Blond haired guy happened to be really cool and we had a lot in common. His name is Tory. He just so happened to be related to Zane. No resemblance whatsoever. You may take my word for it. Ok well his confidence was definitely a Zane quality. Other than that, I immediately thought he was joking when he was cousins with Zane.
“No way,” said Tory.
“I’m not even kidding. My first day at school and Zane already started hitting on me."
“That kid has no shame.”
“I think its kind-of cute. I like confident men.”
“And I like confident women,” said Tory.
Was I supposed to be the woman? Pshh…as if. I tipped back the final drops of my third beer.
“Well that’s it for me,” I said, finally standing. I stumbled to the side slightly and Tory caught me. “Thanks,” I said, embarrassed.
“Do you want me to call you a cab?” he asked.
“No, I’m walking. I still have a few more places to check out.”
“Mind if I come with?”
We’d been sitting at the bar talking for over two hours and now he wanted to spend more time with me?
“I could use a companion,” I said, agreeing. We left the club together and I determined where we’d go next. “You in the mood for Chinese?”
“Only if you’re buying,” said Tory, repeating the very same words I said to him when he asked if I wanted a drink.
I chuckled. “Cute.”
“Just kidding. I don’t mind paying.”
“No, I insist,” I slurred. “My treat.”
“Well if you insist.”
“Have you no shame? You already gave in? You could’ve at least added another ‘no that’s ok’. Cheapskate,” I said jokingly.
“Who am I to turn down free food?”
I smiled. That sounded like something I would say. We entered a nearby Chinese restaurant and ordered. Sitting at the table I studied Tory a little closer. He had this cute boy band look going for him even though he was well over the age of N’ Sync when they were still together. His eyes weren’t that scary, bright blue I was so used to seeing all the time. His were more muted and pale but still vibrant. The beauty of young people! Tory was pretty skinny for a man. Sure his arms were slightly muscular but he had a better figure than I did. If you were to put us side by side, I’d say I look more like the dude with my muscular arms and toned legs..
His lips were a little pouty and pink. Not too girly but not too man-ish either. At least one guy has heard of Chapstick. He was at least five inches taller than me and his voice had a low tenor tone to it. Tory was pretty much all around hot.
“Are you checking me out?” asked Tory, noticing my intense stare.
“No,” I sputtered, looking away.
“It’s ok. I was doing the same to you,” he said.
Loving the honesty right now, I thought.
A waitress brought over our food and within five minutes I wolfed mine down. That’s the way to look like a lady. (I’m being facetious of course.) I noticed Tory stifling a giggle and shot him a questioning look.
“You’ve got a little something right here,” he said, pointing to the side of his mouth.
“Here?” I asked, wiping at my face.
“No, to the left a little.”
“What about now?”
Tory sighed. “I’ll get it.”
He came around and sat in the booth next to me. He used my napkin to clear away the food from my face. I was sure I turned bright red. Tory stared at my lips, continuing to wipe although the food was gone. Rather than waiting for the oh so cliché kiss that was bound to happen, I closed the distance between us and kissed him. He grinned like a little kid caught with his hands in the cookie jar when I pulled away.
“I wanted to get the awkward part out of the way,” I said.
“I think the awkward part is going to be when I walk you home.”
“Who says you’re walking me home?”
“I say.”
“And what qualifies you to make those decisions?”
“My major is taking drunk girls home safely,” he said with an adorable smile.
After that convincing argument I agreed to let Tory walk me home. I even let him hold my hand. It felt like I was back with Michael, taking the long way back to my house after school just so we could spend more time together. But, even in my drunken state, I knew perfectly well that Michael was dead and I no longer had a real home. Walking up to my apartment building, an ominous feeling hung in the air. For the first time since we left the restaurant, I looked around, searching for what was making me feel so uneasy.
Leaning against a motorcycle—my motorcycle—was Carter. He took one look at Tory and me and shook his head. Tossing the keys to my motorcycle to me, he turned and went inside without a word. I felt like I should’ve gone after him but I didn’t.
“Wasn’t that Carter?” asked Tory.
“It sure was,” I said, feeling a little guilty.
“Are you guys friends?”
“Not really,” I admitted. I turned to Tory and forced a smile. “Thanks for walking me home. I’ll be alright from here.”
“Are you sure?”
“If you’re worried, you can walk me inside too.”
“I’m super worried,” he said with a smile.
Yeah right, I thought. Guys like you only want one thing from girls like me. I allowed Tory to walk me up to my apartment. I leaned against the door and thanked him once again. He asked me out and I accepted. I liked being around him but of course we’d have to end this soon. After an amazing kiss goodnight and surprisingly no request from Tory to come inside, I let myself in and kicked my boots off. I sighed and plopped down on the couch, deciding to watch some television.
“You and Tory huh?”
I drew my gun faster than lightning could strike an ironclad idiot out in the middle of a storm. Pointing in the direction of the voice, I leapt to my feet. The faceless voice chuckled and flicked the lights on.
“How did you get in here?” I asked, slowly lowering my unneeded weapon.
“That’s for me to know,” Carter said.
“Get out,” I sighed.
“You know, I was watching you all night. You seem to have so much more fun with people who don’t understand you like I do.”
“You have two seconds to get out before I shoot.”
“Just answer me this: what does Tory have that I don’t?”
With a roll of my eyes I said, “Don’t tell me you already have a crush on me after a week.”
“I’m just curious as to why you can see him or anyone else you damn well please but you won’t even be my friend.”
“Because I’m complicated like that.”
“That isn’t an answer.”
“No, that wasn’t the answer you wanted to hear,” I corrected.
“Just give me an answer,” he insisted.
“I don’t have to give you anything,” I said, turning my back.
I marched away and into the bedroom praying that he’d get the hint and leave. Carter followed me and I attempted to slam the door in his face; it didn’t work out too well.
“I’m not leaving,” he said.
“Fine, don’t leave. See if I care. Just don’t go all perverted on me when I start changing my clothes.”
“What are you so afraid of?”
“Is that everyone’s answer for everything? I have to be afraid of something if I don’t want to talk to you or be your friend? How about I just don’t like you? Can’t that be the answer?”
My voice was rising with each word I said. By the end of my rant my voice was well over indoor voice mode.
“Why are you yelling?”
“You aggravate me! That’s why!”
“If you really don’t like me then look at me and say it.”
I hadn’t noticed that I was staring at a wall the whole time we were speaking. I turned to face him and he closed in on me. I backed up a few feet but he pursued me.
“Personal space. Ever heard of it?”
“You didn’t mind me being in your personal space last night.”
I don’t know why but I slapped him. Hard. I was just tired of everyone being on my case. First my foster father and now him? If anything, I thought Carter would be the one to understand that I needed space for a while.
“Get out,” I said, calmly.
“No,” he said defiantly.
“How dare you?” I raised my hand to strike him again but he caught it before I could get a good backswing going. “Let me go!”
“Listen. Normal Carter might take this crap from you but did you forget that my other side likes to be in control? Don’t hit me again.”
He didn’t say it to be threatening but I felt threatened. The look in his eyes made his words more intense than they should’ve sounded. He was right. It was like a whole different person was speaking. I attempted to tear my gaze from his but he glared down at me, taking my eyes prisoner.
“Now I want a straight answer and I want it now.”
“You just don’t understand Michael!” I yelled. When I realized where I slipped up, I looked away ashamed. “I mean Carter.”
“Sure you did.” He smiled bitterly. “I see what this is about,” he said, releasing my wrist. “You can’t let go of the past. Just because I look like someone from your past doesn’t mean I am that person. I’m not. Michael is gone and I’m not him. If you can’t get over that simple fact then you don’t deserve to be breathing right now. There are people out there who don’t waste life like you do, mourning the long departed.”
“Well then why don’t you go find one of them to crush on?”
I hated this other side of Carter because he was always so accurate in his accusations. He was just never wrong but I’d sooner die than admit defeat.
“I don’t care about them; I care about you.”
“Why? You don’t know me.”
“I don’t know you?” He shook his head. “I know more stuff about you than you think you know and it’s not just because I took a look at your records.”
“Name five things you know about me.”
“You hate being wrong even though you know you are. You love to match because it’s one way to keep order in your life. You never let anyone get too close because you fear falling for them as well. You don’t make friends with girls because it isn’t fun killing girls. Last but not least, deep down, you have feelings for me because I share your pain and regret and because I’m cute.”
“You got three out of five,” I said, turning my attention to a speck on the wall.
“You’re really trying to tell me I’m wrong? I’m never wrong.”
“Alright you got everything right but so what? It doesn’t mean you know me, like really know me. No one except Michael does.”
“Well then why don’t you try telling me about yourself? I want to know everything. I want to know your favorite song, your favorite food, where you’re from, what are your hopes and dreams, and what you like to do. Every little detail.”
“Why do you care so much?”
“I just feel like we belong together.”
“So we can hurt each other some more?”
“Get over it! In time we’ll learn to control our problems but for now…” He paused. Taking out a cylindrical, orange prescription bottle, he handed it to me. “Take these. They help keep your other half out of the picture. It’ll be just you all the time.”
“You really think this load of crap will work?” I asked, ready to chuck the pills into the trash.
“They do work.”
“As if. You’re not Carter right now.”
“I didn’t take my medicine today.”
Medicine my ass.
“And what if this is just a crock of bologna and these are just placebos?”
“You be the judge of whether they work or not.” He turned his back. “I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.”
“My couch?”
“What other couch would I be talking about?”
“The one in your own apartment.”
“No I think I’ll stay here,” he said, taking a pillow from my bed.
Underneath my pillow was a tiny, pink teddy bear my mother had given me when I was six. I skinned my knee at the park and she bought it for me so I could feel better. I’ve kept it ever since.
Carter smirked.
“What is this?” he asked, picking it up.
“Don’t touch it!” I blurted.
“Miss Badass has a teddy bear?”
“Shut up. My mom gave that to me,” I said, snatching it from him.
Carter’s smile disappeared.
“Oh,” was all he said. “Goodnight.”
I said goodnight to him and returned my teddy bear to its hiding place beneath my pillow. So now he was sleeping on my couch. This isn’t good, I thought. I peeked out the door and saw him already sprawled out on the couch.
“I’m going to take a shower,” I said.
“Go ahead,” he replied.
I shut the door and stripped. The warm water soothed my aching muscles. While washing my hair I heard the familiar click of the bathroom door opening. I froze.
“Who’s there?” I yelled out.
I kept my eyes squeezed shut but shampoo still stung them.
“I had to pee. Don’t worry. I’m not peeking at you.”
This is awkward… I rinsed the shampoo from my face and peeked out from behind the curtain. So awkward! I stopped my staring because I felt like I was doing something wrong. It’s not like I can see anything anyway. As quickly as I had freaked out about Carter walking into the bathroom, I was already over it. I hummed a song and rinsed the shampoo from my hair.
“You sound calm,” said Carter.
Bathroom conversation? Back to awkward.
“Uh huh,” I said.
How long does it take for you to pee? I finally heard the flush of the toilet and sighed.
“You’re glad I’m leaving?”
“Jesus, will you just get out please?” I said, stamping my foot.
When I stamped my foot, I slipped and suddenly found myself falling backwards. I screamed and latched onto the shower curtain which decided to fall along with me. I expected my head to smack into the wall or something but nothing happened. I stopped falling. Pushing the curtain off my face, I looked up.
“Don’t slip,” said Carter, smiling.
I didn’t expect him to actually catch me! I could feel the burn of my cheeks. At least the shower curtain covered me. But what was the warmth I felt…oh goodness.
“Um, that’s my butt,” I said, keeping my eyes away from his.
“Is it? I hadn’t noticed,” he said smirking.
He set me upright and I hugged the shower curtain close.
“That’s for trying to peek at me,” said Carter.
“How did you see that?” I asked, bewildered.
“I didn’t. It was a complete guess. Thanks for giving my ego a boost. It’s nice to know you’re curious about my size.”
With that he walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
“Who says I was curious?” I yelled at the door.
Cheeks burning and all, I wrapped myself in a towel and crept out to the bedroom to grab my clothes. I looked around the corner to the living room.
“I’m getting dressed. Don’t come anywhere near the bathroom or I’ll blow your head off,” I threatened.
“I’ve seen enough already. You have nothing to worry about,” said Carter, his eyes glued to the television.
I went back to the bathroom and got dressed. I braved a quick look in the mirror then left. I found Carter asleep in my bed when I got out.
“Really?” I said to no one. “What happened to sleeping on the couch?”
I sighed and decided the couch was just as comfortable as my bed. I was wrong. The couch was nowhere near as comfortable as my bed. Sure it was great for sitting but not for sleeping. I missed being able to roll around freely without fearing I’d fall onto the floor. Carter was going to pay for this. He’d rue the day he made me sleep on the couch. There was absolutely no way I’d sleep in the same bed as him. I learned my lesson last time. Flicking my wet hair out of my face, I closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep.
The next morning I woke up on the floor…again and was greeted by the smells of breakfast. Maybe Carter staying over wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
“Morning sleepyhead,” said Carter, seeing me walk into the kitchen. “You hungry?”
“I thought you said you couldn’t cook.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t figure out how to make eggs after setting the fire alarm off about thirty times.” We shared a laugh. “Eat up because we have a big day ahead of us, starting with you taking this pill.”