CHAPTER 38 - MIRACLES DO HAPPEN
TARA'S POV
Five pages later, I was inevitably in tears. And how couldn't I be? After such heartfelt letter, such confessions, such revelations ... it was hard not to cry.
Ten pages of his smooth handwriting to explain what went wrong between us and why and how. Ten pages to tell me how much I've hurt him. Ten pages to even confess that, in the end, he didn't need a place to live so badly, he just wanted to live with me. Something about a high school crush he'd never quite gotten over. Funny, huh?
Ten pages of his smooth handwriting to encase everything he's never told me, everything he's ever repressed. Simply, ten pages to unravel the mystery that has been these years Lukas Bennet, with all his hidden thoughts and emotions, with all this concealing the real pained truth in order to keep up with who he thought I loved.
I feel stupid for not having ever realized just how vulnerable he was in truth. I suppose I've always somewhat remained stuck to the former bad boy, or, at the very least, to the cocky roommate I grudgingly took in and that revolutionized my life against my every better judgment. It was hard to look at my husband and see him for who he really is: a man with a broken heart only I could fix.
Cliché, isn't it? The good girl fixing the bad boy. The bad boy helping the good girl find her badass side. Bookshelves and sites are full of such stories. I never realized just how much ours could fit with those. But in the end it does. With every due difference, of course, but it does. We're cliché, terribly cliché, but you know what? I couldn't care less. We could be cliché characters in a cliché book, I really wouldn't give a damn. It's who we are, it's what makes us ... well, us.
We're cheesy yet combative, we fight, we make up, we kiss, we break down. We're yin and yang, sun and moon sometimes, others we're two peas in a pod, kindred spirits. We're irrational and passionate, yet straightforward and cold. We're this and that, and I've never stopped to think just how much I loved this about us.
Teary-eyed, I basically jolted out of the bedroom to go reach Lukas in the one place where everything began. It seems like yesterday that I took in that cocky guy that made it a challenge to himself of taking me to bed, yet look at me now, 21 years later, still fighting that cocky jerk, yet still loving him.
I almost got out naked. Good thing I realized it soon enough. It took me not longer than 20 minutes to get ready, probably my best record.
Upon opening the door, I nearly got it slammed into my face as it opened itself, revealing all three of my children, two of them wearing backpacks, the eldest swinging the keys in her hands. Uh oh, I suppose I slept longer than I realized.
"You alright, mom?" Zach asked, steadying me, worried.
I gave him a half smile, ruffling his hair. "Perfectly fine, sweetie." Actually yes, I have no troubles whatsoever. I mean, the side effects of the sleeping pills have exhausted their power, and ... there's no sign whatsoever of that certain issue there, so ... I'm fine, really fine. Actually champing at the bit to go see that cheesy ex, soon to be once again husband of mine.
"Where's dad?" Was Gloria's first question. Some things never change, huh? Always daddy first.
I grinned. "Your dad's at our old place, and I'm reaching him. I'm actually glad I caught you." I turned to Nicky. "Can you watch over your siblings tonight? I'm pretty sure we'll be late."
I thought she'd grumble, but she stayed true to her promise, and nodded, bored, while her sister grinned. "Late, huh?" Gloria mused, nudging her brother. "Hear, hear, kiddo, I'd stock up attentions, if I were you, you might not be the puppy of the family for long ..."
"Gloria ..."
"What? At this pace you guys are gonna give us enough more siblings to form a soccer team."
I blushed, though at the same time feeling a pang in my heart at the thought. "You know we ... it's ..." There's not enough time, I wanted to say. I don't have enough time left to carry out a pregnancy. But how can you so coldly remind your children that they'll lose their mother so soon?
"I'd rather a boy." Zach commented, turning to his sister, a half pout on his face. "Dad and I are always outnumbered."
His sister snorted. "Please ... as if it would make a difference." She grinned. "I want a girl. I really need a little sis to spoil."
"Kids ..."
"Tsk, I've already had enough kids around, so do me a favor, mom, try protections this time. It's the 21st century after all." Nicky grumbled instead.
Oh, God, here goes the blushing again. "Kids ... first things first, it's not at all appropriate for you to discuss your father and I's-uh ... intimacy."
"You go at it like rabbits. Nothing to hide, we all know it."
"Nicky ..." I reprimanded, embarrassed. Sigh, that's what happens when you're too much of a friend of your children's, they take these liberties. Although it's kinda true ... ever since we got back together Lukas and I have indeed been going at it like rabbits, but hey, we gotta make up for the lost time and stock up for the time we ... don't have.
My eldest daughter stepped aside to let me pass. "Just go ... if you really need to bring another child home, make sure it's not a crybaby like this two."
"Hey!" The other two complained in unison, but I ignored both to sigh.
"Nicky ... and you all, I don't mean to cast a gloom shadow over this wishful interlude, but ... you know I ... uh ... you know how complicated my predicament is, so ..."
"But Nicky says you're fine." Zach mused, concerned.
"Honey ..." I sighed. I suppose his sister tried to reassure him in some way. "I am fine, I ... just ..." Oh, God, help me. I can't face this conversation right now.
"You're not dying, so why can't I have a little brother?"
My throat dried. Denial is the second stage of grief, isn't it? "Honey ... I ... I don't want you to think of such troubles, but-uh ... it's ..." Eh. What? What is it exactly?
"It's alright, mom." Gloria intervened with too big of a smile to be normal, wrapping an arm around her brother's shoulders. "We'll take care of him. Go have fun."
"Uh ..." I would have sworn there was something they were hiding, but, to be honest, I was craving to escape the itchy conversation and run to my old roommate, so I took the chance and left.
I suppose I'll have to take the time to properly talk the matter out with my children. It's of no use to just hide my head beneath the sand, right?
***
GLORIA'S POV
"Well done, dumbass, you nearly screwed up." Nick spat, sending him a dirty look.
"But I ..." Zach poorly defended.
I sighed. "I think we should tell them, Nicky."
"Ugh ... don't restart. We'll tell them in due time."
"But ..."
"Have you seen her? She looked like a mushy young girl all over again. They're going back to their normal, why should we waste this chance?"
"I understand, but ... you must think of how hard it is for them to face this." I argued.
She pondered for a moment. I was ready to argue more, because, to be honest, it's been barely a day or two, but I'm already bursting with this secret. It's too much. Our parents need to know.
"Okay, fine." Nicky agreed, taking me off guard.
"Really?" I blinked my eyes.
She rolled hers, fishing her phone out of her pocket. "Really." She started typing.
I frowned. "Oh, come on, you're not gonna ..."
"Dr. Schulz called," she recited as she typed, "no cancer, no baby."
"Nicky ..." Really, telling them via text? Even for her it's a cold move. She hit send anyways. Predictably, barely a second later her phone started ringing.
"It's dad." She handed it over to me.
"Well, answer it."
She shook her head. "Nah, I don't feel like repeating the same damn thing over and over again. Just tell him. I'm going to make myself a sandwich." She said, storming off. Typical Nicky, showing off this couldn't care less attitude, while in truth she must be over the moon as much as us that not only our mom is fine, but that our parents are back and there's nothing to divide them anymore.
She told me about this French hoe that tried to set up dad, claiming her child was his ... I didn't want to know details, but I think Nicky went pretty heavy on her. Hope nothing physical, but ... I mean, she punched Riley when he betrayed her, I can't imagine what she did to that French hoe that tried to destroy our family.
Even though I wasn't sure what to say, I took the call. "Hey, dad-"
"If it's a joke, it's a cruel one, and you'll never see light of the day again, you'll be grounded for the rest of your life, Gloria."
"Whoa, whoa ... it was Nicky to send the text, why am I the one to be grounded instead? And anyways, it's no joke." I sighed. "It's true ..."
Silence. Utter silence. Deafening silence.
"Dad?" I called tentatively after three minutes. "Dad? You still there?"
"It's ... true?" He sounded emotional. I can only imagine how he feels. If he's even a half as shocked yet relieved as I was when I found out, he must be bursting with joy, but it's more likely that he can hardly breathe.
"Yes ... it's true. Some mistake at the lab, I don't know. Either way, mom is fine, and you have no illegitimate children." For the first time since I was 12, I heard my father curse loud and clear.
***
LUKAS' POV
I stopped her mid-knock to swing the door open, and basically jump her. I didn't spare one single minute, forgot entirely about my plan and all that I had set up. I was going to do a remake of that time I asked her to marry me, but to hell with it, I couldn't resist, I was bursting.
So I pushed Tara against the wall as I kissed her, gripping her tightly. She yelped, but welcomed me nevertheless. My mind kept chanting she's alive, alive, alive. She's fine, fine, fine.
When I let my lips trail to her neck, she giggled. "Whoa, whoa ... what's all this enthusiasm?"
I seized her in my arms, pinning her against the wall, barely caring enough to close the door. I suppose I did good to buy our old apartment from Jake last week, before knowing about the disease. I'd already planned to bring her here for final acts of the list and all.
I peppered kisses all over her neck and cheeks and lips and ... anything I could find. I gotta be honest, I could barely contain myself. You know when you wait and wait and wait for a miracle to happen, and it finally does, despite all the impossibilities? Yeah, that's how I felt. I mean, I'm not much of a believer, but if this isn't a miracle, then I don't know what it is.
Without putting her down, I guided Tara to her old bedroom, but, once she'd decided she was going to comply, she veered me towards the kitchen, and I grinned. I suppose it's fair, our very first approach was actually in the kitchen. I had to pay not little, but I was able to turn the apartment into what it was before, same furniture, same walls, same everything. It felt like over 21 years ago all over again. Except this time I wasn't pushing my luck to seduce my roommate, I was readying to celebrate a new life with my wife.
Some say life begins at 40. I suppose it's quite literal for us.