Mina’s POV
I woke up early in the morning from a cute good morning text from Chaeyoung. Normally, I’d be pissed if someone woke me up early, but I let it slide for Chaeyoung.
She also reminded me that the planned lunch with my friends was today. So I had to get ready for that now. It was early in the morning, and I’m certainly not a morning person. So I just washed my teeth and face, changed into jeans and a t-shirt and layed back in bed. I had like 15 mins before I had to leave, so why not have a tiny nap. Just as my head was about to hit the pillow, Dahyun barges in my room and jumps into my bed, sending me flying off of it.
Dahyun goes into a fit of laughter while I’m scolding her. To get her to stop laughing, I ask,
“So you and Momo? How’s that going?”
She stops laughing immediately and her face turns beet red, and she replies,”Noth…nothing at all. What do you mean by that? Like it’s not obvious right? Do others know I like her?” she blurts out.
It’s pretty funny to see Dahyun embarrassed, and I can’t help from laughing and I reply with maybe, which makes her turn even redder.
After waiting for Nayeon unnie to get ready, the three of us got in the car to go to lunch with the others. While looking out the window, for some weird reason, I got this uneasy feeling. I quickly dismissed it for hunger though.
When we got to the place, I got out and saw that the others were already there, and I went in and immediately hugged Chaeyoung from behind and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Everyone sat down at the table and ordered their food. Chaeyoung and I were discussing about Goblin which was on its last episode, which was pretty upsetting. Then I felt a light tap on my shoulder and turned around to see Yerin.
My heart dropped when I looked at her. She had a concerned look on her face and her eyebrows scrunched up like when she’s nervous.
“Mina, I need to talk to you please..”she pleaded.
Dahyun and Nayeon unnie immediately stoop up and glared at Yerin.
“Screw you Yerin. Why the hell do you want to talk with her?!” growled Nayeon unnie.
“Its business with Mina, not with you guys.” Yerin replied back.
“When you mess with our sister, then yes it’s our business too.” Dahyun added.
By now Yerin was getting pretty pissed off and looked at me again.
“Mina, I’m begging you. Please just hear me out.”she pleaded
I hesitated before saying, “Not now Yerin. Please just leave me alone.”
“I can’t. I need to tell you something important.” She replied.
“Well then goddamn say it.” Said Nayeon unnie.
Yerin looked back at me and blurted out, “I love you Mina. I’m sorry for everything I did.”
Everyone was dead silent. I could hear my own heart beat thump uncontrollably. She loved me? How the hell can you screw with a person so much and say you love them? Yerin was about to say more, but I cut her off by getting up from my seat and saying,
“Yerin let’s go talk outside.”
This was just too much of a personal thing to discuss with all my friends watching. Ofcourse I worried about what Chaeyoung might think, but I needed to settle things with Yerin first.
We walked outside and I could barely even look at Yerin. She sighed and said,
“Mina I know I messed up so much. I’m so sorry for everything I did. I know that I should have never left and I’m so sorry. Please let me make it up to you….”
I stopped her there because what she said infuriated me and made me want to cry my eyes out.
“You’ll make it up to me? How the hell are you going to do that? How are you going to make up for all the times I needed you and you were god knows where.” By now tears were falling down my cheeks.
Yerin got closer trying to wipe away my tears, but I moved out of his reach.
“Mina, please…please…don’t push me away. I’m sorry. I really am. I love you so much, please forgive me.” She replied.
“That’s where you’re wrong Yerin. You don’t love me. Because if you did, you would have never left at the worst time possible. I understand that you were grieving too. Okay. I understand its hard losing your sister. But Sinb was like a sister to me too.”
“Mina, this has nothing to do with Sinb. I love you and I just want you to forgive me so we can start over, please.”
“How can I forgive you Yerin? You left. Your sister died, and you never stuck arund! You left me alone, after telling me you’d always be there. I lost someone I loved too okay. I wanted Sinb die, and you don’t understand how much it haunts me, how much I hate myself for not saving her. You left me to take care of everything. I was the one who had to arrange Sinb’s funeral, all by myself.”
“I had to leave Mina. It just felt wrong.”she said.
“Wrong?! You’re kidding me. So it didn’t feel wrong, missing your own sister’s funeral?”
“For fucks sake, she was my stepsister. Okay. Everyone always loved her more, she always the better sister. Well I had enough okay. Even listening to it after he was dead too.” She blurted out.
My heart broke when Yerin said this. How could she? Sinb was such a caring sister, she alwasys there for Yerin. Sinb would always be the one idolizing Yerin.
“That’s not true. You were everything to me. I loved you Yerin. I really did, but then I found out who you really were after you unraveled. Not only did Sinb’s death break me, but you did too….Now, I can’t believe your back and asking for forgiveness and another chance. How can you, after everything.”
Yerin sighed and softened her expression. She tried to hold back her tears, and she walked closer to me. She softly grabbed my arm and tried to pull me in for a hug, but I deflected it by pushing her back.
“Mina, I don’t know what else to say but sorry. Please give me another chance.”
“You still don’t understand Yerin. I gave you so many chances. I wanted and hoped for you to come back. But after time passed, I had to get back to reality. And I think you’re struggling with reality too Yerin.” I sighed before adding. ”Yerin if you want forgiveness, then fine. I forgive you. But I can’t give you forgiveness for Sinb. And I can’t be with you, because being with you means going back through all the pain and heartache. I thought I deserved to feel that way because of not saving Sinb. But I deserve so much more, I deserve a chance at happiness.”
By this point, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my face. I could see some tears rolling down her cheeks too. This was one of the hardest thing to do, but whatever we had was long gone. We might have been good together, but know all we are is broken.
“We can’t have a redo Yerin. That’s not how life works. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and from the people that we’ve lost.”
After saying that I gave her a tight hug. I gave everything into this last hug because I know that it meant we were done for good. No more hating myself for Sinb or feeling empty and painful love for Yerin. I let go of her and said,
“I still wish you the best in life and you will always have a special place in my heart. But you and I weren’t meant to stay in each other’s lives. Goodbye Yerin.” I said trying to not cry.
I then walked away from her. Instead of going back into the restaurant with my friends and sisters, I just kept walking. I couldn’t face them, because I’m pretty sure they heard a lot. I just needed to be alone for a while. I needed to let what just happen sink in.