As their conversation had progressed, Sky had tried to brace herself for this part, but nothing had prepared her for the way she would feel once the words were out of her mouth. It had been easy to listen to Knox's stories and forget about what would happen once morning came. But now it was final. The words were out there and she couldn't take them back.
"What do you mean?" he asked. He pulled away. He searched her eyes, a slight frown creasing his forehead.
"I mean, it has been the best week..." she said.
"I agree," he said, jumping on her words. "It's been amazing. You make me laugh and all I want is to spend more time with you. It doesn't matter what we do, its just fun being around you."
"You make me laugh too," she admitted.
"So lets keep it going. I know it can feel overwhelming but..."
"Knox, we need to be realistic."
"Realistic?" he questioned. She could tell his mind was racing, trying to catch up to where hers had landed hours before.
"Realistic is I really like you," he said. He took both of her hands. "This doesn't have to be goodbye."
She smiled. A part of her wanted to just agree with him. He was an international pop star who could make almost anything happen. But then she remembered the concert and her reasons came flooding back, clear as day.
"Knox, where will you be in a month?" she asked. She could see the question caught him off guard.
"I..." he started to say but stopped. She watched as he struggled to produce an answer and it only solidified her reasoning. "I don't know," he finally admitted. His face dropped.
"Don't be sad," she said with a genuine smile. "This was the best cruise I have ever worked. I can't even begin to tell you how much fun I had with you. In Mexico and playing Sardines. And this morning, and all the other times. They will be great memories."
"And we can make more."
"Knox, in the next two weeks I'll have cell service for a total of twenty-four hours, most of which I will be working," she said. "And you're going to be in a different city every other night. How is this suppose to work?"
Knox stood, running his hands through his hair. "But I can make sure I am free during that time."
"So we can talk for a few minutes? Before I have to get back to work or you have to get to an interview?"
He turned to face her, his expression showing he wasn't willing to give up yet. She stood and slowly moved towards him. "I had the best time with you. Lets just let it be that," she said.
He gave her a pained look and she had to turn away.
"If we try to drag this out, one or both of us are going to become a burden to the other person," she said.
"I could never see you that way," he protested.
"But it will happen," she said. She turned back to face him. "You'll feel bad that you are too busy to call. I'll feel bad for constantly missing your calls. We'll both feel guilty for cutting our phone conversations short when we have so much to say. Eventually, after two months of short conversations and missed calls, this will just be that thing we feel guilty for dropping because life was too busy." She could tell her words were getting through to him.
"This cruise allowed you to take a break from your busy schedule and I'm just happy I got to get a little of your time," she said.
He walked towards her and pulled her into his arms. She took a deep breath in, trying to hold on to the feeling of his arms around her and the way he smelled, memories she could store away.
"You're right," he said quietly. She looked up and gave him a small smile. "I guess we were lucky to be in the right place at the right time."
"And now we'll have some great memories," she said.
"I wish it didn't have to be like this."
"Me too."
They remained silent, holding on to each other, as the sky started to brighten.
"Look," she said. She unwrapped her arms from around him and pulled him to the railing. They were silent as they watched the sky turn from a pale yellow to a bright orange, the colors reflected in the water.
"You were right," he said. "This is the best place to watch the sunrise."
"Thanks for watching it with me."
"Thanks for inviting me."
Sky could feel so much hanging in the air as they both realized this was the end. There was so much she felt like she could say but she wasn't sure how to put it into words. Or if she even wanted to. Standing there with him, watching the sun rise, seemed like a good end to their week.
"What time is it?" he asked.
She glanced down at her watch. "Almost six-thirty. When do you have to leave?"
"Seven. I should get back. Calvin will be at my room in a little bit."
She tried to ignore the knot in her stomach as she started walking back into the ship. She felt a tug as he pulled her back. He cupped her face and gave her a smile. Her hands came to rest around his waist.
"I'd rather say goodbye here," he said.
She understood what he meant. She stood on her tiptoes, reaching up to meet his lips, soft and warm when they meant hers. The knot in her stomach was replaced with a warm, weightless feeling that moved up into her chest.
She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight, knowing that once she let go, it would be goodbye. She could feel her heartbeat quickening and she felt breathless as his grasp on her softened. The kiss slowed. He held her out so he could look at her, and she felt dizzy, trying to catch her breath. He kissed her again before he wrapped her in his arms.
Knox let Sky lead him back inside, their arms still linked around each other. He couldn't stop himself from stealing a few more kisses on the elevator but the air was somber as they walked down the hall to his room.
He still wasn't sure how he felt about everything even though he knew she was right. The next six months of his life were going to be hectic with tour. She deserved better then playing second fiddle to his schedule.
But as much as he understood, he still wanted to fight it and find a way to keep her in his life. He wanted to be selfish and ask her to understand. But it wouldn't be fair and he couldn't ask her to.
She was energizing and dynamic and made him live differently then he usually did. He had lived so much of the past four years on a strict schedule, it had been freeing to let her pull him into her world of living an unplanned life.
They stopped when they reached his door but he wasn't sure how to say goodbye when he wanted to hold on.
"Next time I'm at the grocery store I'll pick up that magazine with the twenty-five facts about Knox Hamilton," she said. "I can always learn something more."
He could tell she was trying to lighten the mood and was grateful for her attempt. "Too bad they don't have a Sky Bennett version," he said.
"That would be surprising and creepy if they did," she said. The hall was filled with their quiet laughs and he was happy this was their goodbye. Her jokes and sarcasm had caught his attention and now that was how she would leave him.
"Well, if you ever find yourself at a Knox Hamilton concert let me know," he said. "I know a guy. I could probably get you a backstage pass and maybe, a signature."
"I don't need a signature, I got your room bill you signed," she said. "I plan on selling it on eBay for thousands of dollars."
"Well, at least you'll get something from hanging out with me," he joked.
She grew serious. "This week has been better then any amount of money I would make off of your signature," she smiled. She was moving in closer when the door to his room opened. Calvin stuck his head out.
"There you are. I have been waiting for. Where have you been?" he asked. He was completely unaware of the situation he had interrupted.
"Hello Calvin," Knox said. He gave him a tight smile. Sky had taken a step back and was looking back down the hall, like she was ready to leave.
"I told you he was fine," Marcos called out from somewhere in the room.
"I should be going," Sky said.
Calvin seemed to realize she was there for the first time. "Oh, hello," he said.
"Bye Knox," she said. She gave his hand a small squeeze before she turned and walked away.
"You need to move, we need to be down in the main lobby in ten minutes," Calvin said, walking back into the room.
Knox ignored his words as he watched Sky walk away. He smiled when she reached the elevator and turned back. She waved as she got on and disappeared as the doors closed.
He walked slowly back into his room, the exhaustion, he had been pushing away when he was with her, coming back quickly.
"Where did you disappear to?" Marcos asked.
"Oh you know," he said. He walked into his room without giving any more information. He quickly changed and grabbed all his things. His phone had remained off and on the side table for the extent of the cruise and he grabbed it as he left the room, turning it on.
It was still buzzing with incoming texts and emails five minutes later as he stepped off the elevator and into the main lobby. He followed Calvin and Marcos towards the customer service desk. He sank into the closest chair. He looked around the mostly empty lobby at the few passengers who were gathered on some chairs.
The lobby was suddenly filled with voices as a large group of employees exited the offices behind the customer service desk. Knox didn't bother looking, his eyes closed, his chin resting on his chest.
"Knox," Marcos whispered. He stirred, lifting his head to look at Marcos. "Look."
Marcos pointed to the group of employees who were in the lobby across from them. Knox studied the group and realized he knew most of them. He could see Anders, Nico and Cara. He stopped when he saw Sky. He watched as she listened to something Anders was saying and then joined in as everybody laughed.
"Last chance to say goodbye," Marcos said. He gently nudged Knox in the arm.
Knox smiled but stayed where he was, watching. He smiled when she playfully punched Anders in the arm and he pretended it hurt. She flung her arms in the air, clearly telling a story.
The more he watched her interact with the group, the more he realized that she had been right. She had a life here on the ship and he had a life touring. The two didn't work together. Saying goodbye made sure he had nothing but great memories of her.
"You better hurry," Marcos said, as the group started to move down a side hallway.
"Its okay," he said. He stood as Calvin signaled to him. "I already said goodbye."
Now that they were almost off the boat, Knox was eager to get to the airport. Eager to be back in LA. He had a limited amount of time before the tour started with a large list of things he needed to accomplish. He was ready to get back to reality.
"They are just grabbing someone to escort us off the boat," Calvin explained as he joined Marcos and Knox. "A car will be waiting to take us directly to airport."
"Great," Knox said. A few more groups of people had entered the lobby. He wanted to make sure they left before they caused any trouble.
"I'm here to escort you off the ship," a cheerful voice said. He turned to see Jules behind them with a bright smile on her face.
"Great. We'll follow you," Calvin said.
"Hey Knox," she said as he walked beside her.
"Hey, thanks for doing this," he said.
"Happy to help," she said.
They returned to silence as she led them down stairs and down a hallway to the ramps that connected with the port. She led them to the luggage pick up and helped them locate their bags.
"Have a great day and thanks for cruising with Bali Cruise Lines!" she said after she was finished helping them. Marcos and Calvin said quick goodbyes as they left but Knox paused as he passed her.
"Thanks for everything," he said. He hoped she understood what he meant.
"Trust me, everyone was happy to have you around, so thank you," she said.
He smiled. He was turning away when her small hand stopped him. He gave her a questioning look.
"Because I know Sky wouldn't give you her number," she said. She placed a piece of paper into his hand. "And if she doesn't answer, here is mine." She placed a second piece of paper into Knox's hand with a wink. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before she bounced away. He looked down at the pieces of paper in his hand and smiled.
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