I think I should start adding how old I was when these things happened to me.
Age of Occurrence: Fresh 18
From 16 to 18 I worked at a grocery store as a cashier. A lot of shit happened when I worked there. We were robbed, Michael Jackson died, one of my old elementary school teachers hit on me, I laughed at bitches who wore high heels in the winter time fall on ice, we changed locations—to a bigger building and one of my customers attempted to bed me.
When we moved to our bigger facility, of course we got new locals that shopped at our location. One in particular would always come to my line, no matter how busy we were. I could have the longest line or have someone with 80 items and he's behind them with only three...he'd still wait in my lane.
In the beginning I didn't pay much attention to him. He was just a regular, nothing more nothing less.
Then something clicked and I noticed he always came at a certain time. He came once a week, I wanna say Sunday, yeah, Sunday, between 10:30-11am.
Then I started checking him out....
When I realized how good looking he was I started to get nervous whenever he came in. Then it was becoming obvious that he was digging me.
My coworkers peeped it before me. They are low key the reason why I even started pay attention in the first place. They caused the click.
But anyway...
Whenever he spoke to me, he was so smooth.
Wait...fuck...I should describe him right?
He was about 5'8, slim, brown eyes, wore glasses, salt and pepper hair, a sprinkle of grey in his goatee, and an amazing smile.
Every time I saw him, I was shook.
I remember he'd always take his time whenever I rang him up. He'd make conversation and all that. Ask me how I was doing and shit, then he'd tell me he'd see me later. Doesn't seem like much, but his delivery spoke volumes.
One week I had requested to do the early morning shift and to leave early. I was in at 4 in the morning 🙄
Anyway, around 10:30 I was supposed to be dipping, but my relief was running late so they asked me to stay for another 15. I get back to doing my thing and I noticed the time. And I realized he wasn't here. I shrugged it off and finish ringing out my customer.
As soon as I finished with her and got started on the next. Then here he comes, walking up to my lane around. My relief was also walking over from the opposite end of the store. I'm speed balling through my current customer, so I can at least say hi or whatever. Then my replacement walks up right as it's his turn.
My replacement switching out with me and I'm giving her the run down. When I stopped talking to her, I looked to him. I said good morning and he's like "morning, you're leaving already?"
I said yeah and my coworker is standing to the side just smirking as we're talking and she's ringing up his shit. Then he asked if I'd be leaving early next week. I told him no. That I'd be on my regular schedule next week.
Then he goes, "Okay, so I don't have to get up even earlier on my Sunday..."
Y'all, if I wasn't brown, I would have been blushing.
My coworker is just sitting there watching the whole thing. Then the lady behind him was staring too. They just watching everything unfold and we were damn near in a whole other world.
He's paying or whatever and I'm thinking to myself...
...he's leaving it wide open.
I whip out my phone like...
"What's your number?"
He didn't skip a beat. He told me and grabbed his things. As he's walked away, he stopped and smiled. Then he went, "so I'll hear from you right?"
I'm like yeaaa...
My coworker and the next customer were just staring at me while I grabbed the rest of my shit to leave. I finally acknowledged them and the customer goes, "You better get em, girl. He looks mighty fine for his age." Then my coworker was like "I bet he don't know you ain't legal..."
He didn't. I mean, I was legal but I had only recently turned 18. Just graduated high school. Just had my first sexual experience...all of that was recent. But 18 is 18 right? That's all that matters.
Anyway, I did shoot him a text to let him know it was me. In turn, he called me.
I can't remember the first conversation, but I believe it went well because he kept calling. I remember he did catch on that I was pretty shy and told me that I could just text him.
So we went that route and he was really understanding about it.
Then, we really got into conversation about a lot of things. Mainly revolving around what I wanted to major in in college. My goals and dreams.
He told me that he was 50-something, single, no kids, what he did for a living...I can't remember if he was ever married.
Over time the conversations began to heat up. He began asking about my sex life.
Like I said before, it was pretty much none existent at the time. I had only one sexual encounter and that was my date giving me some mind blowing head on prom night. (BTW: No one has topped what he did to me that night.)
I told him about that. He was intrigued, as you can imagine. That led to him asking about my desires...my fantasies. He asked if I were willing to explore with him.
My coochie was jumping for joy & wondering where this man came from and why he was choosing me.
But everything else was just shook.
Also, at the time when this sexual conversation was happening I was on my way to 6 Flags with my best friends.
Of course their nosey asses noticed I was really into my phone. They started asking questions and I answered them all. I specifically remember one of them laughing, talking about. "Do it. Nah, bitch, don't do it. He could be your daddy." 😂😂😂😂
Ultimately, I told him I'd think about it.
A couple days go by and we're talking again. Then this question pops up.
"Would you like to come over?"
I stared at that screen for a long ass time. Not quite sure of what to do.
Eventually, I responded with "Sure, what's your address?"
When he sent it to me, I realized he lived fairly close to me I had my cousin pick me up. When we pulled up to his house...I froze.
I seriously froze.
My body was stuck on stupid and I couldn't move.
We sat outside his house for nearly 20 minutes before I managed to tell her to take me home.
A little bit after I left he texted me asking if I was still coming. I kept it real with him and told him I didn't know if I could.
I didn't hear from him for a while, but when he did respond he said, "What are you afraid of?"
I didn't respond. Then I got another text saying, "You're not ready."
I saw him a few more times after that.
Every Sunday.
At the same time.
He was still just as nice and sweet as he was before I asked for his number. Still, he never texted or called again. I think he was waiting for me to reach out to him. He was waiting for when I was ready.
Then I went away to college and I never saw him again. I regret not getting out of the car, because I'm sure that would have been quite the experience. There was so much that could have been learned.
Not just in a physical way, but mentally.
I'm not gullible, so I knew going into it, not to expect anything. Not to catch feelings. So I was prepared in that way. I was just so afraid to take the risk...
Y'all keeping saying I've lived an interesting life so far, well, I think he's indirectly responsible for that.
I'm not afraid to take risks anymore, because I don't wanna have to ever ask the question what if.
Still there are days that I wonder...
...what if I got out of that car...
Wanna know what really sucks? It's been so long, I can't even remember his name. Damn.