"So you just left. Just like that?" Keana asks as she cooks her best friend some breakfast.
"It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, Ke, but we need a break. She needs a chance to get her life together and find who she used to be. If I stayed in that apartment with Camila, well with the person she's become, I'm worried it would have only led to a divorce."
"I understand." Keana nods her head as she transfers the scrambled eggs from the pan to a plate and then sets the plate in front of Lauren. "So when are you going back to Miami?"
"I'm not." Lauren answers immediately. "I would never dream of leaving her in this city alone. I want to be here in case-"
"Something happens to her." Keana finishes her sentence.
"Yeah. I have to be here in case she needs me." Just as those words leave the brunette's mouth, her phone rings and she looks down to see Camila's picture on her screen. She sighs and sends the call to voicemail.
"That's her needing you, Laur." Keana nods her head in the direction of the phone.
"No, it's her wanting to beg for my forgiveness and apologize for things she's not willing to change about herself. If she really needed me, like emergency wise, I know she'd try to get in contact with you or Dinah, and then one of you would get in contact with me." Lauren says as she picks up her fork and transfers some eggs from the plate in front of her to her mouth.
"In that case, you know you are welcome to stay here as long as you want and I won't tell her you are here." Keana says and Lauren nods as she swallows the mouthful of eggs.
"Thanks, Ke. I'll pay rent I swear." Lauren picks up her orange juice and takes a sip of it.
"Don't bother" Keana waves her hand dismissively. "My roommate is studying abroad and she is paying half the rent. I just won't tell her you are living here."
The mention of studying abroad makes Lauren's heart sink. That's how she met Camila, the girl she thought she would never in a million years walk out on.
The girl she thought she would never in a million years catch doing drugs.
Lauren doesn't notice that Keana had taken a seat beside her until she feels an arm wrap around her shoulders.
"It's going to be okay, Lo. You two will get through this." Keana promises as she guides Lauren's head to her shoulder and places a quick kiss to the top of it.
"I hope so. I can't live without her." Lauren allows a sob to escape her lips and Keana just pulls her closer. She hates seeing her friend this broken.
Speaking of broken, Camila cannot seem to feel anything but complete and utter brokenness. When Lauren left, she laid on the floor of their apartment in a fetal position until the sun came up the next day. It was when the sunlight peaked through the blinds that she finally pulled herself up off the floor. However, she just moved to her bed and she didn't leave it for a solid week. This past week has been the worst one of her life. She has not heard from Lauren and every single time she tries to call, she is sent straight to voicemail. She hasn't eaten and she's pretty sure her body is dehydrated from crying as much as she has.
Currently, it's Friday, exactly a week since Lauren left her, and Camila is scouring through her purse in search of the drugs that caused Lauren to leave her in the first place. When her hands find the small vial of white powder, she immediately pulls it from her bag and empties all the contents into the toilet. Once the toilet is flushed, she keeps digging until her hands find the orange bottle containing a dozen or so blue Adderall pills. Deciding that she may need them in the future sometime to help her focus, she puts them up in her medicine cabinet instead of getting rid of them.
Once all the drugs are dealt with, she picks up her phone again and dials Lauren's number. Three rings and then she hears Lauren's voicemail. Truth be told, she keeps calling so she can listen to it. She remembers when she forced Lauren to make it. A small smile makes it's way to her face when she hears it again.
Camila: You have reached Lauren's phone, but she is busy right now.
Lauren: I'm actually not busy, I'm right here, wondering why on Earth I handed my phone to you in the first place.
Camila: You handed it to me because you love me and you trust me to give you a better voicemail than 'please leave your name and number after the beep.'
Lauren: I do love you.
Camila: Anyways, there you have it people. Lauren can't come to the phone because she's too busy loving me. Not in the sexual type way of course. I mean loving me with her heart not her hands-
Lauren: Actually, we're having sex so call back later!
Camila: LAUREN!
Beep.
When the brunette hears the beep, she ends the phone call and lets out a laugh that quickly turns into a sob. She cries until she physically cannot seem to produce anymore tears and then she drags herself from the bathroom to her bed. Camila has decided that she likes sleeping better than real life because for once in her life, her dreams are better than real life. When she had Lauren it was always the other way around, but now that the green-eyed girl has left her, the only time she gets to see her is in her dreams.
The only time she is happy now is in her dreams.
A couple of hours later she is awoken by the ringing of her phone. She blindly grabs it and answers it without looking at the caller ID.
"Lauren?" She rasps out, her voice laced with hope.
"Not Lauren, sweetie. It's Eric." Camila visibly deflates. "I know you are going through a rough time, but I just wanted to remind you that you have the concert tomorrow night. I expect you to be there and I expect you to be pulled together."
"I'll be there." Camila informs him and then ends the phone call. His voice pisses her off more than anything. He is the reason she is even in this mess with Lauren.
She glances at the clock and realizes that it's 9 pm so she decides to just go to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow she has to be Camila Cabello ,the pop-star who is in love with music and her career. She can't be Camila Cabello-Jauregui, the girl who just lost the love of her life.
The next day is a whirlwind for Camila, she wakes up, gets dressed for the first time in a week, and heads to the Troubadour, the nightclub in LA, to rehearse for her gig tonight.
She sits down and makes out her setlist. She knows she wants to play her old songs that were on her first album, but she also talked Eric into letting her play her new ones too. When she's finished typing the setlist, she prints it and tapes it on the stage for tonight.
1. Everything Has Changed
2. She Is Love
3. Love Incredible
4. How Would You Feel
5. Havana (New)
6. OMG (New)
7. Say You Won't Let Go
8. Close To You (New)
Havana and OMG are two of Camila's newest tracks. She recorded them a couple of weeks ago when she decided to start working on her second album. The last one, Close To You, is a song she wrote the day after Lauren left. She hasn't played it for Eric or anyone else, but it's her concert and she's going to fucking sing it and they will get over it.
Meanwhile, Lauren and Keana are out having dinner at one of their favorite Chinese restaurants downtown.
"Are you going to go?" Keana finally speaks up, breaking the silence that has lingered between the two of them all night.
"Hmm?" Lauren finally looks up from the table and meets her friend's worried gaze.
"I know you know what I'm talking about." Keana presses.
Lauren lets out a heavy sigh. "If I see her the walls I've built up will crumble."
"And that's a bad thing why?" Keana leans her elbows on the table.
"Because we need time, Ke. She needs time to get better and find herself. If I just go running back into her arms like nothing happened, I'm worried nothing will be solved between us." Lauren rubs her finger over the band on her left hand.
"But you're miserable and you miss her." Keana points out. "How about this, how about I go with you and we just stand in the very back, and I make sure you don't do anything stupid like run on stage or try to go backstage to see her? She doesn't have to know you were there, but I think it'll make you feel better if you get to see that she alive and okay."
Lauren checks her watch to see that it's 6:00 pm and she knows the show starts at 7. Deciding that Keana is right, she quickly digs in her wallet and slaps a 20 dollar bill on the table.
"That's my girl." Keana beams as she slides out of the booth and follows Lauren out of the restaurant. They call an Uber and an hour later, they are standing in front of the concert venue.
"So you already had the tickets purchased?" Keana quirks an eyebrow when Lauren retrieves the two tickets from her jacket pocket.
"I bought them the minute they went onsale. I just didn't know if I had the courage to actually come to the show." The green-eyed girl confesses and Keana just nods. Once inside, they find a spot in the very back corner of the room close to the door. Since it's general admission, they are able to stand wherever they want. When they get situated, the lights go off and the crowd goes crazy.
"Hello LA." Lauren hears her favorite husky voice echo through the room and her heart immediately starts hammering in her chest. "I must say, you are looking rather beautiful tonight." Camila is wearing ripped skinny jeans and a yellow and purple Lakers jersey that is so big on her that it reaches to her knees. She's also wearing some purple and yellow Nike High Top shoes to match her jersey and Lauren cannot take her eyes off her.
"Fuck your girl looks like a full course meal up there." Keana whispers to Lauren. The green-eyed girl turns to her and raises an eyebrow at her friend. Keana just raises her hands in surrender. "What? It's not like you weren't thinking it."
Before Lauren can reply, Camila's voice fills her ears and she turns back toward the stage.
Her eyes do not leave Camila for one second. Lauren is absolutely mesmerized the entire concert. Camila is so good with the crowd and her voice sounds amazing. Before Lauren knows it, it's the end of the concert and Camila is thanking the crowd for coming.
"LA, thank you so much for hanging with me tonight." Camila's voice breaks Lauren from her thoughts and the older brunette frowns when she realizes the concert is about to come to a close. "I have just one more song for you before I leave. I wrote it a couple of days ago and no one has heard it. Not even my manager." She chuckles as she pulls up a stool and grabs her acoustic guitar. "It's a song that means a whole lot to me. I hope that it'll mean a whole lot to you too. It's called Close To You."
Nothing but a tear, that's all for breakfast
Watching you pretend you're unaffected
You're pulling our connections, expecting me to let you go
But I won't
No you don't need my protection
But I'm in love, can't blame me for checking
I love in your direction, hoping that the message goes
Somewhere close to you
Close to you
Like so close if they heard you, you wouldn't find out
Just say now, I'm coming right now, to be close to you
Said you let it go, you kept it
Working hard to perfect it
Now your fear is reckless, and it's out of your control
Would you let it go?
No you don't need my protection
But I'm in love, can't blame me for checking
I love in your direction, hoping that the message goes
Somewhere close to you
Close to you
Like so close if they heard you, you wouldn't find out
If you let me, I'd be there by now
Close to you
Camila strums the last chord on her guitar and looks out into the audience. As soon as she does, everyone claps loudly and cheers. She just smiles and blows them kiss after kiss before setting her guitar down by her stool. As her eyes are scanning the audience, she sees a brunette leaving the building, a brunette that looks almost identical to Lauren from behind. However, once the door to the club shuts, she just shrugs and blows one last kiss to the audience before exiting the stage.
It couldn't have been her. She wouldn't of come to my concert. Camila thinks as she high fives everyone backstage. It wasn't Lauren. There's no way it was Lauren. Right?
Camila spends the rest of the night trying to convince herself it was not her wife in the back of the audience at her show tonight.
Lauren, however, spends the rest of the night trying to convince herself that she did the right thing by letting Keana drag her out of the concert venue tonight before she could say anything to Camila after her set.
But they both spend all night, wide awake in their beds, thinking of the other.