**The chapter below contains reference to drug usage. I don't recommend using drugs for any purpose other than that medically prescribed.... **
-CC
I saw her sitting on a bench, watching Ed pull out of the parking lot. She didn't look angry, just a little confused. Then the car hit the street and she was out of view.
All throughout the dance, I felt her watching me. The ocean blue couldn't be faded by the darkness in the gymnasium. Even when I was gripping Alexandra tightly, I knew her eyes were locked in. Somehow, knowing that she was watching, made me want to keep kissing Alexandra. I kept asking myself why she was basically staring at me all night, I pinned it on the fact that I had cursed at her during our last session. But then a part of me contemplated the idea that she was watching me because I looked good, and she couldn't help herself. It was probably not the truth, but still a possibility. After all, Thomas seemed convinced that she had feelings for me. I had my reservations, but ultimately it seemed way too far fetch for someone of her 'status' to have a thing for me.
Ed's Ford veered down the dark salt lake streets, it was nearing 9:30 PM and I was sitting alone in the backseat. My eyes darted forward when the blasting rap music came to a halt and I caught Ed glancing at me through the rear view.
"You all good back there Tan?" He asked in his monotonous voice.
I smirked before leaning forward on the middle console, he was dressed in whitewash jeans with rips and a black button up. His hair had grown out and was in wild curls across his head, but I bet the females went crazy for it. "Awe, are you worried about me?"
Thomas laughed as Ed tried to pay attention to both the road and our conversation. "Nah, you were just quiet back there."
"She's probably still thinking about Alexandra... or maybe, Ms Allen." Thomas joked and covered his face because he knew I was about to smack him.
"Damn, you gotta thing for your teacher?" Ed sounded impressed yet shocked.
I sat back again, there was nothing to be impressed about. The words came out as more of a whisper, "She's a bitch."
He must've heard me cause he laughed out loud as we came to a red light. The area we were approaching was flashing with bars and clubs. Neon lights covered the streets and the sidewalks were filled with slim women and well dressed men. I should've been excited, thrilled and hopeful. The entire dance Alexandra was amazing. We laughed and danced a little, then we went behind the stage and made out. She was slow with her kisses, but they were passionate and they drew me in. The way she grazed my bottom lip while tugging on my hair softly, the way her warm tongue roamed my mouth like a lost navigator. I wanted her in my bed. She would've been in my bed if it weren't for Thomas busting us because Ed showed up. I wasn't completely upset that he disrupted the moment, because there was a part of me that felt bad. Alexandra was a nice girl, she wasn't overly clingy like Gwen, but she didn't want to be a one night stand either. She wanted more from me than make outs and sex, I could tell just from the way she smiled at me. It was in her eyes, that deep longing that I had seen and crushed so many times. They all wanted me to choose them. To settle down and be in a committed relationship, even though they knew it wasn't something I could do. Not because I didn't want to, just because I... couldn't.
Suddenly the car stopped, but we weren't at Ed's huge house. We were outside of some kinda penthouse or condo. It was nearby all the clubs and bars, I guess you could say it was downtown. It was three stories high and the rent must've been obnoxious. "What are we doing here? I thought we were going back to your place?" I questioned as Thomas unbuckled his seatbelt and Ed cut the engine. The brown skinned boy reached underneath the leather seat and retrieved a backpack. He unzipped it and checked for something before closing it. Thomas seemed to know something that I didn't, maybe that was for the best.
We all stepped out of the vehicle and onto the crowded sidewalk. "We are, but I had to make a stop first. It's a party so you guys might like it!"
He led us towards the front door of the condo, knocking three times and then turning to face Thomas and I. "You guys look good. Just uh," his brown eyes looked around, "don't take anything that people give you, and don't ask questions." His words were more so directed at me, and I was beginning to put two and two together. We must've been at this party to deliver drugs. Ed was aware that Thomas had a history with using so he didn't need the warning, but I did. Suddenly a chill rushed up my dress, I tugged at the hem trying to breathe and relax. Fear wasn't what I was feeling, it was more concern. Thomas told me about his past and how he used drugs, but he never really told me how bad it was. I wasn't sure if him being in an environment surrounded by rich junkies was a good thing. There wasn't anymore time to turn away as the huge bolted door opened revealing a middle aged Latino wearing jeans and a tee shirt. He kind of resembled Thomas, with his smooth gelled hair and dashing smile. He saw Ed first and gave him one of those Bro hugs, then his eyes wavered to us two foreigners.
Ed pointed his thumb back at us, "These cats are dope, they know the drill." He sounded certain and confident, but the guy let his eyes linger on us for a moment longer before he finally settled and let us in. There was music blasting from two large mounted speakers, red couches were pressed against the walls and about 30 other people were just lounging around. But it wasn't the awesome interior design that caught my eye; it was the white power that was pretty much strewn around on every flat surface. It was like one of those crack houses you see on Law & Order, where the girls are sitting on the floor laughing with each other while snorting shit up. The guys are sitting in chairs like lords, staring at the sexiest woman in the room.
I followed Thomas closely, when the Latino guy pulled Ed to the side and whispered a few words. I saw his finger point in our direction and it seemed like he was making sure we were kosher. Again, Ed showed no doubt on his face and patted the guys shoulder. He then took the backpack off and was about to unzip it when the guy stopped him and motioned for them to go somewhere private. Now it was just Thomas and I, standing against a black painted wall like rebellious wallflowers. Everyone was too busy snorting, smoking, or drinking to take notice. Everyone besides one of the lordish men who kept gawking at me. I hated the way he smirked in my direction, like I was something he could eat. Thankfully he was on the opposite side of the room.
"Loosen up!" Thomas nudged my shoulder, and smiled a little.
"Shit dude, you didn't mention that we were coming here." I tried to speak above the rap music that seemed to only contain curse words.
Thomas shrugged, "These places are everywhere, just people wanting to let loose and chill," it was too dark in the condo for me to see his usually brown eyes, "But I didn't think you'd be scared."
I crossed my arms, "Bitch I'm not scared!"
He just laughed and made a 'sure' facial expression, "Right, so why aren't you hitting on any of these girls? And why do you keep staring at the dust on the tables?"
"You can't blame me for being a little shocked!"
"True," he shrugged, "but it's not anything to be surprised about. People do drugs, that's just life."
I turned to the side to face him, the way he had spoken those words was depressing. Obviously he was referring to himself when he said 'people', and I was worried that being here might be overwhelming. I decided to try and be a good friend, "You sure you're gonna be alright around all of this?"
He stared at me and I thought he was going to flip out, he just nodded before pulling me down a hallway. That hallway led us to a kitchen with floor to ceiling windows and gray cabinets. I was happy to see that the kitchen was empty. My legs hopped up on a stool as Thomas opened the stainless steel fridge. He pulled out two beers and shut the double doors, then went to the opposite side of the island counter and slid me one.
I cracked it open and took a sip. "How was your night with Miranda?"
A smile spread against his lips, "Amazing, It's still shocking that she likes me, but I'm fucking happy."
My head leaned down towards the granite counter, "That's great, you guys look good together." I hated the obvious sadness that was laced in my tone. Tonight was supposed to be a night free of stress and anxiety, but I was quickly realizing that my life would never be free of those things.
Thomas tapped his finger on the counter, staring at me with sympathy, "I wonder if someone in here has some Molly."
My head flew up from surprise. "What the fuck Thomas!?"
He shrugged and walked around the island, "What? I'm tired of seeing you so depressed over Ms Allen! You deserve a moment of happiness!"
I held up a finger in protest, "First of all, this had nothing to do with Emory Allen. Second of all, do you really think you should be doing Molly, I mean, considering your past?"
He rolled his eyes, "If you're calling her by her first name, then she's definitely a part of the problem. Also, no one said anything about me taking Molly." His eyebrow lifted and I took a swing of beer.
Just then a few girls walked into the kitchen, a little wobbly but smiling nonetheless. All three of them leaned against the counter and started laughing, "Did one of you say you wanted Molly?"
"I did actually, wow you have really good hearing!" Thomas flashed his million dollar smile and made two of the girls laugh, the third one just kept eying me.
"Well, you're both in luck cause I got some Molly." The one speaking was a red head with freckles. She stopped smiling and looked Thomas dead in the eye, "but you're gonna have to earn it." She put her hand on his chest and dragged it down to his belt buckle.
I waited to see if he would actually kiss her, especially considering how he felt about Miranda. He must've really wanted to earn that Molly for me, because he pulled her closer by the neck and kissed her with force. She moaned loudly and her friends whooped and laughed. I just shook my head until they were finished.
The red head wiped her lip and pulled a clear package from her clutch. She pushed it up against his chest, "You earned it."
He just took the bag and snatched me away down the hall again. This time we went inside of the guest bathroom. I shut the door and locked it, turning hastily to look at Thomas. He lifted his eyebrows in excitement, "Are you ready to get happy?"
I crossed my arms, "I've had Molly before, trust me, you don't want me to take this."
"Well I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to do, but honestly... I think this might relax you, let you loosen up and forget about Ms Allen for real."
This didn't seem like peer pressure, but maybe it was without either of us knowing. I knew Thomas would never try to hurt me, if I did take the Molly he'd protect me. I sighed and ran a hand through my brunette hair, I did want to stop thinking about all the guidance shit and how Ms Allen made me feel, but I wasn't sure taking drugs was the right way. Anything could happen, true, but what was the worst? Death? If death from an overdose was the worst possible outcome, then I wasn't afraid. There had always been a part of me that yearned for death, for freedom. Right now though, I just wanted to be okay. To stop worrying about my grandparents hating me, to stop trying to figure out what Ms Allen wanted from me and why she cared so much... I just wanted all the problems to stop.
My hand yanked the plastic bag from him, he watched as I opened it and slowly consumed the drug. I blinked a few times and then flushed the baggy down the toilet, my hands grasped the ledge of the sink and I found my face in the glass mirror. The drug wasn't instant, but I wished it was. I wanted to forget about the wrong I had committed, all the relationships I fucked up, all the agony I placed on those who loved me... I wanted to forget how bad I was.
Thomas turned me to face him, "It takes like half an hour to kick in, we should be out of here by then."
Something happened outside the bathroom. I couldn't tell what it was exactly but some girls were screaming like crazy and a guy was yelling to get the fuck out, get the fuck out. Thomas furrowed his eyebrows and swallowed hard, all I could do was try to make out through the music what people were saying. I could hear all the footstep indicating that they were running, but it wasn't until I heard the sirens outside that I freaked out. Someone knocked on the door hard and nearly screamed, "I'd get the hell out of there if I was you!"
"Fuck!" My eyes grew wide and so did Thomas's. We were stuck in a mode of panic, but my instincts finally kicked in and I grabbed the doorknob yanking it open. The place was a wreck. White powder dusting through the air, music bumping off the walls, spilled bottles all around. A few stragglers were left trying to make it to the back door, I followed after them considering the front door was exactly where the police were busting in. There was no time for me to be shocked at how fast my heartbeat thumped against my rib cage, or how closely Thomas was trailing me. Everyone was freaking out and yelling at the person in front to move faster. But the condo was fucking huge and there was no way we'd all escape from the same route, especially not when I could see police cars all scattered around the back and the front. Some had managed to get through the front door and were now running into the living room in search for us. My mind triggered me to turn the opposite way. I didn't want to leave Thomas, "Come on, we'll never get out the back!" He looked at me like I was insane, going back towards where the police were to try and find another escape. But getting out from the back with almost six other people in front of us didn't seem really promising. "Thomas! Let's go this way!" He was still hesitating and I didn't have time to wait. My legs became my brain as they ditched the hopeful line of druggies and stormed down the hall. An officer heard my steps and called out to his team that he was going after someone. I didn't know the ins and outs of this place, but there had to be a window or a basement with an exit somewhere. I didn't even have a second to think about my next turn or move, this cop was some sort of track star, he was right behind me with every weave and turn. I approached a door that had to lead to a basement, because if this shit wasn't a basement, I was most definitely screwed. I yanked at the knob and breathed heavily when I saw the stairs leading downward. With each step I took, my mind contemplated on whether or not I should run left or right. I had no knowledge of where the exit was in this basement or if there was one at all. My fate was left in the hands of hope.
As soon as I reached the bottom of the staircase, I knew I was in some deep shit. The only thing down here was a furnace and a washing machine. Absolutely no exit. The male cop tried to catch his breath while retrieving his handcuffs, "You almost got away."
I didn't say anything, just rolled my eyes and listened to my rights. Soon enough he had my hands cuffed and was pushing me back up the stairs and out of the condo. Outside was lit by all the cop cars, I scanned the area for Thomas or Edmund but neither of them were around. I was grateful but disappointed at the same time. Before I could see anything else the cop was shoving me into the back of his vehicle and taking off down the road.
Somehow this night had taken a drastic curve. I had no idea what was going to happen next, within a few moment I'd be high on Molly and probably behind bars. My family were all miles away and there was nothing that they could do without flying all the way down from Atlanta.
My head fell back against the leather seat, as a waited to find out what was to come.