Jessica's P.O.V
I heard the doorbell ring, maybe thrice this time. I can't believe I slept so deep.
I quickly wipe my face and make a messy bun walking bare feet.
I open the door and I swear my hear skipped a beat at the view.
It was him. After so long, it was Zayn, it was My Zayn.
He looked no different from me, he looked pale. His eyes had bags under them, he had that untidy beard on his face, sleepy hair but still his one look took my breath away, I was standing there just staring at him in awe. I don't know what was stopping me to hug him and kiss him. I wanted to, I needed to but something was pulling me back, something inside me stopped me. All I could do right know was to hold back my tears.
"Zayn" I manage to whisper
He said nothing but just stared at me like he hadn't seen me for years, I could see through my eyes how broken he was. How awful he felt, how incomplete he felt. His feelings were same as mine.
"Hi, Jess" he finally said, I couldn't hold my tears.
"Hii" I replied wiping them away
"I wanted to deliver this" he said handing me the bride's maid dress, "everyone was busy so Pat told me to deliver it to you" he added
"Is that all?" My voice came out like a taunt.
"I don't know what to say Jess, I miss you and I love you but Louis loves you too, not more than me but he does, the choice is yours not mine, it's yours. I really miss you" he said moving closer.
I put the dress aside and moved closer to him and he suddenly held me in his embrace.
His arms held my waist tight as my hands moved up to his neck and my head sunk in his chess as I start to cry, I've missed this, I love him and only him. Louis is a friend that's all, I love Zayn Malik and no one else. I wanted to say a thousand words but none came out.
Zayn's hand travel up to my hair as he hush me.
"Hush, babe. Pretty girls don't cry" he whispered as he moved away. He wiped my tears.
"Zayn, I-I" I tried but nothing came out.
"Save it for tomorrow" he said placing a kiss on cheek and he went away.
I closed the door and took the dress up in my room and placed it on my bed.
I changed in comfy clothes and went down to make dinner. I thought I'll make mac and cheese with salad.
As I started the process of making food, thoughts hit my head hard. Zayn thinks I love Louis or maybe he's not sure about it.
Something made me feel unsure about Zayn.
I loved him, and I wanted Louis as a friend? Is that all?
I asked myself. I was confusing my own self. I mentally slapped myself telling me, I love Zayn. But did I feel that really? Or I felt this way only because I saw him after long?
I quickly put both the dishes on table along with the garlic breads.
I heard the doorbell rung, I quickly opened it and saw Justin with a bottle of wine.
"Wow, I smell food" he said stepping in and giving me a kiss on my cheek, I returned the favour.
"Yeah, I made it, well I smell wine?" I hit his hand playfully
"Yeah babe, I'll just get the glasses, you sit and wait" he said pulling a chair out for me.
He got two wine glasses and pour wine in them. He looked tensed.
"What happened? You look tensed?" I asked as I took a sip.
"Um, nothing just some new album stuff! Never mind, your eyes look rather puffy. Been crying?" I looked down at his question.
"Zayn came by today." I say with a certain coldness in my tone.
He nearly spit his wine in the table, "WHAT?!" He shouted.
"Justin, don't shout" I tell him
"But Jess that asshole can't turn back, I swear I'll punch his guts off-" I stop him
"Justin, it's not his fault, please have your food, we'll talk about this later" I cut him off
"Ok" he whispered in annoyance.
We quietly had our food, I just had a glass of wine, while Justin was in a mood so he continued his drink. He seemed confused, but not as confused as me. I don't know what to say. I mean if course I love Zayn. But Louis is a good friend too. This will be really hard, really hard. After we had our dinner we sat on the sofa. I was having coffee while he continued with his wine. I told him everything, what actually happened and how confuse I felt.
"But he never tried to explain Jess" he said sipping his wine.
"Justin, I don't know where is my phone, he must've tried." I sigh, I put my cup on the table while my hands cover my face, "I really miss him but if I chose him I'll lose Louis" I sign
"Listen Jess, you can't get everything you want in life. Learn this lesson, I'm telling you this from my experience and do what your heart says then everything will be just fine" he said
"True, btw will you drop me to the venue tomorrow? Please?" I ask him
"Ha, sure love!" He said kissing me cheek.
We both said goodnight to each other and went in my room, I wanted both but I needed one and now I made up my mind on that one. I know him. Now let's see what happens. With this thought I drift in deep sleep.
I heard my alarm, as I get up. Out side the windows I could see the beautiful day. Today I felt special, I felt happy. I've felt this feeling before, like it's a new start.
Yawning I move into the washroom taking all my clothes off and looking at myself in the mirror, I've really become skinny. But I don't care because I like being skinny. Pattie thinks if I'm happy with myself then I shouldn't listen to what people say, it's true. All it takes it to be happy with your own self.
I scrubbed myself and wash my hair.
I wrapped a towel around myself and went in my room, I opened the dress and stared at it at awe.
It was the most beautiful dress if every seen.
I quickly dry my hair and make a side braid-bun. I keep my eyes simple, with mascara and eye showdown matching with the dress.
With excitement I get in the dress. It was so beautiful. It was a tube gown, it had shimmer till my waist then it fell down till my toes or a little more than that. I wore my 6 inch heel.
I grabbed a final look at myself in he mirror and I felt something was missing. I opened my jewellery box and take out a pair of earring Justin gave me on my 15th birthday.
I finally go down and look at Justin having his coffee.
"So?" I asked him
"I-I" he stopped
"I what?" I asked
"You look breath-taking Jess" he said hugging me, "come on let's get you there" he said getting out of the house and going towards his car.
"Okay" I reply as I follow him.
The wedding wasn't happening at a church it was happening at the very famous waterfall park. It was gorgeous. The drive was just 5 mins away from Justin's house.
"So I'll see you later?" Justin said
"Yeah" I blew him a quick kiss before moving out of the car.
As I stepped out I say Zayn on the left side of the entrance and Louis on the right. My heart was beating louder than usual. But I knew my choice. I knew who I needed the most.
I started walking, and my foot led me to the right side and I hugged Louis.
_______
Another chapter!
YAYAYAYAYAYAY!
So guys I'm really sorry for the stupid errors I've made I wrote it real quick.
Just another chapter and it'll be all. I can't imagine it's gonna end.
Guys have you read 'love, your secret admirer...' By LovedOnes it's brilliant!
You should really read it, because it's a book I wish I wrote! xx