Closure is not really something someone necessarily wants to get, but it's something they have to get in order to take one step forward and walk away from the past. Closure, along with answers, is something Camila has never really gotten when it comes to a lot of aspects of her life. She never really asked her parents why they kicked her out for being attracted to girls, she just left. She never really was able to say goodbye to her friends and colleagues in Venice, she just got on the plane and never looked back.
As she stands in the mirror, her slender fingers tracing over the ragged scars on her body, she decides then and there that she needs to get answers and some closure from one particular person who used to be in her life. The person who created most of the scars on her fragile body.
She is supposed to be at the bar rehearsing for her set tomorrow. That's what she told Lauren she would be doing when the green-eyed girl asked before she left for her own work. Truth is, she couldn't tell Lauren what her real plans for the day are. She knows her wife would never let her do it. Camila didn't want to lie to Lauren, but her wife isn't the one that has to live with the memories... or the scars.
Camila has had this planned for a week now. This exact date. She had to call up to the jail and see if she could be put on a visitation list. Turns out she didn't even have to be put on one because he had already put her on it. She wasn't surprised in the slightest. They dated for awhile and she knows that he knows what kind of person she is. She knows he knows that she has always been the type of person to demand answers, to demand reasons.
After throwing on a pair of blue jeans and a band tee, she grabs her car keys and drives to the local jail. When she walks in, she makes her way to the front desk and signs in. The woman at the front desk looks at her sympathetically and Camila guesses that most of the people who work at the jail know about what the inmates are in for. The brown eyed girl can see it in the blue eyes before her that the lady knows who she is and who she is here to see. The woman pities her, but her eyes are also asking the question that she has been asking herself for a week.
What the hell are you doing here?
She continues to ask herself that question as she is led down a dimly lit hallway and into a room on her right. When she enters, she sees a row of chairs that are sitting in front of glass windows. There are different cubicles and each one has a phone in it. She has seen places like this before on television and she knows that any minute, she will come face to face with Austin again.
All the cubicles are empty, it's just her and the security guard. He gestures to the first cubicle and Camila wearily sits down in the chair and faces the glass in front of her.
"I am going to signal for them to bring him in. If you need anything, I will be right outside the door." The officer informs her and she just nods, signaling that she understands.
When the door to the room closes, she immediately wipes her sweaty palms on her blue jeans and tries to calm her breathing. Seconds later, a door behind the glass in front of her opens and she sees an orange jumpsuit come into view. She trails her eyes from the ground and up the orange jumpsuit until her eyes connect with Austin's.
It doesn't surprise Camila in the slightest that he is sporting a haughty smirk while being escorted into the room. She feels her breathing start to become uneven as he sits down in front of her. She watches skeptically as the boy reaches over and takes the phone and places it to his ear. When he motions for her to pick up hers, she slowly reaches out and grabs it and places the cold phone to her ear.
"I knew you'd come, baby." His voice sends chills up her spine. "Couldn't stay away, huh?"
"I have questions. That's why I'm here." She whispers into the receiver.
"To be honest, I was disappointed to hear that you weren't here for a conjugal visit. I miss fucking you." He replies as he licks his lips, his eyes drifting down to stare at her breasts.
"Why did you do it? What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much that you would beat me everyday?" Camila questions.
"It was just too easy. You were just too easy." The boy chuckles. "I knew it when I first saw you. I knew the moment I first laid eyes on you that I could manipulate you."
Camila clenches her fists under the table until her knuckles turn white.
"Then we dated and I figured out you were broken. You weren't what I wanted after all." He leans closer to the table and places his elbows on it. "But you were a good fuck and you never complained when I wanted to get a bit rough with you so I decided to keep you around."
That was it for Camila. She stands up from her chair so fast that she sends it toppling over behind her. "I am a fucking human being Austin! I wasn't someone you could just hit because you felt like it! I had feelings and I felt pain just like any other person!"
"Then why did you stay, huh? You know you liked it Camila." He replies calmly, the smirk still evident on his features.
"Because I couldn't remember what real love felt like! We were good in the beginning. For the first couple of months it was normal. We were normal. We went to the movies and out to eat." Camila runs her fingers through her hair in frustration. "But it was like after I told you I loved you, you changed. Why?"
"Because I knew I had you then. I knew you'd stay no matter what I did to you." He answers without hesitation.
"I thought it was love, but I was wrong. Turns out I couldn't remember what real love felt like. I couldn't remember that real love was caring and beautiful and it didn't hurt. I couldn't remember that there was a woman out there that loved me with every fiber of her being and would never ever lay a finger on me." The brunette feels her chest rising and falling rapidly, tears springing to her eyes.
"She doesn't love you Camila! You are completely unlovable and so broken that no one can love you!" The boy stands up and starts banging on the glass in front of him. "She will eventually do to you what I did. Fuck you and beat you like I did. It's just a matter of time!"
"Fuck you, Austin! Lauren is nothing like you!" The brunette spits on the glass between the two of them. "You are a worthless piece of shit and I hope that someone in here finds out what you did and makes you their bitch."
Seconds later the door behind Austin opens and the security guard walks swiftly over to him and grabs him. He is roughly pulled out of the room and once he exits, she does the same. When she walks out, she ignores the worried glances that the officers and the lady at the front desk give her. She just walks straight to her car and gets in. She keeps driving and driving until she comes up on the familiar apartment. She walks up to the door and notices that there is still police tape across it. After ripping it off the door, she walks in. It is then that she sees that all of Austin's belongings are still there.
Camila makes her way down the hallway and comes to a stop in front of the broken bathroom door. She pushes it open and lets out a sigh of relief when she sees that the floor has been cleaned of her blood. She slowly walks in and stands in front of the mirror.
"Why did I let you do that to me?" She whispers quietly to herself as she places both of her palms on the tile counter. "How could I let anyone do that to me? Why couldn't I see it? That it was all wrong. That every aspect of that relationship was toxic and wrong." The brunette slams her fists down on the counter before angrily storming out of the room and into the boy's bedroom.
Anything that is in her sights, she grabs and chunks against the wall. Bottles of cologne crash against the wall as well as picture frames. She opens up the apartment window and throws every article of his clothing out of it. She sees a baseball bat in the corner of his room and she grabs it before making her way to the living room area.
"I should've stopped him!" She yells as she collides the bat with the television screen. "I should've told someone! Anyone!" The bat collides with the picture frames on the walls and sends them all flying to the ground. Once she's finished vandalizing the apartment with the bat, she grabs a knife from the kitchen and digs it into the sofa and recliner. She carves "pig" into both of them before chunking the knife across the room. She picks up the bat once again and heads into the bathroom where he beat her senseless. Once again, she looks at her reflection in the mirror. There are black streaks down her cheeks from her eye makeup.
"I am not worthless." She whispers as she brings the bat up. "I am not unlovable." She says as she smashes the bat into the mirror. She closes her eyes tightly when glass explodes all around her. "I am not easy." She takes another swing at the mirror. And then another. And then five more after that. When there is no piece of glass left in front of her, she drops the bat and places her palms on the counter to try and steady her breathing and stop her tears.
"You're fucking perfect. That's what you are." When Camila hears a voice other than her own, she looks up from the counter and her eyes meet worried green ones. "You are beautiful, kind, talented, smart, sexy, and worthy of love." Lauren steps forward slowly. "You are the most amazing person I have ever known." The green eyed girl stops walking when she is standing in front of the girl. "You are the love of my life and the keeper of my heart. You are my wife and I love you more than anything in this world." Lauren reaches up and wipes away the tears that are falling freely down Camila's tanned cheeks.
"Lo." Camila whimpers and not seconds later Lauren scoops Camila up into her arms and walks them to the couch. She sits down on it, or what's left of it, and sets Camila down on her lap. "I'm so sorry I went I needed closure and I know I shouldn't have lied to you, but I knew you wouldn't let me go if you knew."
"Shh." Lauren cooes when she notices Camila's breathing starting to get even more unsteady. "I'm not mad, baby, I just wish you would've let me come with you." The green-eyed girl rocks her wife back and forth in her arms in an attempt to try and calm her down.
"He said I was broken. That he only stayed with me because I was a good fuck. He said I was unlovable." The younger girl hiccups as she relays to Lauren what Austin told her. Lauren feels her blood boil and it takes everything in her not to drive to the jail and kill the boy with her bare hands.
"You aren't broken and you are definitely not unlovable. I love you with every fiber of my being and I always will." Lauren pulls Camila closer to her and places a lingering kiss to the back of her neck.
"I love you." Camila whispers.
"I love you, princess." Lauren says before standing up with Camila still in her arms. She carries the girl to her car and places her in the front seat. She slides in the driver's seat and sends a quick text to Dinah asking her to please come and get Camila's car. Lauren reaches over and places her hand on her wife's leg and it stays there as she drives them back to their apartment. Once they arrive, Lauren looks over and sees that Camila is sound asleep, her head resting on the window.
Not having the heart to wake her up, the older Latina carries her wife up to their apartment and lays her on the bed. She quickly grabs the first aid kit and sits on the bed next to Camila. She noticed in Austin's apartment that her hands were cut up from the glass. Once she digs out a few pieces of glass from each of her wife's palms, she cleans the cuts and bandages both hands up. She places a kiss to both the bandages before gently laying her hands back on the bed.
Lauren exits the room quietly and quickly pulls out her phone. She dials the number to the jail and calmly tells the lady at the front desk to never, under any circumstance, let Camila Cabello visit Austin Mahone again. The lady immediately apologizes for letting it happen in the first place and informs the worried wife that Camila will never be allowed to visit him again. Once Lauren gets that confirmation, she makes her way back into their bedroom. She grabs Camila's phone and unlocks it. Once she makes sure that Camila's location is shared with her indefinitely, she locks her phone back and sets it back on the nightstand.
When Lauren got home this afternoon to find the apartment empty, she didn't worry. However, when she went to the bar and found it empty as well, she worried. She immediately dialed Dinah and asked the Polynesian to check her phone and tell her Camila's exact location. As she sped over to Austin's apartment, she swore to herself that the next time she saw her wife that she would take her phone and immediately make sure that she would be able to access Camila's location 24/7.
Once she strips her work clothes off, she climbs in bed next to her wife and drapes an arm over her waist so she can pull her closer.
"You are the most important person in my life. You have been ever since the day I walked into that classroom in Venice and saw you reading my favorite book." Lauren pauses long enough to lean in and place a kiss to the back of Camila's head. "I knew I had to make you mine and I'm so thankful that you gave me a chance to. Because you, Camila Cabello, are the best thing that's ever been mine."