Warning: Has not been edited.
Sin
Her frail body went limp in my arms.
I've tried to ignore everything; my feelings, my thoughts, everything. But it was useless. Even with her being with the person she loves, I can't help but want her as mine.
At this very moment is when I realize that I would do anything for this girl.
I look down at her tiny body that reminds me of fine china. Her cheek bones slightly poked out and her clothes fitting a lot more loose than they usually do. It was plain to see that she was malnourished. Her skin had lost its frosty glow and was as cold as ice. Her lips looked rough with cracked skin- on the verge of bleeding is she maneuvered her lips the wrong way.
I can't think of a wrong way they can go.
No. Damn it, this is NOT the time brain.
I picked her up carefully before looking at my father. He nodded his head quickly.
He may be a dick, but he is actually an okay dad to me. Decland on the other hand- not so much. Because I was his biological son, he favored me more than Decland- which I can honestly say is a surprise considering how perfect the golden boy is.
After Talia we didn't get along too well. We always fought and were constantly at each others throats. I had just lost a woman I cared deeply for and he was as emotionless and inconsiderate as I am half of the time. As much as it broke me, I am pretty sure it broke him in the same way- seeing your son almost give up their fight can do that to you. That may be why he was so accepting when I began speaking of Avalon again- taking it more seriously than when I was a mere child.
He has to be heartless to lead the gang but that is just the persona he must uphold- or lose everything he's worked towards.
I was here discussing business and how the meeting with another leader had went until the guys showed up; hence skipping school. He may be a hard ass, but he wants for me to obtain my diploma so I won't have to struggle as he did. He doesn't know yet that I don't plan on going back to school to get a degree.
I carried her out to the car effortlessly. Tris sat up abruptly in the backseat with confusion etched along her face.
I ignored her- my only focus being Avalon. I laid her in the seat- Tris moving her head into her lap and proceeded to the drivers seat. Clay hopped in and took the passenger seat informing me that Justin will ride home with another 'co-worker.'
It took twenty minutes to reach the hospital. Swiftly putting the car into park, I turned it off and rushed to a still unconscious Avalon. I could feel her faint heartbeat through her back- it felt... Off.
As I walked- well, ran- inside, the nurses all took notice of the knocked out girl in my arms.
"What happened?" A busty brunette in blue scrubs asked.
"She just fainted. She hasn't been eating right and it feels like her pulse is off," I stated.
The nurse got a gurney and gestured for me to place Avalon's now chilly body on it. Rebecca, the nurse, took her stethoscope and listened to her heart. She pressed a button on the wall. opening triage doors and began to rush through.
I tried to follow before another voice stopped me.
"Sorry, sir. Only immediate family while tests are being ran," I sighed in defeat and plopped on a chair. Burying my face into my hands, I couldn't help but feel guilty.
If I just would have noticed sooner that something was wrong, maybe we wouldn't be here right now.
.•*•.
I felt myself being shaken awake. My face slipped out of my hand and I jerked upwards- rubbing the sleep from my tired eyes.
A doctor in seafoam green scrubs looks back at me over a white surgical mask.
Fear flooded my being.
She had to have surgery?
How long was I asleep?
"Are you here for Ms. Avalon West?"
I nodded my head quickly and stood to my full height, towering over the doctor by at least a foot.
"So, there is good news and bad news," he started. "Which would you like first?"
"Good news."
"So, the good news is that you got her here in the knick of time," he stated.
My eyebrow quirked up, "What do you mean? What's wrong with her?"
"She has something called Restrictive Cardiomyopathy."
I stayed silent, urging him to continue.
"It is when the walls of the ventricles are too rigid to expand and fill with blood."
"Speak English to me, doc," I say harshly. It felt like he was beating around the bush and I couldn't help my quickening heart beat.
"Come, follow me," he motioned.
We walked into a triage. He walked over to a white board and picked up a marker drawing a few lines and a circle.
"Here is the heart," he said pointing to the circle. "Here are the ventricles," he points to the lines at the bottom of the circle. "The ventricles are the lower chambers of your heart. They are what helps pump blood there, but, if they are too narrow, it will become difficult for the blood to reach the heart. Within time, the heart will not be able to pump the blood properly, thus ending in heart failure."
"How is that good news?" I bite out.
"Because now we can get her on proper medications to try and help contain it," he stated flatly.
"The bad news?" I ask. A part of my heart clenches, already knowing I will not like the it.
He sighs before gesturing to a chair behind me. I stand defiantly, crossing my arms and raising an eyebrow.
"Get on with it, old man," I snap.
"Suit yourself," he sighs. "Unfortunately, the medications she will be on is only a temporary fix. With the condition she is in, she will need a heart transplant and the sooner the better. From what we have observed, the cause is Primary Amyloidosis. It is where an abnormal protein called amyloid builds up in the heart. In the case of Ms. West what caused this is unbeknownst to us. There is simply no answer."
"Many people with Restrictive Cardiomyopathy have no or just minor symptoms. Hers, unfortunately, are more severe. She will need a heart transplant for sure. We can place her on the waiting list in hopes of finding an applicable donor, but, it could take weeks, months or even years."
"Well put her on the damn list then!" I all but shout. My mind was racing with all the possibilities- grim possibilities- that could happen.
I couldn't lose her.
I won't lose her.
"That's not the worst of it, sir," the doctor states vaguely.
"The spit it out! Stop withholding the information and just fucking tell me already!"
"Her condition is severe. If we were to put her on that list she wouldn't receive it in time. She doesn't have years to wait, sir. She has eight months at most and even then there is a chance of the transplant being unsuccessful. Her body could reject the heart," his voice morbidly echoes through my mind.
I crouched down propping my elbows on my knees and looked down at the floor closing my eyes tightly; my fingers interlaced on the back of my head.
Her body could reject the heart.
Eight months. Only eight months for her to live without the transplant.
And for the first time in a very long time, I let a tear fall from my eyes. Followed by another, then another and another. They kept coming, like a floodgate had been opened and refused to stop.
I'm going to lose her.
I'm going to fucking lose her again.
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