| REMINDER: ALL FLASHBACKS ARE IMPORTANT (the first flashback was in chapter 20), because it tells a lot of things about Yeonjun's character. |
Soobin woke up under the bedsheets, a pounding feeling in his head, and dryness in his eyes. He licked his chapped lips and looked around— and then gasped when he saw the familiar blue-haired boy beside him.
Yeonjun was sleeping comfortably on the same bed, shirtless.
Soobin's eyes widened. Oh god, did something happen last night?
Soobin quickly sat up, and tried to remember instances from the night before, but it all seemed like a blur. Nothing fit, everything was too misfit to be conjoined.
He gulped. He got up from the bed, and saw his clothes were everywhere. He quickly puts his boxers on, but before he could even do, he found light bruises on the sides of his hips.
He shrugged it off, and then pulled on his jeans and sweater, and he bent down to put on his shoes. Soobin's eyebrows furrowed when he saw a weed bong on the table.
Soobin looked at Yeonjun, who was still sleeping. Suddenly, he remembered. He remembered how drunk he was, how stupidly drunk he was.
All because he thought Beomgyu ditched him, and because he heard Lucy talking about how great boyfriend Yeonjun was.
And Soobin remembered, Yeonjun was never drunk. He wasn't. Now, Soobin remembers what the strange fragrance in the room was. Yeonjun must've smoked a lot the night before, but he wasn't drunk.
Yeonjun wasn't drunk, but Soobin was? And both were in the bed together— Soobin fully naked, and Yeonjun half-naked.
Soobin puts his hand over his mouth and rushed into the washroom, flipped up the toilet seat cover and threw up into the toilet.
He breathed heavily after lurching, and then flushed it and got up quickly, washing his mouth.
"Oh- you got up before me." A raspy deep morning voice came.
Soobin looked into the mirror in front of him and saw Yeonjun leaning against the doorframe, shirtless and wearing sweatpants. Soobin gulped and turned around, brushing past Yeonjun to get out.
"Let me guess..." Yeonjun snickered, and then looked at him, "You're mad at me?"
"Am I not supposed to be?! I was drunk as fuck last night, Yeonjun! I don't remember a single thing!" Soobin shouted.
"Oh, thank god." Yeonjun laughed.
Soobin frowned, "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?! Yeonjun, I don't know what you did, but I trusted you! I-I thought-" Soobin began, and then stepped away from Yeonjun.
"Wait- what?" Yeonjun began, taking a step towards him, "What the fuck?"
"Yes, what the fuck!" Soobin snapped.
"Listen, I was high as fuck last night. What I did and said was all bullshit, okay? I know that, you don't need to repeat it." Yeonjun said calmly.
Soobin frowned— how can Yeonjun be so fucking calm when Soobin is already freaking the fuck out.
Yeonjun suddenly chuckled, "Don't give me that look, Soobin. After what you told me last night— about some plan of hurting me? Wow, your guts." Yeonjun scoffed.
"That's not a fucking excuse!" Soobin snapped, opening the door of the hotel room, but Yeonjun grabbed his arm.
"Okay, I get it. I just got really angry." Yeonjun said.
"So you decided to take advantage of me?" Soobin said, and Yeonjun instantly looked at him, still holding his arm.
"Wait, what? What are you talking about?-" Yeonjun began, but Soobin pushed him away quite roughly, making him stumble back and fall onto the floor.
"Don't ever touch me again, you fucking asshole!" Soobin shouted, and then rushed out of his hotel room, and turned around and instantly met with Lucy.
Soobin's eyes widened. "Soobin-" Lucy began, but Soobin turned away and rushed off, brimmed with anxiety.
Lucy looked into the hotel room, where Yeonjun was on the floor. She walked in, closing the door behind her. There was a bit of silence.
After a few seconds, "That was you last night? Outside of my room?" Yeonjun asked in a mumble.
"How did you know?" Lucy chuckled.
"I saw your long hair, Lucy. You're the only bitch who knows nothing but to interfere." Yeonjun said, and then gulped, "D-Did you see what happened?"
"All of it, Yeonjun." Lucy said, and Yeonjun tensed, "Or whatever parts were important."
Yeonjun got up from the floor and looked at her, "Lucy-" He started, and then looked down, "Don't tell anyone! Y-You know it will ruin everything for me. It could get me kicked out of the football team-"
"I can't wait." Lucy teased, and then pointed her thumb towards the door, "You saw what that captain dude from the other team was doing last night. He thought no one saw him, but today I heard his teammates discussing about kicking him out."
Yeonjun gulped. There was a small pause, and then Lucy turned around, "It's disgusting, ya know? Because he was drunk, Yeonjun." Lucy said.
Yeonjun tensed, "I-I know. I know it's weird, but I didn't know you were there." Yeonjun said, "Lucy, seriously? Don't be one of those people that spreads shit around just because I broke up with you-"
"As if I want to get back together with you!" Lucy snapped, and then snickered, looking at him.
"You know what? Since last night basically confirmed everything, I'll say it. I slept with the goalkeeper from the Seoul team two nights ago and you're a fucking faggot!" Lucy snarked, and turned around to walk out of the hotel room, slamming the door shut.
Yeonjun's muscles tensed, fists balling up. He took a deep breath. No- No, I'm not. Yeonjun thought, he tried, he tried keeping it in. He sat down on his bed, covering his face with his hands.
God fucking dammit, his mother would be so disappointed.
Yeonjun grabbed his wallet and opened it to take out the small picture of his mother he kept. He took it out and felt tears brimmed his eyes, felt the warm salty tears slowly leave his eyes.
He wanted to say sorry.
But he couldn't even bear to look at her face, knowing the mortification she'd receive if she was alive. The mortification she'd receive from Yeonjun's father.
So he put the picture away and sighed to himself. Don't cry, he thought.
He remembered his father's harsh voice, "Men don't cry."
| hours later |
"Don't move around too much. Everyone was tired, let's try to not disturb anyone." The coach said, and everyone— the football players and cheerleaders, all nodded.
They were on their way back to the school. Everyone was either high, has hangovers, or simply tired from the exhausting trip.
They were more than glad their efforts had got them to win. The cheerleaders won the cheerleading competition too, so that was great.
Lucy was the captain, but everyone knew it was Ryujin and Eliza, who did 99% of the work.
Soobin sat with Beomgyu, head on the boy's shoulders.
Beomgyu looked down sadly, "Bin, I-I'm really sorry about last night. I saw you hanging out with Yunho, so I didn't think-" Beomgyu began.
He paused and then sighed, "I shouldn't have left. I'm so sorry, Binnie."
"It's okay." Soobin said, "You had fun with Ryujin, right?"
Beomgyu smiled a little, but still looked weary, not in the mood to smile, "Binnie, um— are you sure you're right about this thing? I mean, maybe you should talk with Yeonjun first?" Beomgyu said, and Soobin looked at him.
"I'm not saying you're wrong or what, but I know Yeonjun can't do that. He wouldn't take advantage of you when you're drunk. I mean, we know he's a scumbag, but not in that way, right?" Beomgyu said, and Soobin still looked unsure.
Beomgyu bit his bottom lip, "Taehyun told me he saw the captain from the Busan team touching you in the corner of the room, and Yeonjun punched him in the face, and then picked you up and left. The guy broke his nose. He had to be taken to the ER." Beomgyu said.
Soobin's eyes widened, "Really?! I-I didn't know that happened..." Soobin trailed, "But still, these kinds of boys who become captains, they think they have power over you and do things because they knew they'll never get backlash for it." Soobin mumbled.
"I-I'm really sorry about what happened, Bin. We should tell the coach, or the principal! Or we can call a gang and ask to beat him up!" Beomgyu said.
Soobin snickered, "Sounds fun."
"Aw! You guys look like boyfriends." Jongho teased.
Beomgyu frowned, but Soobin just sighed. He couldn't take it. He couldn't take the constant homophobic bullshit.
Soobin got up from his seat and walked past Jongho, and Jongho looked at him, raising his eyebrow, "Woah- no need to get so sensitive."
"Bold of you to assume I'll waste my time for you." Soobin snapped, and began walking towards the train carriage with the teachers.
Soobin suddenly heard footsteps come up to him, "Soobin, no!" He heard, and started walking faster, but then felt someone grab his arm, so he turned around. It was Lucy.
She was breathing heavily, "Don't tell the coach anything." Lucy said.
Soobin frowned, "What? You don't know what this is about-" Soobin began.
Lucy looked at him sharply, "I do. I was there last night." Lucy said, and Soobin frowned.
"I know how to lock pick, I did that because I thought Yeonjun was cheating on me, so I tried lockpicking into his hotel room." Lucy said
Soobin gulped, and Lucy looked at him, "I think we should talk. Let's sit down." Lucy said, and Soobin looked hesitant, but then saw Lucy sit down on an empty seat, so Soobin sat down beside her.
"I don't think you remember last night clearly." Lucy said, and then began explaining to him what really happened.
| flashback |
Lucy saw Yeonjun entered his hotel room, so Lucy waited for a few minutes, thinking how she could at least caught Yeonjun for cheating on her.
Lucy tiptoed while going to Yeonjun's hotel room, she tried twisting the door knob, but it was locked, so she took the hairpin from her hair and stuck it into the metal lock. She twisted it around, and then pushed it open ever so slightly.
She grinned when the door opened. She looked in, and her eyes widened when she saw Yeonjun.
Lucy's eyes turned into darkened slits. She knew it. She knew he was cheating on her! All this time, there was someone else!
Lucy looked. It was some short-haired bitch, but then Lucy gasped— it wasn't a short-haired bitch! It was Soobin!
Lucy peered, and then saw Soobin mumble something. She saw Soobin roll onto the bed, and then saw Yeonjun stand by the bed, looking a little distraught, a little confused.
"I-I thought you- um-"
Yeonjun began speaking, and holy shit! Lucy has never seen him stutter like this.
"I thought y-you did that because you wanted us to be fuck buddies again?"
FUCK BUDDIES?! THEY WERE FUCK BUDDIES?!
"No~" Lucy heard Soobin giggle, looking at Yeonjun lazily. "-only wanted to hurt you." Soobin slurred, and then giggled again.
She saw Yeonjun open his mouth, but no words came out. Yeonjun looked so vulnerable, so weak, so unlike himself.
She saw as Soobin took off all of his clothes and threw them all over the place, whining. Lucy was a little grossed out, but then saw Yeonjun pick up the pipe and climb onto the bed right beside Soobin.
"You were so easy, Yeonjunnie~" Soobin slurred.
She saw as Yeonjun traced his hand down Soobin's hip gently as he looked at Soobin, "Okay, tell me.." Yeonjun said, voice raspy because of the weed.
"...you're really drunk, right? You won't remember a single thing tomorrow, right?" Yeonjun said, sounding angry.
Soobin mumbled something about how he was going to pass out soon. Yeonjun only nodded and mumbled, "Good."
"D-Dan, I c-can't move-" Soobin said in a weak voice, and Lucy realized that it was Yeonjun's real name.
Yeonjun looked at Soobin, eyes solemn, "Sshh, baby. It's alright." Yeonjun whispered, putting his hand on Soobin's thigh.
Soobin closed his eyes for a little. Yeonjun leaned down and pressed a kiss on his collarbone, and a chaste kiss onto Soobin's forehead— and fuck, Yeonjun looked sad. He was about to fucking cry.
Soobin looked up at Yeonjun as his hand went to his hip, "A-Are you going to f-fuck me right now?" Soobin asked in a squeaky voice.
WHAT?! Oh, so Yeonjun was gay for Soobin, huh. Lucy thought.
"Ah, Soobin." Yeonjun chuckled, voice rough, "You know I can't resist you." He whispered, but Lucy still heard it, pinching Soobin's hip.
Soobin gulped and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
Lucy looked, forgetting that they might see her. She saw as Yeonjun looked at him for a little longer and then lay down on the bed beside him, looking at him like he was the prettiest human on the planet.
"You know I wouldn't be able to say no to you." Yeonjun said sadly, a little chuckle leaving his lips. He grabbed Soobin's hand, holding it tightly.
"You know I wouldn't be able to stay away from you, from your dumb pretty eyes, and stupid-" Yeonjun began, gulping down, voice slightly shaking, "-stupid bunny like self."
He was high, Lucy thought.
"That's why you wanted to hurt me, wasn't it? If you have any intentions of hurting me, it's fine. I deserve it." Yeonjun mumbled, and then nodded.
"God, I'm so annoying. I really did fall for your every move, and over a stupid Instagram picture too." Yeonjun chuckled a little.
I knew it, Lucy thought.
Yeonjun sat up, and now Lucy wondered if he was talking to himself, or if Soobin was awake.
"I could've killed that guy from the party. How dare he even think about hurting you like that?!" Yeonjun snapped, and Lucy saw Soobin reach out to touch Yeonjun's arm.
"B-But you s-scared me just now, Daniel." Soobin squeaked softly.
Yeonjun let go of Soobin's hand, and Lucy saw him get up from the bed, put the bong on the table, and then help Soobin sit up on the bed.
Soobin's hair was all over the place, and his eyes were glittering.
Yeonjun kissed his cheek, "Of course not, Bin." Yeonjun said, looking into his eyes.
"I know you wanted to hurt me, but I would never hurt you like that, never like that." Yeonjun said softly, and Soobin looked at him with his big eyes.
"You know what, Soobin? I'm not gonna hurt you like that, because you're the only one who treated me nice." Yeonjun said sadly.
"B-But you were touching me v-very rough." Soobin mumbled, lips turned into a small pout, looking down sadly.
"I get so overwhelmed, so I always ended up hurting you. I can't stay away from you, and I don't know why. I tried pushing you away, because I'm not good for you. I know I'm not." Yeonjun said, eyes looking so sad.
Soobin placed his hands on Yeonjun's cheeks, squishing them, "You don't like mee~" Soobin said, shaking his head, "You're just a mean mean mean! You're a meanie! You only like girls and-" Soobin began.
"-and Lucy. You loveee her, don't you?" Soobin asked, leaning in until their noses touched, Soobin's eyes big.
Yeonjun smiled a little, "As much as you love Jongho."
Soobin burst into giggles, falling onto the bed, "But I hate him!"
"Exactly." Yeonjun said, getting up from the bed.
Lucy frowned. Bitch, I'm here, I can hear you— Lucy thought.
She saw him pick up Soobin's sweater, which was on the floor. She didn't know why she was still watching, it was just... weird.
Yeonjun was acting like a different person altogether. She wondered if this Yeonjun right here is the real Yeonjun, because she never seen this side of Yeonjun.
He was never this lovey-dovey. He was never sad like this, and bet with her, no one in the whole campus has ever seen this side of Yeonjun, not even Yeonjun's group of friends. Maybe only Soobin.
"Baby, you should wear your sweater, you'll get cold." Yeonjun said.
Lucy grimaced, BABY?!
"No~" Soobin said, shaking his head, "I hate clothes!!" Soobin whined, and picked up his sweater and chucked it across the room, and then giggled when Yeonjun frowned.
"You know, for someone who just told me you purposely wanted to break my heart-" Yeonjun said, and then looked at Soobin "-you are being really cute right now."
"I'm not cute!" Soobin said with a frown, "Bitch, I'm adorable."
"Okay." Yeonjun sighed, and then lay Soobin down on the bed and grabbed the blanket and pulled it over him, tucking the boy in.
Yeonjun grabbed the bong and took another few hits. He smiled at Soobin, "You're the cutest boy in the whole world." Yeonjun said.
Soobin giggled, "You're acting weird, Yeonjunnie~"
"Yeah, I'm high as hell." Yeonjun mumbled, and then kissed Soobin's forehead.
"My mom told me that kissing someone in the forehead means they are important— so... am I, Yeonjunnie?~" Soobin giggled.
Yeonjun smiled, and kissed the boy again on the forehead, "Very."
They stayed like that for a few minutes, "Go to sleep now, baby boy."
"Okayyy. Tell Beomgyu..." Soobin mumbled, closing his eyes and getting all comfortable, "...to tell me tomorrow..." Soobin yawned cutely, scrunching his nose.
"-to be mean and distant to you on the train..." Soobin mumbled, falling into sleep, "....so you get sad.." Soobin trailed, words mixing together, "-and I get revenge..."
Yeonjun slipped his hands into the back of Soobin's body, making him wrapped his arms into Soobin's waist from behind. Soobin fell asleep onto Yeonjun's shoulder, while Yeonjun gently held Soobin.
Soobin fell asleep. Yeonjun stayed still for a few minutes, and then remove himself from the boy.
Yeonjun looked at Soobin for a few seconds, and then leaned over him. Yeonjun gulped and kissed the top of Soobin's head, and his forehead.
"You're very important, Soobin. Very." Yeonjun said, smiling a little, but his eyes were filled with tears.
Lucy gulped. She saw everything that happened, and it was all confirmed, and then she ran off.
Yeonjun fixed himself in the bed, watching videos of bunnies eating carrots for an hour while crying and then went to sleep.
| end of the flashback |
"W-What?" Soobin stuttered, "Wait— if you went away, then how do you know he watched videos of bunnies eating carrots while crying?"
"I made that part up, but he didn't take advantage of you, Soobin." Lucy said, leaning against the train window.
"He slept with almost every girl on the cheerleading squad. Every one of them told me he doesn't do anything until he has the girl's full consent and stuff. He may be an asshole at times, but he's a decent human person, at least." Lucy added.
Soobin gulped, "I-I don't know, Lucy. How do I know you didn't make all that up to save his ass?"
"Basically, he was cheating on me, and worst, fucking a guy from the football team! I could use this to blackmail him, so what the hell makes you think I'll do anything to save his ass?" Lucy snapped.
Soobin calmed down, knowing she has a point. After all, she's still Yeonjun's ex-girlfriend.
Soobin heard Lucy sigh, "I just didn't want you to think he did something so heinous to you. I know you hate me, and that's understandable, but you can trust me on this one." Lucy said, sounding more serious.
Soobin looked at her, "Thank you." Soobin said, "A-And I'm really sorry... um- for fucking with your boyfriend." Soobin added.
"Eh, it's fine." Lucy said, looking out the window, "I fucked with yours too, so it's cool."
Soobin laughed, "Yeonjun ain't my boyfriend."
"I'm not talking about Yeonjun." Lucy said, and then looked at Soobin, "I mean, your other one. Ya know..." Lucy said, and then nodded, "Beomgyu."
"What?!" Soobin shouted.
Lucy frowned, "Wait- Beomgyu didn't tell you? Yeah, we slept together some time ago."
"What?! What?! What?!" Soobin said repeatedly, confused about this information, "Wait- what?! When?"
"I don't exactly remember." Lucy mumbled, thinking about it, "Maybe... like two months ago?"
"That wasn't even that long ago!" Soobin gasped, eyes wide.
Lucy rolled her eyes, "God, you're so gay."
Soobin frowned, "Why are you so homophobic? All offense. I mean, I understand if you're just a simple teenager looking for attention, because all of us were like that."
"Um- I'm sorry, I guess." Lucy mumbled, looking at Soobin.
"Yeah, I'm gay and all, but that didn't give you any right to treat me like shit." Soobin snapped.
"Soobin, I'm really sorry. My parents are really traditional and stuff, I've been brought up thinking it's weird, but since then I entered this school, I saw a lot of bisexuals and gays and all, they seemed all happy, and... I'm kinda jealous? Uh— yeah... maybe I'm really an attention seeker." Lucy said, and then took a deep breath.
"O-Oh, I-I didn't know, but it's okay, I understand. Sometimes, the surroundings you live in makes who you are." Soobin said.
"Yeah, thanks. But I still don't like you." Lucy laughed.
"Eh? That's fine. I don't like you either." Soobin said, "But thanks for telling me. I mean, if you didn't, I would really ask the coach to kick Yeonjun out of the team."
"Yeah, I remember when he joined football, he was so lame. All he did was talk about football, and how his mother wanted him to be on the Seoul team." Lucy said, smiling genuinely.
"Many people made fun of him, and he started to change slowly. He became a real fuckboy when 8th grade started. Cold, mean, distant. Every girl's dream." Lucy said sarcastically, and Soobin giggled.
"I might not know him that well, but I know that football is his entire life. Ask him a question about dreams, football will never leave his mouth." Lucy chuckled, and Soobin nodded.
"Honestly, Soobin? I've only seen him so passionate about two things. First, football. While cheerleading, you can feel how Yeonjun's heart beats for the game. He plays like it will be the last." Lucy said, looking at Soobin.
Soobin hummed, and then tilted his head, "What's the other thing he was so passionate about?" Soobin asked.
Lucy looked at him, and for the first time, he saw a slightly soft smile.
"My ass."
"What?!"
"I'm kidding." Lucy snickered, "Of course, it's you. Last night, I knew that wasn't just the weed. You're the only one who he treated nice. I mean, he was so fucking gay."
Soobin glared at her, and Lucy huffed, "Okay, fine. Sorry."
Soobin looked down, biting his bottom lip. He was passionate about Soobin?
Soobin got up from his seat, "Nice talk." Soobin said, and then looked at her, "Lucy, don't tell anyone about Yeonjun. Only few people know and I know it'll break him if everyone finds out."
"Yeah, so I guess I'll delete the pictures I took." Lucy said in a joking manner.
Soobin frowned, "What pictures?"
Lucy snickered, "I'm kidding. By the way, who else knows?"
"Beomgyu. Mingi, a little bit, and well, Jake..."
"Jake knows? Wow, what the hell. That's why Yeonjun punched him, huh? That was hilarious." Lucy laughed, and Soobin shook his head.
"Wow, we'll never be friends. That's oddly comforting. I'm gonna go now, I need to have a strict talk with Yeonjun and... Beomgyu." Soobin said firmly and then walked towards his train carrier.
Soobin felt relieved that Yeonjun didn't take advantage of him, but— Yeonjun was passionate about him? What does that even mean?
———
"You know what, Soobin? I'm not gonna hurt you like that, because you're the only one who treated me nice."
Who are you, Choi Daniel?
today's date: 09/02/2020