Written 2015
Revised April 2021
A/N you're in for a long one!
*Ellie's POV*
The sunlight peaking through my curtains lands perfectly on my face, waking me up from a deep sleep. I squint my eyes and pull the covers over my face. My head is pounding so hard I swear its shaking my entire body. What did I drink last night? I've only gotten this hungover once in my life. Tequila. My stomach turns at the thought of the clear liquor. I stretch my legs, jumping as they brush up against someone else's smooth skin. Demi. Was last night a dream? I slowly pull the covers off, looking to my occupied space next to me. Hayley? I can't quite figure out if I'm relieved or sad its not Demi laying next to me. I sit up and scan my room. I find my phone on my nightstand, plugged in and fully charged. Hayley must have done that. Speaking of, why and how is she here? Last night is very much a blur, but I haven't seen Hayley since before Christmas. I unlock my phone and scroll through my notifications. I sigh as I reach the end. Nothing from Demi.
I toss my phone on my bed near my feet before laying back against the headboard. I sit in silence for a while when my stomach begins to turn. I get a weird sensation in my mouth, realizing what's about to happen. I throw the covers off myself and run to the bathroom. I lift the toilet seat up and try my best to hold my hair back as I vomit up last nights regret. I feel hands cup my head behind me, pulling my hair back as I vomit again. Hayley hands me a few tissues before sitting on the edge of the tub. I sit on the cold tile floor, my elbow on the edge of the toilet, incase I need to throw up again. I rest my head in my hand, letting myself silently cry. Hayley sits there in silence, her presence comforting enough.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, wiping my mouth with the tissue before throwing it in the toilet.
"Marissa called me. She was worried about you, but she had... other business to attend to last night."
I chuckle. "By other business do you mean Demi?" She stays silent, looking away. That answers that question.
"Are you okay?" She asks softly, as if she's scared to ask me that.
"Oh yeah, I'm great. I like to let loose on Friday nights. I figured an entire bottle of tequila would be fun." I say sarcastically. I get up from the floor, flushing the toilet before washing my hands and gargling some mouthwash. I open the medicine cabinet and grab the bottle of headache relief.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks, following me out of the bathroom and to the kitchen. I grab a bottle of water and swallow two pills.
"I'm getting real sick of answering that question." I say, rubbing my temples with my fingers.
"You should explain to Demi what happened." Hayley suggests. I chuckle as I lean against the kitchen island, playing with the tag on the kitchen towel.
"Yeah, she doesn't want to hear from me. Not even the truth."
"Which is?" She asks.
"My boss thought I was sending her romantic signals that I liked her so she kissed me. I pulled away immediately, at least I think I did."
"You should tell Demi that. If that's the truth then she shouldn't be so mad at you."
I sigh, looking at the clock. "It's too late. Her flight leaves in an hour."
"So?" Hayley questions.
"So she's probably already on her way to the airport." I reply, fiddling with the promise ring Demi gave me.
"So? Get your shoes on. We have an airport to get to."
***
"Come on! It's a green light!" Hayley honks her horn and screams. The windows are up and the radio is on. There's no way the car in front of her heard. But Hayley doesn't care. I chuckle. Hayley has always been impatient. It's sometimes annoying, but in a situation like this, it comes in handy.
Hayley slams on her brakes as we close in on the traffic up ahead. We come to a complete stop. This is the longest quarter mile ever. I begin to shake my leg up and down as I watch another plane take off. My heart drops every time, thinking it's Demi's plane. I can't take this anymore. I unlock the door and get out.
"Ellie, what are you doing?" She asks fearful.
I look at the departing plane then back at Hayley. "I'm going to get my girl." I say, shutting her car door with force. I hold my phone and wallet in my hand as I run down the street, swerving in between cars. The adrenaline rush pairs with my hangover headache, making me feel a little dizzy. Please don't throw up. Please don't throw up. I take a few deep breaths, in through my nose, out through my mouth. I'm almost there. My calves are on fire and my knees want to give out, but I keep on running. I maneuver between people and bags, reading the screen of departing flights. Terminal B. I run up to the ticket counter, cutting a few people in line.
I throw my credit card and license on the counter. "I need a one way ticket to Vancouver." I say, panting, out of breath.
The lady types away on her computer. "I'm sorry, that flight is all booked. We have another one departing at eleven o'clock tonight." She suggests.
This is the boarding call for flight 815 to Vancouver. Passengers, please make your way to gate 12. We are now boarding group A and B.
My heart begins to race. That's Demi's flight. I'm not going to make it. "Give me any one way ticket for a plane departing near gate 12!" I demand.
Reluctantly, the lady agrees, handing me my credit card, license and ticket. Without looking at the destination, I take it and run.
"Excuse me. Sorry. Coming through. Excuse me." I say to each person I brush past as I run up the escalator.
This is the boarding call for flight 815 to Vancouver. Passengers, please make your way to gate 12. We are now boarding all groups.
I make my way to security, anxiously trying to find the shortest line. I bounce up and down, not being able to control my nerves. I'm instructed to take my shoes off, which I do frantically. My eyes are scanning the room, hoping by some miracle Demi is also going through security. Knowing her, she's probably wearing sunglasses and a hoodie, clutching at her pillow.
Two people ahead of me.
This is the final boarding call for flight 815 to Vancouver. Passengers, please make your way to gate 12. Final boarding call.
No. This can't be happening. I'm so close. I walk through the metal detector. When I'm cleared, I grab my shoes, wallet and phone, not bothering to put on my shoes. I run down the hallway. A crowd begins to form on either side as two gates are deplaning. I'm caught between dozens of people walking in the opposite direction as me, slowing me down. I trip over a few luggage bags, not bothering to apologize. Gate 12, all the way at the end of the terminal. I'm out of breath, but somehow still running. The final person in line just walked through the door, disappearing behind the wall. I pick up my pace as best as I can, dodging a rollaway luggage bag and elderly couple. I watch as the flight attendant waves goodbye to the employee at the counter before grabbing the door handle and closing the gate shut.
"No, wait!" I scream, waving my ticket in the air, hoping they'd think I'm a passenger on the plane and will stop it for me. I finally make it to gate 12, out of breath. I rest my hands on my knees as I try to catch my breath.
"Sorry, ma'am, this flight is all booked up. Everyone is accounted for. Are you sure you have the right gate number?" She asks in a southern accent.
I breathe deeply, still trying to catch my breath. "My girlfriend is in there. I need to talk to her." I manage to say.
"Sorry, once the doors are closed we cannot open them." She says apologetic.
"Please. It's important." I beg. At this point, I have no objection to getting on my hands and knees.
"Is she in danger or sick?" I shake my head no. "Then I'm sorry ma'am. We have seats available on our eleven o'clock flight tonight." She offers.
I wave my hand no. I've already heard this before from the lady at the ticket counter. I take one last look at the plane, watching it back up on the runway. This is it. I let her get away.
I walk back towards security and down the exit ramp. Hayley is standing there, waiting for me. When she see's the look on my face she knows I was too late. She opens her arms, letting me fall into them. I let a few tears escape my eyes and fall onto her shirt. I've cried more in the past 2 days than I have in the past year. I'm surprised I have any tears left. Hayley walks us through the crowds of gathering families, down the escalator and back outside.
I take a seat in her passenger seat. I stare at the ring on my finger. I take it off, running my finger over the engraved lettering. Forever. So much for forever.
*Demi's POV*
I didn't want to leave Los Angeles like this. Leave on bad terms with Ellie. However, one thing I knew for certain was that I needed space. I need to be alone to figure out what the future holds for us. Unfortunately, it just so happens to be opening night. As much as I want space from Ellie and appreciate her respect for my wishes, a part of me is a little upset I haven't heard from her. I try my best to steer away from negative thoughts, but in a situation like this... it's kind of impossible. Has she not gotten in touch with me because she's respecting my wishes or because she doesn't thing I'm worth fighting for? Is she choosing Andrea over me? I unlock my phone again, the fifth time this hour. Nothing from Ellie. I sigh, putting it on the dressing room couch, running my hands through my hair.
"Demi, sound check is- why aren't you dressed?" Natalie asks, standing in the doorway.
"I'm just going to go out like this." I shrug. I'm wearing oversized sweatpants, Ellie's oversized sweatpants to be exact, moccasins and the Paramore shirt Marissa let me borrow last night.
"Like hell you are." Natalie says, putting her hand on her hip.
"I don't feel like getting dressed." I say adamantly. I think going out onstage to answer some questions and sing at most two songs is totally acceptable.
"I don't know what the hell is going on but you need to forget it for tonight. Most of your Lovatics came here tonight to forget about their own problems. Don't let them down. Take a few deep breaths, meditate, and then I want your game face on" She says stubbornly.
I sigh, sulking back on the couch. She's right about one thing. I can't let my Lovatics down. "I'm going to get someone to bring you a change of clothes from your bus when I get you a double shot espresso." Natalie instructs before shutting the door behind her.
Not long after Natalie leaves, someone from my costume crew who I have yet to learn their name enters, handing me black skinny jeans, a white v neck shirt and a black blazer. Really, Natalie? The polar opposite of what I'm wearing right now. I roll my eyes before pulling my shirt over my head.
I meet Natalie in one of the wings backstage. She hands me my espresso, hoping it will give me a boost of energy. I don't think that's how you cure a heartbreak, Natalie. Natalie walks onstage and I trail behind her. The bright stage lights cause me to squint. The audience, which is a few hundred people deep, is screaming at the top of their lungs, radiating through the entire stadium.
A bunch of people scream things at me all at once, but I can't make out what either of them said. I just smile as I take a seat at the bottom of the stage.
"Alright, alright we're going to get started. Demi, what's your favorite song off your new album?" Natalie says.
I hold the microphone up to my lips, preparing for my answer. "It changes almost every day. Right now I'd say Nightingale."
"Someone wants to know what's your favorite ride?"
I smirk, thinking about a slick answer. I decide to have fun with this Q&A. "Does your mom count?" I say jokingly. The audiences response causes me to smile, something I haven't done in a few days. The smile is cut short when a fan asks about my relationship with Ellie.
"Do you plan on proposing to Ellie?" He asks and I feel my body tense up. I grip the mic tighter, my knuckles turning white. It's not the question that causes this reaction in me. It's the sound of her name that makes me want to lose control. For once the audience is silent, waiting on me to respond.
"Who knows. We're both girls. Either one of us can propose." I say simply, not giving away any information about our relationship.
"Do you love her?" Someone yells from the back of the audience.
"With all my heart." I say truthfully.
"Okay, let's get back on track. We have a few more questions before Demi sings a few songs." Natalie informs the crowd, trying to get them to settle down.
After soundcheck, Natalie and Max escort me down the hall to my backdrop where the meet and greet will be taking place. I check my phone quickly as I'm waiting for the meet and greet to start. I don't know why I keep checking my phone. I told her I wanted space. I practically yelled at her before slamming her front door shut. Why am I upset that she's doing the one thing I asked her to do; give me space.
***
"You have five minutes." Natalie says, handing me my phone. I take it from her, looking at the screen. Ellie is on the other line.
I sit up in my hair and makeup chair, almost burning myself with the curling iron my hair dresser is using on my hair.
"Hello." I say.
"Hi, Demi." Ellie says on the other line. Her voice is soft, yet cracks as my name escapes her lips. She's been crying. I almost want to break down with her, but remember I have to be strong and focus on myself and the thousands of people in the audience tonight.
"I don't have much time. I'm about to go on stage." I say, leaning back in the chair to finish my hair.
"I just wanted to say break a leg out there tonight." Ellie says encouragingly.
Is she really going to pretend like last night never happened? "Is that all?" I say almost passive aggressive.
"Well- I wanted to tell you the truth about what happened." She mumbles.
I scoff. "Please, I really don't want any details on how the love of my life cheated on me like everyone else I've ever dated."
"Then I won't give you details, considering are no details to tell. However, I will not let you go without telling you the truth." Ellie demands. I let out a deep breath, not saying a word. She takes that as an okay from my end. "Andrea asked me to volunteer for an after school event. When we were cleaning up she leaned in and kissed me. I pushed her away as soon as it happened and left immediately." Ellie explains.
"Did you kiss her back?" I ask. It's one thing if Ellie pushed Andrea off of her. It's a whole other story if Ellie reciprocated the kiss. That will be the determining factor of how deeply this affects our relationship. "Well did you?" I repeat as I hear silence on the other end.
"I-I don't remember."
"Don't remember? Do you remember our kisses?" I ask, slowly questioning the accuracy of the words coming out of Ellie's lips.
"Of course I remember our kisses." Ellie insists, the hurt clearly noticeable in her voice. "Her kiss can never compare to the ones I've shared with you."
"I saw the way you looked at her that morning during the interview. In her pencil skirt and button down shirt. Do you think she's hot?" I ask, gripping my phone in my hand, worried I might crush it in half.
"Not as hot as you." Ellie says and with that I stand up from the chair, steam coming through my ears like a cartoon character.
"Did you really just say that, Ellie? I trusted you! I opened up to you-" I say raising my voice.
"Opened up to me?" Ellie says, raising her voice to match mine. "No Demi, I opened up to you. I confided in you about being raped. About being pregnant. About my family disowning me." Ellie's voice cracks at the end, and I can hear her sobbing through the speaker.
I tilt my head back, trying to hold back tears so I don't ruin my makeup. This is not how I wanted this conversation to go. I wanted us to fix things and instead we're going in the other direction at full speed.
"Demi, you're on in ten." Natalie says, giving me a final warning before places.
"You're right. You did open up to me." I admit, in a more softer tone. "But it doesn't make someone else's lips on yours okay. And because of that, I need time to think about the future of our relationship. So goodbye, Ellie."
"Wait!" Ellie stops me from hanging up.
"I still love you. Forever, remember?" She says. I bring free my hand up to the one holding my phone. I lightly graze the diamond when I hear the phone click, signaling she hung up. Forever.
___________________________
A/N Hey lovelies, so when I first wrote this fanfic, Demi was only 21 years old and was on her tour with Fifth Harmony and Little Mix... Although I'm revising this, I have decided to keep with the story line of her being on tour with them for her Neon Lights Tour. I know, she's had plenty of other tours and albums come out since then but I just figured why change it if it doesn't have to be changed... I'm trying my best to not write anything that gives away her age so that way she can essentially be any age in the story.
Also fun fact... When I went to the Neon Lights Tour, we were stuck in traffic. I had meet and greet for Demi and I ACTUALLY MISSED SOUNDCHECK because the traffic was so bad. So I literally got out of the car and ran for quite some time until I made it to the venue. I missed Demi's meet and greet as well but she had a second one for radio winners after the paid meet and greet so they just put us in that line but yeah it was wild. So I kind of got the inspiration of Ellie running from my own experience lol.