Damn! This is the 50th chapter, and it finally reached 10k reads,🌸💖
I'm so grateful to those of you who continue to read this book. Thank you all!
💖 🌸 🖤 💖 🌸 🖤 💖 🌸
I dedicate this chapter to aqua_teen for commenting so much across all of my books and also reading them (you literally read almost all of my books lol). So thank you, babe!
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pessimism:(noun)
A tendency to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen. "the dispute cast an air of deep pessimism over the future of the peace talks." -synonyms: defeatism, negative thinking, negativity, expecting the worst, doom and gloom, gloom, gloominess; hopelessness, lack of hope, cynicism, fatalism, depression, despair, melancholy, despondency, dejection, angst, distrust, doubt; Weltschmerz; informal looking on the black side. "formerly he had been prone to pessimism, full of gloomy predictions about the future"
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"Take me with you cus even on your own, you are not alone. Take me with you 'cause even by yourself, my love, you are something else."
Song - Portugal
Artist - Walk the Moon
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"And I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever, and if you only hold me tight. We'll be holding on forever and we'll only be making it right, 'cause we'll never be wrong together."
Song - Total Eclipse of the Heart
Artist - Westlife Version (Orginal Artist, Bonnie Tyler.)
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...A week later...
Harry
"Joe baby, you need to leave this room," I whisper into her ear as she grips the toilet bowl, emptying the contents of her stomach into it. I hold her ponytail with one hand and rub her back with my other.
Joe coughs, wiping her mouth and turns her head to look at me. "How can I do that when I'm vomiting every five seconds?" She frowns but rests her head against my chest. "Besides, I thought we're supposed to be hiding?"
"I know, but you've been in here for a week,"
"I'm sorry Harry, it's just--after losing my mother, then the baby, I haven't felt like going anywhere." Although she no longer has a cast on her leg or needs crutches, I still help Joe up from her position on the floor.
I wrap my arm around her waist, once she's standing, I embrace her in a hug. "I understand love,"
"It feels like it's my fault," I frown, she keeps blaming herself for the death of her mum and our baby's. "I wasn't strong enough, Harry, I killed one of your ki-"
"No, don't you ever think that Joe," I cup her face and lean my forehead against hers. "Don't you ever say you killed our son," And daughter.
"But-"
I cut her off by bringing my lips to hers, and kiss her gently before pulling away. "Is there anywhere you wanna take me that's not public?"
"I would like to go to the river, w-where my dad's body was found--I never got to say goodbye to him," She looks up at me, her blue eyes glossy. "Dad would've loved you, Harry,"
With my hands still cupping her face, I use my thumbs to gently stroke her soft cheeks. "I wish I met him, he would be very proud of his daughter."
"He was religious, I'm pretty sure he'd have freaked out because I lost my virginity."
"I'm marrying you, so it wouldn't really matter." My eyes flicker to her lips then back up to her eyes. "Joe, your father would've been so very proud you, even though you lost your virginity and got tattoos. He's probably up there now, looking down at you feeling proud as any father would be."
Her eyes become glossy and a single tear falls from her left one. "You really think so?"
"Yes Joe, he would be so proud of you." I leave a kiss on her cheek before saying, "Come on baby, get dressed, we're going out."
"He was found at the Yarra Bend Golf Course," She suddenly says limping into our hotel room, and walks over to the wardrobe to get clothes out. "My dad, that's where he was found, the Golf Course Staff found his body on the Yarra River bank,"
I notice her freeze, the second I hear a soft whimper followed by a sob, I quickly walk up to her. Out of instinct, my arms wrap tightly around her small frame and hold her tightly against my chest.
"I never got to say goodbye to either of my parents," She cries into my shirt, fisting it with her hands. "I didn't even get to say goodbye to our son."
Apart of me wants to tell Joe that we also lost a daughter, but I can't do that to her, at least, not yet. She hasn't mourned over her mother yet, Joe seems to be trying to keep her emotions in, which isn't good.
"Harry, please don't leave me."
Briefly closing my eyes, I reopen them and stare down at the woman I love in my arms. "I told you before love, I won't leave you,"
She sniffles and pulls away from me saying, "Let's go,"
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Hand in hand we walk around the edges of the golf course, in hopes I don't get spotted, although I'm wearing a hoody and sunglasses people may still recognise me.
Joe stops when we almost reach the river, her hand squeezes mine. "I don't know if I can do this,"
"Baby, I'm right here with you," I tell her, squeezing her hand back.
Although we haven't walked very far, I know she's getting tired. Her limp is getting worse and her leg isn't healed yet, but regardless of the pain she must be in, Joe still wanted to walk.
I watch her chest expand beneath the jacket she's got on as she inhales and exhales, taking deep breaths.
Nodding her head, Joe continues to walk beside me. "I miss him," She says with a sigh. "Dad used to always joke around, Luke and dad had an amazing bond ya know?"
"Must've been nice to see," I commented.
She nodded. "Yeah, when we were younger, I would get jealous because Luke was his favourite." I catch Joe looking at me as she asks. "Harry? What happened to your dad? You never talk about him?"
"I-ugh-he's dead," A sigh leaves my throat, I never really wanted to have this conversation with her just yet. We have the rest of our lives to talk about it. "He died when I was six, my mum remarried when I was eight."
"Oh Harry, I'm sorry," Joe brings her lips to my cheek and leaves a soft kiss there.
I place my hands on her hips. "It's fine babe," Looking over her shoulder I spot an old police tap attached to a tree a few feet from the river bank. "Is that it?"
Joe turns around with a frown on her face and says. "I guess so, they said it was close to the river." She takes my hand in hers again and leads me into the area.
Old police tape covers a large square area, some of it has fallen to the ground while other parts are still connected to trees. I helped Joe under the tape by lifting it up, allowing her to go under neath of it.
When Joe bent down she cursed, her hand flying to her ribs. "Ouch," She groaned, leaning against a tree the tape is connected to.
"Shit, you okay?" I asked, quickly getting under the tape and to her side. She nodded her head, but I could tell she wasn't telling the truth. "I'm carrying you back to the car."
"Harry, I'm fine, really," She sighed and massaged her ribs. "I just bent over weirdly is all, and you're not carrying me back Harry, it's too far."
"You're my pregnant fiancee, you're still hurt, so yes, I'm carrying you," A gave her a smug expression causing her to roll her eyes at me. "You've got zero say in the matter babe."
"Whatever," Joe shook her head, smiling but as soon as she turned around and saw the mark on the sandy river bank, where her dad was found; that smile disappeared.
I stayed back as she approached the area. "Joe, I'm right here if you need me."
"Thank you, Harry,"
I stood next to a tree, allowing Joe to have some time to herself.
I hope she finally mourns over her mother's death and the miscarriage. I hate the fact she's been keeping all her emotions bottled up, even the doctor said it's bad for her. Of course, I'll be there when she finally cracks and releases her emotions. I'll always be there for her.
A figured appeared behind me, casting a shadow on the grass next to me. It's someone I didn't expect to see but when I turned around, his blue eyes stared right back at me then at Joe, his lips parted.
Anger bubbled up inside of me because with everything that happened to Joe, he never once tried to contact her, even after their mothers' death.
"What the hell? Harry? What are you and my sister doing here?"
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A/N
I'm so terribly sorry for not updating.
Anyway, what do you think Luke's reaction is gonna be when he finds out Joe lost the baby (well baby's)