•WARNING there will be self harm in this. but don't worry I will warn you when there will be self harm mentioned.
I walk into the fifth harmony girls tour bus wanting to surprise them. After Camila left the group we stopped talking as much. We still messaged each other but not a lot.
I just felt like I couldn't be as close with the girls because of how they stopped talking to Camila after she left. But I talked to Camila about it and she said that she didn't care.
I knock on the door and hear foot steps run towards the door. Ally opens the door with Dinah standing next to her. "Y/n!" They scream jumping into me causing me to almost fall over. I wrap my arms around them both and give them both kisses on the forehead.
"Hey babes, I missed you guys." I say once they pull back from the group hug. "Where's Lo? And Mani bear?" The girls faces change from happy to pure panic. Ally mades a hand signal to Dinah.
"Umm.. I have to.. Go feed my goat." Dinah said which made me very confused? They are hiding something from me and I'm gonna find out what it is. Ally hit the back of Dinah's head whispering 'idiot'
"Oh really? can I come and see you're goat Dinah?" I say in a bitchy tone. She starts to play with her bracelet which she usually does whenever she is nervous.
She let's out a fake laugh "uummm the goat doesn't really like people.. sorry." I roll my eyes and push my way pass the two. I walk into where the bunks are.
The more I walk into the bus the more loud the moaning got. It sounds like Lauren and.... Camila? No. It can't be. She would never do that to me.
Camila and I are dating.. Well kind of. She doesn't want to go public with it. Just like when she was dating Lauren.
When I first met her, Lauren and her were dating but Camila broke up with Lauren to be with me.
Maybe she lied to me. Fuck. I walk up to Lauren's bunk where I hear the moaning. Tears start to form in my eyes. I can't believe she would do this to me. I pull the curtain to see Camila and Lauren in a heated make out session. Camila sitting on top of Lauren running her hands up and down Lauren's chest while Lauren's hands are on Camila's ass.
"What the fuck!" I scream at them. I feel my face heat up in rage. It's like I couldn't move my whole body was numb. I didn't know what to do.
"Y/n? Oh my god! I'm so sorry you had to see this." Camila's lips were all red and swollen. I shake my head at her "you never really broke up with Lauren did you? You still have feelings for her." Camila jumps out of the bunk with her head hung down in shame.
"Let's go talk in the lounge room." She says quietly. I storm over to the lounge while Camila slowly takes a seat. "Are you gonna sit down." Camila asks me I shake my head "hell no! Bitch you're gonna tell me why the fuck you cheated on me with one of my best friends and then after that I'm breaking up with you and then leaving!"
Camila flinches at my yelling and starts to cry. Are you kidding me right now? "Y/n... She was my first love. I'm always going to love her." I start to pace around the room while tears freely fall down my face.
"Then why would you date me and lead me on if you still loved her?" I say turning around so my back is facing her. I hate people seeing me cry.
"Me and Lauren were fighting, and I was planing to leave the group at the time. I just needed someone to make me feel less lonely. I also wanted to make Lauren jealous in the hopes that she would take me back... It worked." I run my fingers through my hair.
"You're such a selfish bitch" I whisper. I could literally feel my heart break into tiny little pieces. Our whole relationship was a lie. I was just a quick fuck to her.
I feel her hug me from behind. I try to push her off me but there was no point she wouldn't let me go. I start to sob.
I fall to the ground with Camila holding me. "You're still my best friend y/n... I just don't love you like the way you love me." That just causes my heart to break even more. "I-I n-need to l-leave." I mumble standing up and running out the bus.
I walk out and see Dinah and Ally looking at me with guilt. "H-how could you guys? Why w-would you guys hide this from me I t-thought that we were best friends? Oh wait I know why it's because Lauren comes first right? She is the prettier one right? The smarter one? The funnier one?" Ally runs up to me trying to pull me into a hug but I pull back.
"H-honey you k-know that that's not true." Ally says crying as well. "Ally we both know that that's true. I just needed Camila to remind me that I'm worthless. I'm not special" I look over at Dinah who is frozen in her spot with tears also falling down her face looking at me with pity.
"I'm going home now. And I'm not coming back." I quietly say the last part.
"No y/n. You're not leaving. Not like this. You might start.. Hurting yourself again and you might take it to far this time." Ally says taking my arm trying to pull me back into the tour bus. All the girls knew about my self harming besides Camila.
I was scared that if I told her about my not so little habit she would leave me. I guess It's to late for that now.
When I started dating Camila I stopped. I had to beg the girls to not tell her.
I turn around to run to my car but Dinah runs up to me and throws me over her shoulder. Shit. She walks me into the bus and places me on the lounge.
Ally locks the door and places the key in her pocket so I can't escape. "Ally.. Please just let me go home. I can't be here. She is here with..... her" I say hoping that they will let me leave so I can home and cut myself. The urge is to strong. I need to hurt myself.
"Babe, you know that we can't let you leave." Dinah says sitting next to me placing her hand on my arm.
•warning!!!
"Can I please use the bathroom." I didn't wait for a response as I run into the bathroom and lock the door.
Ally and Dinah start banging on the door screaming for me to let them in. I find a mirror and smash it. I find a sharp piece and start making deep cuts.
One, for ever thinking that someone like Camila would ever love you.
Two, for not being pretty like Lauren.
Three, for never being enough.
Four, for being worthless.
Five, for being happy.
Blood starts pouring out of my arms going all over the floor. For once I feel complete. I deserved this. I needed this.
"Y/n?! I swear to god if you don't let me in I'm going to break this fucking door down!" I hear Camila's voice scream at me through the door. Fuck!
"Just let me in! right fucking now y/n I'm not joking!" Camila yells. I hear something hit the door hard. I flinch. With one more hit the door bust open.
I see Camila standing at the door with messed up make up and tears streaming down her face. Behind her the other girls were standing at the door shocked looks on there faces with tears streaming down their own faces as well.
"I'm sorry." I whisper. Camila runs up to me holding my bleeding arm. "Get her a towel!" Camila screams at the girls they all run around the bus trying to find a towel.
"Bab-by? why w-would y-you do this to y-yourself?" My heart flutters at the nick name 'baby' but then I realise that I'm no longer her baby.
"Please don't call me that.." I say. The girls run into the bathroom with a bed sheet. "This is all we could find" Lauren says running up to me wrapping the sheet around my bleeding wrist. I look away from her. Just looking at her makes me want to hurt myself again. Why does she have to be so perfect?
"Y/n I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I will stay away from Camila I swear." I keep my view on the floor not being able to look at Lauren.
"No.. Don't say sorry. I deserve this. You guys belong together I'm just sorry that I got in the way of that... Umm I will just go home now." I say then I try to stand up but Camila and Lauren both hold onto my shoulders pulling me back down.
"No Y/n don't you dare say that you're sorry! I'm the one who cheated and it was one of the dumbest things that I have ever done in my life. And you do not fucking deserve this ok? You are an amazing person." Camila yells she reaches up and holds my face in her hands making me look at her.
"I'm just not amazing enough for you to love me." I say removing her hands from my face. She frowns at me. "I do love you." I shake my head at her "not the same way I love you."
I start to feel dizzy. I look down and see Camila's hands covered in my blood. I start to feel even more dizzy. "Y/n?!" I hear faint echoes and then it all goes black.
{I know that the ending was shit and it happens in every fanfic but oh well. I'm just feeling hell sad today so hope you liked my depressing ass story.}