You can imagine how our daily routine works now, hospital then home, hospital then home, a cycle of living that we chose. The hospital was getting less patients which meant less challenges. Haven't I told you before, the easier the life, the less challenges and fun you face.
A lot have assumed that because of summer vacation that is why there are less patients. Which does not make any sense... patients are everywhere! Honestly, my reason is because nobody elder wants a Muslim Doctor that too there misunderstanding is that all Muslims are brown skinned colour, which drives me crazy. However, the girls and I did not care any more about the hospital.
Especially because – Well, remember our admission to PB's hospital! And the email that said June 31st is when we start, today is the day.
My brother thankfully got a new job, see hope and prayers work. Leave it up to god, and you are set on the right path.
"Oh my god, I can't believe we are going, Subhanallah" Maryam exclaimed. We were at our lockers clearing our things. Interns had scanned us several times very confused. We decided the best thing to do is clean first, and then meet with our attending, and chief to say our good byes, and the best of "luck" for this hospital. The luck is really for this hospital to get a life.
It didn't take too long, I guess people didn't care much – but boy our chief was dreaded down from leave. It was said that this hospital kept on losing the great doctors. No not just Muslims, but other cultures aside of white. It's not just us "Brown" people who have a lot on our plates, its blacks, Asians, and Mexicans... what not. Not to sound all crappy, but really white is probably the most freed and ungrateful culture I've ever seen. Which is in my opinion to what I saw, but as you can see I am not aware of them a lot... so not going to judge, because white people are good too.
What can I say? Every culture has there good and bad. Remember culture not religion.
Time flew by in mili-seconds, on approaching PB's Hospital. The hospital stood out in its surrounding, speaking out the best for it. No wonder, the traffic towards the hospital was packed.
"Oh Allah, let us enter in peace" Maryam wined, sitting beside Zayna the driver.
"Exactly!" Zayna yelled, honking the cars in front of her.
"You know what?" I got up opening the door, "Imma make that person move!" Before I could let my friends do that absolute right thing, my mind went on its own. I made my way to a red car, and knocked on the passenger side.
"Yea - "
"Can't you move? You have space, there are doctors who need to get into the hospital! Now hurry up!" I reckoned towards the young man who stared at me, oddly peacefully.
"Ma'am" He called out before I could leave.
My eyebrows shot at him calling me ma'am I was furious, assuming he knew my name at the time. "There are cars in front of me too"
I gulped down nervously, realizing it was stupid to say that because yes! There were cars right in front of him, and my blind brain decided not to acknowledge that. I was too awkward out to utter a word, instead I stormed back into the car.
"Aiyla, you know there –
"I know" I sighed cutting of Hana. The truth is when I get annoyed at times I'm very weird. I'm not so cautious about the other party, and decide to blabber nonsense out. That is one of my most embarrassing flaws that I try to avoid. Especially when dealing with haters, I've got good at it – well, kind of.
At last, the car in front of us moved.
We managed to find a parking lot in our staff area, getting out the quick cold breeze went over us. It was cold, in July, how real? But the clouds hovers over the sun, gloomy day had begun – almost as if it was going to rain, though it did not dare shed a tear.
The town where we lived – Greenwich – is filled with greenery. The rain occurs mostly here, and it has most of the attractions, on the roads you'll probably find tourists. But overall, 250,000+ residents live here, so it's not that small of a town, and PB's hospital is the only best here.
However, back to the weather, they either made me happy, or moody.
Today, I need to happy – but my emotions decide to take turn to the opposite direction. Walking in the hospital was a new portal, a new portal to a new beginning. As it says, every end is just a new beginning.
"So... in this email it says 6th floor, room 908 (Interns Lounge)" Zayna read out the email portrayed on her phone.
6th floor was the main surgery floor, alongside we had 5th and 7th that also played along with the surgeries. Each corridor contained its own specialty, but surgeons even in their own specialty had to work in other areas also.
Other floors consisted of other doctors like, radiologists, pharmacists, general physicians, and much more. Which are all doctors in their forms.
"Elevator!" Zayna points out ahead of us.
This hospital was lavished with fresh scent, as if it was made just yesterday. Floors were spotless, everyone looked happy – happy to be at a hospital, actually though. This hospital contrasted with white walls and bluish glass windows almost everywhere. Even the elevators were made of glass, which does give me the creeps. Imagine it breaking, or falling. Probably not the best to think of when getting on to one.
We arrived inside the elevator, waiting for it to head to the 6th floor. "I hope I get a girl attending" Hana mumbled, we all agreed upon her.
Getting a guy was no wrong or anything, since it was for professional reasons anyway. However, it's just hard to work with them, they either want to give you a hug, make you their friends, shake your hands, and or will eventually start liking you. In my thought – or some people thoughts it's hard to be friends with a guy and not think otherwise.
If you are friends with a guy, and you're telling me you never had a time where you thought otherwise of them, or even vice versa, I don't believe you. – If you are like that then I'd just love to have your mindset.
The glowing yellow lights arrives to the 6th number followed by a ding, as the elevators open. Everything happened from now, was all in slow motion. We exited the elevator, and suddenly my body is crashed harshly by a large body mass, jerking me back on the ground. Worse part, I tried to stop my fall with my elbow, yet I scrape it painfully instead stinging every second. "Are you flipping kidding me?!" I whip back to see a group of young surgeons running their way across the hall.
I could hear the girls giggle across from me, huffing out an annoyed air, I get up dusting off the imaginary dirt that laid on my clothes. My eyes snap to Bilal standing their covering his hand with his mouth, trying to avoid a fitful of laughter. Oh how awkward this was, I face palm myself feeling a flush of pink rise on my cheeks.
"Oh my god, a – are you okay?" Zayna giggled coming towards me.
"I'm fine Alhamdulilah" I sighed, pursing my lips. I can feel my body sinking inside to the core out of embarrassment, - I – Aiyla – hated being embarrassed. But what can I say, I am also known as the queen of embarrassment.
"You made Bilal laugh!" Maryam gasped in shock.
Why was it a shocker?
Well Bilal was one of the most serious guys, whom we all assumed had his laughed saved for the love of his life. It was too precious to be seen, but I guess it's not he just is like that.
"Ooo, someone's going to be his future wife" Hana remarked laughing.
She was out of her mine, Hana is one of those friends who is so open, and just feisty. No wonder, all the bad boys had fallen for her in med school. Bad Boys in Med school?! Ofcourse!
"Ew! Never" I winced punching her arms playfully.
"Ehm" Bilal cleared his voice, immediately catching all of our attentions. "I'll show you to your lounge"
With his lead we followed him through the halls, and came face to face a door laminated with a golden header. 'Interns Lounge- Girls Only'. My eyebrows shot up in disbelief. It's not every day you get to see a girl only "room", especially in a public area.
"Your attending's will be arriving in a few minutes" He said, letting us be. We all head inside, the room is again outstandingly clean. The laced with red soft carpet on the floor, and greyish blue sofas seated in the middle, bordering a glass table. Walls are painted – giving the auro of the sky – greyish blue.
"Wow it's so nice" I muttered, looking around.
Our lockers were more like cabinet shaped hugging the walls. "Hello girls" A quite voices beamed behind us. We turned around to face a group of young girls, must be our age, two were white, one was sure to be Asian, and the other I believe Hispanic.
"It's so great to meet you guys" a blonde one approached with the most dashing smile on her face.
"You too" I smiled, shaking her soft hands, No doubt she was undeniably gorgeous. Her eyelashes were perfectly thick that hovered over her green eyes, and her hair was pure golden brown that slicked straight till her shoulders.
"My name is Addison"
"I'm Aiyla, and these are my friends, Zayna, Maryam, and Hana"
"You guys are gorgeous, by the way my name is Grace" Another girl spoke up. She was a bit short, but also pretty, she had black hair, brown eyes, and pale skin. The other girls introduced themselves and we started to get talking. It was a fun moment, we all laughed, did out girl talks, and just chilled whilst waiting for our attending.
The day was going by well, and the girls had to leave eventually as their pagers started to ring. I had a good feeling about today – something inside of me was jumping up and down in happiness. As if rainbows were finally sparking in my heart.
"They're taking forever" Zayna groaned, laying back on the couch.
"Probably just busy talking about how much they hate interns" Maryam giggled.
"No, guys... they are Attending's they have work to do." I added on.
A knock on the door bellowed across the room. We all looked at each other, smile springing on all of our faces. Upon the door, a woman approached. "Hi, my name is Dr. Keen, I am the cardiology attending, which one of you is Hana Noor?" She shrieked.
Hana arms raised up immediately, squealing excitedly. She had no idea what she wanted to go into, but Cardiac was across her mind. Hana bid her goodbyes and left the room along with Dr. Keen. Along with that one by one my friends faded away with their lucky girl attending. Now, seeing them get a girl gave me high hopes, I waited a while for her, and again waited, and waited.
'Who the hell takes this long' I thought to myself. My body was getting so drowsy, and sleepy. With the massive headache slowly taking over my head, I snuggle down on the couch and sleep took over me.
It wasn't until late my beauty sleep was ruined by a loud bang on the door, I jolt up horrible on the couch causing my head to throb up in pain.
"Hello?!" A deep male voice radiated behind the door. It took me a few minutes to realize I was in the hospital.
Clearing my throat I hesitated to speak, hoping my voice doesn't come out as groggy. "U – Uhm Yeah?" I managed to say, quickly running to the mirror, I re open my hijab and quickly re-do it properly. 'Okay so my face doesn't look so bad, yeah I look good' nodding my head as I agreed to my inner soul, I grabbed my equipment's.
"I'm your attending, Y – You weren't responding, so I though you we –
Before I could let my 'male' attending speak, which I mentally face palmed myself cause I wanted a girl one! I rushed out the door, and glided right into his broad body. 'Astagfurillah! Astagfurillah!' I oddly continued to mutter my head, my eyes were closed out of discomfiture, I don't why I did that, I was... I'm dumb if you haven't noticed.
My eyes peel open, biting my lower lip I look at the guy sheepishly. 'Oh My god' My mind was baffled. His green eyes met mines, and suddenly lowered his gaze, looking at his pager. His face with no emotions was now filled with shock.
I however was still mortified, he was the same guy I yelled at, he was the same guy whom I bumped into, and he is the head of neurologist. My thoughts were all over the place, and before I knew it he made a run, which my instinct were to run and follow him.
Follow me!" He yelled, making a run down the hall. "We have a huge, and I mean massive aneurysm to clip, have you ever done one?!" He asked whilst we still ran down, to I did not know where.
"U-Uhm no..." I stuttered.
"Well, you're in luck. Today is your day. Read the charts and get to know about the patient." He passed me a yellow file. We finally made it to the door, and ran inside right in front of the patient.
"Hello, Clara my Name is Dr. Hamza Aasim, Call me whatever you like! you said you wanted me – immediately?" He spoke to her softly, with the biggest smile on his face. He was so invested on the patient, I was in disbelief, normally doctors just want to get over with the surgeries, but this man took his time.
"I'm scared" Clara squealed.
Reports showed a 13 years old girl, in her pre-teens. She has had many brain surgeries in regards to her loss of function on the legs. Surgeons have managed to get some function, yet are still working on it. So far, she has had about 5 surgeries, her 6th one is yet to come. Though, due to her sudden seizure and collapse, it is appointed that Clara is grown a large mass of aneurysm lateral ventricle, which can lead her to cardiac arrest anytime soon. Letting out a huff, I look up at the poor girl who was being comforted by Dr. Hamza.
"Don't be, you see that girl over there" his fingers followed towards me.
I could feel a flush of pink rise over my cheeks, "she is amazing"
Butterflies whooped around my stomach. I must have picked up 'mashallah' from his voice lightly, however I didn't hear. I was just so shocked, because no one really ever, mentioned about me nicely or in a nice tone. In our old hospital the doctors definitely tried convincing them, but they wouldn't let them talk. He – however, this girl, I mean she is so kind.
"You think you can do it" she looked me. My gaze matched with hers. A smile approached my lips as I look at the hope full girl. She had courage, something we love to see in patients.
"Of course" I smiled. "I am sure I can do it"
Giving patient's confidence is always the right thing to do, even though you may be at lost. This is my first aneurysm to clip, and my first surgery in a neuro team. I gulp down nervously as I fiddle with my fingers nervously and bit my bottom lower lips. Something I do when I am scared to hell. I could hear my heart pounding, and sinking in once in a while. If people watch me fail, especially Dr. Peters, I could get fired!
I backed out of the room, allowing everyone to prepare her for surgery. Inhale and Exhale I told myself, keep calm, so everyone knows you can actually do it. Plus, I was going in surgery with the head of the neuro, how crazy is that?!
"You'll be fine, inshallah" Someone says behind me. I turn my head to meet his gaze again, to my disbelief he was a Muslim! His pale skin, green eyes did not quite give me the hint he was. Yeah, I'm so dumb, his name could be, but now everyone has names that are mixed. For example, Adam, you will find so many of those.
I nodded my head in agreement, muttering 'inshallah' under my breath.
Once the patients bid her good byes to her parents, she was lying down peacefully in the OR. Dr. Hamza, some nurses, and I all scrubbed in prepping for the surgery.
"It is very important that we keep her for a week, so we can watch if it ruptures, or if there is any bleeding." Dr. Hamza informs us all.
I knew with this sort of doctor I was absolutely going to do well on my board exam. I have like 2 months for it, and yes the girls and I have started out studies, but the board exam will also consist of MMI, which are mutli – mini- interviews. Those are horrifying, I remember doing one for getting into med school, and they all were serious. No one smiled!
Is smiling such a bad thing.
Whatever. People are like that I guess. Like Bilal.
"Dr. Husain W –
"Please call me Dr. Aiyla" I told one of the nurses. I didn't mind being called by my last name, but let's just say, it bring a lot of memory.
"Alright, Dr. Aiyla where will you want us" she asked, the nurses and other surgeons had all eyes on me.
"Uh –
I didn't know exactly what to say. I didn't want to ask him for help, so I guided where I'd like the nurses and other doctors to be. The anesthesia was given to the girl, as soon as she drooped of too sleep that is when we began. I could feel everything zone out around me, and just surgeons, and nurses staring through my soul. I stood in front of the girls head, as the other were covers by blue cloth.
Cracking my knuckles, I jiggled my finger to stop the shaking of my hand. 'You can do this, Aiyla' My eyes shut, taking in a big breath to relax myself.
"Scalpel Please"
A metal thin cold blade is placed on my hand, almost haunting me with chills. A sudden sooth calm washed over me, it wasn't the blade in my hand, and it was the recitation, the recitation of a Dua. I look over to my right to see the neuro head reciting duas aloud in front of everyone.
"Rabi shrahli sadri wayasirli amri wahlul ukda tam mili thaani yaf kao koali" Dr. Hamza recited.
He did not care what people thought, did he? How unbelievable.
Saying my own in my head, my hands tremble towards the exposed head. I dig my scalpel inside the skin with just the amount of pressure, making a "u" shape, whilst following the drawn line. As soon as I was done, the blood oozed out, one of the nurses quickly grabbed towels and started patting the incision. A relief of breath escaped my lips, to see I had not made any mistake. Then came the most disgusting part.
We were given a goggle type machine to look into, as it gave a precise look on what's happening inside. The brain consists of so many things, and the vessels are undeniably tiny.
This is when Dr. Hamza moved in forward, grabbing the skin – to make room a metal bar was place stretching out the skin, and exposing the one and only – baby pink brain. It was so squiggly, and jelly like.
"Okay, so you see here Dr. Aiyla" He informed me, stepping in a closer. My breath hitched to how unexpectedly close we were, I took a step to the side and I guess he realized that he accidently was too close, he murmured a story and stepped back. "This vessel... right here"
The tool, squeezed the brain to one side exposing a red artery, alongside it had massive balloon filled with blood. The walls were so thin, that it was sure to rupture anytime soon. "This area is where we will clip" he pointed just under the balloon. The nurses gave me a metal took that had almost like safety pin hung on it. This was it, I was going to clip an aneurysm!
My tremble hands managed to quiet down, i didn't want to poke any other vessel. Things were going fine, I was just about to clip the aneurysm, until.
Shit.
A/N: longggg chapterrr ayeeee! So... what do you think of todays chapter. What do you think happens nextt??
My dad just got me a macbook and im so so so so so happyyyy! Best mini laptop for university starting in september... oh god... GUYS SCHOOL!
Whose excited for school? So since, I'll be off to university, my schedule is HECTIC, so the update may or may not slow down after school, but don't worry inshallah ill do my best to continue this book.