Warning: Has not been edited
We didn't get attacked by any zombies that night; but I was left feeling I had been.
It's crazy. Absolutely insane. I know I said nothing happened, but I meant for it to be like I wasn't going to kiss- well almost kiss- and tell. But the way he said it with such a stoic face and an 'I don't give a shit' attitude; it actually hurt. I don't know why. But it did.
Afterwards, we pretended like nothing had happened. We talked like normal and still hung out. He helped me a lot with the show coming up and is still currently trying to help pick out a song for me.
"Hey, Sin?" I asked, while sitting at the desk in my bedroom.
He was laying upside down on my bed with his head slightly hanging off and his eyes closed. He grunted in response.
"Where do you plan on going to school when you graduate?"
My question was just out of plain curiosity and was innocent enough. However, the way he tensed up told me otherwise.
"I.. I'm not planning to go back when I graduate. This is it for me before I move," he replied slowly.
My heart skipped a beat hearing him say that. Why would he not go back to school? Where is he moving after that? Why is he moving?
"Oh," I responded in an almost whisper.
He sat up and rubbed his hand harshly down his face. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he stood and walked near me. My back was facing him but I could hear his footsteps and his loud intake of breath as he stepped closer. His hand touched my arm slightly, sending little tingles shooting throughout it.
God, why do I react this way?
He slowly turned me around to face him. His eyes were showing uncertainty on if he should tell me the truth or nothing at all.
"It's just... complicated," he sighed. So I guess he won't be telling me anything at all.
"Then break it down for me," I said. "I can understand, you just have to give me a chance to."
"It's not that sim-"
"Yes it is!" I interjected.
"No, it's not, Avalon! You wouldn't understand because you're not part of that portion of my life! You never will be!" I could tell he was irritated by his heavy breathing. But those words still stung. He shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. "I didn't mean it the way it sounded," he tried to excuse.
I nodded and turned around, trying to hold a stray tear back.
"I- I think you should leave," I whisper quietly. I could tell he hear me by the way he stepped closer and tried to explain, but I cut him off yet again. "Go, Sin. Now."
He exhaled slowly and picked his jacket up off my bed. The sound of the front door slamming told me he was gone.
I don't know why I am crying. He told me the truth. I won't ever be part of his life like that. But the truth hurt. The way he said the words hurt.
Why am I such a cry baby?! My emotions are haywire and my thoughts are scrambled like the eggs I eat for breakfast.
He just pushes my buttons with vague answers! He is so secretive and won't even let me help by letting me in!
God, I hate him!
But in my heart, I know it's saying something different. It's not telling me I hate him.
I quickly dug my phone from my jeans and was about to dial Tris, when Decland's phone number popped up on my screen.
Skeptically, my finger hovered over the answer button. Curiosity got the best of me, however, and I pressed the green answer button.
"Hello?" I asked slowly.
"Avalon! Hey, what are you doing tonight?" Decland's voice asked.
I thought for a second. It's Saturday and all I was planning on doing was sitting in my room and working on this song with Sin. Well, that was now ruined.
"Nothing. Why? What's up?"
"Do you want to go catch a movie and dinner?" My eyes widened to the size of golf balls. Was this a date? Was Decland finally asking me on a date?
Oh Lord, I'm going to start hyperventilating.
"Avalon?" his voice questioned.
I shook my head; silencing my thoughts.
"Uh, sure. I guess. But..."
"But what?" Decland asked.
"What about Aria? She will get mad, won't she?" I asked curiously. I know Aria and I know how possessive she is. If she found out... It would be a gruesome sight.
"We broke up," was his simple answer. Happiness flared through me, exciting each and every nerve throughout my body. I couldn't contain the large smile that infected my face.
"Okay."
"Really? Great! I will see you tonight. 7:30?"
"Yeah," I answered. As soon as I pressed the end button I let out the girliest shriek that ever left my mouth. I threw my phone on my bed and danced around happily, not caring how ridiculous I looked.
"Oh yeah! Uh-huh, mmm mmm, I gotta date! Decland asked me out, oh yeah! Uh-huh, mmm mmm!" I sang.
I stopped as I heard a slight buzzing noise. I looked at my phone to see it still lit up and with Decland's contact information on the screen.
My eyes widened as I tentatively lifted it to my ear once more. My cheeks blared red as I heard Decland's voice calling my name from the receiver.
Take me now, Lord.
"Avalon? Are you okay?"
I cleared my throat. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Okay. I thought something happened. I kept hearing weird noises and thud's. Okay, well see you tonight!" A click was heard after his voice.
I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding.
Looking at the clock, I saw I only had a few hours before I had to get ready. Unlocking my phone, I decided to call in reinforcements.
••••
"If you don't get laid tonight, I am going to have to believe he is gay," Tris said matter of factly.
I blushed an impossible heat and glanced at myself in the Mirror; I had to do a double take.
I had always known I was pretty- not to sound self absorbed- but I could definitely see it tonight. My green eyes shined under the nude colors that were painted on my eye lids. A black mascara rimmed my eyes and made them pop. A light layer of lip gloss coated my lips, making them shine under the light. Tris had dressed me in a pair of black leggings with taupe suede ankle booties and a long white silk shirt.
"Something is missing," she stated while tapped her chin.
I looked at myself in the floor length mirror on my en-suite door. After looking for a few more seconds, I ran to my closet and grabbed out two items before rushing back to the mirror.
"What about this?" I asked Tris as I tugged on a black leather jacket and yellow scarf.
She smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Does this not look okay?" I frowned. I quite liked it. It was different and cute in a chic kind of way.
"No, no, no. You look amazing. It's just..." She paused looking for the right words. "Are you sure you're dressing up for the right guy?"
It took me a second to realize who else she was talking about before my mouth formed an 'o'. I had almost forgotten I told her everything that's been going on with Sin.
Was I dressing up for the right guy? I think so. Decland and I had always been so close when we were younger. I had always had a crush on him, but believe he would never reciprocate and lower himself to my social status. But as I looked at myself in the mirror I realized that I deserve this chance with him. I deserve to see if he would be the right guy for me.
But Sin.
Sin was just... There- like a sore throat when you have a cold. Annoying, itchy and always seems to put you in a sour mood. But he had his good moments. He made me feel like I can do anything.
I used to love doing things like cliff jumping and Dingdong ditch; but I lost sight of that after ninth grade. I lost a big part of myself but he helped me dig it back up as soon as he walked back into my life. I never even talk about the wild things I used to do. It's almost like they were drowning in this good girl façade I was trying so hard to uphold; so much so that I would need to hide it just to save face for my perfect parents.
But maybe that is just a part of me I need to give up to get my Happy ending.
I think Decland would be good for me- he always had been. We are compatible on so many levels and he was with me through some pretty tough times. He is always so sweet and kind; he is perfect.
"Yes," I say nodding my head. "He is the right guy."
She gives me a tight lipped smile and nods.
She doesn't believe me.
But then again...
I barely believe myself.
Okay, so this chapter is short, sweet and kind of to the point. Avalon is really just she may or may not have a crush on her childhood bully. I know some of the timing might be a little weird and some might say 'How can she like him so soon?'
Well, they have known each other since they were kids! They may not have liked each other back then, but they still probably learned a few things about one another (refer to diner scene). Also, it has been almost two months since he came back to town! It is almost Halloween and he reconciled with her his first day back.
I know it has also time jumped a little here and there and I apologize, but if I were to put everything in day to day order; it would be over a hundred chapters long. I'm preparing to cut it down to AT LEAST 50 chapters, so I'm having to crunch a lot in. Sorry!
Anyways, we have had some reeeeaaaallly close guesses on who Talia is to Sin. You guys are really good and a lot of you are SO close. Like almost directly on the money! When I post the chapter that explains, I will put then who the winner is and you will see how close he/she was!
Until then
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