"A second soul," said Kurama, lighting one of the sconces in the room, "May feel like an unwelcome guest, but what you must understand is that you are actually two sides of the same person. You need to learn to become aware of this other aspect of yourself in order to find a balance."
Rieka took a seat in the middle of the room, as Kurama lit the sconces, the corners of the room were illuminated and Rieka began to recognize where she was, "Why did you bring me to the meditation room?"
Kurama pointed to the floor, "Beneath us are the kami's remains. According to Genkai, this is the place it is easiest to draw Kanya out."
"I thought that was kind of the opposite of what we wanted to do."
Kurama knelt down in front of her and met her eyes. He was so close that Rieka felt her heart begin to race and had difficulty meeting his gaze, "One of my biggest mistakes was trying to separate myself entirely from Yoko. There was a time I wanted to live entirely as Shuichi Minamino and forget all the cruel things I had done in the past. But there were some nights I felt my demonic self beginning to emerge, and I didn't feel as if I could control it. I needed to accept both of my identities to be at peace. Even now, I know I won't stay in the human realm forever. When my family no longer has need of me, I intend on going back to Makai."
Rieka raised her head in surprise, "You do?"
Kurama nodded, and put a hand over his heart, "My human body will one day be gone, but my Yoko self will live on. I won't be able to fit in in Nigenkai forever, but," he said, tapping his temple, "Shuichi Minamino will live on in me. I can't say that something similar won't happen to you."
Rieka lightly bit her bottom lip. She didn't like the idea of a world without Kurama, any more than she liked the idea of one day leaving her own family. "Was it scary?" she asked, "For Shuichi, I mean. I feel like if I make space for this other...thing...I'll be losing a part of myself."
It was Kurama's turn to look away, "It was different for me. I had all of my memories from my past life from the beginning. For you, I can see how this might be scary. But don't think of it as losing a part of yourself, as much as it is discovering a new part of yourself."
Rieka inhaled and let out a slow ragged breath. She would be lying if she said she wasn't afraid of losing consciousness again, losing control over her own body. She willed her heartbeat to slow. She trusted Kurama, and knew that nothing worth conquering in this world was without risk. She met his gaze, "Okay, so what do I have to do?"
"I am going to put you into a trance state. I will keep talking to you, and I want you to focus on my voice and all the little sounds that are happening in the room. The air moving, crickets chirping outside, anything that helps remind you that physically you are here. Can you do that?"
"I'll do my best," said Rieka.
Kurama lifted up her hand and placed a small vial into it, "This is a tincture I made. Drink it, and you will enter the trance state. I have an antidote to it as well. If I sense you are distressed, or if you say the word 'foxtail' I will give you the antidote to bring you out of it. However, you may still lose consciousness."
"Got it," Rieka said, downing the first vial.
The rush to her head was almost immediate. It was a feeling like falling backwards out of herself, and into a dream. The vision in her mind's eye became clouded and she returned to the sense of being underwater, and saw the blue eye open in front of her once again. I remember this, she thought, staring at the eye. Vaguely, she heard Kurama's voice, as if it were calling her over a great distance.
"Rieka....Rieka..." it said, "...do you hear me?"
Rieka called out, "Yes," but she felt her words were garbled and lost in the sea of mist around her. She focused on the sounds she could hear. Remember you're in the room, she thought. She heard the crickets chirping outside and focused on that, remember you're breathing the air. She felt a change in her lungs, like emerging from a pool, "Yes!" she called again, "I hear you!"
"Good, but you can talk normally," said Kurama's voice, "I know it might feel like you're far away, but remember I'm sitting right next to you."
Even in a trance state, Rieka felt herself blush in embarrassment. She must have just yelled right in his face, "Sorry," she murmured.
"That's quite alright," said Kurama, "Now I want you to focus on finding Kanya. In your mind, she can appear in any shape you imagine her as. Focus, and picture yourself talking to her, and remember, your body is still in the room."
Rieka squinted out into the misty terrain. The blue eye above her had disappeared. The mist began to thin, and Rieka saw a thin trail of stepping stones appear on the ground before her. She followed them, until she found a woman sitting on a larger stone, surrounded by the blank white canvas of her mind. Rieka took a long look at her before she could speak. She was taller and more slender than Rieka was, with long flowing white hair. She was covered in armor, which gave off an aura that was positively angelic. The woman turned to look at her, and Rieka saw the glowing blue eyes which had appeared to her twice before.
"I see her," Rieka said to Kurama.
To Rieka's surprise, the woman spoke to her, "Come, child," she said, "Sit next to me." The woman, Kanya she supposed, patted the space on the rock next to her. Instinctively, Rieka obeyed.
"I understand you want to learn to share this little space of ours," said Kanya. Her voice was beautiful but cold, like bells on ice.
"Well up until now I've considered this my space, but I'd rather share than lose it all together."
The woman smiled, "I'm used to only being one half a person. It would be exhausting to be present all the time. So I'll tell you a little secret."
Rieka narrowed her eyes, unwilling to trust this person to hand over something so easily.
Kanya's eyes darted to Rieka, "You're wise to not trust me, but at least for the time being, I believe we share a common interest." In her mind's eye Rieka saw Izanagi's face, "I want this man dead. And I believe you know I have the means to do so, if you let me."
"I don't want him to come near me or my family again," said Rieka, "and I certainly don't want to be eaten, but I've never killed anyone before."
Kanya poked her in her chest, "Aren't you angry he attacked you and your mother? Aren't you angry at the things he wants to do to you?"
Rieka thought about that, "I was scared, and I was worried about my mom, but no, I guess I'm not really angry."
"There's your problem," Kanya said, "You've had a good life. You have good friends, good parents, a lot of people who love you. You've never had a reason to feel really angry about something before."
"I've been angry!" Rieka argued.
"I'm not talking about daddy made me give up ballet, I mean real anger," said Kanya, "When I watched over your father when he was your age, he was a kid who was filled with anger, and that fueled him."
In her mind's eye, she saw an image of her father fighting groups of boys outside of school. He still wore a school uniform.
"He had plenty to be angry about," Kanya continued, "His father ran out on him, he had to take care of an alcoholic mother who didn't think his education was worth the tuition she paid for it. His teachers thought he was scum and treated him like it. He had some good in his life which prevented him from teetering over the edge, but overall, he was angry." Sariel looked into Rieka's eyes again, "I'm the incarnation of vengeance and anger. Until you find something to care about enough to make you really, truly angry about it, you'll never be able to make room for me."
The mist around them began to darken, Rieka found themselves floating on the stone they shared in a sea of black, "What's happening?" she asked.
Kanya looked out into the darkness, "You stopped listening to what that fox-boy has been telling you some time ago. He's given you the antidote and you're falling asleep. Just remember, when you feel anger, true anger, that's when I'll be able to show myself."
Kanya's face was the last thing to fade to black before Rieka was left in complete darkness.
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