It's legit been a month almost but it doesn't feel like it. I'm so busy its like I be turning around and a month go by. If it seems like I'm leaving you all hanging. I promise I'm not. Anyway, sorry for any mistakes and enjoy everyone.
-CV
**********************************************************************************************
Monica
"Are you fucking serious Monica? It's not what I think! That's the best answer you got? With bite marks on your body that I know damn well I didn't put there." He yelled again not caring who heard them. I was caught I had to say something, but what would I say. My head was spinning and I couldn't think straight.
"Christian, please. Stop yelling, it's really not what you think. I can explain, I..."
"Monica," He cut me off. "So you're trying to tell me that these aren't fucking bite marks" He asked continuing to yell.
"Hey, is everything alright in here?" The nurse came in yelling. My face was red and tears were streaming down my face. I nodded slowly. "I can't have you yelling in here students are trying to rest. If this behavior continues I will be forced to call the principal." She finished with her eyebrows raised and finger pointing back and forth from the two of us.
"No need, I was just leaving." He said walking out bumping into me in the process. I ran after him but, the bell rang and I lost him in the crowd of students. I swallowed the tear that escaped from my eyes as more began to rapidly fall. I sat in the nurse office a short while longer until the lunch bell rang. I was starving and was going to use this time to talk to Christian. I would be leaving after to see Ava but I had to talk to him. I couldn't have him mad at me like this. I can't believe he wouldn't let me explain myself. I didn't have a clue as to how I would cover this. I was caught. I had to either come clean about my uncle sexually abusing me for two years now or possibly lose the best thing that ever happened to me. As I walked the halls I couldn't help but think was his reaction would be to my news. He would probably be furious and want to hurt if not kill my uncle. With the future he had ahead of himself. I couldn't let him do this. I wouldn't let him do this, not for little old me. But what was the alternative? Not tell him. Then what? He would break u with me and I would be the laughing stock of the school again. This would be the safest option for most the parties involved. I had to do what was best for Ava's safety, mine and Christians as well.
Walking into the lunch room felt weird. I felt stares, and I knew it was from my tear stained face that I tried to wipe clean before coming in here. I walked over to Kayla who had joined Christian's friends at their table. I sat down and everybody spoke which meant Christian didn't say anything to them. I noticed him walking to the table and not even look my way before sitting down. My heart sank seeing him this upset with me.
"No, I love you, I miss you?" Shawn asked surprised.
"No hey baby, sit on my lap?" Tray said.
"Oh shit, what happened." They both said in unison. I looked down avoiding everyone's gaze.
"Nothing, she getting comfortable on somebody else lap." Christian mumbled. No one heard him but me.
"Christian," I started to talk but, he cut me off again.
"Monica, I don't want to hear anything you have to say." He said. Everybody at the table was surprised and now asking what happened.
"Woah, Bro! What's wrong with you two?" Shawn asked.
"Monica, tell them. You want to tell them, or should I?" He asked yelling. His brown skin now turning red. I could feel the tears welding back up into my eyes.
"Baby, don't do this. Can we please just got talk alone. I just want a chance to explain myself." His face softens a little and he removed from his seat at the table and walked out. I looked around the group quickly and all but Kayla were looking confused. I think she kind of assumed what was going on. She looked away from me tears starting to weld in her eyes as well as I made my way after Christian who was now outside of the cafeteria. I saw him leaving the building and to his car which I happily made my way to sitting in the passenger seat.
"Talk." He said once we were both finally in.
"Christian, baby I'm not cheating on you. I swear I would never. That mark isn't from me cheating on you, I promise, you have to believe me." I said between tears. It sounded a lot better when I was thinking of what to say but after it sounded pretty unbelievable.
"So, who did it Monica?" He asked calmly. "Just tell me the truth. I promise not to me mad." He said caressing my hand. My thought drifted to Ava. I couldn't jeopardize her safety. I would never forgive myself if she got lost into the system.
"I can't tell you that." I stuttered, putting my head down.
"You can't tell me!" He repeated, banging his fist into the steering wheel. I flinched.
"I can't, you have to trust me." I said tears falling down my face.
He chuckled. "How can I with what I've seen. Why can't you tell me? Is someone after you? Talk to me?" He said looking straight ahead through the windshield. I could tell he was coming from a place of compassion but I just couldn't. I kept quiet for what seemed like minutes because my mind was racing so fast. I watch his expression go from worried to sad to angry. He put his hand over his face took a deep breath and got out the car. I got out too and he locked it. He walked up to me and kissed my lips deeply. For a moment, I thought he forgave me but, after the kiss he walked away from me I ran after him grabbing his arm. I was definitely confused.
"Christian wait." I stated his arm still in my hand. He snatched it away.
"Monica, I can't be with someone who can't keep it real with me. It's over" He said starting to walk away to a few girls headed back in the building. I held my hand up to my lips just wondering what the kiss was for until I realized that he was seriously breaking up with me. Why wouldn't he thought, He had every right. Because from the outside looking in I'm just some fat nobody who obviously wasn't real with him about the bite marks and hickies and beatings. I would've done the same thing had it been the other way around.
Christian
"You said what?" Shawn asked shocked. Omar even was surprised by the information I gave as well. We were sitting in the game room in my house playing 2k. It was two days after our break up and I'm not going to lie and say I don't miss her and Ava. I haven't been back to school and I could already feel like my grades were declining because of it.
"I just told her I couldn't be with her if she couldn't keep it real with me." I repeated. They all just shook their heads in disbelief.
"And what's so bad that she did? I mean you were with what's her name and she did all types of fucked up shit. I bet Monica couldn't even touch all that she did." Tray commented. I didn't tell about everything just enough to know that we were over and it was serious. As much as I was mad at her, I would never put her business out there like that. I actually do love her. Also, I just didn't want to hear Omar's mouth.
"Yeah, it couldn't be that bad. What she do?" Shawn asked looking just as curious as Tray.
"I want to know too." O said. I sighed and sat back on my couch in the game room of my home. I knew they would keep bugging me and I had to tell my boys so, I told them everything from her not feeling well that morning all the way to the car conversation. I even told them about how I punched a hole in my room wall and cried like a baby once I got home that day.
"My hand still hasn't healed and I don't even know if I can play in Fridays game. And the dance is right after too and I don't want to go if I can't play in the game." I said getting mad all over again. This situation was really ruining my school year. I looked at my boys and noticed that all of them had unbelieving eyes except Omar. He looked confused and I knew he was about to come with one million-and-one questions.
"Wait, so let me get this right, she cheated on you?" Omar asked.
"Bro like dead ass, I'm not trying to hear that shit right now." I warned. He leaned back in his chair with his hands up not saying a word.
"Christian, man maybe some type of animal bit her." Tray said. He really like Monica and me together. He was always saying we were relationship goals. I knew he would try to downplay what she did to keep us together but I can't see past the bite marks. I looked at him like he was stupid. I was beginning to get tired of this situation all together. We were together anymore and that was that.
"Look, we over. I don't care about this shit and I'm done talking about it!" I snapped. Everyone understood and we continued to play the game, or so I thought.
"Damn, she really got you mad bro." Shawn said shaking his head. "You don't even want to go to the dance man. That's not you. You should go and like make her mad and be around a bunch of bitches." He said jokingly. He liked Monica too. I guess he was trying to lighten the mood on the subject.
"Aye, you could always go with Jessica." Omar suggested laughing. He knew I hated her. However, the thought of making Monica mad was something that did cross my mind. I wanted her to hurt like she hurt me. Just for a little bit.
"Y'all wild." I said. "But, I could ask her." I said joining in on their laughter.
"Do you fucking hear yourself!" Destiny snapped. I hadn't even noticed her standing by the door. I wonder just how much she heard of or conversation . I knew she like both Monica and Ava and told me that she was good for me so I knew she was going to be on her side.
"What?" I asked annoyed.
"Christian, Monica is the best girlfriend you've ever had. To hear you even say you might ask a girl that you said yourself that you hate to the dance makes me sad to call you my brother." She yelled frustrated. She looked like she wanted to kill me, lecture, and hug me all in one. Shawn and Tray took that as a que to go and dap me before leaving. Omar asked if I wanted him to stay as he looked at my sister. I just told him no and prepared for all the she was going to say. Thankfully, she waited until everyone was gone to talk.
"Something doesn't sit right in my spirit." She said. I looked at her confused as to what she was talking about.
"Destiny, it's simple. She cheated on me and that's that. How else can you explain those bite marks?" I said shrugging it off and switching my game back to single player mode.
"That's what doesn't sit right, like Christian, its Monica. She loves you. I can see it in her eyes. I don't think she would just cheat on you suddenly. Its more to this story." She said watching me pick my team.
"She couldn't even tell me what's up though. All she kept saying is that she couldn't tell me and that I just had to trust her. How the hell am I supposed to do that? Huh? How Sway?" I said finally choosing the Raptors.
"I hear your logic bro, trust me I do but my spirit isn't sitting right with this. I'm going to try and talk with her." She said getting up grabbing her bag by the door as she exited.
"Just leave it alone sis. I guess it just wasn't meant to be." I said continuing with my game. As she left I could help but wonder if her intuition was telling her something that I couldn't figure out for the life of me. I wanted to trust her, I really wanted to but, how? I would always be thinking if it would happen again or would it be worst next time. I can't be with someone who doesn't keep it real. I just can't.
Monica
Christian hadn't been to school in two days. Things at home have been hell. Ava is still in the hospital, for some reason her blood pressure isn't going down so their trying to figure out what's wrong. I have a feeling that it has to do with all that's going on at home. Although I'm sad about her having to stay. I'm happy because right now this is the safest place for her. She keeps asking for Christian to stop by but I can't call him. Thankfully Destiny and Kayla came by to keep her busy. To my surprise, Destiny wasn't nasty toward me like I thought she would be. When she came in she just hugged me for what seemed like hours and told me that she hoped everything worked out. To be honest I did too. I really loved Christian so much that I was considering still going to the dance and actually dealing with whatever consequences that were to come. But I knew now that it wasn't a going to happen and even if he did forgive me for the marks, he would never want to hear from me again after all the aftermath from what Rodney would do to me on the night of the dance. I sat in silence as they played with Ava just fidgeting silently in my chair with my head down. Once Destiny left and Ava went down for her nap Kayla I could hear Kayla weeping in her chair. I walked over to console her. I knew this was taking a toll on her too but not to this capacity.
"Monica, you have to tell him." Kayla said through tears. I walked away from her when she said that. She knew why I was doing this. She knew it had to stay secret.
"No. He can't know" I said looking over to Ava who was peacefully sleeping away.
"Monica, I'm just trying to help. I only want what's best for you and Ava." She said walking over to me tears still in her eyes.
"Well, I know what's best for me and Ava and I'm not telling him." I snapped. We both looked over at Ava and she didn't move a muscle. Kayla wiped her eyes and began to grab her belongings.
"I can't sit back and let you waste away like this. He's horrible for the things he's done to you and if you wont tell, I will." She said walking toward Ava kissing her forehead. I couldn't believe what she was saying. My hands began to shake and I regretted telling her anything.
"What!" I said. I knew I heard her correctly but I was giving her a chance to hopefully change her mind. "You know I'm only doing this for Ava." I said with tears still streaming down my face. It was a surprise to me that I still had any tears left with all I've been going through in this week.
"You've got two days." She said leaving out.
"Kayla, wait" I called after her to hopefully talk it out but she ignored me and continued out the room. I couldn't help but break down. I knew she was serious. I couldn't let her break me and my sister up.
***
I barely slept because I couldn't help but think of the words Kayla said to me. I was a zombie walking into school the next morning. The little walk to my locker felt so far away. Along the way, I saw Christian and his friends but he still said nothing to me. I kept walking trying not to think about his ignorance.
"Hey Monica!" I heard a voice say.
"Hold up!" Another continued.
I turned to see Shawn and Tray coming my way. I took a deep breath waiting for harsh words. I knew that their loyalty was to Christian and with us over it was probably back to the bullying and rude comments.
"Look, I just wanted you to know you still cool with us regardless of whatever went down with you and Christian." Tray said. It warmed my heart to hear this. The best news I heard all week.
"Yea, we know he love you and we got love for you." Shawn said. I nodded.
"Thanks fellas. It's nice to know I have at least you two." I said hugging them. "So like, has he talked about it? Do you think he would be willing to talk to me?" I asked. They shrugged.
"He's pretty upset. But, I'm hoping so or both of y'alls sake." He said rubbing my flat hair. I knew I looked a mess but between the hospital, school and Rodney there wasn't much time for dressing up.
"Well, thanks guys. Please keep me updated. I miss him so much." I pleaded. They agreed and walked back over to the rest of the crew which consisted of Omar and Christian. I finally got to my locker and saw Kayla standing next to it with her arms folded.
"You told him yet?" She asked before I could even get all the way there. I rolled my eyes.
"No, and I shouldn't have to!" I said defensively.
"No Monica, you shouldn't have to go through the shit that you do." She said through gritted teeth. "You have a guy that loves you for you. He's patient with you and isn't trying to get in your pants 24/7 and you're willing to throw that away to save that Nasty Fuck!" She continued. I couldn't say anything. She was partially right. I just dropped my head with hopes that she would just leave. She sighed before speaking again.
"Look, Monica. I'm your best friend. I love you too and you don't see it now but I'm doing what best for you and Ava. Tell him." She said and walked off. I slammed by locker and rushed off to class only to bump into someone. I looked up and it was Christian walking with Jessica and they were holding hands. He noticed it was me and turned his nose up. Tears were already in my eyes but he never looked there. Jessica stood with a huge smile on her face.
"Well of course I'll go to the dance with you!" She said loud enough for the entire hallway to hear. My jaw dropped when I heard those words. How could he do this to me
"Ooh and just wait until you see my dress." She said kissing him on the cheek and walking away but not before winking at me. He started to walk away in the opposite direction but I grabbed his arm.
"Are you serious?" I mustered the courage to say. He finally looked at me and I could see just as much hurt in his eyes. His response didn't match.
"Well, I asked you to tell me what was up and you didn't so, I'm moving on." He said snatching his arm from my grasp
"Christian, I, I can't." I said looking down. I heard him sigh and I brought my face back to his. I could see him wanting to console me.
"You know what, it doesn't even matter now. I just wanted to know. He can have you. I've upgraded to better things." He said nonchalantly . I knew he didn't mean it. He began to walk away but I stepped in front of him.
"Baby, you don't understand. He," I started before he cut me off. I almost let it slip. I knew I had to do this because it would probably hurt him worst to hear it from Kayla.
"Don't call me baby, don't talk to me, don't even look my way." He snapped that really hurt. "I can't believe I took the chance and wifed a girl like you." He said walking around me.
"Aye bro, you asked Jessica yet?" Omar asked walking over to us. He looked at me then back at Christian.
"Ok, have it your way Christian." I yelled throwing my hands up. By now the bell rang and most student were in class. A few stayed behind to see us argue. "you know for a second I actually thought you were different but, I guess not." I snapped taking the chain he gave me off and throwing it at him. "Give it to your whack ass upgrade." I started to walk away but turned around and walked back up to him. "And by the way Ava is still in the hospital. She asked about you and I didn't know what to tell her. I guess I'll just have to tell her you upgraded." I said with tears escaping my eyes yet again, silently. I had to find a way to keep Kayla from telling him because there was no hope of us getting back together.