SHORT BORING UNEDITED UPDATE!
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"Tomorrow I am shifting to my new apartment. I thought I will let you know" Rk said to Madhu as he stood by her bedroom door way. Madhu got down from the bed and rushed to his side. She hesitated a second before taking his hand in her. "Already you found an apartment? I thought it will take time...time to find a place" she asked failing to hide her panic which was visible on her face.
"Yeah, I asked the same realtor who helped me find this place when we moved here and he found a decent apartment for me to live. It's pretty close from here; hardly will it take five minutes’ walk"
"You really want to do this?" She asked. She wasn't sure how serious he was when he said about the moving out plan so she took it light then but now that he had found an apartment and actually moving out, she could feel the hollowness in her heart. She didn't want him to stay alone leaving her and Ruhi in the God damn huge house. "Don't you think you should reconsider your decision?" She asked, more like pleaded.
He looked away from her and stood silently.
"Do you think it's safe for us to stay alone?"
"Bittuji and Roma will be staying with you and Ruhi and they will take care of you two. Besides, my apartment is just across the road, you can call me anytime if you need anything."
"Why are you doing this, Rk? What difference will it probably make by staying alone in the separate apartment but not in the room next to mine?"
"I don't know... I just can't live closer to you but not really get closer to you. I need some space... I worry I will go crazy and do something stupid so I am distancing myself from you." He said looking down at his shoes and his hands shoved in his pockets.
"What about Ruhi? Won't she miss sleeping with you at night times?"
"She has you. She will be fine. In case she doesn't get sleep at all without me just give me a call. I will come here, put her to sleep and then get back to my house."
"So that's it?" She asked with a smirk masking her anger. "You are giving up, already?" She asked.
Rk frowned. "If you meant giving up on Ruhi then no, you are mistaken. I will never do that. I will always be a part of my daughter's life. If you meant giving up on you, then yes, you are right. You made it clear that there is no future for us so its pointless for me to fight for something which is not mine and never going to be mine"
Ouch! That burns.
She pushed her hair back off her face and dragged her hand further and pressed the back of her neck.
"I wonder why you brought us here. Ruhi and I would have lived happily back home, in India, if it wasn't for you. You too could have lived happily shooting, dating, partying and enjoyed your super stardom to the fullest." She yelled as angry tears stained her flawless cheeks. "You know what? We shouldn't have crossed paths again at all. No, actually we shouldn't have met ever in the first place. Then we wouldn't be in this mess..."
"Madhu, please, calm down and listen to me" he cut her off when she bursted out and placed his hands on either side of her shoulder.
"Don't touch me" she swatted his arms off her shoulders. "Leave my room. I need to be alone"
"Madhu, please, what I am doing now is the best of us..."
"Just get the hell out of my room, Rk" she boomed and literally pushed him out of her room and shut the door on his face.
A moment later she heard a soft knock at the door. "Rk, stop..." She pulled the door open and Ruhi toppled over Madhu's feet.
"Mama" she cried rolling on the floor.
"Ruhi baby" Madhu quickly picked her daughter up in her arms and took her to the bed.
"I am sorry, baby" Madhu stretched beside Ruhi and wrapped her arm gently around her little tummy.
"You hurt?" She asked gently massaging Ruhi's knees.
"Yeah" Ruhi whined.
"Where?"
"Dohno" (don't know) Ruhi said scratching her hair.
"Then sleep. You will forget your pain when you wake up in the morning" Madhu tucked her in and turned off the light.
"Mama" Ruhi screamed kicking away her blankie.
"What?" Madhu's hand quickly reached for the bedside lamp and she turned it on.
"Papa! He didn't come to bed" she complained when her momma turned off the light before her daddy got onto the bed.
"He won't be coming. Learn to sleep without him, Ruhi." Madhu said harshly.
"I want papa. I am going to papa" she tried to crawl out of the bed but Madhu grabbed her onesie and dragged her back to lie beside her.
"Mama, leave me"
"Ruhi, sleep!" She scolded. Ruhi slapped her momma's chest twice in anger before starting to cry. "Wah, Ruhi? You slapped me but you are crying? Darling, I should be the one crying not you"
"Lemme go, mama. I want papa" she cried, kicking her legs in air.
"So you don't want momma?"
"I want you. I'll bring papa here"
"No, I don't want your papa in my room, in my bed"
"Why?" Ruhi asked with a cute frown. Till yesterday they, three, were sleeping in one bed right? Then what happened now? Little Ruhi couldn't understand her parents' complicated life.
"No means no" she snapped. Ruhi slapped her momma's mouth with her little hand.
"Ruhi!"
"Mama!"
Madhu couldn't help but laugh at the way her little daughter got angry.
"Go, sleep with your papa" Madhu picked her daughter from the bed and put her down on the floor and gave her a gentle spank on her behind pushing her to run to her daddy's room.
"I love you, mama" Ruhi blew a kiss and wobbled out of the room.
--0--
"Papa, open the door" Ruhi softly tapped on the door. "Papa" she called again but no response.
Rk was in the shower so he didn't hear the soft knock at the door.
"Papa, I am sleepy, open the door" Ruhi said softly leaning against the door trying to push it open but it was locked from inside.
"Papa! Papa! Papa!" Ruhi yelled but still her baby voice wasn't audible enough for him to hear from the bathroom.
After trying few more time she got tired and slept slumping down on the floor and leaning against the door.
After taking a long hot shower Rk walked out of the bathroom and got dressed in a pair of track pants and black T-shirt.
He laid on his back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling willing sleep will took over him but it was far away.
It was his last night in his home…No, not home. Home is not just a place but a feeling given by a person but here Rk lacked the special person to give such feeling so it wasn’t a home for him. It was just a huge house built with plain bricks and cement.
Sighing heavily, he rolled to his side, stretched his arm out and caressed the mattress where Madhu and Ruhi used to sleep.
"What the hell am I doing? Pushing myself away from them? Is it right?" He groaned questioning himself in his head. "Didn't I promise Madhu that I won't expect anything from her but to just let me be a part of Ruhi's life? Then what happened now? Why am I fucking up things? I know why! My selfish greedy heart wants more. I knew already I can't satisfy my heart with what I have. It always wanted and it will always want more of everything but I end up getting nothing! I am cursed to be deprived of love, care and affection so I better not expect it. Even my Ruhi won't love me after knowing the ugly truth. I won't get her love or anyone's love ever in my life so it's better I... I stop fooling myself that I will be loved by someone... No, not someone, I want Madhu to love me but I know she won't and she can't after what I did to her." he thought pulling his hair painfully.
"Ahh! I am such a fuck up and I am so because of that woman, my so called mother. If she hadn't betrayed my father and left us for another motherfucker then I wouldn't have lost hope in love. I wouldn't have thrown Madhu’s love in gutter and used her only for my pleasure. I wouldn't have treated her the way I treated her. I wouldn't have shown my back to her when she came to me carrying my child. I wouldn't be wallowing in guilt now... Fuck! I have been thinking the same thing for the thousandth time now and it only makes me hate myself more." he slapped his cheek with his palm to stop his haywire thought. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep but he couldn’t. He kept tossing and turning restlessly.
Rk felt the sudden urge to see Madhu and Ruhi peacefully sleeping and hoped that sight will help him to sleep so he jumped out of the bed and headed toward his door.
He yanked the door open and tripped over the doormat. Shit! It wasn’t a doormat; it was his daughter, Ruhi. She was sprawled on the floor in her famous ‘Starfish’ pose, her hands and legs spread wide and her lips pouting cutely in her sleep.
Rk felt glad that he didn’t stomp on his baby girl’s stomach and hurt her.
“Ruhi baby” he knelt down on the floor and gently scooped up his sleeping beauty in his arms and took her to his bed. “What were you doing outside my room door, sweetheart?” he asked in a whisper to his sleeping daughter. The more he looked at his innocent daughter the more he got confused with his decision.
"I know what I am doing is the right thing to do for Madhu but what about Ruhi? What will happen to her when I moved out of this house? Won't she miss me? Of course she will... and the proof for my confident statement is finding her sleeping outside my room door... but I hope she will be okay... She has to be okay. I won't be here with her only at night times otherwise I will be around her throughout the day right? I won't let her miss me.” He vowed to himself. “I am just distancing myself from Madhu so that she will find someone right for her. She is too young to waste all her life staying single. She should date someone and enjoy her life with him. And I will be contented seeing her with..." He stopped. He can’t even imagine her with someone else but him. "Who am I kidding? I won't be contented. I will be damned...but I will try to assure myself time and again that I am okay. Madhu is not dating anyone now because she feels obligated to stay loyal to me...but I don't get why she feels obligated in the first place. It's not like we are together, right? Well, at least now that I won't be staying under one roof she will be free to do whatever she pleases to do with whoever she likes." He thought and that thought was enough to churn his stomach. He felt a gentle kick on his side so he turned his head and found his daughter wide awake and teasing him with her legs.
"Hey" Rk said leaning closer to Ruhi and poking her chubby cheeks.
"Hey" she mimicked him making him laugh.
"Go back to sleep, darling"
"I want mama" she said and yawned cutely.
"Your momma is in the next room. You want me to take to her?" Rk asked hesitantly. Ruhi nodded.
"Okay then..." He balled her up in his arms and took her to her mother.
Madhu’s room was pitch black so Rk turned on the light and found her wide awake but she didn’t realize their presence in her room as she was lost in her thought. Rk wished he could know what she was thinking.
Rk placed Ruhi on the edge of the bed and she quickly crawled across and straddled on top of her momma bringing her out of her own world.
“You didn’t sleep, Ruhi?” Madhu asked her daughter but her eyes were set on Rk who was looking everywhere but Madhu.
“Just a minute back she woke up and asked for you so I brought her here” Rk replied for Ruhi. Madhu nodded.
“Papa, come, sleep” Ruhi rested her head on her momma’s chest and stretched her hand out for her papa. Rk awkwardly stood there rubbing the back of his neck, not knowing what to do now.
“Papa” She demanded. Rk hesitantly climbed up on the bed and stretched beside Madhu maintaining a reasonable distance.
"Papa, come closer" Ruhi chided and held her little hand out for him. He sighed before scooting closer to them and took Ruhi's hand. Ruhi placed his hand over Madhu's bosom making her jerk but before Rk could withdrew his hand Ruhi placed her head on his hand pressing it further on her soft lumps.
"I am sorry" he whispered.
"It's okay" Madhu said and waited for Ruhi to sleep so that she can swift her down to sleep on the bed.
After Ruhi fell asleep and comfortably settled between her parents, Rk stood up to go back to his room but Madhu held his wrist and stopped him. He turned and gave her a questioning look.
"Stay here, please?"
"You sure?" He asked drawing his brows together.
"Yes" she said and he lied next to her on the bed.
"I will miss you when you move out"
"Hmm"
"You really want to do this? I am giving you the last chance to change your mind"
He didnt reply.
"We were okay right? Then suddenly what happened to us? Why you took this hasty decision?"
"Madhu, don't ask me anything, please"
"Is it because I refused to marry you?"
He turned to his side looking away from her.
"Tell me, Rk?" She held his shoulder and made him turn to her side and face her.
"I need some space. That's all. Nothing has changed. Nothing will ever change between us." He said and quickly walked out of her room shutting the door behind him.
...to be continued!
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P.S - I have my Sem Exams from 1st Nov - 10th Nov so next update will be only after my exams! Please wait till then guys!