Demi
Wilmer stared up at me with a shocked expression. "Demi... What?"
"I'm pregnant." I stated, staring into his face. "We're having a baby, Wilmer."
He stared at my stomach and as the moments ticked by the cold feeling of dread sunk over me. It crushed through any hope I had of us having a normal life, a quiet life of growing old together and spending the rest of our lives together.
"This doesn't change anything, does it?" I whispered. "You still want to go back?"
Wilmer's eyes didn't meet mine. "It is my duty to my country."
I stepped back from him, his hand falling from my belly to the bed. He finally looked up at me and I shook my head. I couldn't do anything but stand there. I couldn't find the words to say to him. I couldn't convey to him how disappointed I was.
"I wish I never married you." I breathed, and his eyes widened. "You don't know how disappointed in you I am... not just as a husband, I could deal with that. As a man, as a soon-to-be-father..." I clenched my jaw. "As a marine. I couldn't be more disappointed, and I wish I never married you."
Wilmer swallowed hard, his eyes tortured. "Demi..."
"They won't let you go back." I shook my head. "The first time, yes, but this time? You're hurt too bad. You won't ever be able to go back, not like how you want to. But now you've lost me too. You're hurt too bad to go back there, and you hurt me too bad for me to take you back here."
"Demi-"
"No." I softly interrupted. "No, Wilmer. I can't keep doing this. This can't be my life."
"We've made it work before."
"This isn't like before." I was halfway to the door now. "This is... This is unforgivable."
"Demi... Come on, you love me."
I just looked at him sadly. "I always thought that love would be enough. That because I love you with everything I have that we would be alright. That as long as we loved each other more than anything it would work out." I pressed my lips together and shook my head. "But that logic... it doesn't work when one person doesn't love the other more than anything. It doesn't work because I love you more than you'll ever love me. You're married to your job, Wilmer, not me. You're more committed to your country than your wife and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I can't stick around to check. I can't stay in that house, waiting. All I've done our entire relationship is wait. I've waited for you through four deployments, Wilmer. Two of them you barely came back from. I've waited to have kids, to start a family, and now you don't want either of us."
"I do want you! I want to have a family!"
"But you want to be a marine more." I said, shrugging my shoulders sadly. "And you can be that, you can be the martyr marine. But if you want to be that, you can't be with me. You can't be the world's hero and my hero at the same time."
"Please don't leave, Demi. Please... I need you."
I shook my head and turned my back on him, walking towards the door. "If you really needed me... you wouldn't hesitate."
I walked out of the room and out of the ICU, back through the hospital and through the hoarding photographers, this time not sparing any of them even a glance. I got in my car and drove, not heading in any particular direction. I couldn't go back to that house, there were too many memories, too much pain.
Eventually I decided to crash at Marissa's, calling on my way there.
"Demi? I was just about to call you! I saw the news, how's Wilmer?"
"He's in the ICU, but he'll be fine." I swallowed hard and looked out. "I left him, Marissa."
"What?" She gasped. "What happened?"
"I'm around the corner, can I tell you when I get to your house?"
"Of course." She answered immediately.
I hung up and sped to Marissa's house, parking in the street and walking up to her townhouse. Before I could even knock she opened the door, holding her arms out to hug me. It was then she felt my bump.
"Demi... Oh my God!"
I put my hand on my stomach and sobbed once. "I know."
"Babe why are you crying? This is amazing! Come inside!"
"No." I scrubbed my cheeks with the heel of my hand as we walked into her living room. "No Riss... Wilmer knows, and he's still trying to go back."
"You can't be serious. He can't be that much of an idiot."
I laughed humorlessly. "That's what I thought... and now I'm a single mother."
"Demi... He's not thinking straight. He just woke up from the surgery... He'll change his mind."
"Marissa I'm not sure that even if he did I would take him back." It hurt just saying that. "He's going to resent either me or our baby for this, and I don't want that. I shouldn't have to give him an ultimatum, I shouldn't even have to ask him to stay, let alone beg him on my knees to be a father to his child."
"You're right." She said, taking my hand. "You're absolutely right Demi... but I think you need some time to think through things before you do anything drastic, like have divorce papers made up. Wilmer's clearly not thinking straight, and he has a lot of issues of his own that he needs to work through. Don't give up on him yet."
"You think I want to?" I fell onto the couch and shook my head. "He was supposed to be my forever. I mean he's Wilmer for christ's sake, I've been in love with him since the day I met him!"
"I just... I don't understand." She confessed. "You two were inseparable in college. If anyone was going to make it, it would be you two."
"I know. I thought we would too." I wiped my eyes and shook my head. "But he wants to go overseas and risk his life even though we're having a baby. I thought... I thought that would change his mind. If I wasn't enough, maybe a baby would be. But it isn't. It's never going to be enough for him."
"Demi, I think he just needs time to work through things. They're not going to let him back overseas after this. He'll probably still end up working for the military, but I don't think they'll let him go back over there. He's been injured too many times. They have other bodies to fill his spot."
"That's not the point." I said, shaking my head. "The point is that if he could, he would. When we got married he made promises to me... Promises he has yet to keep. He wanted to do the military, so I put off having a family I put off what I wanted so he could do what he wanted. But now... Now it's like it doesn't even matter what I want, or what I think. All that matters is that he needs to get rid of this guilt he feels for what he did over there."
"Then stay away until he's come to terms with that guilt. It may take months, or years, but eventually he'll realize what an idiot he's being."
"I'm not just going to wait around for him to come to his senses. I can't have his baby and wait for him to decide that he wants me again. To decide that he wants a family. From now on... I decide. And I've decided I'm not going to wait anymore. I'm not waiting for anyone."
~*~
Marissa stayed at my house for a few weeks.
It helped more than I thought it would. I had missed my best friend, but once we were together it was like no time had passed at all. Marissa was able to take my mind off of the anxieties that came from Wilmer being in the hospital. He was still under round-the-clock care- I got regular updates from the nurses, but he would be able to go back home soon.
It didn't surprise me when I saw Wilmer's caller ID on my phone, but I did hesitate answering it. I didn't know what he wanted, and I certainly didn't want to ruin my day by having a conversation with him.
"Hello?"
"Demi?" His voice was low and rough.
"What do you want, Wilmer?"
"I know..." He cut off to cough quickly. "I know you don't want to talk to me... But I need to ask you for a favor."
"What?" I sighed, annoyed as he danced around the question.
"I need a ride back to the house in Pennsylvania... I'm not allowed to drive yet... I know it's a dic move to ask you but... I don't have anybody else."
I bit my lip and sighed. "Fine. When do you need to go?"
"Tomorrow... around eight at night? I have my last doctor's clearance at seven."
I bit my lip and nodded once to myself. "I'll be there."
"Thank you so much Demi. "
"This doesn't change anything. Goodbye, Wilmer."
I hung up before he could talk again, tossing my phone on the couch and rubbing my face with a loud groan.
"Woah!" Marissa laughed as she walked in the room. "What happened?"
"Wilmer called." I mumbled, keeping my hands over my face. "He asked me to drive him back to our house because he gets out of the hospital tomorrow and he's not cleared to drive yet."
"You said yes?"
"Yeah." I looked over at her. "Bad decision?"
"I don't know." She bit her lip and sighed. "He's always had this hold over you... none of us understood it when you guys first started dating. It was like the connection you two had was inhuman. It was intense... Like you'd both die for each other without a second's thought. Whenever you guys fought you always forgave each other, and the cycle kept going until eventually one of you had enough and you ended up taking a break for a few weeks. I just don't want you to give into him. I've known Wilmer for just as long as you, and I know he's going to try and get you to forgive him."
"I don't know if it's a matter of me forgiving him." I murmured, staring out of the window. "There's nothing he can say. He wants to go back, and he'll end up finding a way."
"I guess." She bit her lip. "But we'll find out, won't we?"
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-Rachel