I woke up the next day and sat up immediately when I heard Lennon cry. I looked over and Liam wasn't there. I felt my heart stop. I jumped out of bed and ran out of the room. Liam was standing in the living room trying to calm him down. As soon as Lennon saw me he ran to me.
"Mummy" he cried I picked him up and patted his back.
"You have a kid?" Liam asked. I sighed, not knowing what to say I just nodded.
"Who's the man mummy?" Lennon asked calming down. I didn't know what to say.
"He's mummys friend kiddo" I said. Lennon burried his head into my neck and I sighed.
"He scared me" Lennon whispered low enough for Liam not to hear.
"I know kiddo" I put him down and he stayed behind my leg. Hiding away from Liam. Liam stood still not knowing what to do.
"Lennon why don't you go and play in your room for a while." I said. He nodded and ran away, not looking at Liam. Who stood still, as if he was in shock.
"How old is he?" Liam asked.
"Five next month" i said. Liam stood calculating it in his head.
"I think I... i have to go" liam said. He ran into my room grabbing his shoes. I guess now I know how liam would have reacted. He ran out the door slamming it shut.
###
I knew as soon as he got back to the hotel I would get a phone call from someone. I knew in the back of my head it would have been Noel but I never in a million years thought he would be mad or angry at me for this, no one even knows the story.
The phone rang and I answered it before the voice came bellowing down.
"Are you mad?" Noel shouted. I sighed, relieved it wasn't Liam.
"Noel I..." He cut me off.
"A fucking kid? That's what this was all about" he shouted. I knew I had to let him rant this out so I stayed quiet.
"Five years you had to tell him, or at least try, HOW COULD YOU? That's a kid, his kid and you've just kept him in the dark for all these years." Noel shouted.
"He didn't EVEN ASK IF HE WAS HIS" I protested.
"He's FIVE, YOU GUYS WERE TOGETHER, of course that kids his, is that why you came back? To get a piece of this life by using the kid?" Noel was harsh, and angry and I understood why.
"Not about this NOEL. I didn't tell him, he turned up at my door in the middle of the night before crashing at my place. I didn't want to tell him but HOW Do you hide a four year old crying kid from him? I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO KNOW FOR FUCK SAKE" I shouted at the end angry Liam didn't even ask questions.
"Look we don't kneed anything from you or him, the balls in his court now if he wants to see his son that's fine and if he wants nothing to do with him that's fine too" I said calmly.
"Your a fucking bitch, how did you even decide he didn't deserve to know he had a kid on this earth?" Noel was pushing it.
"I decided he wouldn't want to know after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me after accusing me of shagging you!" I was fuming.
"Well if this is the little cunt you turned into no wonder he wanted fuck all to do with you." Noel said before hanging up. I put the phone down and started breathing heavy.
"Mummy, why were you shouting" Lennon asked as he ate his cereal.
"I just wansnt happy with who was on the other side kiddo." I told him.
"Who was on the other side? Was it the scary man?" He asked. I shook my head. I looked right at Lennon making a dection fast. I nealed down to him and for him to look at me.
"That man Lennon, he was a very special man, not just mummys friend." I said. His big bushy eyebrows raised up and I smiled.
"How was he special?" He asked shovelling in more rice pops into his mouth.
"Well a very long time he was mummys boyfriend and when I movies away I found out that I was having you" I said. Lennon looked at me and I tried again to make it simple for him.
"That man was, well he was your dad Lennon." I said. If eyebrows could fly that was his reaction. They shot up and his eyes were filled with confusion.
"But he didn't tell me mam" he said confused. "Are you sure that was my dad?" He asked in a comical way.
"100% sure kiddo" I laughed.
"Well is he coming back?" He asked. I didn't know. I didn't honestly.
"I'm not sure he's a busy guy Lennon" I told him.
"Well what does he do, because my mates dad, he works in Asda and my other mates dad is a plumber, and they both come back after work" Lennon told me I smiled at how much like his dad he was, if Liam didn't come back he was lossing out on an amazing kid, and Lennon didn't need him in his life.
"He's in a band" I said.
"What like the Beatles?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yeah kid. Like the Beatles." I said ruffeling his hair.
"If he comes back mum, can we go with him when he leaves and make music with him" he asked. I shook my head.
"No kiddo, thats not something kids do" I said, knowing he shouldn't be around that.
"Well I haven't even asked him yet" he mumbled while scooping up another spoon full of cereal.
###
Lennon was staying with Elliot the next night, I had it to myself, I was currently watching reruns of only fools and horses and cuddled into my duvet. It was nice to have a break and Lennon didn't stay out often but Jamie insisted I needed a break. She was my hero for the day. God knows I needed one.
I was eating ice cream and forcing my way into a food coma when the door chapped, it was quiet and soft but loud enough for me to hear from the front room. I jumped up adjusting my jumper and walking to the door.
I opened the door to see Liam looking down at his feet, hands in his pocket. He looked like a lost puppy, like a dear in the headlights. "Liam?" I asked. He looked up at me, eyes rimmed red from either drinking and lack of sleep or crying.
"Hay" he said shrugging. I opened the door more and let him in.
"Liam your freaking me out now, what's up?" I asked.
"Look I know I might not be the best role model or anything but if that's my kid I want to be in his life, I know you didn't want me in his life but I want to be" he said. I looked at him and nodded.
"I just want to get to know him. I don't want him gorowing up thinking I didn't want him or anything like that because that's on you not me" he added. I nodded again.
"Sally I want you and him to move back to Manchester, I can't keep traveling back and forth just to spend the day with him whenever I have it off" he added.
"Are you mad? I can just move us both away because it's an inconvenience for you Liam" I said.
"You always said you would go back Sal, now it's time you can't run no more" he told me.
"I'm not running Liam. I stopped running and hiding the moment I gave birth to him. My whole life evolves around Lennon and I don't think it's in his best interests to move him all those miles away, He had a life here" I told liam firmly, I could see Liam getting mad but he was keeping it burried.
"Where is he anyway?" Liam asked looking around.
"Staying at his mates" I told him. He sighed.
"Look Sally I'm asking that you move to Manchester so I can help look after my kid, it's the least you could do after keeping me in the dark for 5 years of his life" he said taking a step forward I took a step back.
"You didn't want me, I left because you didn't want me" I said, liam scoffed.
"Just because I didn't want you didn't mean I didn't want my son" he said taking another step forward. Me again going back.
"Yeah well I was too busy raising him on my own because you were to selfish to admit that you were wrong" I said. This game we were playing brought back so many memories. We would argue, he would shout first, I would get upset, he would kiss me and then we were back to normal, the only difference is now I'm too grown up to cry because he shouted a little too loud.
"You changed your number and blocked everyone out Sally, how come 5 years later your still the same? Didn't you grow up?" He sneared at me. One forward one back
"I guess I didn't, clearly neither did you" I said. Stepping forward now we were nose to nose.
"You've got two options Sally and I fucking mean it. You stop playing fucking games and move to Manchester or I'll see you in court and we'll hash this out like real adults." He said before pushing past me and slamming the door shut. I jumped a little hen sighed and went back to the tv.