
He shook his head at me in disappointment, catching on to my hangover, and slapped the back of my head. "Are you kidding me right now, Angad?"
"I don't need another lecture, Armaan." I shut him off for I already had one from dear mother.
He sighed, gave me a look over, and took me in his hugs. "You look pathetic."
"Same to you."
He rolled his eyes, pulling back, and informing before I even asked. "They are upstairs getting ready; though I am sure it's mostly Basket trying to get Khushi to play dress up for one day."
I chuckled for I can imagine that struggle. My sympathies for Riddhima. "And where's the groom?"
"They insisted on staying at a hotel."
I questioned, "Why, this house too small to add two more people?"
"Five, actually." He corrected as we made our way upstairs, "Him, his sisters, a friend and that little one."
"Right. His son." I recalled Armaan had mentioned it over one of our phone calls. "I still can't believe that, by the way."
He shrugged, "Yeah, but Khushi seems to be okay so that's all I care." He nodded for me to go greet my other two friends while he disappeared in his room to get ready himself. The time for engagement was kept for 1 in the afternoon and it was already 11. Not a lot of people were invited, keeping it a small affair given Sashi uncle's health and not wanting to make it big and make it tough for him.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
"Knock, knock." I said while peeking my head inside.
Riddhima lightly scolded for I hadn't truly knocked before opening the door and saying the words, "Angad, you don't walk in when girls are changing."
I point out seeing Riddhima is dressed and Khushi is lazily on the bed lying on her stomach, "I don't see anyone changing."
Rolling her eyes, she gives me a quick hug before handing me the task, "Now you only get that lazy bum to get dressed. Arnav and his family will be here any second now and she is still off in her la-la land."
"I'm doing something very important, thank you very much!" Khushi defended as she typed away on her phone.
Riddhima placed her hands on her hips, "Oh, yeah? Like what?"
Khushi mumbled meekly, "Talking to Arnav."
"I give up," Riddhima said to no one in particular and walked out.
I jumped on the bed next to Khushi, mimicking her actions and laying on my stomach, holding weight up on my elbows. "Hi, Smiley."
She briefly smiled at whatever Arnav sent and with thumbs typing, responded. "Hi, Khanna."
I rolled my eyes and took her phone away, scolding. "Your best friend is in front of you after months and you want to spend your time texting the guy you already live with?"
She clarified, as if it made a difference. "I don't live with him. I live at his house, with his sisters."
"Point, Khushi," I said and she sighed, knowing I was right.
Sitting up, she hugged my side. "Hi, Angad. My bestest friend in the whole wide world after Riddhima, Armaan, and Kripa. How are you doing?"
I demand in offense, "Hey, since when did Kripa trump me? I come first!"
She laughed and asking, "Share the spot?"
"Fine, but if she asks, I am still ahead of her in the line." I compromised for I knew Khushi loved all of us in different ways.
She got straight to point after our short aimless banter, "So, why are you hungover this time?"
I groaned, trying to convey I didn't want to talk about it but she kept glaring me down. She wasn't going to let it go. "Remember the branch they opened in Mumbai?"
She nodded, confirming. "It was last year, right?"
"Mhmm," I confirmed while adding information, "They want me there."
"So, what? Planning on running away again?"
"I've run out of those free cards now." I grumbled. "It's the real deal this time. If I'm not there next week, I'm done for."
She hooks her arm with mine to hug it, "I'm sorry, Angad."
I pat her hand to assure, "Don't worry. I made sure to get something out of it for myself."
Her head leans back to look at me. "Which is?"
"My personal life is mine. They don't get a say in it. Ever."
She scoffed, "What personal life? The never-ending drinking and string of one-night stands?"
I chuckled in light humor picking up her taunt.
The amusement vanished from her eyes as she returned to hugging my side and rested her head on my shoulder, speaking seriously. "Guess you were smart about it. Atleast be able to keep work and personal life separate."
"Yeah. I don't need them thinking they can interfere in everything because I agreed to join the business."
Her cheek bobbed up and down on my shoulder as I twirled her phone between my thumb and middle finger. Almost a minute later, she receives a message and seeing it's from Arnav, I returned her phone to her. She checks it but it must not need an answer for she put it aside.
I expressed, "I'm mad at you, you know?"
"About?"
"You didn't tell me either." I pointed out, "Did you think I would give you a hard time about it too like Armaan?"
She caught on I was thinking about her abortion at the later question. In a low voice, she admitted. "No. I'm sorry. If I told anyone, it would have been real."
"It was real, Khushi." I told her in a clipped tone for simply not saying it out loud does not make it false as if it never happened.
She sighed, not meeting my eyes.
I leaned back against the frame of the bed. "I just don't like the fact that you went through it all by yourself, Khushi. If you'd just told me... I'd have been there. I don't even know how you did it by yourself. You must have been so scared."
"Out of my mind."
I let the silence convey the feelings. She was so much tougher, I wish I was too.
She questioned after a moment, "Did I do the right thing?"
I thought of it for a second before answering honestly, "I don't think there is a 'right' vs 'wrong' choice for this, Smiley. You did what you had to; what was best for you. If I speak personally, then better to do that than spend a life keeping your child at an arm's length because you can't bear to look at them. Take my parents, for example. The way they treat me as an asset instead of their son, sometimes I do wish they hadn't had me. If you had kept it, who knows, that child would have grown to think the same if you couldn't eventually come to terms with it. Everyone involved would have been miserable."
She seemed to take her time grasping her mind around my advice which is not just to make her feel better of the choice she made but also my sincere feelings on it. In wanting to do the right thing, what would have been the point when she'd have been miserable and perhaps pass that on to the child as well?
She blinked away when her phone beeped again in a message. After reading it, she informed. "They're on their way."
I pat her hand out of my arm, "Then you better start getting ready."
She inhaled deeply before releasing it and nodding. I get off the bed to leave. "And hey, stick around after the engagement? Lots of things to catch you up on."
I understand it's about her and Arnav so I nod, assuming she wanted my advice with something and walk out of the room, closing it after me so she could change. Next door, I entered Armaan's room where Riddhima was as well and spend the time catching up with them - mostly on what the latest is in Armaan's music career for music I was interested in, business I was not.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
I entered the kitchen to get water for myself when I saw Kripa was already there pouring water in a glass from a jar. Given her back was facing me, I got an idea and stealthily crept up to her. Just as she placed the jar on the counter, I lifted her off the ground and twirled her around.
I laughed while she squealed and slapped my wrist to get me to put her back down. When I did, she angrily turned as if to give me a piece of her mind but her eyes widened on seeing it was me.
I accused, "Abusive much?"
I still remembered the first time we'd met in Australia and the violent manner in which I had been snapped out of my dreamless state.
She responded by slapping my arm, "You still carry around a death wish. What are you doing here?"
I pointed out the obvious, "I live here and it's my best friend's engagement. Where else would I be?" Her mouth turned into an 'O' shape. I chuckled, "So, do I get a hug?"
She scoffed as if to convey you are crazy if you think that'll happen. "No."
"Ouch."
She shrugged her shoulder, "You deserve that."
"And why exactly?"
"You couldn't call or text?"
I teased, "I didn't realize we were texting friends."
She rolled her eyes and muttered rhetorically, "Why did I spend all that time with you in Goa?"
"I'm a good listener." I offered for even if we spent all the time, it was mostly her talking as her break up with her ex had been recent.
"Delusions are bad for your health, Angad." She sassed though she knew it was true. I had lent a good ear.
Ignoring it, I questioned, "If I didn't, you could have texted me."
"Why would I?"
I offered cheekily, "Because you missed me?"
She scoffed again, "You wish."
I dramatically placed a hand over my chest, "Ouch, girl. That hurts." She rolled her eyes but stiffened when I leaned in. I spoke by her ear, covered by her hair. "Especially since I missed you."
I reach for the glass she had filled for herself which was behind her on the counter and pulled back. Her eyes narrowed at me and as I brought the glass to my lips, winked at her.
She opened her mouth, probably to scold me if she took this as flirting, but didn't get around to it since Arnav came in to see what was taking her so long. He informed clearing his throat, "Puja is starting."
She nodded and flashing me a sharp glare, walked around me.
I placed the glass on the counter to join the veneration which was happening before the ceremony but before I could walk around him, he warned. "Hurt her and I will hurt you."
Taking no offense to that, I honestly assured him. "I already know she deserves better; so, don't worry."
I had no plans of going anywhere near her. Not till I could get my shit together, anyway. And by then, who knows what would be going on in Kripa's life.
His forehead crinkled, probably finding it hard to believe, but I resumed walking around him and returned to the living room, sitting on other side of Armaan while Riddhima was on his other.
Seconds later, Arnav came and sat in the front with Khushi. Given it was their engagement, they were the one performing the veneration. They were long two hours and I honestly wondered why it had to be in the middle of the afternoon. I was starving and we ended up having lunch close to 4 in the afternoon after everything ended.
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| . . . C H A P T E R - 18.2 : L A S T - N I G H T . . . |
I glanced down to my hand at the sudden loss of a cigarette between my fingers. I followed the intruder up to her face. Throwing it on the floor and crushing it under her foot, Kripa said. "That stuff kills your liver."
"I'm aware." I mumbled and reached into my pockets to get the packet out.
Did she think she could light out one and that'll get me to stop smoking? Many have tried. None have succeeded.
When I tried to put it in between my teeth so I could light it, she pulled that out too. Right now, I am in no mood for her games and so end up snapping at her. "What's your fucking problem?"
Unfazed by my temper, she reached into my pocket where I had discarded the rest. I reached to take it, but she used her free arm to block me and tucked the box away to her hip bone and the waistband of her jeans. Then she crossed her arms over her chest, looking me straight in the eye - quite confident I wouldn't reach for it again.
Just to not let her think she'd won, I forwarded my hand but before it would touch her, her fingers wrapped around my wrist. Letting out a sigh of defeat, she chose a different manner of manipulation: request. "Angad, please. Till I am around, will you not smoke? You might not care about your liver but I do care about mine."
Those treacherous eyes of hers. Always captivated me. I tugged my wrist out of her hand and dropped the matter. I was aware of how it is more dangerous for people inhaling the smoke than the one smoking himself.
When I stood there, leaning back against the wall in silence, she mimicked and then broke the silence, "It's your best friends' engagement. What are you doing here, smoking and hungover?" When I glanced at her, she defended. "I'm not naïve. I can tell when someone is hungover."
"It's your brother's engagement. What are you doing here talking to me?" I questioned back for I would never share my parental problems with anyone who doesn't already know.
She exhaled, choosing to not answer my question either and nodded at the house in front of us. "That's your house?" She must have learned from Khushi at some point that we were neighbors and hence were best friends since childhood and even went to the same school.
I answered with a simple nod of the head before pulling out my phone to check the time. Then, I pushed off the wall, informing. "I've got stuff to do."
"Oh. Okay. Bye." She answered, a pinch of disappointment in her tone.
"Yeah," I said walking towards the common wall shared by the two houses. "Bye." With that, I jumped over the wall. A quicker way to get to my house rather than have to walk out of their gate, walk around to mine, and make that whole U-turn.
Unlocking the back door, I stepped inside the house and closed the door but left it unlocked. It's an empty house anyway - spare my room. There's barely anything valuable here. And, it was a small neighborhood with this being a small village in Shimla. Robbery? There was no such thing. Neighbors were all very trusting of each other whereby atleast during the day, we could leave our door open.
Upstairs, in my room, I have to start packing for I am leaving for Mumbai early in the morning. On my way from the kitchen, I'd grabbed a bottle of beer which I drink as I packed.
Armaan texted me to ask if I was planning on joining for dinner. In no mood, I replied saying I'm going to pass dinner. We did just have a late lunch only 2 hours ago.
I did not own many things so packing my clothes in one big suitcase and some other belongings such as gifts and gaming system in two different boxes did not take longer than an hour.
With the half empty bottle in my hand, I walked over to sit by the window, cracking it open for fresh air. I hadn't even landed in Mumbai or seen my parents yet and I am already in this state. I'll be seeing them when I do after almost 5 years.
Yes, that's how busy they are. They don't even have the time to check on their only son. They'll only call when they get a notification of a big dent on their credit card which I might have used. Birthdays? A quick text message somewhere in the middle of the afternoon - after everyone has already wished me.
Really, why are they even parents? They forget that a child while growing up does not just need the latest clothes, electronics, games, etc. He needs their love and time as well.
Swinging the rest of the liquid in one huge gulp, my eyes stop at the guitar hanging off my wall. I hadn't played in months. Lately, I'd only been play when my head was too messed up and right now, I say it's a fucking tsunami in here.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
As I was playing a tune I'd created with some help from Armaan years ago, when he wasn't yet famous, my phone beeped. I paused to take it out of my pocket to see Kripa's message.
Kripa: You're good.
Narrowing my eyes, I looked out the window towards Khushi's room as the windows in our rooms faced each other's. When I didn't see her, I look down. She waved up at me, her phone in her hand. I pushed open the window further so I could answer instead of having to text back. "What are you still doing here?"
She should have been back at her hotel by now.
"Decided to stay the night." She answered in a normal voice, not having to yell for it was quiet outside. "Are you going to invite me up?"
"No." I answered bluntly, and her jaw dropped in offense. I chuckled at the cute expression, "The door's open." She didn't need an invitation, did she?
She threw me a glare for teasing before she walked around the two houses to get to the back entrance of the house. A minute later, she was at my doorway, walking in and looking around the bare minimum in the room. "Your place is nothing like I imagined."
I let guitar lean against the wall, "And what did you imagine?"
She carelessly shrugged her shoulder before relaying the cliché, "You know, mess everything. Nothing in its place." She then noticed the boxes in the corner and nodded towards them, "Do you live out of boxes or something?"
"Uh, no. I'm actually leaving tomorrow to meet my parents."
She nodded as if in understanding, "Ah, hence the empty home. Are you selling the house?"
I simple shook my head, not telling her that even if I wasn't leaving, it would still be an empty home. Well... a house. This place never felt like home when I was the only one who lived here.
She sat at the only place available in the room, on the bed. "So, what were you playing on there? I don't think I recognized it."
"Something of my own."
Her eyes widened in surprise, "Serious?" When I nodded, she smiled, complimenting. "That was superb then, for an original."
"Eh, it's nothing."
She didn't play into insecurities and instead questioned, "Is it just a tune or do you have words for it?"
"Just a tune. Accidental hobby. I don't write music or anything."
She suggested. "Fair enough, though if you tried, I think you could."
I smiled at her sweet words. "Thanks." I recalled earlier in the evening when I wasn't the nicest to her. "About earlier, sorry. I wasn't in a good mood."
Dismissing it easily, saying she wasn't holding a grudge, she pointed out. "Given you're still drinking, I take it you're still not in a good mood?"
"It's normal for me." I offered the information. Why? I don't know. "Smoking. That is when I am in a bad mood. And music... that's when all else fails."
I get up from the window seat and lock it up. "Anyway, want to get out of here?"
She looked at me as if trying to understand why. But how could I possibly tell her? Just her sitting on my bed... In my time whenever I've stayed in Shimla, I must have brought many girls home and this is not a place where I want Kripa to be.
"Where would we go?" She questioned standing up.
"Does it matter?"
She got the point and seeing she was agreeing, I walked out of the room with her following. My last night here... I was planning on spending it alone. Then, why was I letting Kripa stay instead of just telling her to go back to Khushi's place?
I told myself it'll be the one last chance to spend some time with her.
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
As we walk the streets aimlessly, she asked. "So, Angad Khanna, other than being a typical bad boy who is also a good listener, what else do you do?"
I smirked for a typical bad boy? She did get that to the T. "Nothing; booze and girls. My life is pretty shallow."
She turned her head sideways, arguing. "I don't believe that."
I challenged, "Then what do you think I do?"
"I know you are a wonderful friend to Khushi and Riddhima." She pointed out. "That one time you flew all the way to Australia just to apologize to Ridzzi. So, I know there is more to you."
I smiled trying to hide my sadness and sticking to my earlier claim. "No, Kripa. There is nothing more. Those three are my only friends so yeah, I go to lengths for them but that is where the goodness in me ends."
She continued to not believe me, "Why are you trying to get me to believe you're not a good person? You were nothing like this in Goa."
I replied gingerly, "Sweetheart, that was a vacation. People always pretend to be something they are not. This is reality." She took the bottle of beer from my hand and I warned at once, "Don't you dare throw that out."
She scoffed over the fact that I thought that, but can you blame me? She took away my cigarettes. But then, she surprises me by having a sip. She defended catching my expression. "What? Am I not allowed to drink?"
"I didn't think you drank."
She rolled her eyes for I just assumed that. "Yeah, well, I promised Khushi I wouldn't drink unless it was a cause of celebration but all your sadness is rubbing off on me."
I inhaled quietly, scolding myself for bringing her down. She forwarded the bottle to me and without a word, I took a sip.
As she took it back, she pointed a finger to warn, "Don't tell Arnav."
"I'm not tattle-tale."
. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .
When she got tired of walking, she walked over to a boulder nearby and leaned on it. With some alcohol in her, she wasn't drunk, but she was buzzed and talked a little about Aaron. Mostly, just that she missed him. It had been four months since Goa and I imagine roughly that since her breakup with him.
She turned a question to me, "What about you? Ever been in a relationship?"
"Never more than a night."
Her lips turned down in a frown and asking as if genuinely wanting to know, "Doesn't it get boring?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Works for me."
She stood up, wobbling a little on her feet. I reached for her elbow, so she won't stumble and hurt herself. Her hands came to my arms too to steady herself. "Kiss me."
My brows narrowed at the sudden request. Well, more like she said it in a demanding tone. With her tiny frame, I wondered if she was drunk though she hadn't been slurring. I moved my hands off her elbows. I replied bluntly, "No."
"Why not? You don't find me attractive?"
I breathed out a defeated sigh, understanding her emotions were down and she was doubting herself. I cupped her cheek to comfort her, "Anyone will agree you're beautiful." She looked up at me feeing hopeful and leaned in. I leaned back, repeating the word from seconds ago. "No, Kripa."
She scoffed and pulled away from my palm on her cheek. "Fuck you."
I closed my eyes for a second to bite back the guilt of making her mad when she was already hurting. She turned to leave but I grabbed her elbow and tugged. Her back crashes into my torso. She tried to fight it but I kept my hold firm, other hand coming to her shoulder to keep her there.
I leaned in to calmly speak in her ear in hopes to calm her down too. "Kripa, you are fucking perfection, okay? But, you are Khushi's friend. Anyone who is friends with my friends is off limits and I don't cross that line. I know you're hurting and you miss him but what you just asked me is not the answer."
She spoke in a quiet voice, vulnerable. "I just want to forget."
I exhaled deeply for it affects me for some reason seeing her in pain. I moved my hand on her elbow to around her front and the one on the shoulder to around her chest, holding her in a back hug. "I know you do, Kripa. But this is not the way. Not healthy, anyway. Trust me."
I'd gotten addicted to one nights and drinking to forget the reality of my life and I could say without a doubt... it wasn't a life she should fall into. There was a bright future for her. When she asked me to kiss her, as much as a deep part of me would have wanted to give in, I knew I would never pull her into this darkness surrounding me.
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| . . . A U T H O R - N O T E . . . |
Entirely new chapter! And I did not deliberately plan it this way... Book 1, Chapter 18 was from Kripa's POV and it was after I had written and then started chapter-ing it that I realized in this book as well, it was coming out as Angad's POV.
Though I realize Angad's POV is not majorly focused on Arnav-Khushi as Kripa's POV did, this is still important to include - you shall see later.
Let me know your thoughts! Comment & Vote <3